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denial；　though　in　an　altogether　different　sphere　of　life。　　Like

the　great　King　Arthur；　he　was　emphatically　a　man　who　〃forbore　his

own　advantage。〃　　He　was　characterised　throughout　his　whole　career

by　his　noble　unselfishness。　　Though　he　might　personally　disapprove

of　the　policy　he　was　occasionally　ordered　to　carry　out；　he　never

once　faltered　in　the　path　of　duty。　　Thus　he　did　not　approve　of　the

policy　of　invading　Scinde；　yet　his　services　throughout　the

campaign　were　acknowledged　by　General　Sir　C。　Napier　to　have　been

of　the　most　brilliant　character。　　But　when　the　war　was　over；　and

the　rich　spoils　of　Scinde　lay　at　the　conqueror's　feet；　Outram

said：　〃I　disapprove　of　the　policy　of　this　warI　will　accept　no

share　of　the　prize…money！〃



Not　less　marked　was　his　generous　self…denial　when　despatched　with

a　strong　force　to　aid　Havelock　in　fighting　his　way　to　Lucknow。　　As

superior　officer；　he　was　entitled　to　take　upon　himself　the　chief

command；　but；　recognising　what　Havelock　had　already　done；　with

rare　disinterestedness；　he　left　to　his　junior　officer　the　glory　of

completing　the　campaign；　offering　to　serve　under　him　as　a

volunteer。　　〃With　such　reputation；〃　said　Lord　Clyde；　〃as　Major…

General　Outram　has　won　for　himself；　he　can　afford　to　share　glory

and　honour　with　others。　　But　that　does　not　lessen　the　value　of　the

sacrifice　he　has　made　with　such　disinterested　generosity。〃



If　a　man　would　get　through　life　honourably　and　peaceably；　he　must

necessarily　learn　to　practise　self…denial　in　small　things　as　well

as　great。　　Men　have　to　bear　as　well　as　forbear。　　The　temper　has　to

be　held　in　subjection　to　the　judgment；　and　the　little　demons　of

ill…humour；　petulance；　and　sarcasm；　kept　resolutely　at　a　distance。

If　once　they　find　an　entrance　to　the　mind；　they　are　very　apt

to　return；　and　to　establish　for　themselves　a　permanent

occupation　there。



It　is　necessary　to　one's　personal　happiness；　to　exercise　control

over　one's　words　as　well　as　acts：　for　there　are　words　that　strike

even　harder　than　blows；　and　men　may　〃speak　daggers；〃　though　they

use　none。　　〃UN　COUP　DE　LANGUE；〃　says　the　French　proverb；　〃EST　PIRE

QU'UN　COUP　DE　LANCE。〃　　The　stinging　repartee　that　rises　to　the

lips；　and　which；　if　uttered；　might　cover　an　adversary　with

confusion；　how　difficult　it　sometimes　is　to　resist　saying　it！

〃Heaven　keep　us；〃　says　Miss　Bremer　in　her　'Home；'　〃from　the

destroying　power　of　words！　　There　are　words　which　sever　hearts

more　than　sharp　swords　do；　there　are　words　the　point　of　which

sting　the　heart　through　the　course　of　a　whole　life。〃



Thus　character　exhibits　itself　in　self…control　of　speech　as　much

as　in　anything　else。　　The　wise　and　forbearant　man　will　restrain

his　desire　to　say　a　smart　or　severe　thing　at　the　expense　of

another's　feelings；　while　the　fool　blurts　out　what　he　thinks；　and

will　sacrifice　his　friend　rather　than　his　joke。　　〃The　mouth　of　a

wise　man；〃　said　Solomon；　〃is　in　his　heart；　the　heart　of　a　fool　is

in　his　mouth。〃



There　are；　however；　men　who　are　no　fools；　that　are　headlong　in

their　language　as　in　their　acts；　because　of　their　want　of

forbearance　and　self…restraining　patience。　　The　impulsive　genius；

gifted　with　quick　thought　and　incisive　speechperhaps　carried

away　by　the　cheers　of　the　momentlets　fly　a　sarcastic　sentence

