the egoist-第58部分

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〃For　any　act　of　disinterested　kindness；　I　am　sure。〃

〃You　mean　it？〃

〃Without　reserve。　You　could　talk　publicly　of　taking　him　to
London。〃

〃Miss　Middleton；　just　now　you　were　going。　My　arrival　changed　your
mind。　You　distrust　me：　and　ought　I　to　wonder？　The　wonder　would　be
all　the　other　way。　You　have　not　had　the　sort　of　report　of　me　which
would　persuade　you　to　confide；　even　in　a　case　of　extremity。　I
guessed　you　were　going。　Do　you　ask　me　how？　I　cannot　say。　Through
what　they　call　sympathy；　and　that's　inexplicable。　There's　natural
sympathy；　natural　antipathy。　People　have　to　live　together　to
discover　how　deep　it　is！〃

Clara　breathed　her　dumb　admission　of　his　truth。

The　fly　jolted　and　threatened　to　lurch。

〃Flitch；　my　dear　man！〃　the　colonel　gave　a　murmuring　remonstrance；　
〃for；〃　said　he　to　Clara；　whom　his　apostrophe　to　Flitch　had　set
smiling；　〃we're　not　safe　with　him；　however　we　make　believe；　and
he'll　be　jerking　the　heart　out　of　me　before　he　has　done。But　if
two　of　us　have　not　the　misfortune　to　be　united　when　they　come　to
the　discovery；　there's　hope。　That　is；　if　one　has　courage　and　the
other　has　wisdom。　Otherwise　they　may　go　to　the　yoke　in　spite　of
themselves。　The　great　enemy　is　Pride；　who　has　them　both　in　a　coach
and　drives　them　to　the　fatal　door；　and　the　only　thing　to　do　is　to
knock　him　off　his　box　while　there's　a　minute　to　spare。　And　as
there's　no　pride　like　the　pride　of　possession；　the　deadliest　wound
to　him　is　to　make　that　doubtful。　Pride　won't　be　taught　wisdom　in
any　other　fashion。　But　one　must　have　the　courage　to　do　it！〃

De　Craye　trifled　with　the　window…sash；　to　give　his　words　time　to
sink　in　solution。

Who　but　Willoughby　stood　for　Pride？　And　who；　swayed　by　languor；
had　dreamed　of　a　method　that　would　be　surest　and　swiftest　to　teach
him　the　wisdom　of　surrendering　her？

〃You　know；　Miss　Middleton；　I　study　character；〃　said　the　colonel。

〃I　see　that　you　do；〃　she　answered。

〃You　intend　to　return？〃

〃Oh；　decidedly。〃

〃The　day　is　unfavourable　for　travelling；　I　must　say。〃

〃It　is。〃

〃You　may　count　on　my　discretion　in　the　fullest　degree。　I　throw
myself　on　your　generosity　when　I　assure　you　that　it　was　not　my
design　to　surprise　a　secret。　I　guessed　the　station；　and　went
there；　to　put　myself　at　your　disposal。〃

〃Did　you；〃　said　Clara；　reddening　slightly；　〃chance　to　see　Mrs。
Mountstuart　Jenkinson's　carriage　pass　you　when　you　drove　up　to　the
station？〃

De　Craye　had　passed　a　carriage。　〃I　did　not　see　the　lady。　She　was
in　it？〃

〃Yes。　And　therefore　it　is　better　to　put　discretion　on　one　side：
we　may　be　certain　she　saw　you。〃

〃But　not　you；　Miss　Middleton。〃

〃I　prefer　to　think　that　I　am　seen。　I　have　a　description　of
courage；　Colonel　De　Craye；　when　it　is　forced　on　me。〃

〃I　have　not　suspected　the　reverse。　Courage　wants　training；　as　well
as　other　fine　capacities。　Mine　is　often　rusty　and　rheumatic。〃

〃I　cannot　hear　of　concealment　or　plotting。〃

〃Except；　pray；　to　advance　the　cause　of　poor　Flitch！〃

〃He　shall　be　excepted。〃

The　colonel　screwed　his　head　round　for　a　glance　at　his　coachman's
back。

〃Perfectly　guaranteed　to…day！〃　he　said　of　Flitch's　look　of
solidity。　〃The　convulsion　of　the　elements　appears　to　sober　our
friend；　he　is　only　dangerous　in　calms。　Five　minutes　will　bring　us
to　the　park…gates。〃

