the egoist-第82部分

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attacked　by　Willoughby　and　Mrs。　Mountstuart：and　here；
Willoughby　chose　to　think；　was　the　main　difficulty。　But　the　girl
has　money；　she　is　agreeable；　Vernon　likes　her；　she　is　fond　of　his
〃Alps〃；　they　have　tastes　in　common；　he　likes　her　father；　and　in
the　end　he　besieges　her。　Will　she　yield？　De　Craye　is　absent。　There
is　no　other　way　of　shunning　a　marriage　she　is　incomprehensibly　but
frantically　averse　to。　She　is　in　the　toils。　Her　father　will　stay
at　Patterne　Hall　as　long　as　his　host　desires　it。　She　hesitates；
she　is　overcome；　in　spite　of　a　certain　nausea　due　to　Vernon's
preceding　alliance；　she　yields。

Willoughby　revolved　the　entire　drama　in　Clara's　presence。　It
helped　him　to　look　on　her　coolly。　Conducting　her　to　the
dinner…table；　he　spoke　of　Crossjay；　not　unkindly；　and　at　table；　he
revolved　the　set　of　scenes　with　a　heated　animation　that　took　fire
from　the　wine　and　the　face　of　his　friend　Horace；　while　he
encouraged　Horace　to　be　flowingly　Irish。　He　nipped　the　fellow
good…humouredly　once　or　twice；　having　never　felt　so　friendly　to
him　since　the　day　of　his　arrival；　but　the　position　of　critic　is
instinctively　taken　by　men　who　do　not　flow：　and　Patterne　Port　kept
Dr　Middleton　in　a　benevolent　reserve　when　Willoughby　decided　that
something　said　by　De　Craye　was　not　new；　and　laughingly　accused　him
of　failing　to　consult　his　anecdotal　notebook　for　the　double…cross
to　his　last　sprightly　sally。　〃Your　sallies　are　excellent；　Horace；
but　spare　us　your　Aunt　Sallies！〃　De　Craye　had　no　repartee；　nor　did
Dr。　Middleton　challenge　a　pun。　We　have　only　to　sharpen　our　wits
to　trip　your　seductive　rattler　whenever　we　may　choose　to　think
proper；　and　evidently；　if　we　condescended　to　it；　we　could　do
better　than　he。　　The　critic　who　has　hatched　a　witticism　is
impelled　to　this　opinion。　Judging　by　the　smiles　of　the　ladies；
they　thought　so；　too。

Shortly　before　eleven　o'clock　Dr。　Middleton　made　a　Spartan　stand
against　the　offer　of　another　bottle　of　Port。　The　regulation　couple
of　bottles　had　been　consumed　in　equal　partnership；　and　the　Rev。
Doctor　and　his　host　were　free　to　pay　a　ceremonial　visit　to　the
drawing…room；　where　they　were　not　expected。　A　piece　of　work　of　the
elder　ladies；　a　silken　boudoir　sofa…rug；　was　being　examined；　with
high　approval　of　the　two　younger。　Vernon　and　Colonel　De　Craye　had
gone　out　in　search　of　Crossjay；　one　to　Mr。　Dale's　cottage；　the
other　to　call　at　the　head　and　under…gamekeeper's。　They　were　said
to　be　strolling　and　smoking；　for　the　night　was　fine。　Willoughby
left　the　room　and　came　back　with　the　key　of　Crossjay's　door　in　his
pocket。　He　foresaw　that　the　delinquent　might　be　of　service　to
him。

Laetitia　and　Clara　sang　together。　Laetitia　was　flushed；　Clara
pale。　At　eleven　they　saluted　the　ladies　Eleanor　and　Isabel。
Willoughby　said　〃Good…night〃　to　each　of　them；　contrasting　as　he
did　so　the　downcast　look　of　Laetitia　with　Clara's　frigid
directness。　He　divined　that　they　were　off　to　talk　over　their　one
object　of　common　interest；　Crossjay。　Saluting　his　aunts；　he　took
up　the　rug；　to　celebrate　their　diligence　and　taste；　and　that　he
might　make　Dr。　Middleton　impatient　for　bed；　he　provoked　him　to
admire　it；　held　it　out　and　laid　it　out；　and　caused　the　courteous
old　gentleman　some　confusion　in　hitting　on　fresh　terms　of
commendation。

