rudder grange-第26部分

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was　as　happy　as　a　lark。

〃'Come　along；　Earl　Miguel；'　I　says；　'let　us　tread　a　measure　'neath
these　mantlin'　trees。'

〃'All　right；'　says　he。　　'Your　Jiguel　attends　you。　　An'　what　might
our　noble　second　name　be？　　What　is　we　earl　an'　earl…ess　of？'

〃'Oh；　anything；'　says　I。　　'Let's　take　any　name　at　random。'

〃'All　right；'　says　he。　　'Let　it　be　random。　　Earl　an'　Earl…ess
Random。　　Come　along。'

〃So　we　walks　about；　I　feelin'　mighty　noble　an'　springy；　an'　afore
long　we　sees　another　couple　a…walkin'　about　under　the　trees。

〃'Who's　them？'　says　I。

〃'Don't　know；'　says　he；　'but　I　expect　they're　some　o'　the　other
boarders。　　The　man　said　he　had　other　boarders　when　I　spoke　to　him
about　takin'　us。'

〃'Let's　make…believe　they're　a　count　an'　count　says　I。　　'Count　an'
Countess　of'

〃'Milwaukee；'　says　he。

〃I　didn't　think　much　of　this　for　a　noble　name；　but　still　it　would
do　well　enough；　an'　so　we　called　'em　the　Count　an'　Countess　of
Milwaukee；　an'　we　kep'　on　a　meanderin'。　　Pretty　soon　he　gets　tired
an'　says　he　was　agoin'　back　to　the　house　to　have　a　smoke　because　he
thought　it　was　time　to　have　a　little　fun　which　weren't　all
imaginations；　an'　I　says　to　him　to　go　along；　but　it　would　be　the
hardest　thing　in　this　world　for　me　to　imagine　any　fun　in　smokin'。
He　laughed　an'　went　back；　while　I　walked　on；　a…makin'…believe　a
page；　in　blue　puffed　breeches；　was　a…holdin'　up　my　train；　which　was
of　light…green　velvet　trimmed　with　silver　lace。　　Pretty　soon；
turnin'　a　little　corner；　I　meets　the　Count　and　Countess　of
Milwaukee。　　She　was　a　small　lady；　dressed　in　black；　an'　he　was　a
big　fat　man　about　fifty　years　old；　with　a　grayish　beard。　　They　both
wore　little　straw　hats；　exac'ly　alike；　an'　had　on　green　carpet…
slippers。

〃They　stops　when　they　sees　me；　an'　the　lady　she　bows　and　says
'good…mornin'；'　an'　then　she　smiles；　very　pleasant；　an'　asks　if　I
was　a…livin'　here；　an'　when　I　said　I　was；　she　says　she　was　too；　for
the　present；　an'　what　was　my　name。　　I　had　half　a　mind　to　say　the
Earl…ess　Random；　but　she　was　so　pleasant　and　sociable　that　I　didn't
like　to　seem　to　be　makin'　fun；　an'　so　I　said　I　was　Mrs。　De
Henderson。

〃'An'　I；'　says　she；　'am　Mrs。　General　Andrew　Jackson；　widow　of　the
ex…President　of　the　United　States。　　I　am　staying　here　on　business
connected　with　the　United　States　Bank。　　This　is　my　brother；'　says
she；　pointin'　to　the　big　man。

〃'How　d'ye　do？'　says　he；　a…puttin'　his　hands　together；　turnin'　his
toes　out　an'　makin'　a　funny　little　bow。　　'I　am　General　Tom　Thumb；'
he　says　in　a　deep；　gruff　voice；　'an'　I've　been　before　all　the
crown…ed　heads　of　Europe；　Asia；　Africa；　America　an'　Australia；all
a's　but　one；an'　I'm　waitin'　here　for　a　team　of　four　little　milk…
white　oxen；　no　bigger　than　tall　cats；　which　is　to　be　hitched　to　a
little　hay…wagon；　which　I　am　to　ride　in；　with　a　little　pitch…fork
an'　real　farmer's　clothes；　only　small。　　This　will　come　to…morrow；
when　I　will　pay　for　it　an'　ride　away　to　exhibit。　　It　may　be　here
now；　an'　I　will　go　an'　see。　　Good…bye。'

〃'Good…bye；　likewise；'　says　the　lady。　　'I　hope　you'll　have　all
you're　thinkin'　you're　havin'；　an'　more　too；　but　less　if　you'd　like
it。　　Farewell。'　　An'　away　they　goes。

〃Well；　you　may　be　sure；　I　stood　there　amazed　enough；　an'　mad　too
when　I　heard　her　talk　about　my　bein'　all　I　was　a…thinkin'　I　was。　　I
was　sure　my　husbandscarce　two　weeks　old；　a　husbandhad　told　all。
It　was　too　bad。　　I　wished　I　had　jus'　said　I　was　the　Earl…ess　of
Random　an'　brassed　it　out。

