the awakening and selected short stories(苏醒)-第6部分
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firmly and warmly。 She even stroked it a little； fondly； with the other
hand； murmuring in an undertone； 〃Pauvre cherie。〃
The action was at first a little confusing to Edna； but she soon lent
herself readily to the Creole's gentle caress。 She was not accustomed to
an outward and spoken expression of affection； either in herself or in
others。 She and her younger sister； Janet； had quarreled a good deal
through force of unfortunate habit。 Her older sister； Margaret； was
matronly and dignified； probably from having assumed matronly and
housewifely responsibilities too early in life； their mother having died
when they were quite young； Margaret was not effusive； she was practical。
Edna had had an occasional girl friend； but whether accidentally or not；
they seemed to have been all of one typethe self…contained。 She never
realized that the reserve of her own character had much； perhaps
everything； to do with this。 Her most intimate friend at school had been
one of rather exceptional intellectual gifts； who wrote fine…sounding
essays； which Edna admired and strove to imitate； and with her she talked
and glowed over the English classics； and sometimes held religious and
political controversies。
Edna often wondered at one propensity which sometimes had inwardly
disturbed her without causing any outward show or manifestation on her
part。 At a very early ageperhaps it was when she traversed the ocean of
waving grassshe remembered that she had been passionately enamored
of a dignified and sad…eyed cavalry officer who visited her father in
Kentucky。 She could not leave his presence when he was there； nor
remove her eyes from his face； which was something like Napoleon's； with
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a lock of black hair failing across the forehead。 But the cavalry officer
melted imperceptibly out of her existence。
At another time her affections were deeply engaged by a young
gentleman who visited a lady on a neighboring plantation。 It was after
they went to Mississippi to live。 The young man was engaged to be
married to the young lady； and they sometimes called upon Margaret；
driving over of afternoons in a buggy。 Edna was a little miss； just
merging into her teens； and the realization that she herself was nothing；
nothing； nothing to the engaged young man was a bitter affliction to her。
But he； too； went the way of dreams。
She was a grown young woman when she was overtaken by what she
supposed to be the climax of her fate。 It was when the face and figure of
a great tragedian began to haunt her imagination and stir her senses。 The
persistence of the infatuation lent it an aspect of genuineness。 The
hopelessness of it colored it with the lofty tones of a great passion。
The picture of the tragedian stood enframed upon her desk。 Any one
may possess the portrait of a tragedian without exciting suspicion or
comment。 （This was a sinister reflection which she cherished。） In the
presence of others she expressed admiration for his exalted gifts； as she
handed the photograph around and dwelt upon the fidelity of the likeness。
When alone she sometimes picked it up and kissed the cold glass
passionately。
Her marriage to Leonce Pontellier was purely an accident； in this
respect resembling many other marriages which masquerade as the
decrees of Fate。 It was in the midst of her secret great passion that she
met him。 He fell in love； as men are in the habit of doing； and pressed
his suit with an earnestness and an ardor which left nothing to be desired。
He pleased her； his absolute devotion flattered her。 She fancied there
was a sympathy of thought and taste between them； in which fancy she
was mistaken。 Add to this the violent opposition of her father and her
sister Margaret to her marriage with a Catholic； and we need seek no
further for the motives which led her to accept Monsieur Pontellier。 for her
husband。
The acme of bliss； which would have been a marriage with the
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tragedian； was not for her in this world。 As the devoted wife of a man
who worshiped her； she felt she would take her place with a certain dignity
in the world of reality； closing the portals forever behind her upon the
realm of romance and dreams。
But it was not long before the tragedian had gone to join the cavalry
officer and the engaged young man and a few others； and Edna found
herself face to face with the realities。 She grew fond of her husband；
realizing with some unaccountable satisfaction that no trace of passion or
excessive and fictitious warmth colored her affection； thereby threatening
its dissolution。
She was fond of her children in an uneven； impulsive way。 She
would sometimes gather them passionately to her heart； she would
sometimes forget them。 The year before they had spent part of the
summer with their grandmother Pontellier in Iberville。 Feeling secure
regarding their happiness and welfare； she did not miss them except with
an occasional intense longing。 Their absence was a sort of relief； though
she did not admit this； even to herself。 It seemed to free her of a
responsibility which she had blindly assumed and for which Fate had not
fitted her。
Edna did not reveal so much as all this to Madame Ratignolle that
summer day when they sat with faces turned to the sea。 But a good part
of it escaped her。 She had put her head down on Madame Ratignolle's
shoulder。 She was flushed and felt intoxicated with the sound of her own
voice and the unaccustomed taste of candor。 It muddled her like wine； or
like a first breath of freedom。
There was the sound of approaching voices。 It was Robert；
surrounded by a troop of children； searching for them。 The two little
Pontelliers were with him； and he carried Madame Ratignolle's little girl in
his arms。 There were other children beside； and two nurse…maids
followed； looking disagreeable and resigned。
The women at once rose and began to shake out their draperies and
relax their muscles。 Mrs。 Pontellier threw the cushions and rug into the
bath…house。 The children all scampered off to the awning； and they stood
there in a line； gazing upon the intruding lovers； still exchanging their
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vows and sighs。 The lovers got up； with only a silent protest； and walked
slowly away somewhere else。
The children possessed themselves of the tent； and Mrs。 Pontellier
went over to join them。
Madame Ratignolle begged Robert to accompany her to the house； she
complained of cramp in her limbs and stiffness of the joints。 She leaned
draggingly upon his arm as they walked。
VIII
〃Do me a favor； Robert；〃 spoke the pretty woman at his side； almost as
soon as she and Robert had started their slow； homeward way。 She
looked up in his face； leaning on his arm beneath the encircling shadow of
the umbrella which he had lifted。
〃Granted； as many as you like；〃 he returned； glancing down into her
eyes that were full of thoughtfulness and some speculation。
〃I only ask for one； let Mrs。 Pontellier alone。〃
〃Tiens！〃 he exclaimed； with a sudden； boyish laugh。 〃Voila que
Madame Ratignolle est jalouse！〃
〃Nonsense！ I'm in earnest； I mean what I say。 Let Mrs。 Pontellier
alone。〃
〃Why？〃 he asked； himself growing serious at his companion's
solicitation。
〃She is not one of us； she is not like us。 She might make the
unfortunate blunder of taking you seriously。〃
His face flushed with annoyance； and taking off his soft hat he began
to beat it impatiently against his leg as he walked。 〃Why shouldn't she
take me seriously？〃 he demanded sharply。 〃Am I a comedian； a clown； a
jack…in…the…box？ Why shouldn't she？ You Creoles！ I have no patience
with you！ Am I always to be regarded as a feature of an amusing
programme？ I hope Mrs。 Pontellier does take me seriously。 I hope she
has discernment enough to find in me something besides the blagueur。
