the egoist-第69部分

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could　almost　recount　the　passages。　The　consequence　is；　that
everything　depends　upon　the　amount　of　courage　she　possesses。　Dr。
Middleton　won't　leave　Patterne　yet。　And　it　is　of　no　use　to　speak
to　him　to…day。　And　she　is　by　nature　impatient；　and　is　rendered
desperate。〃

〃Why　is　it　of　no　use　to　speak　to　Dr。　Middleton　today？〃　cried
Laetitia。

〃He　drank　wine　yesterday　that　did　not　agree　with　him；　he　can't
work。　To…day　he　is　looking　forward　to　Patterne　Port。　He　is　not
likely　to　listen　to　any　proposals　to　leave　to…day。〃

〃Goodness！〃

〃I　know　the　depth　of　that　cry！〃

〃You　are　excluded；　Mr。　Whitford。〃

〃Not　a　bit　of　it；　I　am　in　with　the　rest。　Say　that　men　are　to　be
exclaimed　at。　Men　have　a　right　to　expect　you　to　know　your　own
minds　when　you　close　on　a　bargain。　You　don't　know　the　world　or
yourselves　very　well；　it's　true；　still　the　original　error　is　on
your　side；　and　upon　that　you　should　fix　your　attention。　She
brought　her　father　here；　and　no　sooner　was　he　very　comfortably
established　than　she　wished　to　dislocate　him。〃

〃I　cannot　explain　it；　I　cannot　comprehend　it；〃　said　Laetitia。

〃You　are　Constancy。〃

〃No。〃　She　coloured。　〃I　am　'in　with　rest'。　I　do　not　say　I　should
have　done　the　same。　But　I　have　the　knowledge　that　I　must　not　sit
in　judgement　on　her。　I　can　waver。〃

She　coloured　again。　She　was　anxious　that　he　should　know　her　to　be
not　that　stupid　statue　of　Constancy　in　a　corner　doating　on　the
antic　Deception。　Reminiscences　of　the　interview　overnight　made　it
oppressive　to　her　to　hear　herself　praised　for　always　pointing　like
the　needle。　Her　newly　enfranchised　individuality　pressed　to　assert
its　existence。　Vernon；　however；　not　seeing　this　novelty；
continued；　to　her　excessive　discomfort；　to　baste　her　old　abandoned
image　with　his　praises。　They　checked　hers；　and；　moreover；　he　had
suddenly　conceived　an　envy　of　her　life…long；　uncomplaining；　almost
unaspiring；　constancy　of　sentiment。　If　you　know　lovers　when　they
have　not　reason　to　be　blissful；　you　will　remember　that　in　this
mood　of　admiring　envy　they　are　given　to　fits　of　uncontrollable
maundering。　Praise　of　constancy；　moreover；　smote　shadowily　a
certain　inconstant；　enough　to　seem　to　ruffle　her　smoothness　and　do
no　hurt。　He　found　his　consolation　in　it；　and　poor　Laetitia　writhed。
Without　designing　to　retort；　she　instinctively　grasped　at　a　weapon
of　defence　in　further　exalting　his　devotedness；　which　reduced　him
to　cast　his　head　to　the　heavens　and　implore　them　to　partially
enlighten　her。　Nevertheless；　maunder　he　must；　and　he　recurred　to
it　in　a　way　so　utterly　unlike　himself　that　Laetitia　stared　in　his
face。　She　wondered　whether　there　could　be　anything　secreted　behind
this　everlasting　theme　of　constancy。　He　took　her　awakened　gaze　for
a　summons　to　asseverations　of　sincerity；　and　out　they　came。　She
would　have　fled　from　him；　but　to　think　of　flying　was　to　think　how
little　it　was　that　urged　her　to　fly；　and　yet　the　thought　of
remaining　and　listening　to　praises　undeserved　and　no　longer
flattering；　was　a　torture。

〃Mr。　Whitford；　I　bear　no　comparison　with　you。〃

〃I　do　and　must　set　you　for　my　example；　Miss　Dale。〃

〃Indeed；　you　do　wrongly；　you　do　not　know　me。〃

〃I　could　say　that。　For　years　。。。

〃Pray；　Mr。　Whitford！〃

〃Well；　I　have　admired　it。　You　show　us　how　self　can　be　smothered。〃

〃An　echo　would　be　a　retort　on　you！〃

〃On　me？　I　am　never　thinking　of　anything　else。〃

〃I　could　say　that。〃

〃You　are　necessarily　conscious　of　not　swerving。〃

〃But　I　do；　I　waver　dreadfully；　I　am　not　the　same　two　days
running。〃

〃You　are　the　same；　with　'ravishing　divisions'　upon　the　same。

〃And　you　without　the　'divisions。'　I　draw　such　support　as　I　have
from　you。〃

〃From　some　simulacrum　of　me；　then。　And　that　will　show　you　how
little　you　require　support。〃

