the egoist-第85部分

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Clara　was　weeping。

Sir　Willoughby　drew　near　her　solicitously。

Dr　Middleton's　mane　of　silvery　hair　was　in　a　state　bearing　witness
to　the　vehemence　of　the　sermon；　and　Willoughby　said：　〃I　hope；　sir；
you　have　not　made　too　much　of　a　trifle。〃　

〃I　believe；　sir；　that　I　have　produced　an　effect；　and　that　was　the
point　in　contemplation。〃

〃Clara！　my　dear　Clara！〃　Willoughby　touched　her。

〃She　sincerely　repents　her　conduct；　I　may　inform　you；〃　said　Dr。
Middleton。

〃My　love！〃　Willoughby　whispered。　〃We　have　had　a　misunderstanding。　
I　am　at　a　loss　to　discover　where　I　have　been　guilty；　but　I　take
the　blame；　all　the　blame。　I　implore　you　not　to　weep。　Do　me　the
favour　to　look　at　me。　I　would　not　have　had　you　subjected　to　any
interrogation　whatever。〃

〃You　are　not　to　blame；〃　Clara　said　on　a　sob。

〃Undoubtedly　Willoughby　is　not　to　blame。　It　was　not　he　who　was
bound　on　a　runaway　errand　in　flagrant　breach　of　duty　and　decorum；
nor　he　who　inflicted　a　catarrh　on　a　brother　of　my　craft　and
cloth；〃　said　her　father。

〃The　clerk；　sir；　has　pronounced　Amen；〃　observed　Willoughby。

〃And　no　man　is　happier　to　hear　an　ejaculation　that　he　has　laboured
for　with　so　much　sweat　of　his　brow　than　the　parson；　I　can　assure
you；〃　Dr。　Middleton　mildly　groaned。　〃I　have　notions　of　the　trouble
of　Abraham。　A　sermon　of　that　description　is　an　immolation　of　the
parent；　however　it　may　go　with　the　child。〃

Willoughby　soothed　his　Clara。

〃I　wish　I　had　been　here　to　share　it。　I　might　have　saved　you　some
tears。　I　may　have　been　hasty　in　our　little　dissensions。　I　will
acknowledge　that　I　have　been。　My　temper　is　often　irascible。〃

〃And　so　is　mine！〃　exclaimed　Dr。　Middleton。　〃And　yet　I　am　not　aware
that　I　made　the　worse　husband　for　it。　Nor　do　I　rightly　comprehend
how　a　probably　justly　excitable　temper　can　stand　for　a　plea　in
mitigation　of　an　attempt　at　an　outrageous　breach　of　faith。〃

〃The　sermon　is　over；　sir。〃

〃Reverberations！〃　the　Rev。　Doctor　waved　his　arm　placably。
〃Take　it　for　thunder　heard　remote。〃

〃Your　hand；　my　love；〃　Willoughby　murmured。

The　hand　was　not　put　forth。

Dr。　Middleton　remarked　the　fact。　He　walked　to　the　window。　and
perceiving　the　pair　in　the　same　position　when　he　faced　about；　he
delivered　a　cough　of　admonition。

〃It　is　cruel！〃　said　Clara。

〃That　the　owner　of　your　hand　should　petition　you　for　it？〃　inquired
her　father。

She　sought　refuge　in　a　fit　of　tears。

Willoughby　bent　above　her；　mute。

〃Is　a　scene　that　is　hardly　conceivable　as　a　parent's　obligation
once　in　a　lustrum；　to　be　repeated　within　the　half　hour？〃　shouted
her　father。

She　drew　up　her　shoulders　and　shook；　let　them　fall　and　dropped　her
head。

〃My　dearest！　your　hand！〃　fluted　Willoughby。

The　hand　surrendered；　it　was　much　like　the　icicle　of　a　sudden
thaw。

Willoughby　squeezed　it　to　his　ribs。

Dr。　Middleton　marched　up　and　down　the　room　with　his　arms　locked
behind　him。　The　silence　between　the　young　people　seemed　to
denounce　his　presence。

He　said；　cordially：　〃Old　Hiems　has　but　to　withdraw　for　buds　to
burst。　'Jam　ver　egelidos　refert　tepores。〃　The　equinoctial　fury
departs。　I　will　leave　you　for　a　term。〃

Clara　and　Willoughby　simultaneously　raised　their　faces　with
opposing　expressions。

〃My　girl！〃　Her　father　stood　by　her；　laying　gentle　hand　on　her。

〃Yes；　papa；　I　will　come　out　to　you；〃　she　replied　to　his　apology
for　the　rather　heavy　weight　of　his　vocabulary；　and　smiled。

