the egoist-第104部分

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for　her　hand！　I　know　these　two　damp　dead　leaves　I　wear　on　my
cheeks　to　remind　me　of　midnight　vigils。　　But　you　have　slept　well；
Clara。〃

〃I　have　slept　well；　and　yet　I　could　say　I　have　not　slept　at　all；
Laetitia。　I　was　with　you；　dear；　part　in　dream　and　part　in　thought：
hoping　to　find　you　sensible　before　I　go。〃

〃Sensible。　That　is　the　word　for　me。〃

Laetitia　briefly　sketched　the　history　of　the　night；　and　Clara
said；　with　a　manifest　sincerity　that　testified　of　her　gratitude　to
Sir　Willoughby：　〃Could　you　resist　him；　so　earnest　as　he　is？〃
Laetitia　saw　the　human　nature；　without　sourness：　and　replied；　〃I
hope；　Clara；　you　will　not　begin　with　a　large　stock　of　sentiment；
for　there　is　nothing　like　it　for　making　you　hard；　matter…of…fact；
worldly；　calculating。〃

The　next　visitor　was　Vernon；　exceedingly　anxious　for　news　of　Mr。
Dale。　Laetitia　went　into　her　father's　room　to　obtain　it　for　him。
Returning；　she　found　them　both　with　sad　visages；　and　she　ventured；
in　alarm　for　them；　to　ask　the　cause。

〃It's　this；〃　Vernon　said：　〃Willoughby　will　everlastingly　tease
that　boy　to　be　loved　by　him。　Perhaps。　poor　fellow；　he　had　an　excuse
last　night。　Anyhow；　he　went　into　Crossjay's　room　this　morning；
woke　him　up　and　talked　to　him；　and　set　the　lad　crying；　and　what
with　one　thing　and　another　Crossjay　got　a　berry　in　his　throat；　as
he　calls　it；　and　poured　out　everything　he　knew　and　all　he　had
done。　I　needn't　tell　you　the　consequence。　He　has　ruined　himself
here　for　good；　so　I　must　take　him。〃

Vernon　glanced　at　Clara。　〃You　must　indeed；〃　said　she。　〃He　is　my
boy　as　well　as　yours。　No　chance　of　pardon？〃

〃It's　not　likely。〃

〃Laetitia！〃

〃What　can　I　do？〃

〃Oh！　what　can　you　not　do？〃

〃I　do　not　know。〃

〃Teach　him　to　forgive！〃

Laetitia's　brows　were　heavy　and　Clara　forbore　to　torment　her。

She　would　not　descend　to　the　family　breakfast…table。　Clara　would
fain　have　stayed　to　drink　tea　with　her　in　her　own　room；　but　a　last
act　of　conformity　was　demanded　of　the　liberated　young　lady。　She
promised　to　run　up　the　moment　breakfast　was　over。　Not　unnaturally；
therefore；　Laetitia　supposed　it　to　be　she　to　whom　she　gave
admission；　half　an　hour　later；　with　a　glad　cry　of；　〃Come　in；
dear。〃

The　knock　had　sounded　like　Clara's。

Sir　Willoughby　entered。

He　stepped　forward。　He　seized　her　hands。　〃Dear！〃　he　said。

〃You　cannot　withdraw　that。　You　call　me　dear。　I　am；　I　must　be　dear
to　you。　The　word　is　out；　by　accident　or　not；　but；　by　heaven；　I
have　it　and　I　give　it　up　to　no　one。　And　love　me　or　notmarry　me；
and　my　love　will　bring　it　back　to　you。　You　have　taught　me　I　am　not
so　strong。　I　must　have　you　by　my　side。　You　have　powers　I　did　not
credit　you　with。〃

〃You　are　mistaken　in　me；　Sir　Willoughby。〃　Laetitia　said　feebly；
outworn　as　she　was。

〃A　woman　who　can　resist　me　by　declining　to　be　my　wife；　through　a
whole　night　of　entreaty；　has　the　quality　I　need　for　my　house；　and
I　will　batter　at　her　ears　for　months；　with　as　little　rest　as　I　had
last　night；　before　I　surrender　my　chance　of　her。　But　I　told　you
last　night　I　want　you　within　the　twelve　hours。　I　have　staked　my
pride　on　it。　By　noon　you　are　mine：　you　are　introduced　to　Mrs。
Mountstuart　as　mine；　as　the　lady　of　my　life　and　house。　And　to　the
world！　I　shall　not　let　you　go。

