the egoist-第44部分

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one　that　the　words　dropped。　〃My　dear　Crossjay！〃　she　sighed。　〃I
would　willingly　pay　for　him　out　of　my　own　purse；　and　I　will　do　so
rather　than　have　him　miss　his　chance。　I　have　not　mustered
resolution　to　propose　it。〃

〃I　may　be　mistaken；　Miss　Middleton。　He　talked　of　the　boy's
fondness　of　him。〃

〃He　would。〃

〃I　suppose　he　is　hardly　peculiar　in　liking　to　play　Pole…star。〃

〃He　may　not　be。〃

〃For　the　rest；　your　influence　should　be　all…powerful。〃

〃it　is　not。〃

De　Craye　looked　with　a　wandering　eye　at　the　heavens。

〃We　are　having　a　spell　of　weather　perfectly　superb。　And　the　odd
thing　is；　that　whenever　we　have　splendid　weather　at　home　we're　all
for　rushing　abroad。　I'm　booked　for　a　Mediterranean　cruise
postponed　to　give　place　to　your　ceremony。〃

〃That？〃　she　could　not　control　her　accent。

〃What　worthier？〃

She　was　guilty　of　a　pause。

De　Craye　saved　it　from　an　awkward　length。　〃I　have　written　half　an
essay　on　Honeymoons；　Miss　Middleton。〃

〃Is　that　the　same　as　a　half…written　essay；　Colonel　De　Craye？〃

〃Just　the　same；　with　the　difference　that　it's　a　whole　essay　written
all　on　one　side。〃

〃On　which　side？〃

〃The　bachelor's。〃

〃Why　does　he　trouble　himself　with　such　topics？〃

〃To　warm　himself　for　being　left　out　in　the　cold。〃

〃Does　he　feel　envy？〃

〃He　has　to　confess　it。〃

〃He　has　liberty。〃

〃A　commodity　he　can't　tell　the　value　of　if　there's　no　one　to　buy。〃

〃Why　should　he　wish　to　sell？〃

〃He's　bent　on　completing　his　essay。〃

〃To　make　the　reading　dull。〃

〃There　we　touch　the　key　of　the　subject。　For　what　is　to　rescue　the
pair　from　a　monotony　multiplied　by　two？　And　so　a　bachelor's　
recommendation；　when　each　has　discovered　the　right　sort　of　person
to　be　dull　with；　pushes　them　from　the　churchdoor　on　a　round　of
adventures　containing　a　spice　of　peril；　if　'tis　to　be　had。　Let
them　be　in　danger　of　their　lives　the　first　or　second　day。　A
bachelor's　loneliness　is　a　private　affair　of　his　own；　he　hasn't　to
look　into　a　face　to　be　ashamed　of　feeling　it　and　inflicting　it　at
the　same　time；　'tis　his　pillow；　he　can　punch　it　an　he　pleases；　and
turn　it　over　t'other　side；　if　he's　for　a　mighty　variation；　there's
a　dream　in　it。　But　our　poor　couple　are　staring　wide　awake。　All
their　dreaming's　done。　They've　emptied　their　bottle　of　elixir；　or
broken　it；　and　she　has　a　thirst　for　the　use　of　the　tongue；　and　he
to　yawn　with　a　crony；　and　they　may　converse；　they're　not　aware　of
it；　more　than　the　desert　that　has　drunk　a　shower。　So　as　soon　as
possible　she's　away　to　the　ladies；　and　he　puts　on　his　Club。　That's
what　your　bachelor　sees　and　would　like　to　spare　them；　and　if　he
didn't　see　something　of　the　sort　he'd　be　off　with　a　noose　round
his　neck；　on　his　knees　in　the　dew　to　the　morning　milkmaid。〃

〃The　bachelor　is　happily　warned　and　on　his　guard；〃　said　Clara；
diverted；　as　he　wished　her　to　be。　〃Sketch　me　a　few　of　the
adventures　you　propose。〃

〃I　have　a　friend　who　rowed　his　bride　from　the　Houses　of　Parliament
up　the　Thames　to　the　Severn　on　into　North　Wales。　They　shot　some
pretty　weirs　and　rapids。〃

〃That　was　nice。〃

〃They　had　an　infinity　of　adventures；　and　the　best　proof　of　the
benefit　they　derived　is；　that　they　forgot　everything　about　them
except　that　the　adventures　occurred。〃