which　may　return　upon　him　to　his　own　infinite　damage。　　Even

statesmen　might　be　named；　who　have　failed　through　their　inability

to　resist　the　temptation　of　saying　clever　and　spiteful　things　at

their　adversary's　expense。　　〃The　turn　of　a　sentence；〃　says

Bentham；　〃has　decided　the　fate　of　many　a　friendship；　and；　for

aught　that　we　know；　the　fate　of　many　a　kingdom。〃　　So；　when　one　is

tempted　to　write　a　clever　but　harsh　thing；　though　it　may　be

difficult　to　restrain　it；　it　is　always　better　to　leave　it　in　the

inkstand。　　〃A　goose's　quill；〃　says　the　Spanish　proverb；　〃often

hurts　more　than　a　lion's　claw。〃



Carlyle　says；　when　speaking　of　Oliver　Cromwell；　〃He　that　cannot

withal　keep　his　mind　to　himself；　cannot　practise　any　considerable

thing　whatsoever。〃　　It　was　said　of　William　the　Silent；　by　one　of

his　greatest　enemies；　that　an　arrogant　or　indiscreet　word　was

never　known　to　fall　from　his　lips。　　Like　him；　Washington　was

discretion　itself　in　the　use　of　speech；　never　taking　advantage　of

an　opponent；　or　seeking　a　shortlived　triumph　in　a　debate。　　And　it

is　said　that　in　the　long　run；　the　world　comes　round　to　and

supports　the　wise　man　who　knows　when　and　how　to　be　silent。



We　have　heard　men　of　great　experience　say　that　they　have　often

regretted　having　spoken；　but　never　once　regretted　holding　their

tongue。　　〃Be　silent；〃　says　Pythagoras；　〃or　say　something　better

than　silence。〃　　〃Speak　fitly；〃　says　George　Herbert；　〃or　be　silent

wisely。〃　　St。　Francis　de　Sales；　whom　Leigh　Hunt　styled　〃the

Gentleman　Saint；〃　has　said：　〃It　is　better　to　remain　silent　than　to

speak　the　truth　ill…humouredly；　and　so　spoil　an　excellent　dish　by

covering　it　with　bad　sauce。〃　　Another　Frenchman；　Lacordaire；

characteristically　puts　speech　first；　and　silence　next。　　〃After

speech；〃　he　says；　〃silence　is　the　greatest　power　in　the　world。〃

Yet　a　word　spoken　in　season；　how　powerful　it　may　be！　　As　the

old　Welsh　proverb　has　it；　〃A　golden　tongue　is　in　the　mouth

of　the　blessed。〃



It　is　related；　as　a　remarkable　instance　of　self…control　on　the

part　of　De　Leon；　a　distinguished　Spanish　poet　of　the　sixteenth

century；　who　lay　for　years　in　the　dungeons　of　the　Inquisition

without　light　or　society；　because　of　his　having　translated　a　part

of　the　Scriptures　into　his　native　tongue；　that　on　being　liberated

and　restored　to　his　professorship；　an　immense　crowd　attended　his

first　lecture；　expecting　some　account　of　his　long　imprisonment；

but　Do　Leon　was　too　wise　and　too　gentle　to　indulge　in

recrimination。　　He　merely　resumed　the　lecture　which；　five　years

before；　had　been　so　sadly　interrupted；　with　the　accustomed　formula

〃HERI　DICEBAMUS；〃　and　went　directly　into　his　subject。



There　are；　of　course；　times　and　occasions　when　the　expression　of

indignation　is　not　only　justifiable　but　necessary。　　We　are　bound

to　be　indignant　at　falsehood；　selfishness；　and　cruelty。　　A　man　of

true　feeling　fires　up　naturally　at　baseness　or　meanness　of　any

sort；　even　in　cases　where　he　may　be　under　no　obligation　to　speak

out。　　〃I　would　have　nothing　to　do；〃　said　Perthes；　〃with　the　man

who　cannot　be　moved　to　indignation。　　There　are　more　good　people

than　bad　in　the　world；　and　the　bad　get　the　upper　hand　merely

because　they　are　bolder。　　We　cannot　help　being　pleased　with　a　man

who　uses　his　powers　with　decision；　and　we　often　take　his　side　for

