the egoist-第75部分

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clever　one；　you　will　never　get　the　better　of　it。　Now；　by　just　as
much　as　you　have　outstripped　my　limitation　of　words　to　you；　you
show　me　you　are　dishonest。〃

〃I　could　make　a　vow。〃

〃You　would　forswear　yourself。〃

〃Will　you　help　me？〃

〃If　you　are　perfectly　ingenuous；　I　may　try。〃

〃Dear　lady；　what　more　can　I　say？〃

〃It　may　be　difficult。　You　can　reply　to　a　catechism。〃

〃I　shall　have　your　help？〃

〃Well；　yes；　though　I　don't　like　stipulations　between　friends。
There　is　no　man　living　to　whom　you　could　willingly　give　your　hand？
That　is　my　question。　I　cannot　possibly　take　a　step　unless　I　know。
Reply　briefly：　there　is　or　there　is　not。〃　Clara　sat　back　with
bated　breath；　mentally　taking　the　leap　into　the　abyss；　realizing
it；　and　the　cold　prudence　of　abstention；　and　the　delirium　of　the
confession。　Was　there　such　a　man？　It　resembled　freedom　to　think
there　was：　to　avow　it　promised　freedom。

〃Oh；　Mrs。　Mountstuart！〃

〃Well？〃

〃You　will　help　me？〃

〃Upon　my　word；　I　shall　begin　to　doubt　your　desire　for　it。〃

〃Willingly　give　my　hand；　madam？〃

〃For　shame！　And　with　wits　like　yours；　can't　you　perceive　where
hesitation　in　answering　such　a　question　lands　you？〃

〃Dearest　lady；　will　you　give　me　your　hand？　may　I　whisper？〃

〃You　need　not　whisper；　I　won't　look。〃

Clara's　voice　trembled　on　a　tense　chord。

〃There　is　one　。。。　compared　with　him　I　feel　my　insignificance。　If　I
could　aid　him。〃

〃What　necessity　have　you　to　tell　me　more　than　that　there　is　one？〃

〃Ah；　madam；　it　is　different：　not　as　you　imagine。　You　bid　me　be
scrupulously　truthful：　I　am：　I　wish　you　to　know　the　different
kind　of　feeling　it　is　from　what　might　be　suspected　from　。。。　a
confession。　To　give　my　hand；　is　beyond　any　thought　I　have　ever
encouraged。　If　you　had　asked　me　whether　there　is　one　whom　I　admire
yes；　I　do。　I　cannot　help　admiring　a　beautiful　and　brave
self…denying　nature。　It　is　one　whom　you　must　pity；　and　to　pity
casts　you　beneath　him：　for　you　pity　him　because　it　is　his
nobleness　that　has　been　the　enemy　of　his　fortunes。　He　lives　for
others。〃

Her　voice　was　musically　thrilling　in　that　low　muted　tone　of　the
very　heart；　impossible　to　deride　or　disbelieve。

Mrs。　Mountstuart　set　her　head　nodding　on　springs。

〃Is　he　clever？〃

〃Very。〃

〃He　talks　well？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃Handsome？〃

〃He　might　be　thought　so。〃

〃Witty？〃

〃I　think　he　is。〃

〃Gay；　cheerful？〃

〃In　his　manner。〃

〃Why；　the　man　would　be　a　mountebank　if　he　adopted　any　other。　And
poor？〃

〃He　is　not　wealthy。〃

Mrs。　Mountstuart　preserved　a　lengthened　silence；　but　nipped
Clara's　fingers　once　or　twice　to　reassure　her　without　approving。　
〃Of　course　he's　poor；〃　she　said　at　last；　〃directly　the　reverse　of
what　you　could　have；　it　must　be。　Well；　my　fair　Middleton；　I　can't
say　you　have　been　dishonest。　I'll　help　you　as　far　as　I'm　able。
How；　it　is　quite　impossible　to　tell。　We're　in　the　mire。　The　best
way　seems　to　me　to　get　this　pitiable　angel　to　cut　some　ridiculous
capers　and　present　you　another　view　of　him。　I　don't　believe　in　his
innocence。　He　knew　you　to　be　a　plighted　woman。〃

〃He　has　not　once　by　word　or　sign　hinted　a　disloyalty。〃

〃Then　how　do　you　know。〃

〃I　do　not　know。〃

〃He　is　not　the　cause　of　your　wish　to　break　your　engagement？〃

〃No。〃

〃Then　you　have　succeeded　in　just　telling　me　nothing。　　What　is？〃

〃Ah！　madam！〃

〃You　would　break　your　engagement　purely　because　the　admirable
creature　is　in　existence？〃

