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　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　CHAPTER　VII



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　The　Lion　and　the　Unicorn





　　The　next　moment　soldiers　came　running　through　the　wood；　at　first

in　twos　and　threes；　then　ten　or　twenty　together；　and　at　last　in

such　crowds　that　they　seemed　to　fill　the　whole　forest。　　Alice　got

behind　a　tree；　for　fear　of　being　run　over；　and　watched　them　go　by。



　　She　thought　that　in　all　her　life　she　had　never　seen　soldiers　so

uncertain　on　their　feet：　　they　were　always　tripping　over

something　or　other；　and　whenever　one　went　down；　several　more

always　fell　over　him；　so　that　the　ground　was　soon　covered　with

little　heaps　of　men。



　　Then　came　the　horses。　　Having　four　feet；　these　managed　rather

better　than　the　foot…soldiers：　　but　even　THEY　stumbled　now　and

then；　and　it　seemed　to　be　a　regular　rule　that；　whenever　a　horse

stumbled　the　rider　fell　off　instantly。　　The　confusion　got　worse

every　moment；　and　Alice　was　very　glad　to　get　out　of　the　wood　into

an　open　place；　where　she　found　the　White　King　seated　on　the

ground；　busily　writing　in　his　memorandum…book。



　　‘I've　sent　them　all！'　the　King　cried　in　a　tone　of　delight；　on

seeing　Alice。　　‘Did　you　happen　to　meet　any　soldiers；　my　dear；　as

you　came　through　the　wood？'



　　‘Yes；　I　did；'　said　Alice：　　‘several　thousand；　I　should　think。'



　　‘Four　thousand　two　hundred　and　seven；　that's　the　exact　number；'

the　King　said；　referring　to　his　book。　　‘I　couldn't　send　all　the

horses；　you　know；　because　two　of　them　are　wanted　in　the　game。

And　I　haven't　sent　the　two　Messengers；　either。　　They're　both　gone

to　the　town。　　Just　look　along　the　road；　and　tell　me　if　you　can

see　either　of　them。'



　　‘I　see　nobody　on　the　road；'　said　Alice。



　　‘I　only　wish　_I_　had　such　eyes；'　the　King　remarked　in　a　fretful

tone。　　‘To　be　able　to　see　Nobody！　　And　at　that　distance；　too！

Why；　it's　as　much　as　_I_　can　do　to　see　real　people；　by　this

light！'



　　All　this　was　lost　on　Alice；　who　was　still　looking　intently

along　the　road；　shading　her　eyes　with　one　hand。　　‘I　see　somebody

now！'　she　exclaimed　at　last。　　‘But　he's　coming　very　slowlyand

what　curious　attitudes　he　goes　into！'　　（For　the　messenger　kept

skipping　up　and　down；　and　wriggling　like　an　eel；　as　he　came

along；　with　his　great　hands　spread　out　like　fans　on　each　side。）



　　‘Not　at　all；'　said　the　King。　　‘He's　an　Anglo…Saxon　Messenger

and　those　are　Anglo…Saxon　attitudes。　　He　only　does　them　when

he's　happy。　　His　name　is　Haigha。'　　（He　pronounced　it　so　as　to

rhyme　with　‘mayor。'）



　　‘I　love　my　love　with　an　H；'　Alice　couldn't　help　beginning；

‘because　he　is　Happy。　　I　hate　him　with　an　H；　because　he　is　Hideous。

I　fed　him　withwithwith　Ham…sandwiches　and　Hay。

His　name　is　Haigha；　and　he　lives'



　　‘He　lives　on　the　Hill；'　the　King　remarked　simply；　without　the

least　idea　that　he　was　joining　in　the　game；　while　Alice　was　still

hesitating　for　the　name　of　a　town　beginning　with　H。　　‘The　other

Messenger's　called　Hatta。　　I　must　have　TWO；　you　knowto　come

and　go。　　Once　to　come；　and　one　to　go。'



　　‘I　beg　your　pardon？'　said　Alice。



　　‘It　isn't　respectable　to　beg；'　said　the　King。



　　‘I　only　meant　that　I　didn't　understand；'　said　Alice。　　‘Why　one

to　come　and　one　to　go？'



　　‘Didn't　I　tell　you？'　the　King　repeated　impatiently。　　‘I　must

have　Twoto　fetch　and　carry。　　One　to　fetch；　and　one　to　carry。'



