the egoist-第76部分

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could　be　no　gainsaying　her；　sorry　though　poor　Sir　Willoughby's
friends　must　feel　for　him。

She　tried　not　to　smile。

〃You　are　too　absurd。　Or　a　baby；　you　might　have　added。〃

〃I　hadn't　the　daring。〃

〃I'll　tell　you　what；　Colonel　De　Craye；　I　shall　end　by　falling　in
love　with　you；　and　without　esteeming　you；　I　fear。〃

〃The　second　follows　as　surely　as　the　flavour　upon　a　draught　of
Bacchus；　if　you'll　but　toss　off　the　glass；　ma'am。〃

〃We　women；　sir；　think　it　should　be　first。〃

〃'Tis　to　transpose　the　seasons；　and　give　October　the　blossom　and
April　the　apple；　and　no　sweet　one！　Esteem's　a　mellow　thing　that
comes　after　bloom　and　fire；　like　an　evening　at　home；　because　if
it　went　before　it　would　have　no　father　and　couldn't　hope　for
progeny；　for　there'd　be　no　nature　in　the　business。　So　please；
ma'am；　keep　to　the　original　order；　and　you'll　be　nature's　child；
and　I　the　most　blessed　of　mankind。〃

〃Really；　were　I　fifteen　years　younger。　I　am　not　so　certain　。。。　I
might　try　and　make　you　harmless。〃

〃Draw　the　teeth　of　the　lamb　so　long　as　you　pet　him！〃

〃I　challenged　you；　colonel；　and　I　won't　complain　of　your　pitch。
But　now　lay　your　wit　down　beside　your　candour；　and　descend　to　an
every…day　level　with　me　for　a　minute。〃

〃Is　it　innuendo？〃

〃No；　though　I　daresay　it　would　be　easier　for　you　to　respond　to　if
it　were。〃

〃I'm　the　straightforwardest　of　men　at　a　word　of　command。〃

〃This　is　a　whisper。　Be　alert；　as　you　were　last　night。　Shuffle　the
table　well。　A　little　liveliness　will　do　it。　I　don't　imagine
malice；　but　there's　curiosity；　which　is　often　as　bad；　and　not　so
lightly　foiled。　We　have　Lady　Busshe　and　Lady　Culmer　here。〃

〃To　sweep　the　cobwebs　out　of　the　sky！〃

〃Well；　then；　can　you　fence　with　broomsticks？〃

〃I　have　had　a　bout　with　them　in　my　time。〃

〃They　are　terribly　direct。〃

〃They　'give　point'；　as　Napoleon　commanded　his　cavalry　to　do。〃

〃You　must　help　me　to　ward　it。〃

〃They　will　require　variety　in　the　conversation。〃

〃Constant。　You　are　an　angel　of　intelligence；　and　if　I　have　the
judgeing　of　you；　I'm　afraid　you'll　be　allowed　to　pass；　in　spite　of
the　scandal　above。　Open　the　door；　I　don't　unbonnet。〃

De　Craye　threw　the　door　open。

Lady　Busshe　was　at　that　moment　saying；　〃And　are　we　indeed　to　have
you　for　a　neighbour；　Dr。　Middleton？〃

The　Rev。　Doctor's　reply　was　drowned　by　the　new　arrivals。

〃I　thought　you　had　forsaken　us；〃　observed　Sir　Willoughby　to　Mrs。
Mountstuart。

〃And　run　away　with　Colonel　De　Craye？　I'm　too　weighty；　my　dear
friend。　Besides；　I　have　not　looked　at　the　wedding…presents　yet。〃

〃The　very　object　of　our　call！〃　exclaimed　Lady　Culmer。

〃I　have　to　confess　I　am　in　dire　alarm　about　mine；〃　Lady　Busshe
nodded　across　the　table　at　Clara。　〃Oh！　you　may　shake　your　head；
but　I　would　rather　hear　a　rough　truth　than　the　most　complimentary
evasion。〃

〃How　would　you　define　a　rough　truth；　Dr。　Middleton？〃
said　Mrs。　Mountstuart。

Like　the　trained　warrior　who　is　ready　at　all　hours　for　the　trumpet
to　arms；　Dr。　Middleton　waked　up　for　judicial　allocution　in　a　trice。

〃A　rough　truth；　madam；　I　should　define　to　be　that　description　of
truth　which　is　not　imparted　to　mankind　without　a　powerful
impregnation　of　the　roughness　of　the　teller。〃

〃It　is　a　rough　truth；　ma'am；　that　the　world　is　composed　of
fools；　and　that　the　exceptions　are　knaves；〃　Professor　Crooklyn
furnished　that　example　avoided　by　the　Rev。　Doctor。