〃Those　two　must　have　returned　bright　enough　to　please　you。

〃They　returned；　and　shone　like　a　wrecker's　beacon　to　the　mariner。
You　see；　Miss　Middleton；　there　was　the　landscape；　and　the
exercise；　and　the　occasional　bit　of　danger。　I　think　it's　to　be
recommended。　The　scene　is　always　changing；　and　not　too　fast；　and
'tis　not　too　sublime；　like　big　mountains；　to　tire　them　of　their
everlasting　big　Ohs。　There's　the　difference　between　going　into　a
howling　wind　and　launching　among　zephyrs。　They　have　fresh　air　and
movement；　and　not　in　a　railway　carriage；　they　can　take　in　what
they　look　on。　And　she　has　the　steering　ropes；　and　that's　a　wise
commencement。　And　my　lord　is　all　day　making　an　exhibition　of　his
manly　strength；　bowing　before　her　some　sixty　to　the　minute；　and
she；　to　help　him；　just　inclines　when　she's　in　the　mood。　And
they're　face　to　face　in　the　nature　of　things；　and　are　not　under
the　obligation　of　looking　the　unutterable；　because；　you　see；
there's　business　in　hand；　and　the　boat's　just　the　right　sort　of
third　party；　who　never　interferes；　but　must　be　attended　to。　And
they　feel　they　re　labouring　together　to　get　along；　all　in　the
proper　proportion；　and　whether　he　has　to　labour　in　life　or　not；　he
proves　his　ability。　What　do　you　think　of　it；　Miss　Middleton？〃

〃I　think　you　have　only　to　propose　it；　Colonel　De　Craye。〃

〃And　if　they　capsize；　why；　'tis　a　natural　ducking！〃

〃You　forgot　the　lady's　dressing…bag。〃

〃The　stain　on　the　metal　for　a　constant　reminder　of　his　prowess　in
saving　it！　Well；　and　there's　an　alternative　to　that　scheme；　and　a
finer：This；　then：　they　read　dramatic　pieces　during　courtship；
to　stop　the　saying　of　things　over　again　till　the　drum　of　the　car
becomes　nothing　but　a　drum　to　the　poor　head；　and　a　little　before
they　affix　their　signatures　to　the　fatal　Registry…book　of　the
vestry；　they　enter　into　an　engagement　with　a　body　of　provincial
actors　to　join　the　troop　on　the　day　of　their　nuptials；　and　away
they　go　in　their　coach　and　four；　and　she　is　Lady　Kitty　Caper　for　a
month；　and　he　Sir　Harry　Highflyer。　See　the　honeymoon　spinning！
The　marvel　to　me　is　that　none　of　the　young　couples　do　it。　They
could　enjoy　the　world；　see　life；　amuse　the　company；　and　come　back
fresh　to　their　own　characters；　instead　of　giving　themselves　a　dose
of　Africa　without　a　savage　to　diversify　it：　an　impression　they
never　get　over；　I'm　told。　Many　a　character　of　the　happiest
auspices　has　irreparable　mischief　done　it　by　the　ordinary
honeymoon。　For　my　part；　I　rather　lean　to　the　second　plan　of
campaign。〃

Clara　was　expected　to　reply；　and　she　said：　〃Probably　because　you
are　fond　of　acting。　It　would　require　capacity　on　both　sides。〃

〃Miss　Middleton；　I　would　undertake　to　breathe　the　enthusiasm　for
the　stage　and　the　adventure。〃

〃You　are　recommending　it　generally。〃

〃Let　my　gentleman　only　have　a　fund　of　enthusiasm。　The　lady　will
kindle。　She　always　does　at　a　spark。〃

〃If　he　has　not　any？〃

〃Then　I'm　afraid　they　must　be　mortally　dull。〃

She　allowed　her　silence　to　speak；　she　knew　that　it　did　so　too
eloquently；　and　could　not　control　the　personal　adumbration　she
gave　to　the　one　point　of　light　revealed　in；　〃if　he　has　not　any〃。
Her　figure　seemed　immediately　to　wear　a　cap　and　cloak　of　dulness。