〃I　do　not　speak　my　own　opinion　only。〃

〃Whose？〃

〃I　am　not　alone。〃

〃Again　let　me　say；　I　wish　I　were　like　you！〃

〃Then　let　me　add；　I　would　willingly　make　the　exchange！〃

〃You　would　be　amazed　at　your　bargain。〃

〃Others　would　be！〃

〃Your　exchange　would　give　me　the　qualities　I'm　in　want　of；　Miss
Dale。〃

〃Negative；　passive；　at　the　best；　Mr。　Whitford。　But　I　should　have　。
。　。〃

〃Oh！pardon　me。　But　you　inflict　the　sensations　of　a　boy；　with　a
dose　of　honesty　in　him；　called　up　to　receive　a　prize　he　has　won　by
the　dexterous　use　of　a　crib。〃

〃And　how　do　you　suppose　she　feels　who　has　a　crown　of　Queen　o〃　the
May　forced　on　her　head　when　she　is　verging　on　November？〃

He　rejected　her　analogy；　and　she　his。　They　could　neither　of　them
bring　to　light　the　circumstances　which　made　one　another's　
admiration　so　unbearable。　The　more　he　exalted　her　for　constancy；
the　more　did　her　mind　become　bent　upon　critically　examining　the
object　of　that　imagined　virtue；　and　the　more　she　praised　him　for
possessing　the　spirit　of　perfect　friendliness；　the　fiercer　grew
the　passion　in　him　which　disdained　the　imputation；　hissing　like　a
heated　iron…bar　that　flings　the　waterdrops　to　steam。　He　would　none
of　it；　would　rather　have　stood　exposed　in　his　profound
foolishness。

Amiable　though　they　were；　and　mutually　affectionate；　they　came　to
a　stop　in　their　walk；　longing　to　separate；　and　not　seeing　how　it
was　to　be　done；　they　had　so　knit　themselves　together　with　the
pelting　of　their　interlaudation。

〃I　think　it　is　time　for　me　to　run　home　to　my　father　for　an　hour；〃
said　Laetitia。

〃I　ought　to　be　working；〃　said　Vernon。

Good　progress　was　made　to　the　disgarlanding　of　themselves　thus
far；　yet；　an　acutely　civilized　pair；　the　abruptness　of　the
transition　from　floweriness　to　commonplace　affected　them　both；
Laetitia　chiefly；　as　she　had　broken　the　pause；　and　she　remarked：
〃I　am　really　Constancy　in　my　opinions。〃

〃Another　title　is　customary　where　stiff　opinions　are　concerned。　
Perhaps　by　and　by　you　will　learn　your　mistake；　and　then　you　will
acknowledge　the　name　for　it。〃

〃How？〃　said　she。　〃What　shall　I　learn？〃

〃If　you　learn　that　I　am　a　grisly　Egoist？〃

〃You？　And　it　would　not　be　egoism；〃　added　Laetitia；　revealing　to
him　at　the　same　instant　as　to　herself　that　she　swung　suspended　on
a　scarce　credible　guess。

〃Will　nothing　pierce　your　ears；　Mr。　Whitford？〃

He　heard　the　intruding　voice；　but　he　was　bent　on　rubbing　out　the
cloudy　letters　Laetitia　had　begun　to　spell；　and　he　stammered；
in　a　tone　of　matter…of…fact：　〃Just　that　and　no　better〃；　then
turned　to　Mrs。　Mountstuart　Jenkinson。

〃Or　are　you　resolved　you　will　never　see　Professor　Crooklyn　when
you　look　on　him？〃　said　the　great　lady。

Vernon　bowed　to　the　Professor　and　apologized　to　him　shufflingly
and　rapidly；　incoherently；　and　with　a　red　face；　which　induced　Mrs。
Mountstuart　to　scan　Laetitia's。

After　lecturing　Vernon　for　his　abandonment　of　her　yesterday　
evening；　and　flouting　his　protestations；　she　returned　to　the
business　of　the　day。　〃We　walked　from　the　lodge…gates　to　see　the
park　and　prepare　ourselves　for　Dr。　Middleton。　We　parted　last　night
in　the　middle　of　a　controversy　and　are　rageing　to　resume　it。　Where
is　our　redoubtable　antagonist？〃