〃Not　to　precipitate　myself　into　the　jaws　of　the　foregone
definition；　which　strikes　me　as　being　as　happy　as　Jonah's　whale；
that　could　carry　probably　the　most　learned　man　of　his　time　inside
without　the　necessity　of　digesting　him；〃　said　De　Craye；　〃a　rough
truth　is　a　rather　strong　charge　of　universal　nature　for　the　firing
off　of　a　modicum　of　personal　fact。〃

〃It　is　a　rough　truth　that　Plato　is　Moses　atticizing；〃　said　Vernon
to　Dr。　Middleton；　to　keep　the　diversion　alive。

〃And　that　Aristotle　had　the　globe　under　his　cranium；〃　rejoined　the
Rev。　Doctor。

〃And　that　the　Moderns　live　on　the　Ancients。〃

〃And　that　not　one　in　ten　thousand　can　refer　to　the　particular
treasury　he　filches。〃

〃The　Art　of　our　days　is　a　revel　of　rough　truth；〃　remarked
Professor　Crooklyn。

〃And　the　literature　has　laboriously　mastered　the　adjective；
wherever　it　may　be　in　relation　to　the　noun；　Dr。　Middleton　added。

〃Orson's　first　appearance　at　court　was　in　the　figure　of　a　rough
truth；　causing　the　Maids　of　Honour；　accustomed　to　Tapestry　Adams；
astonishment　and　terror；〃　said　De　Craye。　That　he　might　not　be　left
out　of　the　sprightly　play；　Sir　Willoughby　levelled　a　lance　at　the
quintain；　smiling　on　Laetitia：　〃In　fine；　caricature　is　rough
truth。〃

She　said；　〃Is　one　end　of　it；　and　realistic　directness　is　the
other。〃

He　bowed。　〃The　palm　is　yours。〃

Mrs。　Mountstuart　admired　herself　as　each　one　trotted　forth　in　turn
characteristically；　with　one　exception　unaware　of　the　aid　which
was　being　rendered　to　a　distressed　damsel　wretchedly　incapable　of
decent　hypocrisy。　Her　intrepid　lead　had　shown　her　hand　to　the
colonel　and　drawn　the　enemy　at　a　blow。

Sir　Willoughby's　〃in　fine〃；　however；　did　not　please　her：　still
less　did　his　lackadaisical　Lothario…like　bowing　and　smiling　to
Miss　Dale：　and　he　perceived　it　and　was　hurt。　For　how；　carrying
his　tremendous　load；　was　he　to　compete　with　these　unhandicapped
men　in　the　game　of　nonsense　she　had　such　a　fondness　for　starting
at　a　table？　He　was　further　annoyed　to　hear　Miss　Eleanor　and　Miss
Isabel　Patterne　agree　together　that　〃caricature〃　was　the　final
word　of　the　definition。　Relatives　should　know　better　than　to
deliver　these　awards　to　us　in　public。

〃Well？〃　quoth　Lady　Busshe；　expressive　of　stupefaction　at　the
strange　dust　she　had　raised。

〃Are　they　on　view；　Miss　Middleton？〃　inquired　Lady　Culmer。

〃There's　a　regiment　of　us　on　view　and　ready　for　inspection。〃
Colonel　De　Craye　bowed　to　her；　but　she　would　not　be　foiled。

〃Miss　Middleton's　admirers　are　always　on　view。〃　said　he。

〃Are　they　to　be　seen？〃　said　Lady　Busshe。

Clara　made　her　face　a　question；　with　a　laudable　smoothness。

〃The　wedding…presents；〃　Lady　Culmer　explained。

〃No。〃

〃Otherwise；　my　dear；　we　are　in　danger　of　duplicating　and
triplicating　and　quadruplicating；　not　at　all　to　the　satisfaction
of　the　bride。〃

〃But　there's　a　worse　danger　to　encounter　in　the　'on　view'；　my
lady；〃　said　De　Craye；　〃and　that's　the　magnetic　attraction　a
display　of　wedding…presents　is　sure　to　have　for　the　ineffable
burglar；　who　must　have　a　nuptial　soul　in　him；　for　wherever　there's
that　collection　on　view；　he's　never　a　league　off。　And　'tis　said　he
knows　a　lady's　dressing…case　presented　to　her　on　the　occasion
fifteen　years　after　the　event。〃

