old fritz and the new era-第22部分

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〃Sir；　people　are　quite　accustomed　to　see　me　in　a　strange　costume；
and　the　most　of　them　think　me　crazy。〃

〃You　are　aware　that　insane　people　believe　that　they　only　are　sane；
and　that　reasonable　people　are　insane。　You　will　grant　me　that　it　is
much　more　like　a　crazy　person　to　strew　his　hair　with　flour；　and　tie
it　up　in　that　ridiculous　cue；　than　to　wear　it　as　God　made　it；
uncombed　and　unparted；　as　I　do　my　beautiful　hair；　and　for　which　they
call　me　crazy！　But；　for　Heaven's　sake；　where　are　you　going？〃　asked
Goethe；　struggling　to　retain　him。

〃I　am　going　to　trumpet　through　every　street　in　Berlin　that　the
author　of　'Werther；'　of　'Clavigo；'　of　'Gotz　von　Berlichingen；'　of
'Stella；'　of　the　most　beautiful　poems；　is　in　my　humble　apartment。　I
will　call　in　all　the　little　poets　and　savants　of　Berlin；　I　will　drag
Mammler；　Nicolai；　Engel；　Spaulding；　Gedicke；　Plumicke；　Karschin；　and
Burman　here。　They　shall　all　come　to　see　Wolfgang　Goethe；　and　adore
him。　The　insignificant　poets　shall　pay　homage　to　thee；　the　true
poet；　the　favorite　of　Apollo。〃

〃My　dear　Moritz；　if　you　leave　me　for　that；　I　will　run　away；　and　you
will　trouble　yourself　in　vain。〃

〃Impossible；　you　will　be　my　prisoner　until　I　return。　I　shall　lock
you　in；　and　you　cannot　escape　by　the　window；　as　I　fortunately　live
on　the　third　story。〃

〃But　I　shall　not　wait　to　be　looked　in；〃　answered　Goethe；　slightly
annoyed。　〃I　came　to　see　you；　and　if　you　run　away　I　shall　go　also；
and　I　advise　you　not　to　try　to　prevent　me。〃　His　voice　resounded
through　the　apartment；　growing　louder　as　he　spoke；　his　cheeks
flushed；　and　his　high；　commanding　brow　contracted。

〃Jupiter　Tonans！〃　cried　Moritz；　regarding　him；　〃you　are　truly
Jupiter　Tonans　in　person；　and　I　bow　before　you　and　obey　your
command。　I　shall　remain　to　worship　you；　and　gaze　at　you。〃

〃And　it　may　be　possible　to　speak　in　a　reasonable　manner　to　me；〃　said
Goethe；　coaxingly。　〃Away　with　sentimentality　and　odors　of　incense！
We　are　no　sybarites；　to　feed　on　sweet…meats　and　cakes；　but　we　are
men　who　have　a　noble　aim　in　view；　attained　only　by　a　thorny　path。
Our　eyes　must　remain　fixed　upon　the　goal；　and　nothing　must　divert
them　from　it。〃

〃What　is　the　aim　that　we　should　strive　for？〃　asked　Moritz；　his　whole
being　suddenly　changing；　and　his　manner　expressing　the　greatest
depression　and　sadness。

Goethe　smiled。　〃How　can　you　ask；　as　if　you　did　not　know　it　yourself。
Self…knowledge　should　be　our　first　aim！　The　ancient　philosophers
were　wise　to　have　inscribed　over　the　entrances　to　their　temples；
'Know　thyself；'　in　order　to　remind　all　approaching；　to　examine
themselves　before　they　entered　the　halls　of　the　gods。　Is　not　the
human　heart　equally　a　temple？　only　the　demons　and　the　gods　strive
together　therein；　unfortunately。　To　drive　the　former　out；　and　give
place　to　the　latter；　should　be　our　aim；　and　when　once　purified；　and
room　is　given　for　good　deeds　and　great　achievements；　we　shall　not
rest　satisfied　simply　to　conquer；　but　rise　with　gladness　to　build
altars　upon　those　places　which　we　have　freed　from　the　demons；　for
that；　we　must　steadily　keep　in　view　truth　and　reality；　and　not　hide
them　with　a　black　veil；　or　array　them　in　party…colored　rags。　Our
ideas　must　be　clear　about　the　consequences　of　things；　that　we　may
not　be　like　those　foolish　men　who　drink　wine　every　evening　and
complain　of　headache　every　morning；　resorting　to　preventives。〃

