old fritz and the new era-第45部分

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went　forth　to　her。　She　sat　sideways　to　the　door；　upon　a　table　lay
her　notes；　and　the　guitar　rested　upon　her　arm。　She　sang；　in　a　rich；
sweet　voice；　Reinhardt's　beautiful　melody：

〃I'd　rather　fight　my　way　through　sorrows
Than　bear　so　many　joys　in　life；
All　this　affinity　of　heart　to　heart；
How　strangely　it　causes　us　to　suffer！〃

She　ceased；　as　if　overpowered　with　her　own　thoughts；　the　guitar　sank
upon　her　lap；　and　her　fingers　glided　over　the　chords；　so　that　the
tones　died　away　imperceptibly。　Her　deep…blue　eyes　gazed　pensively　in
the　distance；　and　the　sweet　lips　repeated　softly；　〃How　strangely　it
causes　us　to　suffer！〃　Near　the　garden　entrance；　through　which　the
odor　of　sweet　flowers　and　the　song　of　birds　was　wafted　with　every
gentle　zephyr；　stood　Goethe；　looking　at　the　woman　whom　he　had　so
passionately　loved　for　three　years；　so　absorbingly；　that　to　her　were
consecrated　all　his　thoughts。

He　could　contain　himself　no　longer；　he　rushed　forward　and　threw
himself　at　her　feet。　〃Oh；　Charlotte；　I　love　you；　only　you；　and　once
more　I　am　by　your　side！〃

A　shriek！　was　it　a　cry　of　surprise　or　delight？　Who　let　the　guitar
fall　to　the　floor；　he　or　she？　Who　embraced　the　other　in　affectionate
haste；　he　or　she？　Who　pressed　the　lips　so　lovingly　to　the　other
lips；　he　or　she？　And　who　said；　〃I　love　you？　What　bliss　to　again
repose　in　your　affection；　I　would　fain　die　now。　In　this　moment　a
whole　life　has　been　consecrated；　for　love　has　revealed　to　us　our
other　self。〃

She　sat　upon　the　tabouret；　and　Goethe　still　knelt　before　her；
clasping　her　feet　and　pressing　them　to　his　bosom。　His　eyes　beamed
with　inexpressible　delight　as　he　regarded　the　face；　usually　so　calm
and　indifferenttoday　glowing　as　sunrise。

〃Oh；　tell　me；　Charlotte；　have　you　thought　of　me？　But　rather　speak　to
me　with　your　eyes；　and　may　they　be　more　than　the　cruel　lips　which
refuse　to　confess。　Oh；　shade　not　those　loved　orbs；　which　are　my
stars　shining　upon　me；　whithersoever　I　wander。　They　are　my　light；　my
spring…time；　and　my　love。　They　will　never　cease　to　beam　upon　me；　as
light　and　love　never　grow　old。　Let　me　read　eternal　youth　in　those
eyes；　and　the　secrets　which　rest　as　pearls　in　the　depths　of　your
heart。　Only　tell　me；　is　the　pearl　of　love　to　be　found　there；　and　is
it　mine？〃

〃It　would　be　a　misfortune　if　it　were　there；〃　she　whispered；　with　a
sweet　smile。　〃Pearls　are　the　result　of　a　malady；　and　my　heart　would
be　ill　if　the　pearl　of　love　were　found　there。　No；　no；　rise；　Wolf；
dear　Wolf；　we　have　given　away　at　the　first　moment　of　meeting；　let　us
now　be　reasonable；　and　speak　in　a　dignified　manner　with　each　other；
as　it　becomes　a　married　woman　and　her　friend。〃

〃Friend？〃　repeated　Goethe；　impetuously；　〃forever　must　I　listen　to
this　hated；　hypocritical　word；　which；　like　a　priest's　robe；　shall
cover　the　sacred　glow　in　my　heart？　I　have　told　you；　Charlotte；　that
I　am　not　your　friend；　and　I　never　shall　be。　There　is　not　the　least
spark　of　this　still；　calm　fire　of　the　earthly　moderation　in　me；　by
which　one　could　cook　his　potatoes；　or　his　daily　vegetables；　but　by
which　one　could　never　prepare　food　for　the　gods；　or　that　which　could
refresh　a　poet's　heart　or　quicken　his　soul。　No；　in　me　burns　the　fire
which　Prometheus　stole　from　the　gods；　originating　in　heaven　and
glowing　upon　earth。　This　heavenly　and　earthly　love　unites　in　one
flame。　Again；　I　say；　Charlotte；　banish　this　hypocritical　word
'friendship！'　It　is　only　love　which　I　feel　for　you；　let　this
sentiment　enter　at　every　avenue　of　your　heart；　and　do　not　feign
ignorance　of　it；　sweet　hypocrite。　Surprise　has　torn　away　the　mask！
The　passionate　kiss；　which　still　burns　upon　my　lips；　was　not　given
by　a　friend　or　sister；　but　overcome　by　joy；　the　truth　has　been
acknowledged！〃