〃You　will　not　detain　me　here；　Sir　Willoughby？〃

〃I　will　detain　you。　I　will　use　force　and　guile。　I　will　spare
nothing。〃

He　raved　for　a　term；　as　he　had　done　overnight。

On　his　growing　rather　breathless；　Laetitia　said：　〃You　do　not　ask
me　for　love？〃

〃I　do　not。　I　pay　you　the　higher　compliment　of　asking　for　you；　love
or　no　love。　My　love　shall　be　enough。　Reward　me　or　not。　I　am　not
used　to　be　denied。〃

〃But　do　you　know　what　you　ask　for？　Do　you　remember　what　I　told　you
of　myself？　I　am　hard；　materialistic；　I　have　lost　faith　in　romance；
the　skeleton　is　present　with　me　all　over　life。　And　my　health　is
not　good。　I　crave　for　money。　I　should　marry　to　be　rich。　I　should
not　worship　you。　I　should　be　a　burden；　barely　a　living　one；
irresponsive　and　cold。　Conceive　such　a　wife；　Sir　Willoughby！〃

〃It　will　be　you！〃

She　tried　to　recall　how　this　would　have　sung　in　her　cars　long
back。　Her　bosom　rose　and　fell　in　absolute　dejection。　Her
ammunition　of　arguments　against　him　had　been　expended　overnight。

〃You　are　so　unforgiving；〃　she　said。

〃Is　it　I　who　am？〃

〃You　do　not　know　me。〃

〃But　you　are　the　woman　of　all　the　world　who　knows　me；　Laetitia。〃

〃Can　you　think　it　better　for　you　to　be　known？〃

He　was　about　to　say　other　words：　he　checked　them。　〃I　believe　I　do
not　know　myself。　Anything　you　will；　only　give　me　your　hand；　give
it；　trust　to　me；　you　shall　direct　me。　If　I　have　faults；　help　me　to
obliterate　them。〃

〃Will　you　not　expect　me　to　regard　them　as　the　virtues　of　meaner
men？〃

〃You　will　be　my　wife！〃

Laetitia　broke　from　him；　crying：　〃Your　wife；　your　critic！　Oh；　I
cannot　think　it　possible。　Send　for　the　ladies。　Let　them　hear　me。〃

〃They　are　at　hand；〃　said　Willoughby；　opening　the　door。

They　were　in　one　of　the　upper　rooms　anxiously　on　the　watch。

〃Dear　ladies；〃　Laetitia　said　to　them；　as　they　entered。　〃I　am　going
to　wound　you；　and　I　grieve　to　do　it：　but　rather　now　than　later；　if
I　am　to　be　your　housemate。　He　asks　me　for　a　hand　that　cannot
carry　a　heart；　because　mine　is　dead。　I　repeat　it。　I　used　to　think
the　heart　a　woman's　marriage　portion　for　her　husband。　I　see　now
that　she　may　consent；　and　he　accept　her；　without　one。　But　it　is
right　that　you　should　know　what　I　am　when　I　consent。　I　was　once　a
foolish；　romantic　girl；　now　I　am　a　sickly　woman；　all　illusions
vanished。　Privation　has　made　me　what　an　abounding　fortune　usually
makes　of　othersI　am　an　Egoist。　I　am　not　deceiving　you。　That　is
my　real　character。　My　girl's　view　of　him　has　entirely　changed；　and
I　am　almost　indifferent　to　the　change。　I　can　endeavour　to　respect
him；　I　cannot　venerate。〃

〃Dear　child！〃　the　ladies　gently　remonstrated。

Willoughby　motioned　to　them。

〃If　we　are　to　live　together；　and　I　could　very　happily　live　with
you；〃　Laetitia　continued　to　address　them；　〃you　must　not　be
ignorant　of　me。　And　if　you；　as　I　imagine；　worship　him　blindly；　I
do　not　know　how　we　are　to　live　together。　And　never　shall　you　quit
this　house　to　make　way　for　me。　I　have　a　hard　detective　eye。　I　see
many　faults。〃

〃Have　we　not　all　of　us　faults；　dear　child？〃

〃Not　such　as　he　has；　though　the　excuses　of　a　gentleman　nurtured　in
idolatry　may　be　pleaded。　But　he　should　know　that　they　are　seen；
and　seen　by　her　he　asks　to　be　his　wife；　that　no　misunderstanding
may　exist；　and　while　it　is　yet　time　he　may　consult　his　feelings。
He　worships　himself。〃

〃Willoughby？〃

〃He　is　vindictive！〃

〃Our　Willoughby？〃

〃That　is　not　your　opinion；　ladies。　It　is　firmly　mine。　Time　has
taught　it　me。　So；　if　you　and　I　are　at　such　variance；　how　can　we
live　together？　It　is　an　impossibility。〃

