the egoist-第79部分

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The　low　monosyllable；　musically　spoken　in　the　same　tone　of　warning
of　a　gentle　ghost；　rolled　a　thunder　that　maddened　him；　but　he
dared　not　take　it　up　to　fight　against　it　on　plain　terms。

〃Is　it　for　my　sake？〃　he　said。

〃It　will　not　do；　Sir　Willoughby。〃

She　spurred　him　to　a　frenzy。

〃My　dear　Mrs。　Mountstuart；　you　have　been　listening　to　tales。　I　am
not　a　tyrant。　I　am　one　of　the　most　easy…going　of　men。　Let　us
preserve　the　forms　due　to　society：　I　say　no　more。　As　for　poor　old
Vernon；　people　call　me　a　good　sort　of　cousin；　I　should　like　to　see
him　comfortably　married；　decently　married　this　time。　I　have
proposed　to　contribute　to　his　establishment。　I　mention　it　to　show
that　the　case　has　been　practically　considered。　He　has　had　a
tolerably　souring　experience　of　the　state；　he　might　be　inclined
if；　say；　you　took　him　in　hand；　for　another　venture。　It's　a
demoralizing　lottery。　However；　Government　sanctions　it。〃

〃But；　Sir　Willoughby；　what　is　the　use　of　my　taking　him　in　hand
when；　as　you　tell　me；　Laetitia　Dale　holds　back？〃

〃She　certainly　does。〃

〃Then　we　are　talking　to　no　purpose；　unless　you　undertake　to　melt
her。〃

He　suffered　a　lurking　smile　to　kindle　to　some　strength　of　meaning。

〃You　are　not　over…considerate　in　committing　me　to　such　an　office。〃

〃You　are　afraid　of　the　danger？〃　she　all　but　sneered。

Sharpened　by　her　tone；　he　said；　〃I　have　such　a　love　of　stedfastness
of　character；　that　I　should　be　a　poor　advocate　in　the　endeavour　to
break　it。　And　frankly；　I　know　the　danger。　I　saved　my　honour　when
I　made　the　attempt：　that　is　all　I　can　say。〃

〃Upon　my　word；〃　Mrs。　Mountstuart　threw　back　her　head　to　let　her
eyes　behold　him　summarily　over　their　fine　aquiline　bridge；　〃you
have　the　art　of　mystification；　my　good　friend。〃

〃Abandon　the　idea　of　Laetitia　Dale。〃

〃And　marry　your　cousin　Vernon　to　whom？　Where　are　we？〃

〃As　I　said；　ma'am；　I　am　an　easy…going　man。　I　really　have　not　a
spice　of　the　tyrant　in　me。　An　intemperate　creature　held　by　the
collar　may　have　that　notion　of　me；　while　pulling　to　be　released　as
promptly　as　it　entered　the　noose。　But　I　do　strictly　and　sternly
object　to　the　scandal　of　violent　separations；　open　breaches　of
solemn　engagements；　a　public　rupture。　Put　it　that　I　am　the　cause；
I　will　not　consent　to　a　violation　of　decorum。　Is　that　clear？　It　is
just　possible　for　things　to　be　arranged　so　that　all　parties　may　be
happy　in　their　way　without　much　hubbub。　Mind；　it　is　not　I　who
have　willed　it　so。　I　am；　and　I　am　forced　to　be；　passive。　But　I
will　not　be　obstructive。〃

He　paused；　waving　his　hand　to　signify　the　vanity　of　the　more　that
might　be　said。

Some　conception　of　him；　dashed　by　incredulity；　excited　the　lady's
intelligence。

〃Well！〃　she　exclaimed；　〃you　have　planted　me　in　the　land　of
conjecture。　As　my　husband　used　to　say；　I　don't　see　light；　but　I
think　I　see　the　lynx　that　does。　We　won't　discuss　it　at　present。　I
certainly　must　be　a　younger　woman　than　I　supposed；　for　I　am
learning　hard。Here　comes　the　Professor；　buttoned　up　to　the
ears；　and　Dr。　Middleton　flapping　in　the　breeze。　There　will　be　a
cough；　and　a　footnote　referring　to　the　young　lady　at　the　station；
if　we　stand　together；　so　please　order　my　carriage。〃

