the egoist-第48部分

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that　they　had　a　secret；Clara　was　the　spell。　So　prodigiously　did
he　love　and　hate；　that　he　had　no　permanent　sense　except　for　her。
The　soul　of　him　writhed　under　her　eyes　at　one　moment；　and　the　next
it　closed　on　her　without　mercy。　She　was　his　possession　escaping；
his　own　gliding　away　to　the　Third。

There　would　be　pangs　for　him　too；　that　Third！　Standing　at　the
altar　to　see　her　fast…bound；　soul　and　body；　to　another；　would　be
good　roasting　fire。

It　would　be　good　roasting　fire　for　her　too；　should　she　be　averse。
To　conceive　her　aversion　was　to　burn　her　and　devour　her。　She　would
then　be　his！what　say　you？　Burned　and　devoured！　Rivals　would
vanish　then。　Her　reluctance　to　espouse　the　man　she　was　plighted　to
would　cease　to　be　uttered；　cease　to　be　felt。

At　last　he　believed　in　her　reluctance。　All　that　had　been　wanted　to
bring　him　to　the　belief　was　the　scene　on　the　common；　such　a　mere
spark；　or　an　imagined　spark！　But　the　presence　of　the　Third　was
necessary；　otherwise　he　would　have　had　to　suppose　himself
personally　distasteful。

Women　have　us　back　to　the　conditions　of　primitive　man；　or　they
shoot　us　higher　than　the　topmost　star。　But　it　is　as　we　please。　Let
them　tell　us　what　we　are　to　them：　for　us；　they　are　our　back　and
front　of　life：　the　poet's　Lesbia；　the　poet's　Beatrice；　ours　is　the
choice。　And　were　it　proved　that　some　of　the　bright　things　are　in
the　pay　of　Darkness；　with　the　stamp　of　his　coin　on　their　palms；
and　that　some　are　the　very　angels　we　hear　sung　of；　not　the　less
might　we　say　that　they　find　us　out；　they　have　us　by　our　leanings。
They　are　to　us　what　we　hold　of　best　or　worst　within。　By　their
state　is　our　civilization　judged：　and　if　it　is　hugely　animal
still；　that　is　because　primitive　men　abound　and　will　have　their
pasture。　Since　the　lead　is　ours；　the　leaders　must　bow　their　heads
to　the　sentence。　Jealousy　of　a　woman　is　the　primitive　egoism
seeking　to　refine　in　a　blood　gone　to　savagery　under　apprehension　of
an　invasion　of　rights；　it　is　in　action　the　tiger　threatened　by　a
rifle　when　his　paw　is　rigid　on　quick　flesh；　he　tears　the　flesh　for
rage　at　the　intruder。　The　Egoist；　who　is　our　original　male　in
giant　form；　had　no　bleeding　victim　beneath　his　paw；　but　there　was
the　sex　to　mangle。　Much　as　he　prefers　the　well…behaved　among
women；　who　can　worship　and　fawn；　and　in　whom　terror　can　be
inspired；　in　his　wrath　he　would　make　of　Beatrice　a　Lesbia
Quadrantaria。

Let　women　tell　us　of　their　side　of　the　battle。　We　are　not　so　much
the　test　of　the　Egoist　in　them　as　they　to　us。　Movements　of
similarity　shown　in　crowned　and　undiademed　ladies　of　intrepid
independence；　suggest　their　occasional　capacity　to　be　like　men
when　it　is　given　to　them　to　hunt。　At　present　they　fly；　and　there
is　the　difference。　Our　manner　of　the　chase　informs　them　of　the
creature　we　are。

Dimly　as　young　women　are　informed；　they　have　a　youthful　ardour　of
detestation　that　renders　them　less　tolerant　of　the　Egoist　than
their　perceptive　elder　sisters。　What　they　do　perceive；　however；
they　have　a　redoubtable　grasp　of；　and　Clara's　behaviour　would　be
indefensible　if　her　detective　feminine　vision　might　not　sanction
her　acting　on　its　direction。　Seeing　him　as　she　did；　she　turned
from　him　and　shunned　his　house　as　the　antre　of　an　ogre。　She　had
posted　her　letter　to　Lucy　Darleton。　Otherwise。　if　it　had　been　open
to　her　to　dismiss　Colonel　De　Craye；　she　might；　with　a　warm　kiss　to
Vernon's　pupil；　have　seriously　thought　of　the　next　shrill
steam…whistle　across　yonder　hills　for　a　travelling　companion　on
the　way　to　her　friend　Lucy；　so　abhorrent　was　to　her　the　putting　of
her　horse's　head　toward　the　Hall。　Oh；　the　breaking　of　bread　there！
It　had　to　be　gone　through　for　another　day　and　more；　that　is　to
say；　forty　hours；　it　might　be　six…and…forty　hours；　and　no　prospect
of　sleep　to　speed　any　of　them　on　wings！

