the egoist-第101部分
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the afternoon。 The fact isI fancy you'll think yourself lured
down here on false pretences: but the truth is; I am not so much
to blame as the world will suppose。 In point of fact; to be brief;
Miss Dale and I 。。。 I never consult other men how they would have
acted。 The fact of the matter is; Miss Middleton 。。。 I fancy you
have partly guessed it。〃
〃Partly;〃 said De Craye。
〃Well; she has a liking that way; and if it should turn out strong
enough; it's the best arrangement I can think of;〃 The lively play
of the colonel's features fixed in a blank inquiry。
〃One can back a good friend for making a good husband;〃 said
Willoughby。 〃I could not break with her in the present stage of
affairs without seeing to that。 And I can speak of her highly;
though she and I have seen in time that we do not suit one
another。 My wife must have brains。〃
〃I have always thought it;〃 said Colonel De Craye; glistening; and
looking hungry as a wolf through his wonderment。
〃There will not be a word against her; you understand。 You know my
dislike of tattle and gossip。 However; let it fall on me; my
shoulders are broad。 I have done my utmost to persuade her; and
there seems a likelihood of her consenting。 She tells me her wish
is to please me; and this will please me。〃
〃Certainly。 Who's the gentleman?〃
〃My best friend; I tell you。 I could hardly have proposed another。
Allow this business to go on smoothly just now。〃 There was an
uproar within the colonel to blind his wits; and Willoughby looked
so friendly that it was possible to suppose the man of projects
had mentioned his best friend to Miss Middleton。
And who was the best friend?
Not having accused himself of treachery; the quick…eyed colonel
was duped。
〃Have you his name handy; Willoughby?〃
〃That would be unfair to him at present; Horaceask yourself
and to her。 Things are in a ticklish posture at present。 Don't be
hasty。〃
〃Certainly。 I don't ask。 Initials'll do。〃
〃You have a remarkable aptitude for guessing; Horace; and this
case offers you no tough problemif ever you acknowledged
toughness。 I have a regard for her and for himfor both pretty
equally; you know I have; and I should be thoroughly thankful to
bring the matter about。〃
〃Lordly!〃 said De Craye。
〃I don't see it。 I call it sensible。〃
〃Oh; undoubtedly。 The style; I mean。 Tolerably antique?〃
〃Novel; I should say; and not the worse for that。 We want plain
practical dealings between men and women。 Usually we go the wrong
way to work。 And I loathe sentimental rubbish。〃
De Craye hummed an air。 〃But the lady?〃 said he。
〃I told you; there seems a likelihood of her consenting。〃
Willoughby's fish gave a perceptible little leap now that he had
been taught to exercise his aptitude for guessing。
〃Without any of the customary preliminaries on the side of the
gentleman?〃 he said。
〃We must put him through his paces; friend Horace。 He's a
notorious blunderer with women; hasn't a word for them; never
marked a conquest。〃
De Craye crested his plumes under the agreeable banter。 He
presented a face humourously sceptical。
〃The lady is positively not indisposed to give the poor fellow a
hearing?〃
〃I have cause to think she is not;〃 said Willoughby; glad of
acting the indifference to her which could talk of her
inclinations。
〃Cause?〃
〃Good cause。〃
〃Bless us!〃
〃As good as one can have with a woman。〃
〃Ah?〃
〃I assure you。〃
〃Ah! Does it seem like her; though?〃
〃Well; she wouldn't engage herself to accept him。〃
〃Well; that seems more like her。〃
〃But she said she could engage to marry no one else。〃
The colonel sprang up; crying: 〃Clara Middleton said it?〃 He
curbed himself 〃That's a bit of wonderful compliancy。〃
〃She wishes to please me。 We separate on those terms。 And I wish
her happiness。 I've developed a heart lately and taken to think of
others。〃
〃Nothing better。 You appear to make cock sure of the other party
our friend?〃
〃You know him too well; Horace; to doubt his readiness。〃
〃Do you; Willoughby?〃
〃She has money and good looks。 Yes; I can say I do。〃
〃It wouldn't be much of a man who'd want hard pulling to that
lighted altar!〃
〃And if he requires persuasion; you and I; Horace; might bring him
to his senses。〃
〃Kicking; 〃t would be!〃
〃I like to see everybody happy about me;〃 said Willoughby; naming
the hour as time to dress for dinner。
The sentiment he had delivered was De Craye's excuse for grasping
his hand and complimenting him; but the colonel betrayed himself
by doing it with an extreme fervour almost tremulous。
〃When shall we hear more?〃 he said。
〃Oh; probably to…morrow;〃 said Willoughby。 〃Don't he in such a
hurry。〃
〃I'm an infant asleep!〃 the colonel replied; departing。
He resembled one; to Willoughby's mind: or a traitor drugged。
〃There is a fellow I thought had some brains!〃
Who are not fools to beset spinning if we choose to whip them with
their vanity! it is the consolation of the great to watch them
spin。 But the pleasure is loftier; and may comfort our unmerited