Mrs。　Mountstuart　wheeled　Professor　Crooklyn　round　to　accompany
Vernon。

〃We；〃　she　said；　〃are　for　modern　English　scholarship；　opposed　to
the　champion　of　German。〃

〃The　contrary；〃　observed　Professor　Crooklyn。

〃Oh！　We；〃　she　corrected　the　error　serenely；　〃are　for　German　
scholarship　opposed　to　English。〃

〃Certain　editions。〃

〃We　defend　certain　editions。〃

〃Defend　is　a　term　of　imperfect　application　to　my　position；　ma'am。〃

〃My　dear　Professor；　you　have　in　Dr。　Middleton　a　match　for　you　in
conscientious　pugnacity；　and　you　will　not　waste　it　upon　me。　There；
there　they　are；　there　he　is。　Mr。　Whitford　will　conduct　you。　I
stand　away　from　the　first　shock。〃

Mrs。　Mountstuart　fell　back　to　Laetitia；　saying：　〃He　pores　over　a
little　inexactitude　in　phrases；　and　pecks　at　it　like　a　domestic
fowl。〃

Professor　Crooklyn's　attitude　and　air　were　so　well　described　that
Laetitia　could　have　laughed。

〃These　mighty　scholars　have　their　flavour；〃　the　great　lady
hastened　to　add；　lest　her　younger　companion　should　be　misled　to
suppose　that　they　were　not　valuable　to　a　governing　hostess：　〃their
shadow…fights　are　ridiculous；　but　they　have　their　flavour　at　a
table。　Last　night；　no：　I　discard　all　mention　of　last　night。　We
failed：　as　none　else　in　this　neighbourhood　could　fail；　but　we
failed。　If　we　have　among　us　a　cormorant　devouring　young　lady　who
drinks　up　all　theha！brandy　and　waterof　our　inns　and
occupies　all　our　flys；　why；　our　condition　is　abnormal；　and　we　must
expect　to　fail：　we　are　deprived　of　accommodation　for　accidental
circumstances。　How　Mr。　Whitford　could　have　missed　seeing
Professor　Crooklyn！　And　what　was　he　doing　at　the　station；　Miss
Dale？〃

〃Your　portrait　of　Professor　Crooklyn　was　too　striking；　Mrs
Mountstuart；　and　deceived　him　by　its　excellence。　He　appears　to
have　seen　only　the　blank　side　of　the　slate。〃

〃Ah！　He　is　a　faithful　friend　of　his　cousin；　do　you　not　think？〃

〃He　is　the　truest　of　friends。〃

〃As　for　Dr。　Middleton；〃　Mrs。　Mountstuart　diverged　from　her
inquiry；　〃he　will　swell　the　letters　of　my　vocabulary　to　gigantic
proportions　if　I　see　much　of　him：　he　is　contagious。〃

〃I　believe　it　is　a　form　of　his　humour。〃

〃I　caught　it　of　him　yesterday　at　my　dinner…table　in　my　distress；　
and　must　pass　it　off　as　a　form　of　mine；　while　it　lasts。　I　talked
Dr。　Middleton　half　the　dreary　night　through　to　my　pillow。　Your
candid　opinion；　my　dear；　come！　As　for　me；　I　don't　hesitate。　We
seemed　to　have　sat　down　to　a　solitary　performance　on　the
bass…viol。　We　were　positively　an　assembly　of　insects　during
thunder。　My　very　soul　thanked　Colonel　De　Craye　for　his　diversions；
but　I　heard　nothing　but　Dr。　Middleton。　It　struck　me　that　my　table
was　petrified；　and　every　one　sat　listening　to　bowls　played
overhead。〃

〃I　was　amused。〃

〃Really？　You　delight　me。　Who　knows　but　that　my　guests　were　sincere
in　their　congratulations　on　a　thoroughly　successful　evening？　I
have　fallen　to　this；　you　see！　And　I　know；　wretched　people！　that　as
often　as　not　it　is　their　way　of　condoling　with　one。　I　do　it
myself：　but　only　where　there　have　been　amiable　efforts。　But
imagine　my　being　congratulated　for　that！Good…morning；　Sir
Willoughby。The　worst　offender！　and　I　am　in　no　pleasant　mood
with　him；〃　Mrs。　Mountstuart　said　aside　to　L