the egoist-第101部分

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the　afternoon。　The　fact　isI　fancy　you'll　think　yourself　lured
down　here　on　false　pretences：　but　the　truth　is；　I　am　not　so　much
to　blame　as　the　world　will　suppose。　In　point　of　fact；　to　be　brief；
Miss　Dale　and　I　。。。　I　never　consult　other　men　how　they　would　have
acted。　The　fact　of　the　matter　is；　Miss　Middleton　。。。　I　fancy　you
have　partly　guessed　it。〃

〃Partly；〃　said　De　Craye。

〃Well；　she　has　a　liking　that　way；　and　if　it　should　turn　out　strong
enough；　it's　the　best　arrangement　I　can　think　of；〃　The　lively　play
of　the　colonel's　features　fixed　in　a　blank　inquiry。

〃One　can　back　a　good　friend　for　making　a　good　husband；〃　said
Willoughby。　〃I　could　not　break　with　her　in　the　present　stage　of
affairs　without　seeing　to　that。　And　I　can　speak　of　her　highly；
though　she　and　I　have　seen　in　time　that　we　do　not　suit　one
another。　My　wife　must　have　brains。〃

〃I　have　always　thought　it；〃　said　Colonel　De　Craye；　glistening；　and
looking　hungry　as　a　wolf　through　his　wonderment。

〃There　will　not　be　a　word　against　her；　you　understand。　You　know　my
dislike　of　tattle　and　gossip。　However；　let　it　fall　on　me；　my
shoulders　are　broad。　I　have　done　my　utmost　to　persuade　her；　and
there　seems　a　likelihood　of　her　consenting。　She　tells　me　her　wish
is　to　please　me；　and　this　will　please　me。〃

〃Certainly。　Who's　the　gentleman？〃

〃My　best　friend；　I　tell　you。　I　could　hardly　have　proposed　another。
Allow　this　business　to　go　on　smoothly　just　now。〃　There　was　an
uproar　within　the　colonel　to　blind　his　wits；　and　Willoughby　looked
so　friendly　that　it　was　possible　to　suppose　the　man　of　projects
had　mentioned　his　best　friend　to　Miss　Middleton。

And　who　was　the　best　friend？

Not　having　accused　himself　of　treachery；　the　quick…eyed　colonel
was　duped。

〃Have　you　his　name　handy；　Willoughby？〃

〃That　would　be　unfair　to　him　at　present；　Horaceask　yourself
and　to　her。　Things　are　in　a　ticklish　posture　at　present。　Don't　be
hasty。〃

〃Certainly。　I　don't　ask。　Initials'll　do。〃

〃You　have　a　remarkable　aptitude　for　guessing；　Horace；　and　this
case　offers　you　no　tough　problemif　ever　you　acknowledged　
toughness。　I　have　a　regard　for　her　and　for　himfor　both　pretty
equally；　you　know　I　have；　and　I　should　be　thoroughly　thankful　to
bring　the　matter　about。〃

〃Lordly！〃　said　De　Craye。

〃I　don't　see　it。　I　call　it　sensible。〃

〃Oh；　undoubtedly。　The　style；　I　mean。　Tolerably　antique？〃　

〃Novel；　I　should　say；　and　not　the　worse　for　that。　We　want　plain
practical　dealings　between　men　and　women。　Usually　we　go　the　wrong
way　to　work。　And　I　loathe　sentimental　rubbish。〃

De　Craye　hummed　an　air。　〃But　the　lady？〃　said　he。

〃I　told　you；　there　seems　a　likelihood　of　her　consenting。〃

Willoughby's　fish　gave　a　perceptible　little　leap　now　that　he　had
been　taught　to　exercise　his　aptitude　for　guessing。

〃Without　any　of　the　customary　preliminaries　on　the　side　of　the
gentleman？〃　he　said。

〃We　must　put　him　through　his　paces；　friend　Horace。　He's　a
notorious　blunderer　with　women；　hasn't　a　word　for　them；　never
marked　a　conquest。〃

De　Craye　crested　his　plumes　under　the　agreeable　banter。　He
presented　a　face　humourously　sceptical。

〃The　lady　is　positively　not　indisposed　to　give　the　poor　fellow　a
hearing？〃

〃I　have　cause　to　think　she　is　not；〃　said　Willoughby；　glad　of
acting　the　indifference　to　her　which　could　talk　of　her
inclinations。