〃I　rushed　back　an'　foun'　him　smokin'　a　pipe　on　a　back　porch。　　I
charged　him　with　his　perfidy；　but　he　vowed　so　earnest　that　he　had
not　told　these　people　of　our　fancies；　or　ever　had　spoke　to　'em；
that　I　had　to　believe　him。

〃'I　expec'；'　says　he；　'that　they're　jus'　makin'…believeas　we　are。
There　aint　no　patent　on　make…believes。'

〃This　didn't　satisfy　me；　an'　as　he　seemed　to　be　so　careless　about
it　I　walked　away；　an'　left　him　to　his　pipe。　　I　determined　to　go
take　a　walk　along　some　of　the　country　roads　an'　think　this　thing
over　for　myself。　　I　went　aroun'　to　the　front　gate；　where　the　woman
of　the　house　was　a…standin'　talkin'　to　somebody；　an'　I　jus'　bowed
to　her；　for　I　didn't　feel　like　sayin'　anything；　an'　walked　past
her。

〃'Hello！'　said　she；　jumpin'　in　front　of　me　an'　shuttin'　the　gate。
'You　can't　go　out　here。　　If　you　want　to　walk　you　can　walk　about　in
the　grounds。　　There's　lots　of　shady　paths。'

〃'Can't　go　out！'　says　I。　　'Can't　go　out！　　What　do　you　mean　by
that？'

〃'I　mean　jus'　what　I　say；'　said　she；　an'　she　locked　the　gate。

〃I　was　so　mad　that　I　could　have　pushed　her　over　an'　broke　the　gate；
but　I　thought　that　if　there　was　anything　of　that　kind　to　do　I　had　a
husband　whose　business　it　was　to　attend　to　it；　an'　so　I　runs　aroun'
to　him　to　tell　him。　　He　had　gone　in；　but　I　met　Mrs。　Jackson　an'　her
brother。

〃'What's　the　matter？'　said　she；　seein'　what　a　hurry　I　was　in。

〃'That　woman　at　the　gate；'　I　said；　almost　chokin'　as　I　spoke；　'wont
let　me　out。'

〃'She　wont？'　said　Mrs。　Jackson。　　'Well；　that's　a　way　she　has。　　Four
times　the　Bank　of　the　United　States　has　closed　its　doors　before　I
was　able　to　get　there；　on　account　of　that　woman's　obstinacy　about
the　gate。　　Indeed；　I　have　not　been　to　the　Bank　at　all　yet；　for　of
course　it　is　of　no　use　to　go　after　banking　hours。'

〃'An'　I　believe；　too；'　said　her　brother　in　his　heavy　voice；　'that
she　has　kept　out　my　team　of　little　oxen。　　Otherwise　it　would　be
here　now。'

〃I　couldn't　stand　any　more　of　this　an'　ran　into　our　room　where　my
husband　was。　　When　I　told　him　what　had　happened；　he　was　real　sorry。

〃'I　didn't　know　you　thought　of　going　out；'　he　said；　'or　I　would
have　told　you　all　about　it。　　An'　now　sit　down　an'　quiet　yourself；
an'　I'll　tell　you　jus'　how　things　is。'　　So　down　we　sits；　an'　says
he；　jus'　as　carm　as　a　summer　cloud；　'My　dear；　this　is　a　lunertic
asylum。　　Now；　don't　jump；'　he　says；　'I　didn't　bring　you　here；
because　I　thought　you　was　crazy；　but　because　I　wanted　you　to　see
what　kind　of　people　they　was　who　imagined　themselves　earls　and
earl…esses；　an'　all　that　sort　o'　thing；　an'　to　have　an　idea　how　the
thing　worked　after　you'd　been　doing　it　a　good　while　an'　had　got
used　to　it。　　I　thought　it　would　be　a　good　thing；　while　I　was　Earl
Jiguel　and　you　was　a　noble　earl…ess；　to　come　to　a　place　where
people　acted　that　way。　　I　knowed　you　had　read　lots　o'　books　about
knights　and　princes　an'　bloody　towers；　an'　that　you　knowed　all
about　them　things；　but　I　didn't　suppose　you　did　know　how　them　same
things　looked　in　these　days；　an'　a　lunertic　asylum　was　the　only
place　where　you　could　see　'em。　　So　I　went　to　a　doctor　I　knowed；'　he
says；　'an'　got　a　certificate　from　him　to　this　private　institution；
where　we　could　stay　for　a　while　an'　get　posted　on　romantics。'

〃'Then；'　says　I；　'the　upshot　was　that　you　wanted　to　teach　a
lesson。'

