villa rubein and other stories-第23部分
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step； one moment of courage！ Why had she not told her uncle？ If he
had only asked！ But whywhy should she tell him？ When it was over
and she was gone； he would see that all was for the best。
Her eyes fell on Greta's empty bed。 She sprang up； and bending over；
kissed the pillow。 'She will mind at first； but she's so young！
Nobody will really miss me； except Uncle Nic！' She stood along while
in the window without moving。 When she was dressed she called out to
her maid：
〃Bring me some milk； Barbi； I'm going to church。〃
〃Ach！ gnadiges Frdulein； will you no breakfast have？〃
〃No thank you； Barbi。〃
〃Liebes Fraulein； what a beautiful morning after the rain it has
become！ How cool！ It is for you goodfor the colour in your
cheeks； now they will bloom again！〃 and Barbi stroked her own well…
coloured cheeks。
Dominique； sunning himself outside with a cloth across his arm； bowed
as she passed； and smiled affectionately：
〃He is better this morning； M'mselle。 We marchwe are getting on。
Good news will put the heart into you。〃
Christian thought： 'How sweet every one is to…day！'
Even the Villa seemed to greet her； with the sun aslant on it； and
the trees； trembling and weeping golden tears。 At the cathedral she
was early for the service； but here and there were figures on their
knees； the faint； sickly odour of long…burnt incense clung in the
air； a priest moved silently at the far end。 She knelt； and when at
last she rose the service had begun。 With the sound of the intoning
a sense of peace came to herthe peace of resolution。 For good or
bad she felt that she had faced her fate。
She went out with a look of quiet serenity and walked home along the
dyke。 Close to Harz's studio she sat down。 Nowit was her own； all
that had belonged to him； that had ever had a part in him。
An old beggar； who had been watching her； came gently from behind。
〃Gracious lady！〃 he said； peering at her eyes； 〃this is the lucky day
for you。 I have lost my luck。〃
Christian opened her purse； there was only one coin in it； a gold
piece； the beggar's eyes sparkled。
She thought suddenly： 'It's no longer mine； I must begin to be
careful；' but she felt ashamed when she looked at the old man。
〃I am sorry；〃 she said； 〃yesterday I would have given you this； but
but now it's already given。〃
He seemed so old and poorwhat could she give him？ She unhooked a
little silver brooch at her throat。 〃You will get something for
that；〃 she said； 〃it's better than nothing。 I am very sorry you are
so old and poor。〃
The beggar crossed himself。 〃Gracious lady；〃 he muttered； 〃may you
never want！〃
Christian hurried on； the rustling of leaves soon carried the words
away。 She did not feel inclined to go in； and crossing the bridge
began to climb the hill。 There was a gentle breeze； drifting the
clouds across the sun； lizards darted out over the walls； looked at
her； and whisked away。
The sunshine； dappling through the tops of trees； gashed down on a
torrent。 The earth smelt sweet； the vineyards round the white farms
glistened； everything seemed to leap and dance with sap and life； it
was a moment of Spring in midsummer。 Christian walked on； wondering
at her own happiness。
'Am I heartless？' she thought。 'I am going to leave himI am going
into life； I shall have to fight now； there'll be no looking back。'
The path broke away and wound down to the level of the torrent； on
the other side it rose again； and was lost among trees。 The woods
were dank； she hastened home。
In her room she began to pack； sorting and tearing up old letters。
'Only one thing matters；' she thought； 'singleness of heart； to see
your way； and keep to it with all your might。'
She looked up and saw Barbi standing before her with towels in her
hands； and a scared face。
〃Are you going a journey； gnadiges Fraulein？〃
〃I am going away to be married； Barbi；〃 said Christian at last；
〃don't speak of it to any one； please。〃
Barbi leant a little forward with the towels clasped to the blue
cotton bosom of her dress。
〃No； no！ I will not speak。 But； dear Fraulein； that is a big
matter； have you well thought？〃
〃Thought； Barbi？ Have I not！〃
〃But； dear FrauIein； will you be rich？〃
〃No！ I shall be as poor as you。〃
〃Ach！ dear God！ that is terrible。 Katrina； my sister； she is
married； she tells me all her life； she tells me it is very hard； and
but for the money in her stocking it would be harder。 Dear Fraulein；
think again！ And is he good？ Sometimes they are not good。〃
〃He is good；〃 said Christian； rising； 〃it is all settled！〃 and she
kissed Barbi on the cheek。
〃You are crying； liebes Fraulein！ Think yet again； perhaps it is not
quite all settled； it is not possible that a maiden should not a way
out leave？〃
