50 bab ballads-第5部分
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And exercise in plenty。
In every weather； every day；
Dry； muddy； wet； or gritty；
He took to dancing all the way
From Brompton to the City。
You do not often get the chance
Of seeing sugar brokers dance
From their abode
In Fulham Road
Through Brompton to the City。
He braved the gay and guileless laugh
Of children with their nusses；
The loud uneducated chaff
Of clerks on omnibuses。
Against all minor things that rack
A nicely…balanced mind； I'll back
The noisy chaff
And ill…bred laugh
Of clerks on omnibuses。
His friends； who heard his money chink；
And saw the house he rented；
And knew his wife； could never think
What made him discontented。
It never entered their pure minds
That fads are of eccentric kinds；
Nor would they own
That fat alone
Could make one discontented。
〃Your riches know no kind of pause；
Your trade is fast advancing；
You dance … but not for joy； because
You weep as you are dancing。
To dance implies that man is glad；
To weep implies that man is sad；
But here are you
Who do the two …
You weep as you are dancing！〃
His mania soon got noised about
And into all the papers；
His size increased beyond a doubt
For all his reckless capers：
It may seem singular to you；
But all his friends admit it true …
The more he found
His figure round；
The more he cut his capers。
His bulk increased … no matter that …
He tried the more to toss it …
He never spoke of it as 〃fat；〃
But 〃adipose deposit。〃
Upon my word； it seems to me
Unpardonable vanity
（And worse than that）
To call your fat
An 〃adipose deposit。〃
At length his brawny knees gave way；
And on the carpet sinking；
Upon his shapeless back he lay
And kicked away like winking。
Instead of seeing in his state
The finger of unswerving Fate；
He laboured still
To work his will；
And kicked away like winking。
His friends； disgusted with him now；
Away in silence wended …
I hardly like to tell you how
This dreadful story ended。
The shocking sequel to impart；
I must employ the limner's art …
If you would know；
This sketch will show
How his exertions ended。
MORAL。
I hate to preach … I hate to prate …
… I'm no fanatic croaker；
But learn contentment from the fate
Of this East India broker。
He'd everything a man of taste
Could ever want； except a waist；
And discontent
His size anent；
And bootless perseverance blind；
Completely wrecked the peace of mind
Of this East India broker。
Ballad： THE PANTOMIME 〃SUPER〃 TO HIS MASK。
VAST empty shell！
Impertinent； preposterous abortion！
With vacant stare；
And ragged hair；
And every feature out of all proportion！
Embodiment of echoing inanity！
Excellent type of simpering insanity！
Unwieldy； clumsy nightmare of humanity！
I ring thy knell！
To…night thou diest；
Beast that destroy'st my heaven…born identity！
Nine weeks of nights；
Before the lights；
Swamped in thine own preposterous nonentity；
I've been ill…treated； cursed； and thrashed diurnally；
Credited for the smile you wear externally …
I feel disposed to smash thy face； infernally；
As there thou liest！
I've been thy brain：
I'VE been the brain that lit thy dull concavity！
The human race
Invest MY face
With thine expression of unchecked depravity；
Invested with a ghastly reciprocity；
I'VE been responsible for thy monstrosity；
I； for thy wanton； blundering ferocity …
But not again！
'T is time to toll
Thy knell； and that of follies pantomimical：
A nine weeks' run；
And thou hast done
All thou canst do to make thyself inimical。
Adieu； embodiment of all inanity！
Excellent type of simpering insanity！
Unwieldy； clumsy nightmare of humanity！
Freed is thy soul！
（THE MASK RESPONDETH。）
Oh！ master mine；
Look thou within thee； ere again ill…using me。
Art thou aware
Of nothing there
Which might abuse thee； as thou art abusing me？
A brain that mourns THINE unredeemed rascality？
A soul that weeps at THY threadbare morality？
Both grieving that THEIR individuality
Is merged in thine？
Ballad： THE GHOST； THE GALLANT； THE GAEL； AND THE GOBLIN。
O'ER unreclaimed suburban clays
Some years ago were hobblin'
An elderly ghost of easy ways；
And an influential goblin。
The ghost was a sombre spectral shape；
A fine old five…act fogy；
The goblin imp； a lithe young ape；
A fine low…comedy bogy。
And as they exercised their joints；
Promoting quick digestion；
They talked on several curious points；
And raised this delicate question：
〃Which of us two is Number One …
The ghostie； or the goblin？〃
And o'er the point they raised in fun
They fairly fell a…squabblin'。
They'd barely speak； and each； in fine；
Grew more and more reflective：
Each thought his own particular line
By chalks the more effective。
At length they settled some one should
