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but Scandinavians are among the most appreciative people on earth if you know their  
language anyhow。         
Polish; Croatian; Czech; Slovak; Slovenian         
These western Slavic languages use the Roman alphabet。 The eastern Slavic languages  
use the Cyrillic (sometimes mistakenly called the Russian) alphabet。 Don’t suggest it  
after a few drinks in Warsaw; but Polish might be better off using the Cyrillic alphabet。 A  
Polish sound resembling the sh combined with the following ch in push charlie is spelled  
szcz in Polish。 That sound; which requires four letters in the Roman alphabet; needs only  
one in the Cyrillic! Romanising Slavic languages leads to orthographical madness。 A  
newspaper reporter in a small Southern town went into his editor’s office and said;  
“There’s been an earthquake in the Polish city of Pszczyna。” He showed the editor the  
story off the wire。 After a momentary frown the editor looked up and said; “Find out  
what the name of the place was before the earthquake!”    
Except for Polish; none of these languages has much bounce beyond its borders; but  
if your reason for wanting to learn them involves family; love; or business; that won’t  
matter。 All Slavic languages are grammatically complex。 Verbs change for reasons that  
leave even those who speak Romance languages weeping over their wine and wondering  
why。 There are at least six noun cases in every Slavic language; sometimes seven。    
The big payoff in learning any of these Slavic languages is the automatic down  
payment you’re making on Russian itself。 Russian will be a breeze if you already know  
another Slavic language; and conversely; the other Slavic languages will come more  
easily if you already know Russian。         
 
Serbian; Bulgarian; Macedonian; Ukranian;    
Byelorussian         
Everything stated above about the western Slavic languages applies to these eastern  
Slavic languages with one exception – they use the Cyrillic alphabet; with slight  
variations from language to language。    
The similarities between Serbian and Croatian; the main languages of Yugoslavia;  
are so striking the languages are usually lumped together as Serbo…Croatian。    
If you know any two Slavic languages; you can make yourself understood in any of  
the other Slavic languages。 That may be challenged by Slavic scholars; but it works well  
in real life between the western border of Poland and the Ural Mountains and from the  
arctic tip of Russia to the Black Sea beaches of Bulgaria。                        
Indonesian         
Indonesia is the world’s most populous Muslim nation。 Consisting of hundreds of islands  
spread out over a South Pacific area the size of the United States; Indonesia is easily the  
largest country in the world about which the most other people in the world know the  
least。 With enough mineral wealth in the ground to make it an economic superpower;  
Indonesia is still frequently confused with India or Polynesia。    
Indonesian is the easiest major language in the world for a foreigner to learn。 It was  
called Pasar Malay (“Bazaar Malay”) by the colonial Dutch who looked upon the  
Indonesian language as a kind of baby talk for servants and merchants。 When Indonesia  
won independence in 1948; the ruler; Sukarno; did his best to take that unstructured  
language and graft some sophisticated grammar onto it to make it more regimented and  
thus difficult。 He failed。    
Indonesian still has nothing that will be regarded as grammar by anybody who’s  
done battle with Latin or Russian。 There are suffixes and prefixes aplenty; neat and  
regular; that convert verbs into nouns and give verbs additional meanings and the like;  
but no inflections according to person; number; tense; aspect; or anything else。    
Indonesian uses the Roman alphabet and is delightfully easy to pronounce。 If  
you’ve ever studied any other language; you’ll marvel at how quickly and clearly you’ll  
understand and be understood。    
Indonesian is closely related to Malayan; the language of Malaysia and Singapore;  
and gives you a head start in Tagalog; the major language of the Philippines。         
Hindi and Urdu         
The spoken languages of India and Pakistan; Hindi and Urdu; are so close that the true  
language lover is tempted to take the plunge even though both languages use different  
and; to us; unfamiliar scripts (Devanagari; and a mixture of Persian and Arabic)。 Though  
other languages abound on the Indian subcontinent; Hindi…Urdu united their respective    
 
