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APPENDIX F

German Journals



The daily journals of Hamburg; Frankfort; Baden; Munich;

and Augsburg are all constructed on the same general plan。 

I speak of these because I am more familiar with them

than with any other German papers。  They contain no

〃editorials〃 whatever; no 〃personals〃and this is rather

a merit than a demerit; perhaps; no funny…paragraph column;

no police…court reports; no reports of proceedings

of higher courts; no information about prize…fights

or other dog…fights; horse…races; walking…machines;

yachting…contents; rifle…matches; or other sporting

matters of any sort; no reports of banquet speeches;

no department of curious odds and ends of floating fact

and gossip; no 〃rumors〃 about anything or anybody;

no prognostications or prophecies about anything or anybody;

no lists of patents granted or sought; or any reference

to such things; no abuse of public officials; big or little;

or complaints against them; or praises of them; no religious

columns Saturdays; no rehash of cold sermons Mondays;

no 〃weather indications〃; no 〃local item〃 unveiling of

what is happening in townnothing of a local nature;

indeed; is mentioned; beyond the movements of some prince;

or the proposed meeting of some deliberative body。 



After so formidable a list of what one can't find

in a German daily; the question may well be asked;

What CAN be found in it? It is easily answered: A child's

handful of telegrams; mainly about European national and

international political movements; letter…correspondence about

the same things; market reports。  There you have it。 

That is what a German daily is made of。  A German

daily is the slowest and saddest and dreariest of the

inventions of man。  Our own dailies infuriate the reader;

pretty often; the German daily only stupefies him。 

Once a week the German daily of the highest class lightens

up its heavy columnsthat is; it thinks it lightens

them upwith a profound; an abysmal; book criticism;

a criticism which carries you down; down; down into

the scientific bowels of the subjectfor the German

critic is nothing if not scientificand when you come

up at last and scent the fresh air and see the bonny

daylight once more; you resolve without a dissenting voice

that a book criticism is a mistaken way to lighten up

a German daily。  Sometimes; in place of the criticism;

the first…class daily gives you what it thinks is a gay

and chipper essayabout ancient Grecian funeral customs;

or the ancient Egyptian method of tarring a mummy;

or the reasons for believing that some of the peoples

who existed before the flood did not approve of cats。 

These are not unpleasant subjects; they are not

uninteresting subjects; they are even exciting subjects

until one of these massive scientists gets hold of them。 

He soon convinces you that even these matters can

be handled in such a way as to make a person low…spirited。



As I have said; the average German daily is made up

solely of correspondencesa trifle of it by telegraph;

the rest of it by mail。  Every paragraph has the side…head;

〃London;〃 〃Vienna;〃 or some other town; and a date。 

And always; before the name of the town; is placed a letter

or a sign; to indicate who the correspondent is; so that

the authorities can find him when they want to hang him。 

Stars; crosses; triangles; squares; half…moons; suns

such are some of the signs used by correspondents。 



Some of the dailies move too fast; others too slowly。 

For instance; my Heidelberg daily was always twenty…four

hours old when it arrived at the hotel; but one of my

Munich evening papers used to come a full twenty…four hours

before it was due。 



Some of the less important dailies give one a tablespoonful

of a continued story every day; it is strung across

the bottom of the page; in the French fashion。 

By subscribing for the paper for five years I judge that

a man might succeed in getting pretty much all of the story。 



If you ask a citizen of Munich which is the best Munich

daily journal; he will always tell you that there is

only one good Munich daily; and that it is published

in Augsburg; forty or fifty miles away。  It is like saying

that the best daily paper in New York is published out

in New Jersey somewhere。  Yes; the Augsburg ALLGEMEINE

ZEITUNG is 〃the best Munich paper;〃 and it is the one I

had in my mind when I was describing a 〃first…class

German daily〃 above。  The entire paper; opened out; is not

quite as large as a single page of the New York HERALD。 

It is printed on both sides; of course; but in such large

type that its entire contents could be put; in HERALD type;

upon a single page of the HERALDand there would still

be room enough on the page for the ZEITUNG's 〃supplement〃

and some portion of the ZEITUNG's next day's contents。 



Such is the first…class daily。  The dailies actually printed

in Munich are all called second…class by the public。 

If you ask which is the best of these second…class

papers they say there is no difference; one is as good

as another。  I have preserved a copy of one of them;