〃No；　sir；　I　beg　you　will　remain；〃　said　Willoughby。

〃I　keep　you　frost…bound。〃

Clara　did　not　deny　it。

Willoughby　emphatically　did。

Then　which　of　them　was　the　more　lover…like？　Dr。　Middleton　would　for
the　moment　have　supposed　his　daughter。

Clara　said：　〃Shall　you　be　on　the　lawn；　papa？〃

Willoughby　interposed。　〃Stay；　sir；　give　us　your　blessing。〃

〃That　you　have。〃　Dr。　Middleton　hastily　motioned　the　paternal　
ceremony　in　outline。

〃A　few　minutes；　papa；〃　said　Clara。

〃Will　she　name　the　day？〃　came　eagerly　from　Willoughby。

〃I　cannot！〃　Clara　cried　in　extremity。

〃The　day　is　important　on　its　arrival；〃　said　her　father；　〃but　I
apprehend　the　decision　to　be　of　the　chief　importance　at　present。　
First　prime　your　piece　of　artillery；　my　friend。〃

〃The　decision　is　taken；　sir。〃

〃Then　I　will　be　out　of　the　way　of　the　firing。　Hit　what　day　you
please。〃

Clara　checked　herself　on　an　impetuous　exclamation。　It　was　done
that　her　father　might　not　be　detained。

Her　astute　self…compression　sharpened　Willoughby　as　much　as　it
mortified　and　terrified　him。　He　understood　how　he　would　stand　in
an　instant　were　Dr。　Middleton　absent。　Her　father　was　the　tribunal
she　dreaded；　and　affairs　must　be　settled　and　made　irrevocable
while　he　was　with　them。　To　sting　the　blood　of　the　girl；　he　called
her　his　darling；　and　half　enwound　her；　shadowing　forth　a　salute。

She　strung　her　body　to　submit；　seeing　her　father　take　it　as　a
signal　for　his　immediate　retirement。

Willoughby　was　upon　him　before　he　reached　the　door。

〃Hear　us　out；　sir。　Do　not　go。　Stay；　at　my　entreaty。　I　fear　we　have
not　come　to　a　perfect　reconcilement。〃

〃If　that　is　your　opinion；〃　said　Clara；　〃it　is　good　reason　for　not
distressing　my　father。〃

〃Dr　Middleton；　I　love　your　daughter。　I　wooed　her　and　won　her；　I
had　your　consent　to　our　union；　and　I　was　the　happiest　of　mankind。
In　some　way；　since　her　coming　to　my　house；　I　know　not　howshe
will　not　tell　me；　or　cannotI　offended。　One　may　be　innocent　and
offend。　I　have　never　pretended　to　impeccability；　which　is　an
admission　that　I　may　very　naturally　offend。　My　appeal　to　her　is
for　an　explanation　or　for　pardon。　I　obtain　neither。　Had　our
positions　been　reversed；　oh；　not　for　any　real　offencenot　for
the　worst　that　can　be　imaginedI　think　notI　hope　notcould
I　have　been　tempted　to　propose　the　dissolution　of　our　engagement。
To　love　is　to　love；　with　me；　an　engagement　a　solemn　bond。　With　all
my　errors　I　have　that　merit　of　utter　fidelityto　the　world
laughable！　I　confess　to　a　multitude　of　errors；　I　have　that　single
merit；　and　am　not　the　more　estimable　in　your　daughter's　eyes　on
account　of　it；　I　fear。　In　plain　words；　I　am；　I　do　not　doubt；　one
of　the　fools　among　men；　of　the　description　of　human　dog　commonly
known　as　faithfulwhose　destiny　is　that　of　a　tribe。　A　man　who
cries　out　when　he　is　hurt　is　absurd；　and　I　am　not　asking　for
sympathy。　Call　me　luckless。　But　I　abhor　a　breach　of　faith。　A
broken　pledge　is　hateful　to　me。　I　should　regard　it　myself　as　a
form　of　suicide。　There　are　principles　which　civilized　men　must
contend　for。　Our　social　fabric　is　based　on　them。　As　my　word　stands
for　me；　I　hold　others　to　theirs。　If　that　is　not　done；　the　world　is
more　or　less　a　carnival　of　counterfeits。　In　this　instanceAh！
Clara；　my　love！　and　you　have　principles：　you　have　inherited；　you
have　been　indoctrinated　with　them：　have　I；　then；　in　my　ignorance；
offended　past　penitence；　that　you；　of　all　women？　。。。　And　without
being　able　to　name　my　sin！Not　only　for　what　I　lose　by　it；　but
in　the　abstract；　judiciallyapart　from　the　sentiment　of　personal
interest；　grief；　pain；　and　the　possibility　of　my　having　to　endure
that　which　no　temptation　would　induce　me　to　commit：judicially；
I　fear；　sir；　I　am　a　poor　forensic　orator　。　。　。〃