〃Cause？〃

〃Good　cause。〃

〃Bless　us！〃

〃As　good　as　one　can　have　with　a　woman。〃

〃Ah？〃

〃I　assure　you。〃

〃Ah！　Does　it　seem　like　her；　though？〃

〃Well；　she　wouldn't　engage　herself　to　accept　him。〃

〃Well；　that　seems　more　like　her。〃

〃But　she　said　she　could　engage　to　marry　no　one　else。〃

The　colonel　sprang　up；　crying：　〃Clara　Middleton　said　it？〃　He
curbed　himself　〃That's　a　bit　of　wonderful　compliancy。〃

〃She　wishes　to　please　me。　We　separate　on　those　terms。　And　I　wish
her　happiness。　I've　developed　a　heart　lately　and　taken　to　think　of
others。〃

〃Nothing　better。　You　appear　to　make　cock　sure　of　the　other　party
our　friend？〃

〃You　know　him　too　well；　Horace；　to　doubt　his　readiness。〃　

〃Do　you；　Willoughby？〃

〃She　has　money　and　good　looks。　Yes；　I　can　say　I　do。〃

〃It　wouldn't　be　much　of　a　man　who'd　want　hard　pulling　to　that
lighted　altar！〃

〃And　if　he　requires　persuasion；　you　and　I；　Horace；　might　bring　him
to　his　senses。〃

〃Kicking；　〃t　would　be！〃

〃I　like　to　see　everybody　happy　about　me；〃　said　Willoughby；　naming
the　hour　as　time　to　dress　for　dinner。

The　sentiment　he　had　delivered　was　De　Craye's　excuse　for　grasping
his　hand　and　complimenting　him；　but　the　colonel　betrayed　himself
by　doing　it　with　an　extreme　fervour　almost　tremulous。

〃When　shall　we　hear　more？〃　he　said。

〃Oh；　probably　to…morrow；〃　said　Willoughby。　〃Don't　he　in　such　a
hurry。〃

〃I'm　an　infant　asleep！〃　the　colonel　replied；　departing。　

He　resembled　one；　to　Willoughby's　mind：　or　a　traitor　drugged。

〃There　is　a　fellow　I　thought　had　some　brains！〃

Who　are　not　fools　to　beset　spinning　if　we　choose　to　whip　them　with
their　vanity！　it　is　the　consolation　of　the　great　to　watch　them
spin。　But　the　pleasure　is　loftier；　and　may　comfort　our　unmerited
misfortune　for　a　while；　in　making　a　false　friend　drunk。

Willoughby；　among　his　many　preoccupations；　had　the　satisfaction　of
seeing　the　effect　of　drunkenness　on　Horace　De　Craye　when　the
latter　was　in　Clara's　presence。　He　could　have　laughed。　Cut　in　keen
epigram　were　the　marginal　notes　added　by　him　to　that　chapter　of
The　Book　which　treats　of　friends　and　a　woman；　and　had　he　not　been
profoundly　preoccupied；　troubled　by　recent　intelligence
communicated　by　the　ladies；　his　aunts；　he　would　have　played　the
two　together　for　the　royal　amusement　afforded　him　by　his　friend
Horace。



CHAPTER　XLVIII

The　Lovers

The　hour　was　close　upon　eleven　at　night。　Laetitia　sat　in　the　room
adjoining　her　father's　bedchamber。　Her　elbow　was　on　the　table
beside　her　chair；　and　two　fingers　pressed　her　temples。　The　state
between　thinking　and　feeling；　when　both　are　molten　and　flow　by　us；
is　one　of　our　natures　coming　after　thought　has　quieted　the　fiery
nerves；　and　can　do　no　more。　She　seemed　to　be　meditating。　She　was
conscious　only　of　a　struggle　past。

She　answered　a　tap　at　the　door；　and　raised　her　eyes　on　Clara。
Clara　stepped　softly。　〃Mr。　Dale　is　asleep？〃

〃I　hope　so。〃

〃Ah！　dear　friend。〃

Laetitia　let　her　hand　be　pressed。

〃Have　you　had　a　pleasant　evening？〃

〃Mr。　Whitford　and　papa　have　gone　to　the　library。〃

〃Colonel　De　Craye　has　been　singing？〃

〃Yeswith　a　voice！　I　thought　of　you　upstairs；　but　could　not　ask
him　to　sing　piano。〃