〃You　found　Clara　complacent？　roguish？〃

〃I　will　call　to…morrow。　You　have　simplified　my　task；　Sir
Willoughby；　very　much；　that　is；　assuming　that　I　have　not　entirely　
mistaken　you。　I　am　so　far　in　the　dark　that　I　have　to　help　myself
by　recollecting　how　Lady　Busshe　opposed　my　view　of　a　certain　matter
formerly。　Scepticism　is　her　forte。　It　will　be　the　very　oddest
thing　if　after　all　。。。！　No；　I　shall　own；　romance　has　not　departed。
Are　you　fond　of　dupes？〃

〃I　detest　the　race。〃

〃An　excellent　answer。　I　could　pardon　you　for　it。〃　She　refrained
from　adding；　〃If　you　are　making　one　of　me。〃

Sir　Willoughby　went　to　ring　for　her　carriage。

She　knew。　That　was　palpable：　Clara　had　betrayed　him。

〃The　earlier　Colonel　De　Craye　leaves　Patterne　Hall　the　better：〃
she　had　said　that：　and；　〃all　parties　would　be　happier　for　an
excursion。〃　She　knew　the　position　of　things　and　she　guessed　the
remainder。　But　what　she　did　not　know；　and　could　not　divine；　was
the　man　who　fenced　her。　He　speculated　further　on　the　witty　and　the
dull。　These　latter　are　the　redoubtable　body。　They　will　have　facts
to　convince　them：　they　had；　he　confessed　it　to　himself；
precipitated　him　into　the　novel　sphere　of　his　dark　hints　to　Mrs。
Mountstuart；　from　which　the　utter　darkness　might　allow　him　to
escape；　yet　it　embraced　him　singularly；　and　even　pleasantly；　with
the　sense　of　a　fact　established。

It　embraced　him　even　very　pleasantly。　There　was　an　end　to　his
tortures。　He　sailed　on　a　tranquil　sea；　the　husband　of　a　stedfast
womanno　rogue。　The　exceeding　beauty　of　stedfastness　in　women
clothed　Laetitia　in　graces　Clara　could　not　match。　A　tried　stedfast
woman　is　the　one　jewel　of　the　sex。　She　points　to　her　husband　like
the　sunflower；　her　love　illuminates　him；　she　lives　in　him；　for
him；　she　testifies　to　his　worth；　she　drags　the　world　to　his　feet；
she　leads　the　chorus　of　his　praises；　she　justifies　him　in　his　own
esteem。　Surely　there　is　not　on　earth　such　beauty！

If　we　have　to　pass　through　anguish　to　discover　it　and　cherish　the
peace　it　gives　to　clasp　it；　calling　it　ours；　is　a　full　reward。
Deep　in　his　reverie；　he　said　his　adieus　to　Mrs。　Mountstuart；　and
strolled　up　the　avenue　behind　the　carriage…wheels；　unwilling　to
meet　Laetitia　till　he　had　exhausted　the　fresh　savour　of　the　cud
of　fancy。

Supposing　it　done！

It　would　be　generous　on　his　part。　It　would　redound　to　his　credit。

His　home　would　be　a　fortress；　impregnable　to　tongues。　He　would
have　divine　security　in　his　home。

One　who　read　and　knew　and　worshipped　him　would　be　sitting　there
star…like：　sitting　there；　awaiting　him；　his　fixed　star。

It　would　be　marriage　with　a　mirror；　with　an　echo；　marriage　with　a
shining　mirror；　a　choric　echo。

It　would　be　marriage　with　an　intellect；　with　a　fine　understanding；
to　make　his　home　a　fountain　of　repeatable　wit：　to　make　his　dear
old　Patterne　Hall　the　luminary　of　the　county。　

He　revolved　it　as　a　chant：　with　anon　and　anon　involuntarily　a
discordant　animadversion　on　Lady　Busshe。　Its　attendant　imps　heard
the　angry　inward　cry。

Forthwith　he　set　about　painting　Laetitia　in　delectable　human
colours；　like　a　miniature　of　the　past　century；　reserving　her　ideal
figure　for　his　private　satisfaction。　The　world　was　to　bow　to　her
visible　beauty；　and　he　gave　her　enamel　and　glow；　a　taller　stature；
a　swimming　air；　a　transcendency　that　exorcized　the　image　of　the
old　witch　who　had　driven　him　to　this。　

The　result　in　him　was；　that　Laetitia　became　humanly　and　avowedly
beautiful。　Her　dark　eyelashes　on　the　pallor　of　her　cheeks　lent
their　aid　to　the　transformation；　which　was　a　necessity　to　him；　so
it　was　performed。　He　received　the　waxen　impression。