　　At　this　moment　the　Messenger　arrived：　　he　was　far　too　much　out

of　breath　to　say　a　word；　and　could　only　wave　his　hands　about；　and

make　the　most　fearful　faces　at　the　poor　King。



　　‘This　young　lady　loves　you　with　an　H；'　the　King　said；

introducing　Alice　in　the　hope　of　turning　off　the　Messenger's

attention　from　himselfbut　it　was　no　usethe　Anglo…Saxon

attitudes　only　got　more　extraordinary　every　moment；　while　the

great　eyes　rolled　wildly　from　side　to　side。



　　‘You　alarm　me！'　said　the　King。　　‘I　feel　faintGive　me　a　ham

sandwich！'



　　On　which　the　Messenger；　to　Alice's　great　amusement；　opened　a

bag　that　hung　round　his　neck；　and　handed　a　sandwich　to　the　King；

who　devoured　it　greedily。



　　‘Another　sandwich！'　said　the　King。



　　‘There's　nothing　but　hay　left　now；'　the　Messenger　said；　peeping

into　the　bag。



　　‘Hay；　then；'　the　King　murmured　in　a　faint　whisper。



　　Alice　was　glad　to　see　that　it　revived　him　a　good　deal。

‘There's　nothing　like　eating　hay　when　you're　faint；'　he　remarked

to　her；　as　he　munched　away。



　　‘I　should　think　throwing　cold　water　over　you　would　be　better；'

Alice　suggested：　　‘or　some　sal…volatile。'



　　‘I　didn't　say　there　was　nothing　BETTER；'　the　King　replied。　　‘I　said

there　was　nothing　LIKE　it。'　　Which　Alice　did　not　venture　to　deny。



　　‘Who　did　you　pass　on　the　road？'　the　King　went　on；　holding　out

his　hand　to　the　Messenger　for　some　more　hay。



　　‘Nobody；'　said　the　Messenger。



　　‘Quite　right；'　said　the　King：　　‘this　young　lady　saw　him　too。

So　of　course　Nobody　walks　slower　than　you。'



　　‘I　do　my　best；'　the　Messenger　said　in　a　sulky　tone。　　‘I'm　sure

nobody　walks　much　faster　than　I　do！'



　　‘He　can't　do　that；'　said　the　King；　‘or　else　he'd　have　been　here

first。　　However；　now　you've　got　your　breath；　you　may　tell　us

what's　happened　in　the　town。'



　　‘I'll　whisper　it；'　said　the　Messenger；　putting　his　hands　to　his

mouth　in　the　shape　of　a　trumpet；　and　stooping　so　as　to　get　close

to　the　King's　ear。　　Alice　was　sorry　for　this；　as　she　wanted　to

hear　the　news　too。　　However；　instead　of　whispering；　he　simply

shouted　at　the　top　of　his　voice　‘They're　at　it　again！'



　　‘Do　you　call　THAT　a　whisper？'　cried　the　poor　King；　jumping　up

and　shaking　himself。　　‘If　you　do　such　a　thing　again；　I'll　have

you　buttered！　　It　went　through　and　through　my　head　like　an

earthquake！'



　　‘It　would　have　to　be　a　very　tiny　earthquake！'　thought　Alice。

‘Who　are　at　it　again？'　she　ventured　to　ask。



　　‘Why　the　Lion　and　the　Unicorn；　of　course；'　said　the　King。



　　‘Fighting　for　the　crown？'



　　‘Yes；　to　be　sure；'　said　the　King：　　‘and　the　best　of　the　joke

is；　that　it's　MY　crown　all　the　while！　　Let's　run　and　see　them。'

And　they　trotted　off；　Alice　repeating　to　herself；　as　she　ran；　the

words　of　the　old　song：





　　　　‘The　Lion　and　the　Unicorn　were　fighting　for　the　crown：

　　　　The　Lion　beat　the　Unicorn　all　round　the　town。

　　　　Some　gave　them　white　bread；　some　gave　them　brown；

　　　　Some　gave　them　plum…cake　and　drummed　them　out　of　town。'





　　‘Doesthe　onethat　winsget　the　crown？'　she　asked；　as

well　as　she　could；　for　the　run　was　putting　her　quite　out　of

breath。



　　‘Dear　me；　no！'　said　the　King。　　‘What　an　idea！'



　　‘Would　yoube　good　enough；'　Alice　panted　out；　after　running

a　little　further；　‘to　stop　a　minutejust　to　getone's

breath　again？'