〃Do　you　wish　that　the　kiss　of　meeting　should　be　that　of　parting
also？〃　said　Charlotte；　sadly；　as　she　raised　her　blue　eyes　with　a
languishing　look　to　the　handsome；　ardent　face　of　the　man　who　stood
before　her。　〃Do　you　wish　to　separate　forever？　I　must　recall　to　you
our　last　conversation：　'Only　when　you　are　resolved　to　moderate　this
impetuous　manner；　and　curb　this　overflow　of　feeling；　which　reason
and　custom　imposes　upon　us；　shall　I　be　able　to　receive　you　and　enjoy
your　society。'〃

〃Yes；　with　these　unmeaning　phrases　you　banished　me。　Cruel　and　hard…
hearted　were　you　to　the　last。　Oh；　Charlotte！　you　know　what　I
suffered　at　our　last　walk；　with　your　reasoning　remonstrances　and
cold…hearted　reproaches；　they　pierced　my　heart　like　poisoned　arrows。
If　the　duke　and　duchess　had　not　been　walking　before　us；　I　should
have　wept　myself　weary。　My　whole　being　cried　within　me：　'Oh！　cruel
and　inexorable　woman；　to　beg　of　me；　who　so　unutterably　loves　her；　to
call　her　friend　and　sister！'　I　repeated　the　words　daily　during　my
absence；　and　sought　to　clothe　your　beloved　image　with　meaning。　They
disfigured　you；　and　the　angel　whom　I　adore　was　no　longer
recognizable。　I　cannot　call　you　friend　or　sister。〃

〃Then　I　can　be　nothing　to　you；　dear　Wolfgang；〃　sighed　Charlotte。　〃In
this　hour　of　meeting　we　will　part；　and　to　avoid　a　chance　encounter
even；　I　will　go　to　my　husband　at　Kochberg；　and　remain　there　the
whole　summer。〃

Goethe　seized　her；　holding　her　fast　in　his　strong　arms；　staring　her
in　the　face　with　a　fierce；　angry　look。　〃Are　you　in　earnest？　Would
you　really　do　it？〃

〃Goethe；　I　beg　you　to　loosen　your　hold；　you　hurt　my　arms。〃

〃Do　you　not　also　hurt　me？　With　your　cold　indifference　do　you　not
pierce　my　heart　with　red…hot　daggers；　and　then　smile　and　rejoice　at
my　torture；　which　is　a　proof　to　you　of　my　unbounded　love？　While　you
only　play　with　me；　and　attach　me　to　your　triumphal　car；　to　display
to　the　world　that　you　have　succeeded　in　taming　the　lion；　and　have
changed　him　into　a　good…natured　domestic　animal。　Go！　you　do　not
deserve　that　I　should　love　you；　cold…hearted；　cruel　woman！〃

He　threw　her　arms　from　him；　with　tears　in　his　eyes。　Charlotte　von
Stein　regarded　him　with　anger　and　indifference。

〃Farewell；　secretary　of　legation。　It　seems　to　please　you　to　insult
and　offend　a　poor　woman；　who　has　no　other　protection　than　her　honor
and　virtue。　Farewell！　I　will　not　expose　myself　to　such　offences；
therefore　I　will　retire。〃

She　turned　slowly　toward　the　door；　but　Goethe　bounded　forward　like　a
tiger；　interrupted　her　path；　falling　upon　his　knees；　imploring　pity
and　begging　for　pardon。　〃Oh；　Charlotte；　I　will　be　gentle　as　a　child；
I　will　be　reserved；　I　know　that　I　am　a　sinner！　It　is　warring　against
one's　own　heart　to　seek　comfort　in　offending　what　is　dearest　to　it
in　a　moment　of　ill…humor。　But　I　have　again　become　a　child；　with　all
my　thoughts；　scarcely　recognizable　for　the　moment；　quite　lost　to
myself；　as　I　consent　to　the　conditions　of　others　with　this　fire
raging　within　me。　Oh；　beloved　Charlotte；　forgive　me！　I　submit　to　all
that　you　wish。〃　＇Footnote：　Goethe's　words。See　〃Letters　to
Charlotte　yon　Stein；〃　roll。；　p。　358。＇

