the awakening and selected short stories(苏醒)-第25部分
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all the money I've won； and I've got to work when the weather is bright；
instead of〃
〃Yes； work； to be sure。 You promised to show me your work。 What
morning may I come up to your atelier？ To…morrow？〃
〃No！〃
〃Day after？〃
〃No； no。〃
〃Oh； please don't refuse me！ I know something of such things。 I
might help you with a stray suggestion or two。〃
〃No。 Good night。 Why don't you go after you have said good night？
I don't like you；〃 she went on in a high； excited pitch； attempting to draw
away her hand。 She felt that her words lacked dignity and sincerity； and
she knew that he felt it。
〃I'm sorry you don't like me。 I'm sorry I offended you。 How have I
offended you？ What have I done？ Can't you forgive me？〃 And he bent
and pressed his lips upon her hand as if he wished never more to withdraw
them。
〃Mr。 Arobin；〃 she complained； 〃I'm greatly upset by the excitement of
the afternoon； I'm not myself。 My manner must have misled you in some
way。 I wish you to go； please。〃 She spoke in a monotonous； dull tone。
He took his hat from the table； and stood with eyes turned from her；
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looking into the dying fire。 For a moment or two he kept an impressive
silence。
〃Your manner has not misled me； Mrs。 Pontellier；〃 he said finally。
〃My own emotions have done that。 I couldn't help it。 When I'm near you；
how could I help it？ Don't think anything of it； don't bother； please。
You see； I go when you command me。 If you wish me to stay away； I
shall do so。 If you let me come back； Ioh！ you will let me come back？〃
He cast one appealing glance at her； to which she made no response。
Alcee Arobin's manner was so genuine that it often deceived even himself。
Edna did not care or think whether it were genuine or not。 When she
was alone she looked mechanically at the back of her hand which he had
kissed so warmly。 Then she leaned her head down on the mantelpiece。
She felt somewhat like a woman who in a moment of passion is betrayed
into an act of infidelity； and realizes the significance of the act without
being wholly awakened from its glamour。 The thought was passing
vaguely through her mind； 〃What would he think？〃
She did not mean her husband； she was thinking of Robert Lebrun。
Her husband seemed to her now like a person whom she had married
without love as an excuse。
She lit a candle and went up to her room。 Alcee Arobin was
absolutely nothing to her。 Yet his presence； his manners； the warmth of
his glances； and above all the touch of his lips upon her hand had acted
like a narcotic upon her。
She slept a languorous sleep； interwoven with vanishing dreams。
XXVI
Alcee Arobin wrote Edna an elaborate note of apology； palpitant with
sincerity。 It embarrassed her； for in a cooler； quieter moment it appeared
to her； absurd that she should have taken his action so seriously； so
dramatically。 She felt sure that the significance of the whole occurrence
had lain in her own self…consciousness。 If she ignored his note it would
give undue importance to a trivial affair。 If she replied to it in a serious
spirit it would still leave in his mind the impression that she had in a
susceptible moment yielded to his influence。 After all； it was no great
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matter to have one's hand kissed。 She was provoked at his having written
the apology。 She answered in as light and bantering a spirit as she
fancied it deserved； and said she would be glad to have him look in upon
her at work whenever he felt the inclination and his business gave him the
opportunity。
He responded at once by presenting himself at her home with all his
disarming naivete。 And then there was scarcely a day which followed
that she did not see him or was not reminded of him。 He was prolific in
pretexts。 His attitude became one of good…humored subservience and
tacit adoration。 He was ready at all times to submit to her moods； which
were as often kind as they were cold。 She grew accustomed to him。 They
became intimate and friendly by imperceptible degrees； and then by leaps。
He sometimes talked in a way that astonished her at first and brought the
crimson into her face； in a way that pleased her at last； appealing to the
animalism that stirred impatiently within her。
There was nothing which so quieted the turmoil of Edna's senses as a
visit to Mademoiselle Reisz。 It was then； in the presence of that
personality which was offensive to her； that the woman； by her divine art；
seemed to reach Edna's spirit and set it free。
It was misty； with heavy； lowering atmosphere； one afternoon； when
Edna climbed the stairs to the pianist's apartments under the roof。 Her
clothes were dripping with moisture。 She felt chilled and pinched as she
entered the room。 Mademoiselle was poking at a rusty stove that smoked
a little and warmed the room indifferently。 She was endeavoring to heat a
pot of chocolate on the stove。 The room looked cheerless and dingy to
Edna as she entered。 A bust of Beethoven； covered with a hood of dust；
scowled at her from the mantelpiece。
〃Ah！ here comes the sunlight！〃 exclaimed Mademoiselle； rising from
her knees before the stove。 〃Now it will be warm and bright enough； I
can let the fire alone。〃
She closed the stove door with a bang； and approaching； assisted in
removing Edna's dripping mackintosh。
〃You are cold； you look miserable。 The chocolate will soon be hot。
But would you rather have a taste of brandy？ I have scarcely touched the
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bottle which you brought me for my cold。〃 A piece of red flannel was
wrapped around Mademoiselle's throat； a stiff neck compelled her to hold
her head on one side。
〃I will take some brandy；〃 said Edna； shivering as she removed her
gloves and overshoes。 She drank the liquor from the glass as a man
would have done。 Then flinging herself upon the uncomfortable sofa she
said； 〃Mademoiselle； I am going to move away from my house on
Esplanade Street。〃
〃Ah！〃 ejaculated the musician； neither surprised nor especially
interested。 Nothing ever seemed to astonish her very much。 She was
endeavoring to adjust the bunch of violets which had become loose from
its fastening in her hair。 Edna drew her down upon the sofa； and taking a
pin from her own hair； secured the shabby artificial flowers in their
accustomed place。
〃Aren't you astonished？〃
〃Passably。 Where are you going？ to New York？ to Iberville？ to your
father in Mississippi？ where？〃
〃Just two steps away；〃 laughed Edna； 〃in a little four…room house
around the corner。 It looks so cozy； so inviting and restful； whenever I
pass by； and it's for rent。 I'm tired looking after that big house。 It never
seemed like mine； anywaylike home。 It's too much trouble。 I have to
keep too many servants。 I am tired bothering with them。〃
〃That is not your true reason； ma belle。 There is no use in telling me
lies。 I don't know your reason； but you have not told me the truth。〃 Edna
did not protest or endeavor to justify herself。
〃The house； the money that provides for it； are not mine。 Isn't that
enough reason？〃
〃They are your husband's；〃 returned Mademoiselle； with a shrug and a
malicious elevation of the eyebrows。
〃Oh！ I see there is no deceiving you。 Then let me tell you： It is a
caprice。 I have a little money of my own from my mother's estate； which
my father sends me by driblets。 I won a large sum this winter on the
races； and I am beginning to sell my sketches。 Laidpore is more and more
pleased with my work； he says it grows in force and individuality。 I
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cannot judge of that myself； but I feel that I have gained in ease and
confidence。 However； as I said； I have sold a good many through
Laidpore。 I can live in the tiny house for little or nothing； with one
servant。 Old Celestine； who works occasionally for me； says she will
come stay with me and do my work。 I know I shall like it； like the
feeling of freedom and independence。〃
〃What does your husband