Did　Goethe　know　the　struggles　and　dissensions　which　rent　the　heart
of　the　young　man　to　whom　he　spoke？　Had　his　searching　eyes　read　the
secrets　which　were　hidden　in　that　darkened　soul？　He　regarded　him　as
he　spoke　with　so　much　commiseration　that　Moritz's　heart　softened
under　the　genial　influence　of　sympathy　and　kindness。　A　convulsive
trembling　seized　him；　his　cheeks　were　burning　red；　and　his　features
expressed　the　struggle　within。　Suddenly　he　burst　into　tears。　〃I　am
very；　very　wretched；〃　he　sighed；　with　a　voice　suffocated　by　weeping；
and　sank　upon　a　chair；　sobbing　aloud；　and　covering　his　face　with　his
hands。

Goethe　approached　him；　and　laid　his　hand　gently　upon　his　shoulder。
〃Why　are　you　so　miserable？　Is　there　any　human　being　who　can　help
you？〃　he　kindly　inquired。

〃Yes；〃　sobbed　Moritz；　〃there　are　those　who　could；　but　they　will　not；
and　I　am　lost。　I　stand　upon　the　brink　of　a　precipice；　with　Insanity
staring　at　me；　grinning　and　showing　her　teeth。　I　know　it；　but　cannot
retreat。　I　wear　the　mask　of　madness　to　conceal　my　careworn　face。
Your　divine　eyes　could　not　be　deceived。　You　have　not　mistaken　the
caricature　for　the　true　face。　You　have　penetrated　beneath　the　gay
tatters；　and　have　seen　the　misery　which　sought　to　hide　itself
there。〃

〃I　saw　it；　and　I　bewailed　it；　as　a　friend　pities　a　friend　whom　he
would　willingly　aid　if　he　only　knew　how　to　do　it。〃

〃No　one　can　help　me；〃　sighed　Moritz；　shaking　his　head　mournfully。　〃I
am　lost；　irremediably　lost！〃

〃No　one　is　lost　who　will　save　himself。　He　who　is　wrecked　by　a　storm
and　tossed　upon　the　raging　sea；　ought　to　be　upon　the　watch　for　a
plank　by　which　he　can　save　himself。　He　must　keep　his　eyes　open；　and
not　let　his　arms　hang　idly；　for　if　he　allows　himself　to　be　swallowed
up　he　becomes　a　self…murderer；　who；　like　Erostratus；　destroyed　the
holy　temple；　and　gained　eternal　fame　through　eternal　shame。〃

〃What　are　you　saying？〃　cried　Moritz；　〃you；　the　author　of　'Werther；'
of　that　immortal　work　which　has　drunk　the　tears　of　the　whole　world；
and　has　become　the　Holy　Testament　for　unhappy　souls！〃

〃Rather　say　for　lovers；〃　replied　Goethe；　〃and　add　also　those
troubled　spirits　who　think　themselves　poetical　when　they　whine　and
howl；　who　cry　over　misfortune　if　Fate　denies　them　the　toy　which
their　vanity；　their　ambition；　or　their　amorousness；　had　chosen。　Do
not　burden　me　with　what　I　am　not　guilty　of；　do　not　say　that　wine　is
a　poison；　because　it　is　not　good　for　the　sick。　It　is　intended　for
well　people；　it　animates　and　inspires　them　to　fresh　vigor。　Now
please　to　consider　yourself　well；　and　not　ill。〃

〃I　am　ill；　indeed　I　am　ill；〃　sighed　Moritz。　〃Oh！　continue　to　regard
me　with　those　eyes；　which　shine　like　stars　into　my　benighted　soul。　I
feel　like　one　who　has　long　wandered　through　the　desert；　his　feet
burnt　with　the　sand；　his　hair　scorched　with　the　sun；　and；　exhausted
with　hunger　and　thirst；　feels　death　approaching。　Suddenly　he
discovers　a　green　oasis；　and　a　being　with　outstretched　arms　calling
to　him　with　a　soft；　angel…like　voice：　'Come；　save　thyself　in　my
arms；　feel　that　thou　art　not　alone　in　the　desert；　for　I　am　with
thee；　and　will　sustain　thee！'〃

〃And　I　say　it　to　you　from　the　bottom　of　my　heart；〃　said　Goethe；
affectionately。　〃Yes；　here　is　one；　who　is　only　too　happy　to　aid　you；
who　can　sympathize　with　every　sorrow；　because　he　has　himself　felt　it
in　his　own　breast；　who　may　even　say　of　himself；　like　Ovid：　'Nothing
human　is　strange　to　me。'　If　I　can　aid　you；　say　so；　and　I　will
willingly　do　it。〃