〃Will　you　be　satisfied　to　love　me　as　your　friend　and　sister？〃

〃I　will　be；〃　he　sighed。　〃Only　in　the　future　you　must　endeavor　to
persuade　yourself　into　such　a　sisterly　way　that　you　will　be
indulgent　to　my　rudeness；　otherwise　I　shall　have　to　avoid　you　when　I
need　you　most。　Oh；　Charlotte；　it　seems　terrible　to　me　that　I　should
mar　through　anguish　the　best　hours　of　my　life；　the　blissful　moments
of　meeting　with　you；　for　whom　I　would　pluck　every　hair　from　my　head
if　it　would　make　you　happy。　And　yet　to　be　so　blind；　so　hardened！
Have　pity　upon　me。　Again　I　promise　you　that　I　will　be　reasonable。　Do
not　banish　me　from　your　presence。　Extend　to　me　your　hand；　and
promise　me　that　you　will　be　my　friend　and　sister！〃　＇Footnote：
Goethe's　words。See　〃Letters　to　Charlotte　von　Stein；〃　roll。；　p。
358。＇

〃Then　here　is　my　hand；〃　said　she；　with　a　charming　smile。

〃I　will　be　your　friend　and　sister；　and〃

〃What　now；　my　Charlotte？　do　finishwhat　is　it？〃

She　laid　her　hand　gently　upon　his　shoulder；　and　her　words　fell　on
his　ear　like　soft　music。　〃When　my　dear　friend　and　much…beloved
brother　has　conducted　himself　very　prudently　for　two　or　three　happy
weeks；　I　will　send　him　a　ringlet　of　my　hair；　which　he　has　so　long
begged　for；　and　a　kiss　with　it。〃

Goethe　spoke　not；　but　pressed　her　blushing　face　to　his　bosom；　and
laid　his　hand　gently　upon　her　head。　A　smile　of　delightof　perfect
happinessplayed　around　his　lips。




CHAPTER　XXII。

THE　READING。


This　happy　smile　still　beamed　upon　Goethe's　face　as　he　walked　with
the　duke　late　in　the　evening　toward　Belvedere　to　soiree　of　the
Duchess　Amelia；　who　was　inspired　with　a　love　for　the　fine　arts；　and
particularly　literature。　The　two　gentlemen　had　busily　occupied
themselves　in　preparing　them　for　the　lady　of　honor；　Fraulein　von
Gochhausen；　and；　although　aided　by　Goethe's　servant；　Philip；　and
workmen；　it　was　late　when　they　arrived。

As　they　entered；　the　ladies　and　gentlemen　were　seated　in　a　large
circle　around　the　centre…table。　At　one　end　sat　the　Duchesses　Amelia
and　Louisa；　the　mother　and　wife　of　Charles　Augustus　and　near　the
former　her　friend　and　favorite　the　poet　Wieland；　once　the　tutor　of
her　son　the　duke。　Near　the　poet　sat　an　elderly　gentleman　of
cheerful；　good…natured　mien；　who；　with　the　exception　of　Wieland；　was
the　only　one　who　did　not　present　himself；　like　the　duke　and　Goethe；
in　Werther　costume。　He　wore　a　white；　silver…embroidered　coat；　with　a
dark…blue　satin　vest；　and　breeches　of　the　same；　shoes　with　buckles；
and　bosom　and　wrist　ruffles　of　lace。

This　gentleman；　with　the　bright；　sparkling　eyes；　and　pleasant　face；
was　the　poet　Gleim；　who　looked　very　comfortable　and　stately　in　the
circle　of　powdered　perukes。　His　admiration　for　Frederick　the　Great
had　inspired　him　to　write　some　beautiful　military　songs；　and　his
love　of　poetry　and　literature　made　him　an　enthusiastic　admirer　of
all　those　devoted　themselves　to　literary　pursuits。　Besides；　he　was
rich　and　liberal；　and　it　was　very　natural　that　the　poets；　and
authors　exerted　themselves　with　marked　assiduity　to　please　Father
Gleim。　They　were　gratified　to　have　him　print　their　works　for　a　small
remuneration　in　an　annual　which　he　entitled　the　〃Almanach　of　the
Muses。〃　He　was　just　reading　aloud　at　the　duchess's　soiree　from　the
late　edition　of　the　almanach；　and　the　society　listened　with　earnest
and　kind　attenti