character-第58部分
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of idleness。 Her children arise up and call her blessed; her
husband also; and he praiseth her。〃PROVERBS OF SOLOMON。
THE character of men; as of women; is powerfully influenced by
their companionship in all the stages of life。 We have already
spoken of the influence of the mother in forming the character of
her children。 She makes the moral atmosphere in which they live;
and by which their minds and souls are nourished; as their bodies
are by the physical atmosphere they breathe。 And while woman is
the natural cherisher of infancy and the instructor of childhood;
she is also the guide and counsellor of youth; and the confidant
and companion of manhood; in her various relations of mother;
sister; lover; and wife。 In short; the influence of woman more or
less affects; for good or for evil; the entire destinies of man。
The respective social functions and duties of men and women are
clearly defined by nature。 God created man AND woman; each to do
their proper work; each to fill their proper sphere。 Neither can
occupy the position; nor perform the functions; of the other。
Their several vocations are perfectly distinct。 Woman exists on
her own account; as man does on his; at the same time that each
has intimate relations with the other。 Humanity needs both for
the purposes of the race; and in every consideration of social
progress both must necessarily be included。
Though companions and equals; yet; as regards the measure of their
powers; they are unequal。 Man is stronger; more muscular; and of
rougher fibre; woman is more delicate; sensitive; and nervous。
The one excels in power of brain; the other in qualities of heart;
and though the head may rule; it is the heart that influences。
Both are alike adapted for the respective functions they have to
perform in life; and to attempt to impose woman's work upon man
would be quite as absurd as to attempt to impose man's work upon
woman。 Men are sometimes womanlike; and women are sometimes
manlike; but these are only exceptions which prove the rule。
Although man's qualities belong more to the head; and woman's more
to the heartyet it is not less necessary that man's heart
should be cultivated as well as his head; and woman's head
cultivated as well as her heart。 A heartless man is as much out…
of…keeping in civilized society as a stupid and unintelligent
woman。 The cultivation of all parts of the moral and intellectual
nature is requisite to form the man or woman of healthy and well…
balanced character。 Without sympathy or consideration for others;
man were a poor; stunted; sordid; selfish being; and without
cultivated intelligence; the most beautiful woman were little
better than a well…dressed doll。
It used to be a favourite notion about woman; that her weakness
and dependency upon others constituted her principal claim to
admiration。 〃If we were to form an image of dignity in a man;〃
said Sir Richard Steele; 〃we should give him wisdom and valour; as
being essential to the character of manhood。 In like manner; if
you describe a right woman in a laudable sense; she should have
gentle softness; tender fear; and all those parts of life which
distinguish her from the other sex; with some subordination to it;
but an inferiority which makes her lovely。〃 Thus; her weakness
was to be cultivated; rather than her strength; her folly; rather
than her wisdom。 She was to be a weak; fearful; tearful;
characterless; inferior creature; with just sense enough to
understand the soft nothings addressed to her by the 〃superior〃
sex。 She was to be educated as an ornamental appanage of man;
rather as an independent intelligenceor as a wife; mother;
companion; or friend。
Pope; in one of his 'Moral Essays;' asserts that 〃most women have
no characters at all;〃 and again he says:…
〃Ladies; like variegated tulips; show:
'Tis to their changes half their charms we owe;
Fine by defect and delicately weak。〃
This satire characteristically occurs in the poet's 'Epistle to
Martha Blount;' the housekeeper who so tyrannically ruled him; and
in the same verses he spitefully girds at Lady Mary Wortley
Montague; at whose feet he had thrown himself as a lover; and been
contemptuously rejected。 But Pope was no judge of women; nor was
he even a very wise or tolerant judge of men。
It is still too much the practice to cultivate the weakness of
woman rather than her strength; and to render her attractive
rather than self…reliant。 Her sensibilities are developed at the
expense of her health of body as well as of mind。 She lives;
moves; and has her being in the sympathy of others。 She dresses
that she may attract; and is burdened with accomplishments that
she may be chosen。 Weak; trembling; and dependent; she incurs the
risk of becoming a living embodiment of the Italian proverb〃so
good that she is good for nothing。〃
