the awakening and selected short stories(苏醒)-第44部分
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suppose it's natural for a man to feel and act generously on an occasion of
this kind。 He tells me he doesn't want his marriage to interrupt wholly
that pleasant intimacy which has existed between you and me。 I don't
know what you've been telling him；〃 with an insolent smile； 〃but he has
sent me here to kiss you。〃
She felt like a chess player who； by the clever handling of his pieces；
sees the game taking the course intended。 Her eyes were bright and
tender with a smile as they glanced up into his； and her lips looked hungry
for the kiss which they invited。
〃But； you know；〃 he went on quietly； 〃I didn't tell him so； it would
have seemed ungrateful； but I can tell you。 I've stopped kissing women；
it's dangerous。〃
Well； she had Brantain and his million left。 A person can't have
everything in this world； and it was a little unreasonable of her to expect
it。
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A Pair of Silk Stockings
Little Mrs。 Sommers one day found herself the unexpected possessor
of fifteen dollars。 It seemed to her a very large amount of money； and the
way in which it stuffed and bulged her worn old porte…monnaie gave her a
feeling of importance such as she had not enjoyed for years。
The question of investment was one that occupied her greatly。 For a
day or two she walked about apparently in a dreamy state； but really
absorbed in speculation and calculation。 She did not wish to act hastily；
to do anything she might afterward regret。 But it was during the still
hours of the night when she lay awake revolving plans in her mind that she
seemed to see her way clearly toward a proper and judicious use of the
money。
A dollar or two should be added to the price usually paid for Janie's
shoes； which would insure their lasting an appreciable time longer than
they usually did。 She would buy so and so many yards of percale for
new shirt waists for the boys and Janie and Mag。 She had intended to
make the old ones do by skilful patching。 Mag should have another
gown。 She had seen some beautiful patterns； veritable bargains in the
shop windows。 And still there would be left enough for new stockings
two pairs apieceand what darning that would save for a while！ She
would get caps for the boys and sailor…hats for the girls。 The vision of
her little brood looking fresh and dainty and new for once in their lives
excited her and made her restless and wakeful with anticipation。
The neighbors sometimes talked of certain 〃better days〃 that little Mrs。
Sommers had known before she had ever thought of being Mrs。 Sommers。
She herself indulged in no such morbid retrospection。 She had no time
no second of time to devote to the past。 The needs of the present
absorbed her every faculty。 A vision of the future like some dim； gaunt
monster sometimes appalled her； but luckily to…morrow never comes。
Mrs。 Sommers was one who knew the value of bargains； who could
stand for hours making her way inch by inch toward the desired object that
was selling below cost。 She could elbow her way if need be； she had
learned to clutch a piece of goods and hold it and stick to it with
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persistence and determination till her turn came to be served； no matter
when it came。
But that day she was a little faint and tired。 She had swallowed a
light luncheonno！ when she came to think of it； between getting the
children fed and the place righted； and preparing herself for the shopping
bout； she had actually forgotten to eat any luncheon at all！
She sat herself upon a revolving stool before a counter that was
comparatively deserted； trying to gather strength and courage to charge
through an eager multitude that was besieging breastworks of shirting and
figured lawn。 An all…gone limp feeling had come over her and she rested
her hand aimlessly upon the counter。 She wore no gloves。 By degrees
she grew aware that her hand had encountered something very soothing；
very pleasant to touch。 She looked down to see that her hand lay upon a
pile of silk stockings。 A placard near by announced that they had been
reduced in price from two dollars and fifty cents to one dollar and ninety…
eight cents； and a young girl who stood behind the counter asked her if she
wished to examine their line of silk hosiery。 She smiled； just as if she
had been asked to inspect a tiara of diamonds with the ultimate view of
purchasing it。 But she went on feeling the soft； sheeny luxurious things
with both hands now； holding them up to see them glisten； and to feel
them glide serpent…like through her fingers。
Two hectic blotches came suddenly into her pale cheeks。 She looked
up at the girl。
〃Do you think there are any eights…and…a…half among these？〃
There were any number of eights…and…a…half。 In fact； there were
more of that size than any other。 Here was a light…blue pair； there were
some lavender； some all black and various shades of tan and gray。 Mrs。
Sommers selected a black pair and looked at them very long and closely。
She pretended to be examining their texture； which the clerk assured her
was excellent。
〃A dollar and ninety…eight cents；〃 she mused aloud。 〃Well； I'll take
this pair。〃 She handed the girl a five…dollar bill and waited for her change
and for her parcel。 What a very small parcel it was！ It seemed lost in
the depths of her shabby old shopping…bag。
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Mrs。 Sommers after that did not move in the direction of the bargain
counter。 She took the elevator； which carried her to an upper floor into
the region of the ladies' waiting…rooms。 Here； in a retired corner； she
exchanged her cotton stockings for the new silk ones which she had just
bought。 She was not going through any acute mental process or
reasoning with herself； nor was she striving to explain to her satisfaction
the motive of her action。 She was not thinking at all。 She seemed for the
time to be taking a rest from that laborious and fatiguing function and to
have abandoned herself to some mechanical impulse that directed her
actions and freed her of responsibility。
How good was the touch of the raw silk to her flesh！ She felt like
lying back in the cushioned chair and reveling for a while in the luxury of
it。 She did for a little while。 Then she replaced her shoes； rolled the
cotton stockings together and thrust them into her bag。 After doing this
she crossed straight over to the shoe department and took her seat to be
fitted。
She was fastidious。 The clerk could not make her out； he could not
reconcile her shoes with her stockings； and she was not too easily pleased。
She held back her skirts and turned her feet one way and her head another
way as she glanced down at the polished； pointed…tipped boots。 Her foot
and ankle looked very pretty。 She could not realize that they belonged to
her and were a part of herself。 She wanted an excellent and stylish fit；
she told the young fellow who served her； and she did not mind the
difference of a dollar or two more in the price so long as she got what she
desired。
It was a long time since Mrs。 Sommers had been fitted with gloves。
On rare occasions when she had bought a pair they were always
〃bargains；〃 so cheap that it would have been preposterous and
unreasonable to have expected them to be fitted to the hand。
Now she rested her elbow on the cushion of the glove counter； and a
pretty； pleasant young creature； delicate and deft of touch； drew a long…
wristed 〃kid〃 over Mrs。 Sommers's hand。 She smoothed it down over the
wrist and buttoned it neatly； and both lost themselves for a second or two
in admiring contemplation of the little symmetrical gloved hand。 But
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there were other places where money might be spent。
There were books and magazines piled up in the window of a stall a
few paces down the street。 Mrs。 Sommers bought two high…priced
magazines such as she had been accustomed to read in the days when she
had been accustomed to other pleasant things。 She carried them without
wrappin