She　was　full　of　revolt　and　anger；　she　was　burning　with　her
situation；　if　sensible　of　shame　now　at　anything　that　she　did；　it
turned　to　wrath　and　threw　the　burden　on　the　author　of　her
desperate　distress。　The　hour　for　blaming　herself　had　gone　by；　to
be　renewed　ultimately　perhaps　in　a　season　of　freedom。　She　was
bereft　of　her　insight　within　at　present；　so　blind　to　herself　that；
while　conscious　of　an　accurate　reading　of　Willoughby's　friend；　she
thanked　him　in　her　heart　for　seeking　simply　to　amuse　her　and
slightly　succeeding。　The　afternoon's　ride　with　him　and　Crossjay
was　an　agreeable　beguilement　to　her　in　prospect。

Laetitia　came　to　divide　her　from　Colonel　De　Craye。　Dr。　Middleton
was　not　seen　before　his　appearance　at　the　breakfast…table；　where　a
certain　air　of　anxiety　in　his　daughter's　presence　produced　the
semblance　of　a　raised　map　at　intervals　on　his　forehead。　Few　sights
on　earth　are　more　deserving　of　our　sympathy　than　a　good　man　who
has　a　troubled　conscience　thrust　on　him。

The　Rev。　Doctor's　perturbation　was　observed。　The　ladies　Eleanor
and　Isabel；　seeing　his　daughter　to　be　the　cause　of　it；　blamed　her；
and　would　have　assisted　him　to　escape；　but　Miss　Dale；　whom　he
courted　with　that　object；　was　of　the　opposite　faction。　She　made
way　for　Clara　to　lead　her　father　out。　He　called　to　Vernon；　who
merely　nodded　while　leaving　the　room　by　the　window　with　Crossjay。

Half　an　eye　on　Dr。　Middleton's　pathetic　exit　in　captivity　sufficed
to　tell　Colonel　De　Craye　that　parties　divided　the　house。　At　first
he　thought　how　deplorable　it　would　be　to　lose　Miss　Middleton　for
two　days　or　three：　and　it　struck　him　that　Vernon　Whitford　and
Laetitia　Dale　were　acting　oddly　in　seconding　her；　their　aim　not
being　discernible。　For　he　was　of　the　order　of　gentlemen　of　the
obscurely…clear　in　mind　who　have　a　predetermined　acuteness　in
their　watch　upon　the　human　play；　and　mark　men　and　women　as　pieces
of　a　bad　game　of　chess；　each　pursuing　an　interested　course。　His　
experience　of　a　section　of　the　world　had　educated　himas　gallant；
frank；　and　manly　a　comrade　as　one　could　wish　forup　to　this
point。　But　he　soon　abandoned　speculations；　which　may　be　compared
to　a　shaking　anemometer　that　will　not　let　the　troubled　indicator
take　station。　Reposing　on　his　perceptions　and　his　instincts；　he
fixed　his　attention　on　the　chief　persons；　only　glancing　at　the
others　to　establish　a　postulate；　that　where　there　are　parties　in　a
house　the　most　bewitching　person　present　is　the　origin　of　them。　It
is　ever　Helen's　achievement。　Miss　Middleton　appeared　to　him
bewitching　beyond　mortal；　sunny　in　her　laughter；　shadowy　in　her
smiling；　a　young　lady　shaped　for　perfect　music　with　a　lover。

She　was　that；　and　no　less；　to　every　man's　eye　on　earth。　High
breeding　did　not　freeze　her　lovely　girlishness。But　Willoughby　
did。　This　reflection　intervened　to　blot　luxurious　picturings　of
her；　and　made　itself　acceptable　by　leading　him　back　to　several
instances　of　an　evident　want　of　harmony　of　the　pair。

And　now　（for　purely　undirected　impulse　all　within　us　is　not；
though　we　may　be　eye…bandaged　agents　under　direction）　it　became
necessary　for　an　honourable　gentleman　to　cast　vehement　rebukes　at
the　fellow　who　did　not　comprehend　the　jewel　he　had　won。　How　could
Willoughby　behave　like　so　complete　a　donkey！　De　Craye　knew　him　to
be　in　his　interior　stiff；　strange；　exacting：　women　had　talked　of
him；　he　had　been　too　much　for　one　womanthe　dashing　Constantia：
he　had　worn　one　woman；　sacrificing　far　more　for　him　than
Constantia；　to　death。　Still；　with　such　a　prize　as　Clara
Middleton；　Willoughby's　behaviour　was　past　calculating　in　its
contemptible　absurdity。　And　during　courtship！　And　courtship　of
that　girl！　It　was　the　way　of　a　man　ten　years　after　marriage。

The　idea　drew　him　to　picture