Clara　shook　her　head：　she　could　not　say　she　was　dizzy。　She　had
spoken　out　more　than　she　had　ever　spoken　to　herself。　and　in　doing
so　she　had　cast　herself　a　step　beyond　the　line　she　dared　to
contemplate。

〃I　won't　detain　you　any　longer；〃　said　Mrs。　Mountstuart。　　〃The　more
we　learn；　the　more　we　are　taught　that　we　are　not　so　wise　as　we
thought　we　were。　I　have　to　go　to　school　to　Lady　Busshe！　I　really
took　you　for　a　very　clever　girl。　If　you　change　again；　you　will
notify　the　important　circumstance　to　me；　I　trust。〃

〃I　will；〃　said　Clara；　and　no　violent　declaration　of　the
impossibility　of　her　changeing　again　would　have　had　such　an　effect
on　her　hearer。

Mrs。　Mountstuart　scanned　her　face　for　a　new　reading　of　it　to　match
with　her　later　impressions。

〃I　am　to　do　as　I　please　with　the　knowledge　I　have　gained？〃

〃I　am　utterly　in　your　hands；　madam。〃

〃I　have　not　meant　to　be　unkind。〃

〃You　have　not　been　unkind；　I　could　embrace　you。〃

〃I　am　rather　too　shattered；　and　kissing　won't　put　me　together。　I
laughed　at　Lady　Busshe！　No　wonder　you　went　off　like　a　rocket　with
a　disappointing　bouquet　when　I　told　you　you　had　been　successful
with　poor　Sir　Willoughby　and　he　could　not　give　you　up。　I　noticed
that。　A　woman　like　Lady　Busshe；　always　prying　for　the　lamentable；
would　have　required　no　further　enlightenment。　Has　he　a　temper？〃

Clara　did　not　ask　her　to　signalize　the　person　thus　abruptly
obtruded。

〃He　has　faults；〃　she　said。

〃There's　an　end　to　Sir　Willoughby；　then！　Though　I　don't　say　he
will　give　you　up　even　when　he　hears　the　worst；　if　he　must　hear　it；
as　for　his　own　sake　he　should。　And　I　won't　say　he　ought　to　give
you　up。　He'll　be　the　pitiable　angel　if　he　does。　For　youbut　you
don't　deserve　compliments；　they　would　be　immoral。　You　have　behaved
badly；　badly；　badly。　I　have　never　had　such　a　right…about…face　in
my　life。　You　will　deserve　the　stigma：　you　will　he　notorious：　you
will　be　called　Number　Two。　Think　of　that！　Not　even　original！　We
will　break　the　conference；　or　I　shall　twaddle　to　extinction。　I
think　I　heard　the　luncheon　bell。〃

〃It　rang。〃

〃You　don't　look　fit　for　company；　but　you　had　better　come。

〃Oh；　yes；　every　day　it's　the　same。〃

〃Whether　you're　in　my　hands　or　I'm　in　yours；　we're　a　couple　of
arch…conspirators　against　the　peace　of　the　family　whose　table
we're　sitting　at；　and　the　more　we　rattle　the　viler　we　are；　but　we
must　do　it　to　ease　our　minds。〃

Mrs。　Mountstuart　spread　the　skirts　of　her　voluminous　dress；
remarking　further：　〃At　a　certain　age　our　teachers　are　young
people：　we　learn　by　looking　backward。　It　speaks　highly　for　me　that
I　have　not　called　you　mad。Full　of　faults；　goodish…looking；　not
a　bad　talker；　cheerful；　poorish；and　she　prefers　that　to　this！〃
the　great　lady　exclaimed　in　her　reverie　while　emerging　from　the
circle　of　shrubs　upon　a　view　of　the　Hall。　Colonel　De　Craye
advanced　to　her；　certainly　good…looking；　certainly　cheerful；　by　no
means　a　bad　talker；　nothing　of　a　Croesus；　and　variegated　with
faults。

His　laughing　smile　attacked　the　irresolute　hostility　of　her　mien；
confident　as　the　sparkle　of　sunlight　in　a　breeze。　The　effect　of　it
on　herself　angered　her　on　behalf　of　Sir　Willoughby's　bride。

〃Good…morning；　Mrs。　Mountstuart；　I　believe　I　am　the　last　to　greet
you。〃

And　how　long　do　you　remain　here；　Colonel　De　Craye？〃

〃I　kissed　earth　when　I　arrived；　like　the　Norman　William；　and
consequently　I've　an　attachment　to　the　soil；　ma'am。〃