〃No；　you　cannot；〃　murmured　Moritz。

〃At　least　confide　your　grief　to　me；　that　is　an　alleviation。〃

〃Oh；　how　kind　and　generous　you　are！〃　Moritz　said；　pressing　the　hand
of　his　new…made　friend　to　his　bosom。　〃How　much　good　it　does　me　to
listen　to　you；　and　look　at　your　beautiful　face！　I　believed　myself
steeled　against　every　thing　that　could　happen　to　mortals；　that　the
fool　which　I　would　be　had　killed　within　me　the　higher　man。　I　was
almost　proud　to　have　succeeded　in　deceiving　men；　that　they　mistook
my　grotesque　mask　for　my　real　face；　that　they　point　the　finger　at
me；　and　laugh；　saying　to　each　other：　'That　is　a　fool；　an　original；
whom　Nature　herself　has　chosen　as　a　kind　of　court　fool　to　society。'
No　one　has　understood　the　cry　of　distress　of　my　soul。　Those　who
laughed　at　the　comical　fellow　by　day；　little　dreamed　of　the　anguish
and　misery　in　which　he　sighed　away　the　night。〃

〃You　not　only　wrong　yourself；　but　you　wrong　mankind；〃　said　Goethe；
kindly。　〃In　the　world；　and　in　literature；　you　bear　an　honored　name；
every　one　of　education　is　familiar　with　your　excellent　work　on
'Prosody　of　the　German　Language'has　read　also　your　spirited
Journey　to　England。　You　have　no　right　to　ask　that　one　should
separate　the　kernel　from　the　shell　in　hastily　passing　by。　If　you
surround　yourself　with　a　wall　bedaubed　with　caricatures；　you　cannot
expect　that　people　will　look　behind　what　seems　an　entrance　to　a
puppet…show；　to　find　holy　temples；　blooming　gardens；　or　a　church…
yard　filled　with　graves。〃

〃That　is　just　what　I　resemble；〃　said　Moritz；　with　a　melancholy　air。
〃From　the　depths　of　my　soul　it　seems　so。　Nothing　but　buried　hopes；
murdered　ideals；　and　wishes　trodden　under　foot。　From　childhood　I
have　exerted　myself　against　circumstances；　I　have　striven　my　whole
lifea　pledge　of　my　being　against　unpropitious　Fate。　Although　the
son　of　a　poor　tradesman；　Nature　had　given　me　a　thirst　for　knowledge；
a　love　for　science　and　art。　On　account　of　it　I　passed　for　a　stupid
idler　in　the　family；　who　would　not　contribute　to　his　own　support。
Occupation　with　books　was　accounted　idleness　and　laziness　by　my
father。　I　was　driven　to　work　with　blows　and　ill…treatment；　and；　that
I　might　the　sooner　equal　my　father　as　a　good　shoemaker；　I　was　bound
to　the　stool　near　his　own。　During　the　long；　fearful　days　I　was
forced　to　sit　and　draw　the　pitched；　offensive　thread　through　the
leather；　and　when　my　arms　were　lame；　and　sank　weary　at　my　side；　then
I　was　invigorated　to　renewed　exertion　with　blows。　Finally；　with　the
courage　of　despair；　I　fled　from　this　life　of　torture。　Unacquainted
with　the　world；　and　inexperienced；　I　hoped　for　the　sympathy　of　men；
but　in　vain。　No　one　would　relieve　or　assist　me！　Days　and　weeks　long
I　have　wandered　around　in　the　forest　adjoining　our　little　village；
and　lived　like　the　animals；　upon　roots　and　herbs。　Yet　I　was　happy！　I
had　taken　with　me　in　my　flight　two　books　which　I　had　received　as
prizes；　in　the　happy　days　that　my　father　permitted　me　to　go　to　the
Latin　school。　The　decision　of　the　teacher　that　I　was　created　for　a
scholar；　so　terrified　my　father；　that　he　took　me　from　the　school；　to
turn　the　embryo　savant；　who　would　be　good　for　nothing；　into　a
shoemaker；　who　might　earn　his　bread。　My　two　darling　books　remained
to　me。　In　the　forest　solitude　I　read　Ovid　and　Virgil　until　I　had
memorized　them；　and　recited　them　aloud；　in　path