Christian smiled。 〃I don't do things that way； Barbi。〃
Barbi hung the towels on the horse； and crossed herself。
Mr。 Treffry's gaze was fixed on a tortoise…shell butterfly fluttering
round the ceiling。 The insect seemed to fascinate him； as things
which move quickly always fascinate the helpless。 Christian came
softly in。
〃Couldn't stay in bed； Chris；〃 he called out with an air of guilt。
〃The heat was something awful。 The doctor piped off in a huff； just
because o' this。〃 He motioned towards a jug of claret…cup and a pipe
on the table by his elbow。 〃I was only looking at 'em。〃
Christian； sitting down beside him； took up a fan。
〃If I could get out of this heat〃 he said； and closed his eyes。
'I must tell him；' she thought； 'I can't slink away。'
〃Pour me out some of that stuff； Chris。〃
She reached for the jug。 Yes！ She must tell him！ Her heart sank。
Mr。 Treffry took a lengthy draught。 〃Broken my promise； don't
matterwon't hurt any one but me。〃 He took up the pipe and pressed
tobacco into it。 〃I've been lying here with this pain going right
through me； and never a smoke！ D'you tell me anything the parsons
say can do me half the good of this pipe？〃 He leaned back； steeped
in a luxury of satisfaction。 He went on； pursuing a private train of
thought： 〃Things have changed a lot since my young days。 When I was
a youngster； a young fellow had to look out for peck and perchhe
put the future in his pocket。 He did well or not； according as he
had stuff in him。 Now he's not content with that； it seemstrades
on his own opinion of himself； thinks he is what he says he's going
to be。〃
〃You are unjust；〃 said Christian。
Mr。 Treffry grunted。 〃Ah； well！ I like to know where I am。 If I
lend money to a man； I like to know whether he's going to pay it
back； I may not care whether he does or not； but I like to know。 The
same with other things。 I don't care what a man hasthough； mind
you； Chris； it's not a bad rule that measures men by the balance at
their banks； but when it comes to marriage； there's a very simple
rule； What's not enough for one is not enough for two。 You can't
talk black white； or bread into your mouth。 I don't care to speak
about myself； as you know； Chris； but I tell you thiswhen I came to
London I wanted to marryI hadn't any money； and I had to want。
When I had the moneybut that's neither here nor there！〃 He
frowned； fingering his pipe。
〃I didn't ask her； Chris； I didn't think it the square thing； it
seems that's out of fashion！〃
Christian's cheeks were burning。
〃I think a lot while I lie here；〃 Mr。 Treffry went on； 〃nothing much
else to do。 What I ask myself is this： What do you know about what's
best for you？ What do you know of life？ Take it or leave it； life's
not all you think； it's give and get all the way； a fair start is
everything。〃
Christian thought： 'Will he never see？'
Mr。 Treffry went on：
〃I get better every day； but I can't last for ever。 It's not
pleasant to lie here and know that when I'm gone there'll be no one
to keep a hand on the check string！〃
〃Don't talk like that； dear！〃 Christian murmured。
〃It's no use blinking facts； Chris。 I've lived a long time in the
world； I've seen things pretty well as they are； and now there's not
much left for me to think about but you。〃
〃But； Uncle； if you loved him； as I do； you couldn't tell me to be
afraid！ It's cowardly and mean to be afraid。 You must have
forgotten！〃
Mr。 Treffry closed his eyes。
〃Yes；〃 he said； 〃I'm old。〃
The fan had dropped into Christian's lap； it rested on her white
frock like a large crimson leaf； her eyes were fixed on it。
Mr。 Treffry looked at her。 〃Have you heard from him？〃 he asked with
sudden intuition。
〃Last night； in that room； when you thought I was talking to
Dominique〃
The pipe fell from his hand。
〃What！〃 he stammered： 〃Back？〃
Christian； without looking up； said：
〃Yes； he's back； he wants meI must go to him； Uncle。〃
There was a long silence。
〃You must go to him？〃 he repeated。
She longed to fling herself down at his knees； but he was so still；
that to move seemed impossible； she remained silent； with folded
hands。
Mr。 Treffry spoke：
〃You'll let me knowbeforeyougo。 Goodnight！〃
Christian stole out into the passage。 A bead curtain rustled in the
draught； voices reached her。
〃My honour is involved； or I would give the case up。〃
〃He is very trying； poor Nicholas！ He always had that peculiar
quality of opposition； it has brought him to grief a hundred times。
There is opposition in our blood； my family all have it。 My eldest
brother died of it； with my poor sister； who was as gentle as a lamb；
it took the form of doing the right thing in the wrong place。 It is
a matter of temperament； you see。 You must have patience。〃
〃Patience；〃 repeated Dawney's voice； 〃is one thing； patience where
there is responsibility is another。 I've not ha