Clara　leaned　forward　to　gaze　at　the　hedgeways　in　the　neighbourhood
of　the　Hall　strangely　renewing　their　familiarity　with　her。　Both　in
thought　and　sensation　she　was　like　a　flower　beaten　to　earth；　and
she　thanked　her　feminine　mask　for　not　showing　how　nerveless　and
languid　she　was。　She　could　have　accused　Vernon　of　a　treacherous
cunning　for　imposing　it　on　her　free　will　to　decide　her　fate。

Involuntarily　she　sighed。

〃There　is　a　train　at　three；〃　said　De　Craye；　with　splendid
promptitude。

〃Yes；　and　one　at　five。　We　dine　with　Mrs。　Mountstuart　tonight。　And
I　have　a　passion　for　solitude！　I　think　I　was　never　intended　for
obligations。　The　moment　I　am　bound　I　begin　to　brood　on　freedom。〃

〃Ladies　who　say　that；　Miss　Middleton！。。。〃

〃What　of　them？〃

〃They're　feeling　too　much　alone。〃

She　could　not　combat　the　remark：　by　her　self…assurance　that　she
had　the　principle　of　faithfulness；　she　acknowledged　to　herself　the
truth　of　it：there　is　no　freedom　for　the　weak。　Vernon　had　said
that　once。　She　tried　to　resist　the　weight　of　it；　and　her　sheer
inability　precipitated　her　into　a　sense　of　pitiful　dependence。

Half　an　hour　earlier　it　would　have　been　a　perilous　condition　to　be
traversing　in　the　society　of　a　closely　scanning　reader　of　fair
faces。　Circumstances　had　changed。　They　were　at　the　gates　of　the
park。

〃Shall　I　leave　you？〃　said　De　Craye。

〃Why　should　you？〃　she　replied。

He　bent　to　her　gracefully。

The　mild　subservience　flattered　Clara's　languor。　He　had　not
compelled　her　to　be　watchful　on　her　guard；　and　she　was　unaware
that　he　passed　it　when　she　acquiesced　to　his　observation；　〃An
anticipatory　story　is　a　trap　to　the　teller。〃

〃It　is；〃　she　said。　She　had　been　thinking　as　much。

He　threw　up　his　head　to　consult　the　brain　comically　with　a　dozen
little　blinks。

〃No；　you　are　right；　Miss　Middleton；　inventing　beforehand　never
prospers；　〃t　is　a　way　to　trip　our　own　cleverness。　Truth　and
mother…wit　are　the　best　counsellors：　and　as　you　are　the　former；
I'll　try　to　act　up　to　the　character　you　assign　me。〃

Some　tangle；　more　prospective　than　present；　seemed　to　be　about　her
as　she　reflected。　But　her　intention　being　to　speak　to　Willoughby
without　subterfuge；　she　was　grateful　to　her　companion　for　not
tempting　her　to　swerve。　No　one　could　doubt　his　talent　for　elegant
fibbing；　and　she　was　in　the　humour　both　to　admire　and　adopt　the
art；　so　she　was　glad　to　be　rescued　from　herself。　How　mother…wit
was　to　second　truth　she　did　not　inquire；　and　as　she　did　not　happen
to　be　thinking　of　Crossjay；　she　was　not　troubled　by　having　to
consider　how　truth　and　his　tale　of　the　morning　would　be　likely　to
harmonize。

Driving　down　the　park；　she　had　full　occupation　in　questioning　
whether　her　return　would　be　pleasing　to　Vernon；　who　was　the
virtual　cause　of　it；　though　he　had　done　so　little　to　promote　it：
so　little　that　she　really　doubted　his　pleasure　in　seeing　her
return。


CHAPTER　XXIX

In　Which　the　Sensitiveness　of　Sir　Willoughby　Is
Explained：　and　He　Receives　Much　Instruction

THE　Hall…dock　over　the　stables　was　then　striking　twelve。　It　was
the　hour　for　her　flight　to　be　made　known；　and　Clara　sat　in　a
turmoil　of　dim　apprehension　that　prepared　her　nervous　frame　for　a
painful　blush　on　her　being　asked　by　Colonel　De　Craye　whether　she
had　set　her　watch　correctly。　He　must；　she　understood；　have　seen
through　her　at　the　breakfast　table：　and　was　she　not　cruelly
indebted　to　him　for　her　evasion　of　Willoughby？　Such　perspicacity
of　vision　distressed　and　frightened　her；　at　the　same　time　she　was
obliged　to　acknowledge　that　he　had　not　presumed　on　it。　Her　dignity
was　in　no　way　the　worse　for　him。　But　it　had　been　at　a　man's　mercy；
and　there　was　the　affliction。