〃You're　not　going　to　take　possession　of　it；　I　suppose？〃　

〃A　handful　would　satisfy　me。〃

〃You　play　the　Conqueror　pretty　much；　I　have　heard。　But　property　is
held　more　sacred　than　in　the　times　of　the　Norman　William。〃

〃And　speaking　of　property；　Miss　Middleton；　your　purse　is　found。〃　he
said。

〃I　know　it　is；〃　she　replied　as　unaffectedly　as　Mrs。　Mountstuart　
could　have　desired；　though　the　ingenuous　air　of　the　girl　incensed
her　somewhat。

Clara　passed　on。

〃You　restore　purses；〃　observed　Mrs。　Mountstuart。

Her　stress　on　the　word　and　her　look　thrilled　De　Craye；　for　there
had　been　a　long　conversation　between　the　young　lady　and　the　dame。

〃It　was　an　article　that　dropped　and　was　not　stolen；〃　said　he。

〃Barely　sweet　enough　to　keep；　then！〃

〃I　think　I　could　have　felt　to　it　like　poor　Flitch；　the　flyman；　who
was　the　finder。〃

〃If　you　are　conscious　of　these　temptations　to　appropriate　what　is
not　your　own；　you　should　quit　the　neighbourhood。〃

〃And　do　it　elsewhere？　But　that's　not　virtuous　counsel。〃

〃And　I'm　not　counselling　in　the　interests　of　your　virtue；　Colonel
De　Craye。〃

〃And　I　dared　for　a　moment　to　hope　that　you　were；　ma'am；〃　he　said；
ruefully　drooping。

They　were　close　to　the　dining…room　window；　and　Mrs　Mountstuart
preferred　the　terminating　of　a　dialogue　that　did　not　promise　to
leave　her　features　the　austerely　iron　cast　with　which　she　had
commenced　it。　She　was　under　the　spell　of　gratitude　for　his
behaviour　yesterday　evening　at　her　dinner…table；　she　could　not　be
very　severe。



CHAPTER　XXXVI

Animated　Conversation　at　a　Luncheon…Table

Vernon　was　crossing　the　hall　to　the　dining…room　as　Mrs　Mountstuart
stepped　in。　She　called　to　him：　〃Are　the　champions　reconciled？〃

He　replied：　〃Hardly　that；　but　they　have　consented　to　meet　at　an
altar　to　offer　up　a　victim　to　the　gods　in　the　shape　of　modern
poetic　imitations　of　the　classical。〃

〃That　seems　innocent　enough。　The　Professor　has　not　been　anxious
about　his　chest？〃

〃He　recollects　his　cough　now　and　then。〃

〃You　must　help　him　to　forget　it。〃

〃Lady　Busshe　and　Lady　Culmer　are　here；〃　said　Vernon；　not　supposing
it　to　be　a　grave　announcement　until　the　effect　of　it　on　Mrs。
Mountstuart　admonished　him。

She　dropped　her　voice：　〃Engage　my　fair　friend　for　one　of　your
walks　the　moment　we　rise　from　table。　You　may　have　to　rescue　her；
but　do。　I　mean　it。〃

〃She's　a　capital　walker。〃　Vernon　remarked　in　simpleton　style。

〃There's　no　necessity　for　any　of　your　pedestrian　feats；〃　Mrs
Mountstuart　said；　and　let　him　go；　turning　to　Colonel　De　Craye　to
pronounce　an　encomium　on　him：　〃The　most　open…minded　man　I　know！
Warranted　to　do　perpetual　service；　and　no　mischief。　If　you　were　all
。。。　instead　of　catching　at　every　prize　you　covet！　Yes；　you　would
have　your　reward　for　unselfishness；　I　assure　you。　Yes；　and　where
you　seek　it！　That　is　what　none　of　you　men　will　believe。〃

〃When　you　behold　me　in　your　own　livery！〃　cried　the　colonel。

〃Do　I？〃　said　she；　dallying　with　a　half…formed　design　to　he
confidential。　〃How　is　it　one　is　always　tempted　to　address　you　in
the　language　of　innuendo？　I　can't　guess。〃

〃Except　that　as　a　dog　doesn't　comprehend　good　English　we　naturally
talk　bad　to　him。〃

The　great　lady　was　tickled。　Who　could　help　being　amused　by　this
man？　And　after　all；　if　her　fair　Middleton　chose　to　be　a　fool　there
could　be　no　gainsaying　her；　sorry　though　poor　Sir　Willoughby's
friends