it is called the MU〃NCHENER TAGES…ANZEIGER; and bears

date January 25; 1879。  Comparisons are odious;

but they need not be malicious; and without any malice

I wish to compare this journals of other countries。 

I know of no other way to enable the reader to 〃size〃

the thing。 



A column of an average daily paper in America contains

from 1;800 to 2;500 words; the reading…matter in a

single issue consists of from 25;000 to 50;000 words。 

The reading…matter in my copy of the Munich journal

consists of a total of 1;654 words for I counted them。 

That would be nearly a column of one of our dailies。 

A single issue of the bulkiest daily newspaper in the

worldthe London TIMESoften contains 100;000 words

of reading…matter。 Considering that the DAILY ANZEIGER

issues the usual twenty…six numbers per month; the reading

matter in a single number of the London TIMES would keep it

in 〃copy〃 two months and a half。 



The ANZEIGER is an eight…page paper; its page is one

inch wider and one inch longer than a foolscap page;

that is to say; the dimensions of its page are somewhere

between those of a schoolboy's slate and a lady's

pocket handkerchief。  One…fourth of the first page is

taken up with the heading of the journal; this gives it

a rather top…heavy appearance; the rest of the first page

is reading…matter; all of the second page is reading…matter;

the other six pages are devoted to advertisements。 



The reading…matter is compressed into two hundred

and five small…pica lines; and is lighted up with eight

pica headlines。  The bill of fare is as follows: First;

under a pica headline; to enforce attention and respect;

is a four…line sermon urging mankind to remember that;

although they are pilgrims here below; they are yet heirs

of heaven; and that 〃When they depart from earth they soar

to heaven。〃 Perhaps a four…line sermon in a Saturday paper

is the sufficient German equivalent of the eight or ten

columns of sermons which the New…Yorkers get in their

Monday morning papers。  The latest news (two days old)

follows the four…line sermon; under the pica headline

〃Telegrams〃these are 〃telegraphed〃 with a pair of

scissors out of the AUGSBURGER ZEITUNG of the day before。 

These telegrams consist of fourteen and two…thirds lines

from Berlin; fifteen lines from Vienna; and two and five…eights

lines from Calcutta。  Thirty…three small…pica lines news

in a daily journal in a King's Capital of one hundred and

seventy thousand inhabitants is surely not an overdose。 

Next we have the pica heading; 〃News of the Day;〃

under which the following facts are set forth: Prince

Leopold is going on a visit to Vienna; six lines;

Prince Arnulph is coming back from Russia; two lines;

the Landtag will meet at ten o'clock in the morning and

consider an election law; three lines and one word over;

a city government item; five and one…half lines;

prices of tickets to the proposed grand Charity Ball;

twenty…three linesfor this one item occupies almost

one…fourth of the entire first page; there is to be

a wonderful Wagner concert in Frankfurt…on…the…Main;

with an orchestra of one hundred and eight instruments;

seven and one…half lines。  That concludes the first page。 

Eighty…five lines; altogether; on that page;

including three headlines。  About fifty of those lines;

as one perceives; deal with local matters; so the reporters

are not overworked。 



Exactly one…half of the second page is occupied with

an opera criticism; fifty…three lines (three of them

being headlines); and 〃Death Notices;〃 ten lines。 



The other half of the second page is made up of two

paragraphs under the head of 〃Miscellaneous News。〃

One of these paragraphs tells about a quarrel between the Czar

of Russia and his eldest son; twenty…one and a half lines;

and the other tells about the atrocious destruction of a

peasant child by its parents; forty lines; or one…fifth

of the total of the reading…matter contained in the paper。 



Consider what a fifth part of the reading…matter of an American

daily paper issued in a city of one hundred and seventy

thousand inhabitants amounts to! Think what a mass it is。 

Would any one suppose I could so snugly tuck away such a

mass in a chapter of this book that it would be difficult

to find it again in the reader lost his place? Surely not。 

I will translate that child…murder word for word;

to give the reader a realizing sense of what a fifth

part of the reading…matter of a Munich daily actually

is when it comes under measurement of the eye:



〃From Oberkreuzberg; January 21st; the DONAU ZEITUNG

receives a long account of a crime; which we shortened

as follows: In Rametuach; a village near Eppenschlag;

lived a young married couple with two children; one of which;

a boy aged five; was born three y

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