misfortune for a while; in making a false friend drunk。
Willoughby; among his many preoccupations; had the satisfaction of
seeing the effect of drunkenness on Horace De Craye when the
latter was in Clara's presence。 He could have laughed。 Cut in keen
epigram were the marginal notes added by him to that chapter of
The Book which treats of friends and a woman; and had he not been
profoundly preoccupied; troubled by recent intelligence
communicated by the ladies; his aunts; he would have played the
two together for the royal amusement afforded him by his friend
Horace。
CHAPTER XLVIII
The Lovers
The hour was close upon eleven at night。 Laetitia sat in the room
adjoining her father's bedchamber。 Her elbow was on the table
beside her chair; and two fingers pressed her temples。 The state
between thinking and feeling; when both are molten and flow by us;
is one of our natures coming after thought has quieted the fiery
nerves; and can do no more。 She seemed to be meditating。 She was
conscious only of a struggle past。
She answered a tap at the door; and raised her eyes on Clara。
Clara stepped softly。 〃Mr。 Dale is asleep?〃
〃I hope so。〃
〃Ah! dear friend。〃
Laetitia let her hand be pressed。
〃Have you had a pleasant evening?〃
〃Mr。 Whitford and papa have gone to the library。〃
〃Colonel De Craye has been singing?〃
〃Yeswith a voice! I thought of you upstairs; but could not ask
him to sing piano。〃
〃He is probably exhilarated。〃
〃One would suppose it: he sang well。〃
〃You are not aware of any reason?〃
〃It cannot concern me。〃
Clara was in rosy colour; but could meet a steady gaze。
〃And Crossjay has gone to bed?〃
〃Long since。 He was at dessert。 He would not touch anything。〃
〃He is a strange boy。〃
〃Not very strange; Laetitia。〃
〃He did not come to me to wish me good…night。〃
〃That is not strange。〃
〃It is his habit at the cottage and here; and he professes to like
me。〃
〃Oh; he does。 I may have wakened his enthusiasm; but you he
loves。〃
〃Why do you say it is not strange; Clara?〃
〃He fears you a little。〃
〃And why should Crossjay fear me?〃
〃Dear; I will tell you。 Last nightYou will forgive him; for it
was by accident: his own bed…room door was locked and he ran down
to the drawing…room and curled himself up on the ottoman; and fell
asleep; under that padded silken coverlet of the ladiesboots
and all; I am afraid!〃
Laetitia profited by this absurd allusion; thanking Clara in her
heart for the refuge。
〃He should have taken off his boots;〃 she said。
〃He slept there; and woke up。 Dear; he meant no harm。 Next day he
repeated what he had heard。 You will blame him。 He meant well in
his poor boy's head。 And now it is over the county。 Ah! do not
frown。〃
〃That explains Lady Busshe!〃 exclaimed Laetitia。
〃Dear; dear friend;〃 said Clara。 〃WhyI presume on your
tenderness for me; but let me: to…morrow I gowhy will you
reject your happiness? Those kind good ladies are deeply troubled。
They say your resolution is inflexible; you resist their
entreaties and your father's。 Can it be that you have any doubt of
the strength of this attachment? I have none。 I have never had a
doubt that it was the strongest of his feelings。 If before I go I
could see you 。。。 both happy; I should be relieved; I should
rejoice。〃
Laetitia said; quietly: 〃Do you remember a walk we had one day
together to the cottage?〃
Clara put up her hands with the motion of intending to stop her
ears。
〃Before I go!〃 said she。 〃If I might know this was to be; which
all desire; before I leave; I should not feel as I do now。 I long
to see you happy 。。。 him; yes; him too。 Is it like asking you to
pay my debt? Then; please! But; no; I am not more than partly
selfish on this occasion。 He has won my gratitude。 He can be
really generous。〃
〃An Egoist?〃
〃Who is?〃
〃You have forgotten our conversation on the day of our walk to the
cottage?〃
〃Help me to forget itthat day; and those days; and all those
days! I should be glad to think I passed a time beneath the earth;
and have risen again。 I was the Egoist。 I am sure; if I had been
buried; I should not have stood up seeing myself more vilely
stained; soiled; disfiguredoh! Help me to forget my conduct;
Laetitia。 He and I were unsuitedand I remember I blamed myself
then。 You and he are not: and now I can perceive the pride that
can be felt in him。 The worst that can be said is that he schemes
too much。〃
〃Is there any fresh scheme?〃 said Laetitia。
The rose came over Clara's face。
〃You have not heard? It was impossible; but it was kindly
intended。 Judging by my own feeling at this moment; I can
understand his。 We love to see our friends established。〃
Laetitia bowed。 〃My curiosity is piqued; of course。〃
〃Dear friend; to…morrow we shall be parted。 I trust to be thought
of by you as a little better in grain than I have appeared; and my
reason for trusting it is that I know I have been always honest
a boorish young woman in my stupid mad impatience: but not
insincere。 It is no lofty ambition to desire to be remembered in
that character; but such is your Clara; she disco