〃'Jus'　that；'　says　he。

〃'All　right；'　says　I；　'it's　teached。　　An'　now　let's　get　out　of　this
as　quick　as　we　kin。'

〃'That'll　suit　me；'　he　says；　'an'　we'll　leave　by　the　noon　train。
I'll　go　an'　see　about　the　trunk　bein'　sent　down。'

〃So　off　he　went　to　see　the　man　who　kept　the　house；　while　I　falls　to
packin'　up　the　trunk　as　fast　as　I　could。〃

〃Weren't　you　dreadfully　angry　at　him？〃　asked　Euphemia；　who；　having
a　romantic　streak　in　her　own　composition；　did　not　sympathize
altogether　with　this　heroic　remedy　for　Pomona's　disease。

〃No；　ma'am；〃　said　Pomona；　〃not　long。　　When　I　thought　of　Mrs。
General　Jackson　and　Tom　Thumb；　I　couldn't　help　thinkin'　that　I　must
have　looked　pretty　much　the　same　to　my　husband；　who；　I　knowed　now；
had　only　been　makin'…believe　to　make…believe。　　An'　besides；　I
couldn't　be　angry　very　long　for　laughin；　for　when　he　come　back　in　a
minute；　as　mad　as　a　March　hare；　an'　said　they　wouldn't　let　me　out
nor　him　nuther；　I　fell　to　laughin'　ready　to　crack　my　sides。

〃'They　say；'　said　he；　as　soon　as　he　could　speak　straight；　'that　we
can't　go　out　without　another　certificate　from　the　doctor。　　I　told
'em　I'd　go　myself　an'　see　him　about　it　but　they　said　no；　I
couldn't；　for　if　they　did　that　way　everybody　who　ever　was　sent　here
would　be　goin'　out　the　next　day　to　see　about　leavin'。　　I　didn't
want　to　make　no　fuss；　so　I　told　them　I'd　write　a　letter　to　the
doctor　and　tell　him　to　send　an　order　that　would　soon　show　them
whether　we　could　go　out　or　not。　　They　said　that　would　be　the　best
thing　to　do；　an　so　I'm　goin'　to　write　it　this　minute；'which　he
did。

〃'How　long　will　we　have　to　wait？'　says　I；　when　the　letter　was　done。

〃'Well；'　says　he；　'the　doctor　can't　get　this　before　to…morrow
mornin'；　an'　even　if　he　answers　right　away；　we　won't　get　our　order
to　go　out　until　the　next　day。　　So　we'll　jus'　have　to　grin　an'　bear
it　for　a　day　an'　a　half。'

〃'This　is　a　lively　old　bridal…trip；'　said　I；'dry　falls　an'　a
lunertic　asylum。'

〃'We'll　try　to　make　the　rest　of　it　better；'　said　he。

〃But　the　next　day　wasn't　no　better。　　We　staid　in　our　room　all　day；
for　we　didn't　care　to　meet　Mrs。　Jackson　an'　her　crazy　brother；　an'
I'm　sure　we　didn't　want　to　see　the　mean　creatures　who　kept　the
house。　　We　knew　well　enough　that　they　only　wanted　us　to　stay　so
that　they　could　get　more　board…money　out　of　us。〃

〃I　should　have　broken　out；〃　cried　Euphemia。　　〃I　would　never　have
staid　an　hour　in　that　place；　after　I　found　out　what　it　was；
especially　on　a　bridal　trip。〃

〃If　we'd　done　that；〃　said　Pomona；　〃they'd　have　got　men　after　us；
an'　then　everybody　would　have　thought　we　was　real　crazy。　　We　made
up　our　minds　to　wait　for　the　doctor's　letter；　but　it　wasn't　much
fun。　　An'　I　didn't　tell　no　romantic　stories　to　fill　up　the　time。
We　sat　down　an'　behaved　like　the　commonest　kind　o'　people。　　You
never　saw　anybody　sicker　of　romantics　than　I　was　when　I　thought　of
them　two　loons　that　called　themselves　Mrs。　Andrew　Jackson　and
General　Tom　Thumb。　　I　dropped　Miguel　altogether；　an'　he　dropped
Jiguel；　which　was　a　relief　to　me；　an'　I　took　strong　to　Jonas；　even
callin'　him　Jone；　which　I　consider　a　good　deal　uglier　an'　commoner
even　than　Jonas。　　He　didn't　like　this　much；　but　said　that　if　it
would　help　me　out　of　the　Miguel；　he　didn't　care。

〃Well；　on　the　mornin'　of　the　next　day　I　went　into　the　little　front
room　that　they　called　the　office；　to　see　if　there　was　a　letter　for
us　yet；　an'　there　wasn't　nobody　ther