Such　were　Clara's　inward　interjections　while　poor　Willoughby　burned
himself　out　with　verdigris　flame　having　the　savour　of　bad　metal；
till　the　hollow　of　his　breast　was　not　unlike　to　a　corroded　old
cuirass；　found；　we　will　assume；　by　criminal　lantern…beams　in　a
digging　beside　green…mantled　pools　of　the　sullen　soil；　lumped　with
a　strange　adhesive　concrete。　How　else　picture　the　sad　man？the
cavity　felt　empty　to　him；　and　heavy；　sick　of　an　ancient　and　mortal
combat；　and　burning；　deeply　dinted　too：

　　　　With　the　starry　hole
　　　　Whence　fled　the　soul：

very　sore；　important　for　aught　save　sluggish　agony；　a　specimen　and
the　issue　of　strife。

Measurelessly　to　loathe　was　not　sufficient　to　save　him　from　pain：
he　tried　it：　nor　to　despise；　he　went　to　a　depth　there　also。　The
fact　that　she　was　a　healthy　young　woman　returned　to　the　surface
of　his　thoughts　like　the　murdered　body　pitched　into　the　river；
which　will　not　drown；　and　calls　upon　the　elements　of　dissolution
to　float　it。　His　grand　hereditary　desire　to　transmit　his　estates；
wealth　and　name　to　a　solid　posterity；　while　it　prompted　him　in　his
loathing　and　contempt　of　a　nature　mean　and　ephemeral　compared　with
his；　attached　him　desperately　to　her　splendid　healthiness。　The
council　of　elders；　whose　descendant　he　was；　pointed　to　this　young
woman　for　his　mate。　He　had　wooed　her　with　the　idea　that　they
consented。　O　she　was　healthy！　And　he　likewise：　but；　as　if　it　had
been　a　duel　between　two　clearly　designated　by　quality　of　blood　to
bid　a　House　endure；　she　was　the　first　who　taught　him　what　it　was
to　have　sensations　of　his　mortality。

He　could　not　forgive　her。　It　seemed　to　him　consequently　politic　to
continue　frigid　and　let　her　have　a　further　taste　of　his　shadow；
when　it　was　his　burning　wish　to　strain　her　in　his　arms　to　a
flatness　provoking　his　compassion。

〃You　have　had　your　ride？〃　he　addressed　her　politely　in　the　general
assembly　on　the　lawn。

〃I　have　had　my　ride；　yes；〃　Clara　replied。

〃Agreeable；　I　trust？〃

〃Very　agreeable。〃

So　it　appeared。　Oh；　blushless！

The　next　instant　he　was　in　conversation　with　Laetitia；　questioning
her　upon　a　dejected　droop　of　her　eyelashes。

〃I　am；　I　think；〃　said　she；　〃constitutionally　melancholy。〃

He　murmured　to　her：　〃I　believe　in　the　existence　of　specifics；　and
not　far　to　seek；　for　all　our　ailments　except　those　we　bear　at　the
hands　of　others。〃

She　did　not　dissent。

De　Craye；　whose　humour　for　being　convinced　that　Willoughby　cared
about　as　little　for　Miss　Middleton　as　she　for　him　was　nourished　by
his　immediate　observation　of　them；　dilated　on　the　beauty　of　the
ride　and　his　fair　companion's　equestrian　skill。

〃You　should　start　a　travelling　circus；〃　Willoughby　rejoined。
〃But　the　idea's　a　worthy　one！There's　another　alternative　to　the
expedition　I　proposed；　Miss　Middleton；〃　said　De　Craye。　〃And　I　be
clown？　I　haven't　a　scruple　of　objection。　I　must　read　up　books
of　jokes。〃