〃He　is　probably　exhilarated。〃

〃One　would　suppose　it：　he　sang　well。〃

〃You　are　not　aware　of　any　reason？〃

〃It　cannot　concern　me。〃

Clara　was　in　rosy　colour；　but　could　meet　a　steady　gaze。

〃And　Crossjay　has　gone　to　bed？〃

〃Long　since。　He　was　at　dessert。　He　would　not　touch　anything。〃

〃He　is　a　strange　boy。〃

〃Not　very　strange；　Laetitia。〃

〃He　did　not　come　to　me　to　wish　me　good…night。〃

〃That　is　not　strange。〃

〃It　is　his　habit　at　the　cottage　and　here；　and　he　professes　to　like
me。〃

〃Oh；　he　does。　I　may　have　wakened　his　enthusiasm；　but　you　he
loves。〃

〃Why　do　you　say　it　is　not　strange；　Clara？〃

〃He　fears　you　a　little。〃

〃And　why　should　Crossjay　fear　me？〃

〃Dear；　I　will　tell　you。　Last　nightYou　will　forgive　him；　for　it
was　by　accident：　his　own　bed…room　door　was　locked　and　he　ran　down
to　the　drawing…room　and　curled　himself　up　on　the　ottoman；　and　fell
asleep；　under　that　padded　silken　coverlet　of　the　ladiesboots
and　all；　I　am　afraid！〃

Laetitia　profited　by　this　absurd　allusion；　thanking　Clara　in　her
heart　for　the　refuge。

〃He　should　have　taken　off　his　boots；〃　she　said。

〃He　slept　there；　and　woke　up。　Dear；　he　meant　no　harm。　　Next　day　he
repeated　what　he　had　heard。　You　will　blame　him。　He　meant　well　in
his　poor　boy's　head。　And　now　it　is　over　the　county。　　Ah！　do　not
frown。〃

〃That　explains　Lady　Busshe！〃　exclaimed　Laetitia。

〃Dear；　dear　friend；〃　said　Clara。　〃WhyI　presume　on　your
tenderness　for　me；　but　let　me：　to…morrow　I　gowhy　will　you
reject　your　happiness？　Those　kind　good　ladies　are　deeply　troubled。
They　say　your　resolution　is　inflexible；　you　resist　their
entreaties　and　your　father's。　Can　it　be　that　you　have　any　doubt　of
the　strength　of　this　attachment？　I　have　none。　I　have　never　had　a
doubt　that　it　was　the　strongest　of　his　feelings。　If　before　I　go　I
could　see　you　。。。　both　happy；　I　should　be　relieved；　I　should
rejoice。〃

Laetitia　said；　quietly：　〃Do　you　remember　a　walk　we　had　one　day
together　to　the　cottage？〃

Clara　put　up　her　hands　with　the　motion　of　intending　to　stop　her
ears。

〃Before　I　go！〃　said　she。　〃If　I　might　know　this　was　to　be；　which
all　desire；　before　I　leave；　I　should　not　feel　as　I　do　now。　I　long
to　see　you　happy　。。。　him；　yes；　him　too。　Is　it　like　asking　you　to
pay　my　debt？　Then；　please！　But；　no；　I　am　not　more　than　partly
selfish　on　this　occasion。　He　has　won　my　gratitude。　He　can　be
really　generous。〃

〃An　Egoist？〃

〃Who　is？〃

〃You　have　forgotten　our　conversation　on　the　day　of　our　walk　to　the
cottage？〃

〃Help　me　to　forget　itthat　day；　and　those　days；　and　all　those
days！　I　should　be　glad　to　think　I　passed　a　time　beneath　the　earth；
and　have　risen　again。　I　was　the　Egoist。　I　am　sure；　if　I　had　been
buried；　I　should　not　have　stood　up　seeing　myself　more　vilely
stained；　soiled；　disfiguredoh！　Help　me　to　forget　my　conduct；
Laetitia。　He　and　I　were　unsuitedand　I　remember　I　blamed　myself
then。　You　and　he　are　not：　and　now　I　can　perceive　the　pride　that
can　be　felt　in　him。　The　worst　that　can　be　said　is　that　he　schemes
too　much。〃

〃Is　there　any　fresh　scheme？〃　said　Laetitia。

The　rose　came　over　Clara's　face。

〃You　have　not　heard？　It　was　impossible；　but　it　was　kindly
intended。　Judging　by　my　own　feeling　at　this　moment；　I　can
understand　his。　We　love　to　see　our　friends　established。〃　

Laetitia　bowed。　〃My　curiosity　is　piqued；　of　course。〃

〃Dear　friend；　to…morrow　we　shall　be　parted。　I　trust　to　be　thought
of　by　you　as　a　little　better　in　grain　than　I　have　appeared；　and　my
reason　for　trusting　it　is　that　I　know　I　have　been　always　honest
a　boorish　young　woman　in　my　stupid　mad　impatience：　but　not
insincere。　It　is　no　lofty　ambition　to　desire　to　be　remembered　in
that　character；　but　such　is　your　Clara；　she　disco