〃As　many　as　fifteen？〃　said　Mrs。　Mountstuart。

〃By　computation　of　the　police。　And　if　the　presents　are　on　view；
dogs　are　of　no　use；　nor　bolts；　nor　bars：he's　worse　than　Cupid。
The　only　protection　to　be　found；　singular　as　it　may　be　thought；　is
in　a　couple　of　bottles　of　the　oldest　Jamaica　rum　in　the　British
isles。〃

〃Rum？〃　cried　Lady　Busshe。

〃The　liquor　of　the　Royal　Navy；　my　lady。　And　with　your　permission；
I'll　relate　the　tale　in　proof　of　it。　I　had　a　friend　engaged　to　a
young　lady；　niece　of　an　old　sea…captain　of　the　old　school；　the
Benbow　school；　the　wooden　leg　and　pigtail　school；　a　perfectly　salt
old　gentleman　with　a　pickled　tongue；　and　a　dash　of　brine　in　every
deed　he　committed。　He　looked　rolled　over　to　you　by　the　last　wave
on　the　shore；　sparkling：　he　was　Neptune's　own　for　humour。　And　when
his　present　to　the　bride　was　opened；　sure　enough　there　lay　a
couple　of　bottles　of　the　oldest　Jamaica　rum　in　the　British　Isles；
born　before　himself；　and　his　father　to　boot。　'Tis　a　fabulous
spirit　I　beg　you　to　believe　in；　my　lady；　the　sole　merit　of　the
story　being　its　portentous　veracity。　The　bottles　were　tied　to　make
them　appear　twins；　as　they　both　had　the　same　claim　to　seniority。
And　there　was　a　label　on　them；　telling　their　great　age；　to
maintain　their　identity。　They　were　in　truth　a　pair　of　patriarchal
bottles　rivalling　many　of　the　biggest　houses　in　the　kingdom　for
antiquity。　They　would　have　made　the　donkey　that　stood　between　the
two　bundles　of　hay　look　at　them　with　obliquity：　supposing　him　to
have；　for　an　animal；　a　rum　taste；　and　a　turn　for　hilarity。
Wonderful　old　bottles！　So；　on　the　label；　just　over　the　date；　was
written　large：　UNCLE　BENJAMIN'S　WEDDING　PRESENT　TO　HIS　NIECE　
BESSY。　Poor　Bessy　shed　tears　of　disappointment　and　indignation
enough　to　float　the　old　gentleman　on　his　native　element；　ship　and
all。　She　vowed　it　was　done　curmudgeonly　to　vex　her；　because　her
uncle　hated　wedding…presents　and　had　grunted　at　the　exhibition　of
cups　and　saucers；　and　this　and　that　beautiful　service；　and
epergnes　and　inkstands；　mirrors；　knives　and　forks；　dressing…cases；
and　the　whole　mighty　category。　She　protested；　she　flung　herself
about；　she　declared　those　two　ugly　bottles　should　not　join　the
exhibition　in　the　dining…room；　where　it　was　laid　out　for　days；　and
the　family　ate　their　meals　where　they　could；　on　the　walls；　like
flies。　But　there　was　also　Uncle　Benjamin's　legacy　on　view；　in　the
distance；　so　it　was　ruled　against　her　that　the　bottles　should　have
their　place。　And　one　fine　morning　down　came　the　family　after　a
fearful　row　of　the　domestics；　shouting；　screaming；　cries　for　the
police；　and　murder　topping　all。　What　did　they　see？　They　saw　two
prodigious　burglars　extended　along　the　floor；　each　with　one　of　the
twin　bottles　in　his　hand；　and　a　remainder　of　the　horror　of　the
midnight　hanging　about　his　person　like　a　blown　fog；　sufficient　to
frighten　them　whilst　they　kicked　the　rascals　entirely　intoxicated。
Never　was　wilder　disorder　of　wedding…presents；　and　not　one　lost！
owing；　you'll　own；　to　Uncle　Benjy's　two　bottles　of　ancient　Jamaica
rum。〃

Colonel　De　Craye　concluded　with　an　asseveration　of　the　truth　of
the　story。

〃A　most　provident；　far…sighted　old　sea…captain！〃　exclaimed　Mrs。
Mountstuart；　laughing　at　Lady　Busshe　and　Lady　Culmer。　These
ladies　chimed　in　with　her　gingerly。

〃And　have　you　many　more　clever　stories；　Colonel　De　Craye？〃　said
Lady　Busshe。

〃Ah！　my　lady；　when　the　tree　begins　to　count　its　gold　'tis　nigh
upon　bankruptcy。〃

〃Poetic！〃　ejaculated　Lady　Culmer；　spying　at　Miss　Middleton's　
rippled　countenance；　and　noting　that　she　and