His　retinue　of　imps　had　a　revel。　We　hear　wonders　of　men；　and　we
see　a　lifting　up　of　hands　in　the　world。　The　wonders　would　be
explained；　and　never　a　hand　need　to　interject；　if　the　mystifying
man　were　but　accompanied　by　that　monkey…eyed　confraternity。　They
spy　the　heart　and　its　twists。

The　heart　is　the　magical　gentleman。　None　of　them　would　follow
where　there　was　no　heart。　The　twists　of　the　heart　are　the　comedy。

〃The　secret　of　the　heart　is　its　pressing　love　of　self　〃；　says　the
Book。

By　that　secret　the　mystery　of　the　organ　is　legible：　and　a
comparison　of　the　heart　to　the　mountain　rillet　is　taken　up　to　show
us　the　unbaffled　force　of　the　little　channel　in　seeking　to　swell
its　volume；　strenuously；　sinuously；　ever　in　pursuit　of　self；　the
busiest　as　it　is　the　most　single…aiming　of　forces　on　our　earth。
And　we　are　directed　to　the　sinuosities　for　posts　of　observation
chiefly　instructive。

Few　maintain　a　stand　there。　People　see；　and　they　rush　away　to
interchange　liftings　of　hands　at　the　sight；　instead　of　patiently
studying　the　phenomenon　of　energy。

Consequently　a　man　in　love　with　one　woman；　and　in　all　but　absolute
consciousness；　behind　the　thinnest　of　veils；　preparing　his　mind　to
love　another；　will　be　barely　credible。　The　particular　hunger　of
the　forceful　but　adaptable　heart　is　the　key　of　him。　Behold　the
mountain　rillet；　become　a　brook；　become　a　torrent；　how　it　inarms　a
handsome　boulder：　yet　if　the　stone　will　not　go　with　it；　on　it
hurries；　pursuing　self　in　extension；　down　to　where　perchance　a　dam
has　been　raised　of　a　sufficient　depth　to　enfold　and　keep　it　from
inordinate　restlessness。　Laetitia　represented　this　peaceful
restraining　space　in　prospect。　

But　she　was　a　faded　young　woman。　　He　was　aware　of　it；　and
systematically　looking　at　himself　with　her　upturned　orbs；　he
accepted　her　benevolently　as　a　God　grateful　for　worship；　and　used
the　divinity　she　imparted　to　paint　and　renovate　her。　His　heart
required　her　so。　The　heart　works　the　springs　of　imagination；
imagination　received　its　commission　from　the　heart；　and　was　a
cunning　artist。

Cunning　to　such　a　degree　of　seductive　genius　that　the　masterpiece
it　offered　to　his　contemplation　enabled　him　simultareously　to
gaze　on　Clara　and　think　of　Laetitia。　Clara　came　through　the
park…gates　with　Vernon；　a　brilliant　girl　indeed；　and　a　shallow
one：　a　healthy　creature；　and　an　animal；　attractive；　but
capricious；　impatient；　treacherous；　foul；　a　woman　to　drag　men
through　the　mud。　She　approached。


CHAPTER　XXXVIII

In　Which　We　Take　a　Step　to　the　Centre　of　Egoism

They　met；　Vernon　soon　left　them。

〃You　have　not　seen　Crossjay？〃　Willoughby　inquired。

〃No；〃　said　Clara。　〃Once　more　I　beg　you　to　pardon　him。　He　spoke
falsely；　owing　to　his　poor　boy's　idea　of　chivalry。〃

〃The　chivalry　to　the　sex　which　commences　in　lies　ends　by　creating
the　woman's　hero；　whom　we　see　about　the　world　and　in　certain
courts　of　law。〃

His　ability　to　silence　her　was　great：　she　could　not　reply　to
speech　like　that。

〃You　have；〃　said　he；　〃　made　a　confidante　of　Mrs。　Mountstuart。〃

〃Yes。〃

〃This　is　your　purse。〃

〃I　thank　you。〃

〃Professor　Crooklyn　has　managed　to　make　your　father　acquainted
with　your　project。　That；　I　suppose；　is　the　railway　ticket　in　the
fold　of　the　purse。　He　was　assured　at　the　station　that　you　had
taken　a　ticket　to　London；　and　would　not　want　the　fly。〃

〃It　is　true。　I　was　foolish。〃

〃You　have