She　jumped　from　the　fly　as　if　she　were　leaving　danger　behind。　She
could　at　the　moment　have　greeted　Willoughby　with　a　conventionally
friendly　smile。　The　doors　were　thrown　open　and　young　Crossjay　flew
out　to　her。　He　hung　and　danced　on　her　hand；　pressed　the　hand　to
his　mouth；　hardly　believing　that　he　saw　and　touched　her；　and　in　a
lingo　of　dashes　and　asterisks　related　how　Sir　Willoughby　had　found
him　under　the　boathouse　eaves　and　pumped　him；　and　had　been　sent
off　to　Hoppner's　farm；　where　there　was　a　sick　child；　and　on
along　the　road　to　a　labourer's　cottage：　〃For　I　said　you're　so　kind
to　poor　people；　Miss　Middleton；　that's　true；　now　that　is　true。
And　I　said　you　wouldn't　have　me　with　you　for　fear　of　contagion！〃　
This　was　what　she　had　feared。

〃Every　crack　and　bang　in　a　boys　vocabulary；〃　remarked　the　colonel；
listening　to　him　after　he　had　paid　Flitch。

The　latter　touched　his　hat　till　he　had　drawn　attention　to　himself；
when　he　exclaimed；　with　rosy　melancholy：　〃Ah！　my　lady；　ah！
colonel；　if　ever　I　lives　to　drink　some　of　the　old　port　wine　in　the
old　Hall　at　Christmastide！〃　Their　healths　would　on　that　occasion
be　drunk；　it　was　implied。　He　threw　up　his　eyes　at　the　windows；
humped　his　body　and　drove　away。

〃Then　Mr。　Whitford　has　not　come　back？〃　said　Clara　to　Crossjay。

〃No；　Miss　Middleton。　Sir　Willoughby　has；　and　he's　upstairs　in
his　room　dressing。〃

〃Have　you　seen　Barclay？〃

〃She　has　just　gone　into　the　laboratory。　I　told　her　Sir　Willoughby
wasn't　there。〃

〃Tell　me；　Crossjay；　had　she　a　letter？〃

〃She　had　something。〃

〃Run：　say　I　am　here；　I　want　the　letter；　it　is　mine。〃

Crossjay　sprang　away　and　plunged　into　the　arms　of　Sir　Willoughby。

〃One　has　to　catch　the　fellow　like　a　football；〃　exclaimed　the
injured　gentleman；　doubled　across　the　boy　and　holding　him　fast；
that　he　might　have　an　object　to　trifle　with；　to　give　himself　
countenance：　he　needed　it。　〃Clara；　you　have　not　been　exposed　to
the　weather？〃

〃Hardly　at　all。〃

〃I　rejoice。　You　found　shelter？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃In　one　of　the　cottages？〃

〃Not　in　a　cottage；　but　I　was　perfectly　sheltered。　Colonel　De　Craye
passed　a　fly　before　he　met　me　。　。

〃Flitch　again！〃　ejaculated　the　colonel。

〃Yes；　you　have　luck；　you　have　luck；〃　Willoughby　addressed　him；
still　clutching　Crossjay　and　treating　his　tugs　to　get　loose　as　an
invitation　to　caresses。　But　the　foil　barely　concealed　his　livid
perturbation。

〃Stay　by　me；　sir；〃　he　said　at　last　sharply　to　Crossjay；　and　Clara
touched　the　boy's　shoulder　in　admonishment　of　him。

She　turned　to　the　colonel　as　they　stepped　into　the　hall：　〃I　have
not　thanked　you；　Colonel　De　Craye。〃　She　dropped　her　voice　to　its
lowest：　〃A　letter　in　my　handwriting　in　the　laboratory。〃

Crossjay　cried　aloud　with　pain。

〃I　have　you！〃　Willoughby　rallied　him　with　a　laugh　not　unlike　the
squeak　of　his　victim。

〃You　squeeze　awfully　hard；　sir。〃

〃Why；　you　milksop！〃

〃Am　I！　But　I　want　to　get　a　book。〃

〃Where　is　the　book？〃

〃In　the　laboratory。〃

Colonel　De　Craye；　sauntering　by　the　laboratory　door；　sung　out：
〃I'll　fetch　you　your　book。　What　is　it？　EARLY　NAVIGATORS？　INFANT
HYMNS？　I　think　my　cigar…case　is　in　here。〃

〃Barclay　speaks　of　a　letter　for　me；〃　Willoughby　said　to　Clara；
〃marked　to　be　delivered　to　me　at　noon！〃

〃In　case　of