〃The　situation；　sir；　does　not　demand　a　Cicero：　proceed；〃　said　Dr。
Middleton；　balked　in　his　approving　nods　at　the　right　true　things
delivered。

〃Judicially；　I　am　bold　to　say；　though　it　may　appear　a　presumption　
in　one　suffering　acutely；　I　abhor　a　breach　of　faith。〃

Dr。　Middleton　brought　his　nod　down　low　upon　the　phrase　he　had
anticipated。　〃And　I；〃　said　he；　〃personally；　and　presently；　abhor　a
breach　of　faith。　Judicially？　Judicially　to　examine；　judicially　to
condemn：　but　does　the　judicial　mind　detest？　I　think；　sir；　we　are
not　on　the　bench　when　we　say　that　we　abhor：　we　have　unseated
ourselves。　Yet　our　abhorrence　of　bad　conduct　is　very　certain。　You
would　signify；　impersonally：　which　suffices　for　this　exposition　of
your　feelings。〃

He　peered　at　the　gentleman　under　his　brows；　and　resumed：

〃She　has　had　it；　Willoughby；　she　has　had　it　in　plain　Saxon　and　in
uncompromising　Olympian。　There　is；　I　conceive；　no　necessity　to
revert　to　it。〃

〃Pardon　me；　sir；　but　I　am　still　unforgiven。〃

〃You　must　babble　out　the　rest　between　you。　I　am　about　as　much　at
home　as　a　turkey　with　a　pair　of　pigeons。〃

〃Leave　us；　father；〃　said　Clara。

〃First　join　our　hands；　and　let　me　give　you　that　title；　sir。〃

〃Reach　the　good　man　your　hand；　my　girl；　forthright；　from　the
shoulder；　like　a　brave　boxer。　Humour　a　lover。　He　asks　for　his
own。〃

〃It　is　more　than　I　can　do；　father。〃

〃How；　it　is　more　than　you　can　do？　You　are　engaged　to　him；　a
plighted　woman。〃

〃I　do　not　wish　to　marry。〃

〃The　apology　is　inadequate。〃

〃I　am　unworthy。。。〃

〃Chatter！　chatter！〃

〃I　beg　him　to　release　me。〃

〃Lunacy！〃

〃I　have　no　love　to　give　him。〃

〃Have　you　gone　back　to　your　cradle；　Clara　Middleton？〃

〃Oh；　leave　us；　dear　father！〃

〃My　offence；　Clara；　my　offence！　What　is　it？　Will　you　only　name
it？〃

〃Father；　will　you　leave　us？　We　can　better　speak　together　。　。

〃We　have　spoken；　Clara；　how　often！〃　Willoughby　resumed；　
〃with　what　result？that　you　loved　me；　that　you　have　ceased　to
love　me：　that　your　heart　was　mine；　that　you　have　withdrawn　it；
plucked　it　from　me：　that　you　request　me　to　consent　to　a　sacrifice
involving　my　reputation；　my　life。　And　what　have　I　done？　I　am　the
same；　unchangeable。　I　loved　and　love　you：　my　heart　was　yours；　and
is；　and　will　be　yours　forever。　You　are　my　affiancedthat　is；　my
wife。　What　have　I　done？〃

〃It　is　indeed　useless；〃　Clara　sighed。

〃Not　useless；　my　girl；　that　you　should　inform　this　gentleman；　your
affianced　husband；　of　the　ground　of　the　objection　you　conceived
against　him。〃

〃I　cannot　say。〃

〃Do　you　know？〃

〃If　I　could　name　it；　I　could　hope　to　overcome　it。〃

Dr。　Middleton　addressed　Sir　Willoughby。

〃I　verily　believe　we　are　directing　the　girl　to　dissect　a　caprice。
Such　things　are　seen　large　by　these　young　people；　but　as　they　have
neither　organs；　nor　arteries；　nor　brains；　nor　membranes；
dissection　and　inspection　will　he　alike　profitlessly　practised。
Your　inquiry　is　natural　for　a　lover；　whose　passion　to　enter　into
relations　with　the　sex　is　ordinarily　in　proportion　to　his　ignorance
of　the　stuff　composing　them。　At　a　partic