〃Don't；〃　said　Willoughby。

〃I'd　spoil　my　part！　But　a　natural　clown　won't　keep　up　an
artificial　performance　for　an　entire　month；　you　see；　which　is　the
length　of　time　we　propose。　He'll　exhaust　his　nature　in　a　day　and
be　bowled　over　by　the　dullest　regular　donkey…engine　with　paint　on
his　cheeks　and　a　nodding　topknot。〃

〃What　is　this　expedition　'we'　propose？〃

De　Craye　was　advised　in　his　heart　to　spare　Miss　Middleton　any
allusion　to　honeymoons。

〃Merely　a　game　to　cure　dulness。〃

〃Ah！〃　Willoughby　acquiesced。　〃A　month；　you　said？〃

〃One'd　like　it　to　last　for　years。〃

〃Ah！　You　are　driving　one　of　Mr。　Merriman's　witticisms　at　me；
Horace；　I　am　dense。〃

Willoughby　bowed　to　Dr。　Middleton；　and　drew　him　from　Vernon；
filially　taking　his　turn　to　talk　with　him　closely。

De　Craye　saw　Clara's　look　as　her　father　and　Willoughby　went　aside
thus　linked。

It　lifted　him　over　anxieties　and　casuistries　concerning　loyalty。
Powder　was　in　the　look　to　make　a　warhorse　breathe　high　and　shiver
for　the　signal。


CHAPTER　XXIV

Contains　an　Instance　of　the　Generosity　of　Willoughby

Observers　of　a　gathering　complication　and　a　character　in　action
commonly　resemble　gleaners　who　are　intent　only　on　picking　up　the
cars　of　grain　and　huddling　their　store。　Disinterestedly　or
interestedly　they　wax　over…eager　for　the　little　trifles；　and　make
too　much　of　them。　Observers　should　begin　upon　the　precept；　that　not
all　we　see　is　worth　hoarding；　and　that　the　things　we　see　are　to　be
weighed　in　the　scale　with　what　we　know　of　the　situation；　before　we
commit　ourselves　to　a　measurement。　And　they　may　be　accurate
observers　without　being　good　judges。　They　do　not　think　so；　and
their　bent　is　to　glean　hurriedly　and　form　conclusions　as　hasty；
when　their　business　should　be　sift　at　each　step；　and　question。

Miss　Dale　seconded　Vernon　Whitford　in　the　occupation　of　counting
looks　and　tones；　and　noting　scraps　of　dialogue。　She　was　quite
disinterested；　he　quite　believed　that　he　was；　to　this　degree　they
were　competent　for　their　post；　and　neither　of　them　imagined　they
could　be　personally　involved　in　the　dubious　result　of　the　scenes
they　witnessed。　They　were　but　anxious　observers；　diligently
collecting。　She　fancied　Clara　susceptible　to　his　advice：　he　had
fancied　it；　and　was　considering　it　one　of　his　vanities。　Each
mentally　compared　Clara's　abruptness　in　taking　them　into　her
confidence　with　her　abstention　from　any　secret　word　since　the
arrival　of　Colonel　De　Craye。　Sir　Willoughby　requested　Laetitia　to
give　Miss　Middleton　as　much　of　her　company　as　she　could；　showing
that　he　was　on　the　alert。　Another　Constantia　Durham　seemed　beating
her　wings　for　flight。　The　suddenness　of　the　evident　intimacy
between　Clara　and　Colonel　De　Craye　shocked　Laetitia；　their
acquaintance　could　be　computed　by　hours。　Yet　at　their　first
interview　she　had　suspected　the　possibility　of　worse　than　she　now
supposed　to　be；　and　she　had　begged　Vernon　not　immediately　to　quit
the　Hall；　in　consequence　of　that　faint　suspicion。　She　had　been　led
to　it　by　meeting　Clara　and　De　Craye　at　her　cottage…gate；　and
finding　them　as　fluent　and　laughter…breathing　in　conversation　as
friends。　Unable　to　realize　the　rapid　advance　to　a　familiarity；
more　ostensible　than　actual；　of　two　lively　natures；　after　such　an
introduction　as　they　had　undergone：　and　one　of　the　two　pining　in　a
drought　of　liveliness：　Laetitia　listened　to　their　wager　of　nothing
at　alla　no　against　a　yesin　the　case　of　poor　Flitch；　and
Clara's；　〃Willoughby　will　not　forgive〃；　and　De