By each of them be haunted；
And so arrange that either could
Exert his prowess vaunted。
〃The Quaint against the Statuesque〃 …
By competition lawful …
The goblin backed the Quaint Grotesque；
The ghost the Grandly Awful。
〃Now；〃 said the goblin； 〃here's my plan …
In attitude commanding；
I see a stalwart Englishman
By yonder tailor's standing。
〃The very fittest man on earth
My influence to try on …
Of gentle； p'r'aps of noble birth；
And dauntless as a lion！
Now wrap yourself within your shroud …
Remain in easy hearing …
Observe … you'll hear him scream aloud
When I begin appearing！
The imp with yell unearthly … wild …
Threw off his dark enclosure：
His dauntless victim looked and smiled
With singular composure。
For hours he tried to daunt the youth；
For days； indeed； but vainly …
The stripling smiled！ … to tell the truth；
The stripling smiled inanely。
For weeks the goblin weird and wild；
That noble stripling haunted；
For weeks the stripling stood and smiled；
Unmoved and all undaunted。
The sombre ghost exclaimed； 〃Your plan
Has failed you； goblin； plainly：
Now watch yon hardy Hieland man；
So stalwart and ungainly。
〃These are the men who chase the roe；
Whose footsteps never falter；
Who bring with them； where'er they go；
A smack of old SIR WALTER。
Of such as he； the men sublime
Who lead their troops victorious；
Whose deeds go down to after…time；
Enshrined in annals glorious！
〃Of such as he the bard has said
'Hech thrawfu' raltie rorkie！
Wi' thecht ta' croonie clapperhead
And fash' wi' unco pawkie！'
He'll faint away when I appear；
Upon his native heather；
Or p'r'aps he'll only scream with fear；
Or p'r'aps the two together。〃
The spectre showed himself； alone；
To do his ghostly battling；
With curdling groan and dismal moan；
And lots of chains a…rattling！
But no … the chiel's stout Gaelic stuff
Withstood all ghostly harrying；
His fingers closed upon the snuff
Which upwards he was carrying。
For days that ghost declined to stir；
A foggy shapeless giant …
For weeks that splendid officer
Stared back again defiant。
Just as the Englishman returned
The goblin's vulgar staring；
Just so the Scotchman boldly spurned
The ghost's unmannered scaring。
For several years the ghostly twain
These Britons bold have haunted；
But all their efforts are in vain …
Their victims stand undaunted。
This very day the imp； and ghost；
Whose powers the imp derided；
Stand each at his allotted post …
The bet is undecided。
Ballad： THE PHANTOM CURATE。 A FABLE。
A BISHOP once … I will not name his see …
Annoyed his clergy in the mode conventional；
From pulpit shackles never set them free；
And found a sin where sin was unintentional。
All pleasures ended in abuse auricular …
The Bishop was so terribly particular。
Though； on the whole； a wise and upright man；
He sought to make of human pleasures clearances；
And form his priests on that much…lauded plan
Which pays undue attention to appearances。
He couldn't do good deeds without a psalm in 'em；
Although； in truth； he bore away the palm in 'em。
Enraged to find a deacon at a dance；
Or catch a curate at some mild frivolity；
He sought by open censure to enhance
Their dread of joining harmless social jollity。
Yet he enjoyed （a fact of notoriety）
The ordinary pleasures of society。
One evening； sitting at a pantomime
（Forbidden treat to those who stood in fear of him）；
Roaring at jokes； SANS metre； sense； or rhyme；
He turned； and saw immediately in rear of him；
His peace of mind upsetting； and annoying it；
A curate； also heartily enjoying it。
Again； 't was Christmas Eve； and to enhance
His children's pleasure in their harmless rollicking；
He； like a good old fellow； stood to dance；
When something checked the current of his frolicking：
That curate； with a maid he treated lover…ly；
Stood up and figured with him in the 〃Coverley！〃
Once； yielding to an universal choice
（The company's demand was an emphatic one；
For the old Bishop had a glorious voice）；
In a quartet he joined … an operatic one。
Harmless enough； though ne'er a word of grace in it；
When； lo！ that curate came and took the bass in it！
One day； when passing through a quiet street；
He stopped awhile and joined a Punch's gathering；
And chuckled more than solemn folk think meet；
To see that gentleman his Judy lathering；
And heard； as Punch was being treated penalty；
That phantom curate laughing all hyaenally。
Now at a picnic； 'mid fair golden curls；
Bright eyes； straw hats； BOTTINES that fit amazingly；
A croquet…bout is planned by all the girls；
And he； consenting； speaks of croquet praisingly；
But suddenly declines to play at all in it …
The curate fiend has come to take a ball in it！
Next； when at quiet sea…side village； freed
From cares episcopal and ties monarc
