the awakening and selected short stories(苏醒)-第15部分
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XVI
〃Do you miss your friend greatly？〃 asked Mademoiselle Reisz one
morning as she came creeping up behind Edna； who had just left her
cottage on her way to the beach。 She spent much of her time in the water
since she had acquired finally the art of swimming。 As their stay at
Grand Isle drew near its close； she felt that she could not give too much
time to a diversion which afforded her the only real pleasurable moments
that she knew。 When Mademoiselle Reisz came and touched her upon
the shoulder and spoke to her； the woman seemed to echo the thought
which was ever in Edna's mind； or； better； the feeling which constantly
possessed her。
Robert's going had some way taken the brightness； the color； the
meaning out of everything。 The conditions of her life were in no way
changed； but her whole existence was dulled； like a faded garment which
seems to be no longer worth wearing。 She sought him everywherein
others whom she induced to talk about him。 She went up in the mornings
to Madame Lebrun's room； braving the clatter of the old sewing…machine。
She sat there and chatted at intervals as Robert had done。 She gazed
around the room at the pictures and photographs hanging upon the wall；
and discovered in some corner an old family album； which she examined
with the keenest interest； appealing to Madame Lebrun for enlightenment
concerning the many figures and faces which she discovered between its
pages。
There was a picture of Madame Lebrun with Robert as a baby； seated
in her lap； a round…faced infant with a fist in his mouth。 The eyes alone in
the baby suggested the man。 And that was he also in kilts； at the age of
five； wearing long curls and holding a whip in his hand。 It made Edna
laugh； and she laughed； too； at the portrait in his first long trousers； while
another interested her； taken when he left for college； looking thin； long…
faced； with eyes full of fire； ambition and great intentions。 But there was
no recent picture； none which suggested the Robert who had gone away
five days ago； leaving a void and wilderness behind him。
〃Oh； Robert stopped having his pictures taken when he had to pay for
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them himself！ He found wiser use for his money； he says；〃 explained
Madame Lebrun。 She had a letter from him； written before he left New
Orleans。 Edna wished to see the letter； and Madame Lebrun told her to
look for it either on the table or the dresser； or perhaps it was on the
mantelpiece。
The letter was on the bookshelf。 It possessed the greatest interest and
attraction for Edna； the envelope； its size and shape； the post…mark； the
handwriting。 She examined every detail of the outside before opening it。
There were only a few lines； setting forth that he would leave the city that
afternoon； that he had packed his trunk in good shape； that he was well；
and sent her his love and begged to be affectionately remembered to all。
There was no special message to Edna except a postscript saying that if
Mrs。 Pontellier desired to finish the book which he had been reading to her；
his mother would find it in his room； among other books there on the table。
Edna experienced a pang of jealousy because he had written to his mother
rather than to her。
Every one seemed to take for granted that she missed him。 Even her
husband； when he came down the Saturday following Robert's departure；
expressed regret that he had gone。
〃How do you get on without him； Edna？〃 he asked。
〃It's very dull without him；〃 she admitted。 Mr。 Pontellier had seen
Robert in the city； and Edna asked him a dozen questions or more。
Where had they met？ On Carondelet Street； in the morning。 They had
gone 〃in〃 and had a drink and a cigar together。 What had they talked
about？ Chiefly about his prospects in Mexico； which Mr。 Pontellier
thought were promising。 How did he look？ How did he seemgrave；
or gay； or how？ Quite cheerful； and wholly taken up with the idea of his
trip； which Mr。 Pontellier found altogether natural in a young fellow about
to seek fortune and adventure in a strange； queer country。
Edna tapped her foot impatiently； and wondered why the children
persisted in playing in the sun when they might be under the trees。 She
went down and led them out of the sun； scolding the quadroon for not
being more attentive。
It did not strike her as in the least grotesque that she should be making
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of Robert the object of conversation and leading her husband to speak of
him。 The sentiment which she entertained for Robert in no way
resembled that which she felt for her husband； or had ever felt； or ever
expected to feel。 She had all her life long been accustomed to harbor
thoughts and emotions which never voiced themselves。 They had never
taken the form of struggles。 They belonged to her and were her own； and
she entertained the conviction that she had a right to them and that they
concerned no one but herself。 Edna had once told Madame Ratignolle
that she would never sacrifice herself for her children； or for any one。
Then had followed a rather heated argument； the two women did not
appear to understand each other or to be talking the same language。 Edna
tried to appease her friend； to explain。
〃I would give up the unessential； I would give my money； I would give
my life for my children； but I wouldn't give myself。 I can't make it more
clear； it's only something which I am beginning to comprehend； which is
revealing itself to me。〃
〃I don't know what you would call the essential； or what you mean by
the unessential；〃 said Madame Ratignolle； cheerfully； 〃but a woman who
would give her life for her children could do no more than thatyour Bible
tells you so。 I'm sure I couldn't do more than that。〃
〃Oh； yes you could！〃 laughed Edna。
She was not surprised at Mademoiselle Reisz's question the morning
that lady； following her to the beach； tapped her on the shoulder and asked
if she did not greatly miss her young friend。
〃Oh； good morning； Mademoiselle； is it you？ Why； of course I miss
Robert。 Are you going down to bathe？〃
〃Why should I go down to bathe at the very end of the season when I
haven't been in the surf all summer；〃 replied the woman； disagreeably。
〃I beg your pardon；〃 offered Edna； in some embarrassment； for she
should have remembered that Mademoiselle Reisz's avoidance of the
water had furnished a theme for much pleasantry。 Some among them
thought it was on account of her false hair； or the dread of getting the
violets wet； while others attributed it to the natural aversion for water
sometimes believed to accompany the artistic temperament。
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Mademoiselle offered Edna some chocolates in a paper bag； which she
took from her pocket； by way of showing that she bore no ill feeling。
She habitually ate chocolates for their sustaining quality； they contained
much nutriment in small compass； she said。 They saved her from
starvation； as Madame Lebrun's table was utterly impossible； and no one
save so impertinent a woman as Madame Lebrun could think of offering
such food to people and requiring them to pay for it。
〃She must feel very lonely without her son；〃 said Edna； desiring to
change the subject。 〃Her favorite son； too。 It must have been quite hard
to let him go。〃
Mademoiselle laughed maliciously。
〃Her favorite son！ Oh； dear！ Who could have been imposing such a
tale upon you？ Aline Lebrun lives for Victor； and for Victor alone。 She
has spoiled him into the worthless creature he is。 She worships him and
the ground he walks on。 Robert is very well in a way； to give up all the
money he can earn to the family； and keep the barest pittance for himself。
Favorite son； indeed！ I miss the poor fellow myself； my dear。 I liked to
see him and to hear him about the place the only Lebrun who is worth a
pinch of salt。 He comes to see me often in the city。 I like to play to him。
That Victor！ hanging would be too good for him。 It's a wonder Robert
hasn't beaten him to death long ago。〃
〃I thought he had great patience with his brother；〃 offered Edna； glad
to be talking about Robert； no matter what was said。
〃Oh！ he thrashed him well enough a year or two ago；