On the other hand; the education of young men too often errs on
the side of selfishness。 While the boy is incited to trust mainly
to his own efforts in pushing his way in the world; the girl is
encouraged to rely almost entirely upon others。 He is educated
with too exclusive reference to himself and she is educated with
too exclusive reference to him。 He is taught to be self…reliant
and self…dependent; while she is taught to be distrustful of
herself; dependent; and self…sacrificing in all things。 Thus;
the intellect of the one is cultivated at the expense of the
affections; and the affections of the other at the expense
of the intellect。
It is unquestionable that the highest qualities of woman are
displayed in her relationship to others; through the medium of her
affections。 She is the nurse whom nature has given to all
humankind。 She takes charge of the helpless; and nourishes and
cherishes those we love。 She is the presiding genius of the
fireside; where she creates an atmosphere of serenity and
contentment suitable for the nurture and growth of character in
its best forms。 She is by her very constitution compassionate;
gentle; patient; and self…denying。 Loving; hopeful; trustful;
her eye sheds brightness everywhere。 It shines upon coldness
and warms it; upon suffering and relieves it; upon sorrow
and cheers it:
〃Her silver flow
Of subtle…paced counsel in distress;
Right to the heart and brain; though undescried;
Winning its way with extreme gentleness
Through all the outworks of suspicion's pride。〃
Woman has been styled 〃the angel of the unfortunate。〃 She is
ready to help the weak; to raise the fallen; to comfort the
suffering。 It was characteristic of woman; that she should have
been the first to build and endow an hospital。 It has been said
that wherever a human being is in suffering; his sighs call a
woman to his side。 When Mungo Park; lonely; friendless; and
famished; after being driven forth from an African village by
the men; was preparing to spend the night under a tree; exposed
to the rain and the wild beasts which there abounded; a poor
negro woman; returning from the labours of the field; took
compassion upon him; conducted him into her hut; and there
gave him food; succour; and shelter。 (1)
But while the most characteristic qualities of woman are displayed
through her sympathies and affections; it is also necessary for
her own happiness; as a self…dependent being; to develope and
strengthen her character; by due self…culture; self…reliance; and
self…control。 It is not desirable; even were it possible; to
close the beautiful avenues of the heart。 Self…reliance of the
best kind does not involve any limitation in the range of human
sympathy。 But the happiness of woman; as of man; depends in a
great measure upon her individual completeness of character。 And
that self…dependence which springs from the due cultivation of the
intellectual powers; conjoined with a proper discipline of the
heart and conscience; will enable her to be more useful in life as
well as happy; to dispense blessings intelligently as well as to
enjoy them; and most of all those which spring from mutual
dependence and social sympathy。
To maintain a high standard of purity in society; the culture of
both sexes must be in harmony; and keep equal pace。 A pure
womanhood must be accompanied by a pure manhood。 The same moral
law applies alike to both。 It would be loosening the foundations
of virtue; to countenance the notion that because of a difference
in sex; man were at liberty to set morality at defiance; and to do
that with impunity; which; if done by a woman; would stain her
character for life。 To maintain a pure and virtuous condition of
society; therefore; man as well as woman must be pure and
virtuous; both alike shunning all acts impinging on the heart;
character; and conscienceshunning them as poison; which;
once imbibed; can never be entirely thrown out again; but
mentally embitters; to a greater or less extent; the happiness
of after…life。
And here we would venture to touch upon a delicate topic。 Though
it is one of universal and engrossing human interest; the moralist
avoids it; the educator shuns it; and parents taboo it。 It is
almost considered indelicate to refer to Love as between the
sexes; and young persons are left to gather their only notions of
it from the impossible love…stories that fill the shelves of
circulating libraries。 This strong and absorbing feeling; this
BESOIN D'AIMERwhich nature has for wise purposes made so strong
in woman that it colours her whole life and history; though it may
form but an episode in the life of manis usually left to follow
its own inclinations; and to grow up for the most part unchecked;
without any guidance or direction whatever。
Although nature spurns all formal rules and directions in affairs
of love; it might at all