　　‘I'm　GOOD　enough；'　the　King　said；　‘only　I'm　not　strong　enough。

You　see；　a　minute　goes　by　so　fearfully　quick。　　You　might　as　well

try　to　stop　a　Bandersnatch！'



　　Alice　had　no　more　breath　for　talking；　so　they　trotted　on　in

silence；　till　they　came　in　sight　of　a　great　crowd；　in　the　middle

of　which　the　Lion　and　Unicorn　were　fighting。　　They　were　in　such　a

cloud　of　dust；　that　at　first　Alice　could　not　make　out　which　was

which：　　but　she　soon　managed　to　distinguish　the　Unicorn　by　his

horn。



　　They　placed　themselves　close　to　where　Hatta；　the　other

messenger；　was　standing　watching　the　fight；　with　a　cup　of　tea　in

one　hand　and　a　piece　of　bread…and…butter　in　the　other。



　　‘He's　only　just　out　of　prison；　and　he　hadn't　finished　his　tea

when　he　was　sent　in；'　Haigha　whispered　to　Alice：　　‘and　they　only

give　them　oyster…shells　in　thereso　you　see　he's　very　hungry

and　thirsty。　　How　are　you；　dear　child？'　he　went　on；　putting　his

arm　affectionately　round　Hatta's　neck。



　　Hatta　looked　round　and　nodded；　and　went　on　with　his　bread　and

butter。



　　‘Were　you　happy　in　prison；　dear　child？'　said　Haigha。



　　Hatta　looked　round　once　more；　and　this　time　a　tear　or　two

trickled　down　his　cheek：　　but　not　a　word　would　he　say。



　　‘Speak；　can't　you！'　Haigha　cried　impatiently。　　But　Hatta　only

munched　away；　and　drank　some　more　tea。



　　‘Speak；　won't　you！'　cried　the　King。　　'How　are　they　getting　on

with　the　fight？'



　　Hatta　made　a　desperate　effort；　and　swallowed　a　large　piece　of

bread…and…butter。　　‘They're　getting　on　very　well；'　he　said　in　a

choking　voice：　　‘each　of　them　has　been　down　about　eighty…seven

times。'



　　‘Then　I　suppose　they'll　soon　bring　the　white　bread　and　the

brown？'　Alice　ventured　to　remark。



　　‘It's　waiting　for　'em　now；'　said　Hatta：　　‘this　is　a　bit　of　it

as　I'm　eating。'



　　There　was　a　pause　in　the　fight　just　then；　and　the　Lion　and　the

Unicorn　sat　down；　panting；　while　the　King　called　out　‘Ten　minutes

allowed　for　refreshments！'　　Haigha　and　Hatta　set　to　work　at　once；

carrying　rough　trays　of　white　and　brown　bread。　　Alice　took　a

piece　to　taste；　but　it　was　VERY　dry。



　　‘I　don't　think　they'll　fight　any　more　to…day；'　the　King　said　to

Hatta：　　‘go　and　order　the　drums　to　begin。'　　And　Hatta　went

bounding　away　like　a　grasshopper。



　　For　a　minute　or　two　Alice　stood　silent；　watching　him。　　Suddenly

she　brightened　up。　　‘Look；　look！'　she　cried；　pointing　eagerly。

‘There's　the　White　Queen　running　across　the　country！　　She　came

flying　out　of　the　wood　over　yonderHow　fast　those　Queens　CAN

run！'



　　‘There's　some　enemy　after　her；　no　doubt；'　the　King　said；

without　even　looking　round。　　‘That　wood's　full　of　them。'



　　‘But　aren't　you　going　to　run　and　help　her？'　Alice　asked；　very

much　surprised　at　his　taking　it　so　quietly。



　　‘No　use；　no　use！'　said　the　King。　　‘She　runs　so　fearfully　quick。

You　might　as　well　try　to　catch　a　Bandersnatch！　　But　I'll　make　a

memorandum　about　her；　if　you　likeShe's　a　dear　good　creature；'

he　repeated　softly　to　himself；　as　he　opened　his　memorandum…book。

‘Do　you　spell　〃creature〃　with　a　double　〃e〃？'



　　At　this　moment　the　Unicorn　sauntered　by　them；　with　his　hands　in

his　pockets。　　‘I　had　the　best　of　it　this　time？'　he　said　to　the

Ki