no　other　reason　than　because　he　does　so　use　them。　　No　doubt；　I

have　often　repented　speaking；　but　not　less　often　have　I　repented

keeping　silence。〃　（8）



One　who　loves　right　cannot　be　indifferent　to　wrong；　or　wrongdoing。

If　he　feels　warmly；　he　will　speak　warmly；　out　of　the　fulness　of

his　heart。　　As　a　noble　lady　（9）　has　written：



　　　　　　〃A　noble　heart　doth　teach　a　virtuous　scorn

　　　　　　To　scorn　to　owe　a　duty　overlong；

　　　　　　To　scorn　to　be　for　benefits　forborne；

　　　　　　To　scorn　to　lie；　to　scorn　to　do　a　wrong；

　　　　　　To　scorn　to　bear　an　injury　in　mind；

　　　　　　To　scorn　a　freeborn　heart　slave…like　to　bind。〃



We　have；　however；　to　be　on　our　guard　against　impatient　scorn。　　The

best　people　are　apt　to　have　their　impatient　side；　and　often；　the

very　temper　which　makes　men　earnest；　makes　them　also　intolerant。

（10）　　〃Of　all　mental　gifts；〃　says　Miss　Julia　Wedgwood；　〃the　rarest

is　intellectual　patience；　and　the　last　lesson　of　culture　is　to

believe　in　difficulties　which　are　invisible　to　ourselves。〃



The　best　corrective　of　intolerance　in　disposition；　is　increase　of

wisdom　and　enlarged　experience　of　life。　　Cultivated　good　sense

will　usually　save　men　from　the　entanglements　in　which　moral

impatience　is　apt　to　involve　them；　good　sense　consisting　chiefly

in　that　temper　of　mind　which　enables　its　possessor　to　deal　with

the　practical　affairs　of　life　with　justice；　judgment；　discretion；

and　charity。　　Hence　men　of　culture　and　experience　are　invariably；

found　the　most　forbearant　and　tolerant；　as　ignorant　and

narrowminded　persons　are　found　the　most　unforgiving　and

intolerant。　　Men　of　large　and　generous　natures；　in　proportion　to

their　practical　wisdom；　are　disposed　to　make　allowance　for　the

defects　and　disadvantages　of　othersallowance　for　the

controlling　power　of　circumstances　in　the　formation　of　character；

and　the　limited　power　of　resistance　of　weak　and　fallible　natures

to　temptation　and　error。　　〃I　see　no　fault　committed；〃　said　Goethe；

〃which　I　also　might　not　have　committed。〃　　So　a　wise　and　good　man

exclaimed；　when　he　saw　a　criminal　drawn　on　his　hurdle　to　Tyburn：

〃There　goes　Jonathan　Bradfordbut　for　the　grace　of　God！〃



Life　will　always　be；　to　a　great　extent；　what　we　ourselves　make　it。

The　cheerful　man　makes　a　cheerful　world；　the　gloomy　man　a　gloomy

one。　　We　usually　find　but　our　own　temperament　reflected　in　the

dispositions　of　those　about　us。　　If　we　are　ourselves　querulous；　we

will　find　them　so；　if　we　are　unforgiving　and　uncharitable　to　them；

they　will　be　the　same　to　us。　　A　person　returning　from　an　evening

party　not　long　ago；　complained　to　a　policeman　on　his　beat　that　an

ill…looking　fellow　was　following　him：　it　turned　out　to　be　only　his

own　shadow！　And　such　usually　is　human　life　to　each　of　us；　it　is；

for　the　most　part；　but　the　reflection　of　ourselves。



If　we　would　be　at　peace　with　others；　and　ensure　their　respect；　we

must　have　regard　for　their　personality。　　Every　man　has　his

peculiarities　of　manner　and　character；　as　he　has　peculiarities　of

form　and　feature；　and　we　must　have　forbearance　in　dealing　with

them；　as　we　expect　them　to　have　forbearance　in　dealing　with　us。

We　may　not　be　conscious　of　our　own　peculiarities；　yet　they　exist

nevertheless。　　There　is　a　village　in　South　America　where　gotos　or

goitres　are　so　common　that　to　be　without　one　is　regarded　as　a

deformity。　　One　day