Before　midnight　the　room　was　empty。　Ten　minutes　later　Willoughby
paid　it　a　visit；　and　found　it　untenanted　by　the　person　he　had
engaged　to　be　there。　Vexed　by　his　disappointment；　he　paced　up　and
down；　and　chanced　abstractedly　to　catch　the　rug　in　his　hand；　for
what　purpose；　he　might　well　ask　himself；　admiration　of　ladies〃
work；　in　their　absence；　was　unlikely　to　occur　to　him。
Nevertheless。　the　touch　of　the　warm；　soft　silk　was　meltingly
feminine。　A　glance　at　the　mantel…piece　clock　told　him　Laetitia　was
twenty　minutes　behind　the　hour。　Her　remissness　might　endanger　all
his　plans；　alter　the　whole　course　of　his　life。　The　colours　in
which　he　painted　her　were　too　lively　to　last；　the　madness　in　his
head　threatened　to　subside。　Certain　it　was　that　he　could　not　be
ready　a　second　night　for　the　sacrifice　he　had　been　about　to
perform。

The　clock　was　at　the　half　hour　after　twelve。　He　flung　the　silken
thing　on　the　central　ottoman；　extinguished　the　lamps；　and　walked
out　of　the　room；　charging　the　absent　Laetitia　to　bear　her
misfortune　with　a　consciousness　of　deserving　it。



CHAPTER　XL

Midnight：　Sir　Willoughby　and　Laetitia：　with　Young　Crossjay　under　a
Coverlet

Young　Crossjay　was　a　glutton　at　holidays　and　never　thought　of　home
till　it　was　dark。　The　close　of　the　day　saw　him　several　miles　away
from　the　Hall；　dubious　whether　he　would　not　round　his　numerous
adventures　by　sleeping　at　an　inn；　for　he　had　lots　of　money；　and
the　idea　of　jumping　up　in　the　morning　in　a　strange　place　was
thrilling。　Besides；　when　he　was　shaken　out　of　sleep　by　Sir
Willoughby；　he　had　been　told　that　he　was　to　go；　and　not　to　show
his　face　at　Patterne　again。　On　the　other　hand；　Miss　Middleton　had
bidden　him　come　back。　There　was　little　question　with　him　which
person　he　should　obey：　he　followed　his　heart。

Supper　at　an　inn；　where　he　found　a　company　to　listen　to　his
adventures；　delayed　him；　and　a　short　cut；　intended　to　make　up　for
it；　lost　him　his　road。　He　reached　the　Hall　very　late；　ready　to　be
in　love　with　the　horrible　pleasure　of　a　night's　rest　under　the
stars；　if　necessary。　But　a　candle　burned　at　one　of　the　back
windows。　He　knocked；　and　a　kitchen…maid　let　him　in。　She　had　a　bowl
of　hot　soup　prepared　for　him。　Crossjay　tried　a　mouthful　to　please
her。　His　head　dropped　over　it。　She　roused　him　to　his　feet；　and　he
pitched　against　her　shoulder。　The　dry　air　of　the　kitchen
department　had　proved　too　much　for　the　tired　youngster。　Mary；　the
maid；　got　him　to　step　as　firmly　as　he　was　able；　and　led　him　by　the
back…way　to　the　hall；　bidding　him　creep　noiselessly　to　bed。　He
understood　his　position　in　the　house；　and　though　he　could　have
gone　fast　to　sleep　on　the　stairs；　he　took　a　steady　aim　at　his　room
and　gained　the　door　cat…like。　The　door　resisted。　He　was　appalled
and　unstrung　in　a　minute。　The　door　was　locked。　Crossjay　felt　as　if
he　were　in　the　presence　of　Sir　Willoughby。　He　fled　on　ricketty
legs；　and　had　a　fall　and　bumps　down　half　a　dozen　stairs。　A　door
opened　above。　He　rushed　across　the　hall　to　the　drawing…room；
invitingly　open；　and　there　staggered　in　darkness　to　the　ottoman
and　rolled　himself　in　something　sleek　and　warm；　soft　as　hands　of
ladies；　and　redolent　of　them；　so　delicious　that　he　hugged　the
folds　about　his　head　and　heels。　While　he　was　endeavouring　to　think
where　he　was；　his　legs　curled；　his　eyelids　shut；　and　he　was　in　the
thick　of　the　day's　adventures；　doing　yet　more　wonderful　things。