nations and whoever jumps in (despite the current lack of good learning materials) will  
be able to communicate with a population second only to that of China。              
Hungarian; Finnish; Estonian         
Despite the grammatical complexity and the relatively small pool of native speakers; an  
occasional adventurer is drawn almost masochistically to the three Finno…Ugric  
languages。 If you were the hated kid in ninth grade who stayed after algebra class to beg  
the teacher to introduce you to calculus; they might want to try one of these。    
Every word in all three languages is accented on the first syllable – every single  
word; names and all; giving those languages the sound of a pneumatic jackhammer  
breaking up a sidewalk。 There are; in Finnish; fifteen noun cases in the singular and  
sixteen in the plural。 Hungarian and Estonian aren’t far behind。 And that’s the easy part!    
People whose language you choose to learn often ask polite questions about why  
you wanted to learn their language。 Let on to a Finn; a Hungarian; or an Estonian that you  
know a little bit of their language and you will not merely be questioned。 You’ll be cross  
examined!    
Swahili         
Swahili enjoyed a surge of support beginning in the late 1960’s among young American  
blacks who wanted to reconnect to their African roots。 Anyone who pressed on and  
mastered Swahili would today speak a language spoken by fifty million people living in  
central and eastern Africa; including the nations of Kenya and Tanzania in which Swahili  
is the national language。 Swahili is a Bantu language; and once you learn it you can  
expect easy going when you decide to learn Kiganda; Kikamba; Kikuyu; Kinyanja;  
Kichaga; Kiluba; Kishona; Kizulu; Kikongo; and Kiduala; all of which are spoken over  
smaller areas in Africa south of the Sahara。    
Swahili uses the Roman alphabet。 The Say It In Swahili phrase book advises us not  
to be discouraged by words like kitakachonisahilishia; because Swahili grammar is  
mercifully regular and logical!         
English         
The mere fact that you’re reading these words right now calls for self congratulations。 It  
means you’re fluent in the winner; the international language; the number one language  
of all time!    
When a Soviet plane approaches the airport in China; the pilot and the control tower  
don’t speak Russian to each other。 They don’t speak Chinese。 They speak English。 If an  
Italian plane is about to land in another part of Italy; the Italian pilot and the Italian traffic  
control person also speak English。    
When the Israeli general and the Egyptian general met in Sinai in October 1973 to  
talk truce in the Yom Kippur War; they didn’t speak Hebrew。 They didn’t speak Arabic。  
They spoke English。    
When Norwegian whaling ships put into the port of Capetown; South Africa; to hire  
Zulu seamen; the interviewing is not done in Norwegian or Zulu。 It’s done in English。    
 
The parliaments of Sweden; Denmark; and Norway send delegates to a body called  
the Nordic Council。 Their official meetings are conducted – at great expense in  
interpreters and simultaneous interpretation equipment – in Swedish; Danish and  
Norwegian。 When the meetings end; however; and the delegates from the three  
neighbouring countries adjourn to the bar and the dining room; they all start speaking  
English with each other!    
Haven’t you noticed something odd about protestors you have seen on TV  
demonstrating in Lithuania; Estonia; Korea; Iraq; Mexico; and other countries where  
neither the protestors; the ones they’re protesting against; nor the local media speak  
native English? In addition to the signs and banners in their own languages; they always  
carry signs and banners in English。 And for good reason。 They want their message to  
reverberate around the world。    
On a map of Africa; Nigeria seems a tiny patch where the bulge of that gigantic  
continent meets the body。 Inside that patch; however; live between 100 and 120 million  
people speaking 250 different languages; with names like Yoruba; Ibo; Hausa; Nupe; and  
Oyo。 From their first day of school; the children of Nigeria are taught English。 Without  
English; not only could Nigeria not talk to the world; Nigerians couldn’t even talk to each  
other。    
When a Nigerian educator; Aliu Babtunde Fafunwa; proposed in early 1991 that  
Nigerian children begin their education in their 250 respective mother tongues; the  
government newspaper itself wrote in an editorial; “The least luxury we can afford in the  
last decade of the twentieth century is an idealistic experiment in linguistic nationalism  
which could cut our children off from the main current of human development。” That’s  
hardly a hate filled denunciation of former colonial masters。    
Every attempt to launch an artificial international language has so far failed。  
Esperanto; Idiom Neutral; Kosmos; Monoglottica; Universalsprache; Neo…Latine;  
Vertparl; Mundolingue; Dil; Volapuk; even an international language based on the notes  
of the musical scale; all started out weak and gradually tapered off。 My guess is they  
always will。 You can no more “vote” a language into being the international language  
than you can vote warmth into a blizzard。    
Languages attain prominence something the way individuals and countries do;  
through all kinds of force; including war。 There’s an added element in prominence;  
however。 Brute force is not enough。 The winning language must have a degree of  
acceptability to the losers。    
Russian emerged from World

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