They　looked　at　Willoughby。　He　nodded　imperiously。

〃We　have　never　affirmed　that　our　dear　nephew　is　devoid　of　faults。
if　he　is　offended　。。。　And　supposing　he　claims　to　be　foremost；　is
it　not　his　rightful　claim；　made　good　by　much　generosity？　Reflect；
dear　Laetitia。　We　are　your　friends　too。〃

She　could　not　chastise　the　kind　ladies　any　further。

〃You　have　always　been　my　good　friends。〃

〃And　you　have　no　other　charge　against　him？〃

Laetitia　was　milder　in　saying；　〃He　is　unpardoning。〃

〃Name　one　instance；　Laetitia。〃

〃He　has　turned　Crossjay　out　of　his　house；　interdicting　the　poor
boy　ever　to　enter　it　again。〃

〃Crossjay；〃　said　Willoughby；　〃was　guilty　of　a　piece　of　infamous　
treachery。〃

〃Which　is　the　cause　of　your　persecuting　me　to　become　your　wife！〃

There　was　a　cry　of　〃Persecuting！〃

〃No　young　fellow　behaving　so　basely　can　come　to　good；〃　said
Willoughby；　stained　about　the　face　with　flecks　of　redness　at　the
lashings　he　received。

〃Honestly；〃　she　retorted。　〃He　told　of　himself：　and　he　must　have
anticipated　the　punishment　he　would　meet。　He　should　have　been
studying　with　a　master　for　his　profession。　He　has　been　kept　here
in　comparative　idleness　to　be　alternately　petted　and　discarded：　no
one　but　Vernon　Whitford；　a　poor　gentleman　doomed　to　struggle　for　a
livelihood　by　literatureI　know　something　of　that　struggletoo
much　for　me！no　one　but　Mr。　Whitford　for　his　friend。〃

〃Crossjay　is　forgiven；〃　said　Willoughby。

〃You　promise　me　that？〃

〃He　shall　be　packed　off　to　a　crammer　at　once。〃

〃But　my　home　must　be　Crossjay's　home。〃

〃You　are　mistress　of　my　house；　Laetitia。〃

She　hesitated。　Her　eyelashes　grew　moist。　〃You　can　be　generous。〃

〃He　is；　dear　child！〃　the　ladies　cried。　〃He　is。　Forget　his　errors；
in　his　generosity；　as　we　do。〃

〃There　is　that　wretched　man　Flitch。〃

〃That　sot　has　gone　about　the　county　for　years　to　get　me　a　bad
character；〃　said　Willoughby。

〃It　would　have　been　generous　in　you　to　have　offered　him　another
chance。　He　has　children。〃

〃Nine。　And　I　am　responsible　for　them？〃

〃I　speak　of　being　generous。〃

〃Dictate。〃　Willoughby　spread　out　his　arms。

〃Surely　now　you　should　be　satisfied；　Laetitia？〃　said　the　ladies。

〃Is　he？〃

Willoughby　perceived　Mrs。　Mountstuart's　carriage　coming　down　the
avenue。

〃To　the　full。〃　He　presented　his　hand。

She　raised　hers　with　the　fingers　catching　back　before　she　ceased
to　speak　and　dropped　it：

〃Ladies。　You　are　witnesses　that　there　is　no　concealment；　there　has
been　no　reserve；　on　my　part。　May　Heaven　grant　me　kinder　eyes　than
I　have　now。　I　would　not　have　you　change　your　opinion　of　him；　only
that　you　should　see　how　I　read　him。　For　the　rest；　I　vow　to　do　my
duty　by　him。　Whatever　is　of　worth　in　me　is　at　his　service。　I　am
very　tired。　I　feel　I　must　yield　or　break。　This　is　his　wish；　and　I
submit。〃

〃And　I　salute　my　wife；〃　said　Willoughby；　making　her　hand　his　own；
and　warming　to　his　possession　as　he　performed　the　act。

Mrs。　Mountstuart's　indecent　hurry　to　be　at　the　Hall　before　the
departure　of　Dr。　Middleton　and　his　daughter；　afflicted　him　with
visions　of　the　physical　contrast　which　would　be　sharply
perceptible　to　her　this　morning　of　his　Laetitia　beside　Clara。　

But　he　had　the　lady　with　brains！　He　had：　and　he　was　to　learn　the
nature　of　that　possession　in　the　woman　who　is　our　wife。



CHAPTER　L

Upon　Which　the　Curtain　Falls

〃Plain　sense　upon　the　marriage　question　is　my　demand　u