He　heard　his　own　name：　that　was　quite　certain。　He　knew　that　he
heard　it　with　his　ears；　as　he　pursued　the　fleetest　dreams　ever
accorded　to　mortal。　It　did　not　mix：　it　was　outside　him；　and　like
the　danger…pole　in　the　ice；　which　the　skater　shooting　hither　and
yonder　comes　on　again；　it　recurred；　and　now　it　marked　a　point　in
his　career；　how　it　caused　him　to　relax　his　pace；　he　began　to
circle；　and　whirled　closer　round　it；　until；　as　at　a　blow；　his
heart　knocked；　he　tightened　himself；　thought　of　bolting；　and　lay
dead…still　to　throb　and　hearken。

〃Oh！　Sir　Willoughby；〃　a　voice　had　said。

The　accents　were　sharp　with　alarm。

〃My　friend！　my　dearest！〃　was　the　answer。

〃I　came　to　speak　of　Crossjay。〃

〃Will　you　sit　here　on　the　ottoman？〃

〃No；　I　cannot　wait。　I　hoped　I　had　heard　Crossjay　return。　I　would
rather　not　sit　down。　May　I　entreat　you　to　pardon　him　when　he　comes
home？〃

〃You；　and　you　only；　may　do　so。　I　permit　none　else。　Of　Crossjay
to…morrow。〃

〃He　may　be　lying　in　the　fields。　We　are　anxious。〃

〃The　rascal　can　take　pretty　good　care　of　himself。〃

〃Crossjay　is　perpetually　meeting　accidents。〃

〃He　shall　be　indemnified　if　he　has　had　excess　of　punishment。〃

〃I　think　I　will　say　good…night；　Sir　Willoughby。〃

〃When　freely　and　unreservedly　you　have　given　me　your　hand。〃

There　was　hesitation。

〃To　say　good…night？〃

〃I　ask　you　for　your　hand。〃

〃Good…night；　Sir　Willoughby。〃

〃You　do　not　give　it。　You　are　in　doubt？　Still？　What　language　must　I
use　to　convince　you？　And　yet　you　know　me。　Who　knows　me　but　you？
You　have　always　known　me。　You　are　my　home　and　my　temple。　Have　you
forgotten　your　verses　of　the　day　of　my　majority？

　　　　　　　'The　dawn…star　has　arisen　
　　　　　　　　　In　plenitude　of　light。。　。'〃

〃Do　not　repeat　them；　pray！〃　cried　Laetitia；　with　a　gasp。

〃I　have　repeated　them　to　myself　a　thousand　times：　in　India；
America；　Japan：　they　were　like　our　English　skylark；　carolling　to
me。

　　　　　　　'My　heart；　now　burst　thy　prison　
　　　　　　　　　With　proud　aerial　flight！'〃

〃Oh；　I　beg　you　will　not　force　me　to　listen　to　nonsense　that　I
wrote　when　I　was　a　child。　No　more　of　those　most　foolish　lines！　If
you　knew　what　it　is　to　write　and　despise　one's　writing；　you　would
not　distress　me。　And　since　you　will　not　speak　of　Crossjay
to…night；　allow　me　to　retire。〃

〃You　know　me；　and　therefore　you　know　my　contempt　for　verses；　as　a
rule；　Laetitia。　But　not　for　yours　to　me。　Why　should　you　call　them
foolish？　They　expressed　your　feelingshold　them　sacred。　They　are
something　religious　to　me；　not　mere　poetry。　Perhaps　the　third
verse　is　my　favourite　。　。　。〃

〃It　will　be　more　than　I　can　bear！〃

〃You　were　in　earnest　when　you　wrote　them？〃

〃I　was　very　young；　very　enthusiastic；　very　silly。〃

〃You　were　and　are　my　image　of　constancy！〃

〃It　is　an　error；　Sir　Willoughby；　I　am　far　from　being　the　same。〃

〃We　are　all　older；　I　trust　wiser。　I　am；　I　will　own；　much　wiser。
Wise　at　last！　I　offer　you　my　hand。〃

She　did　not　reply。　〃I　offer　you　my　hand　and　name；　Laetitia。〃

No　response。

〃You　think　me　bound　in　honour　to　another？〃

She　was　mute。

〃I　am　free。　Thank　Heaven！　I　am　free　to　choose　my　matethe　woman　I
have　always　loved！　Freely　and　unreservedly；　as　I　ask　you　to　give
your　hand；　I　offer　mine。　You　are　the　mistress　of　Patterne　Hall；　my
wife。〃

She　had　not　a　word。

〃My　dearest！　do　you　not　rightly　understand？　The　hand　I　am　offering
you　is　disengaged。　It　is　offered　to　the　lady　I　respect　above　all
others。　I　have　made　the　discovery　that　I　cannot　love　without
respecting；　and　as　I　will　not　marry　with