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donal grant-第51部分

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〃What the deuce is that to you?〃

〃I wish your lordship to understand that whatever comes to my
knowledge concerning your proceedings in regard to her; I will
report to your father if I see fit。〃

〃The warning is unnecessary。 Few informers; however; would have
given me the advantage; and I thank you: so far I am indebted to
you。 None the less the shame of the informer remains!〃

〃Your lordship's judgment of me is no more to me than that of yon
rook up there。〃

〃You doubt my honour?〃 said Forgue with a sneer。

〃I do。 I doubt you。 You do not know yourself。 Time will show。 For
God's sake; my lord; look to yourself! You are in terrible danger。〃

〃I would rather do wrong for love than right for fear。 I scorn such
threats。〃

〃Threats; my lord!〃 echoed Donal。 〃Is it a threat to warn you that
your very consciousness may become a curse to you? that to know
yourself may be your hell? that you may come to make it your first
care to forget what you are? Do you know what Shakspere says of
Tarquin

     Besides; his soul's fair temple is defaced;
     To whose weak ruins muster troops of cares;
     To ask the spotted princess how she fares?〃

〃Oh; hang your preaching!〃 cried Forgue; and turned away。

〃My lord;〃 said Donal; 〃if you will not hear me; there are preachers
you must。〃

〃They will not be quite so long…winded then!〃 Forgue answered。

〃You are right;〃 said Donal; 〃they will not。〃

All Forgue's thoughts were now occupied with the question how with
least danger Eppy and he were to meet。 He did not contemplate
treachery。 At this time of his life he could not have respected
himself; little as was required for that; had he been consciously
treacherous; but no man who in love yet loves himself more; is safe
from becoming a traitor: potentially he is one already。 Treachery to
him who is guilty of it seems only natural self…preservation; the
man who can do a vile thing is incapable of seeing it as it is; and
that ought to make us doubtful of our judgments of ourselves;
especially defensive judgments。 Forgue did not suspect himselfnot
although he knew that his passion had but just regained a lost
energy; revived at the idea of another man having the girl! It did
not shame him that he had begun to forget her; or that he had been
so roused to fresh desire。 If he had stayed away six months; he
would practically have forgotten her altogether。 Some may think
that; if he had devotion enough to surmount the vulgarities of her
position and manners and ways of thought; his love could hardly be
such as to yield so soon; but Eppy was not in herself vulgar。 Many
of even humbler education than she are far less really vulgar than
some in the forefront of society。 No doubt the conventionalities of
a man like Forgue must have been sometimes shocked in familiar
intercourse with one like Eppy; but while he was merely flirting
with her; the very things that shocked would also amuse himfor I
need hardly say he was not genuinely refined; and by and by the
growing passion obscured them。 There is no doubt that; had she been
confronted as his wife with the common people of society; he would
have become aware of many things as vulgarities which were only
simplicities; but in the meantime she was no more vulgar to him than
a lamb or a baby is vulgar; however unfit either for a Belgravian
drawing…room。 Vulgar; at the same time; he would have thought and
felt her; but for the love that made him do her justice。 Love is the
opener as well as closer of eyes。 But men who; having seen; become
blind again; think they have had their eyes finally opened。

For some time there was no change in Eppy's behaviour but that she
was not tearful as before。 She continued diligent; never grumbled at
the hardest work; and seemed desirous of making up for remissness in
the past; when in truth she was trying to make up for something else
in the present: she would atone for what she would not tell; by
doing immediate duty with the greater devotion。 But by and by she
began occasionally to show; both in manner and countenance; a little
of the old pertness; mingled with uneasiness。 The phenomenon;
however; was so intermittent and unpronounced; as to be manifest
only to eyes familiar with her looks and ways: to Donal it was clear
that the relation between her and Forgue was resumed。 Yet she never
went out in the evening except sent by her grandmother; and then she
always came home even with hasteanxious; it might have seemed; to
avoid suspicion。

It was the custom with Donal and Davie to go often into the fields
and woods in the fine weatherthey called this their observation
classto learn what they might of the multitudinous goings on in
this or that of Nature's workshops: there each for himself and the
other exercised his individual powers of seeing and noting and
putting together。 Donal knew little of woodland matters; having been
chiefly accustomed to meadows and bare hill…sides; yet in the woods
he was the keener of the two to observe; and could the better teach
that he was but a better learner。

One day; as they were walking together under the thin shade of a
fir…thicket; Davie said; with a sudden change of subject

〃I wonder if we shall meet Forgue to…day! he gets up early now; and
goes out。 It is neither to fish nor shoot; for he doesn't take his
rod or gun; he must be watching or looking for something!Shouldn't
you say so; Mr。 Grant?〃

This set Donal thinking。 Eppy was never out at night; or only for a
few minutes; and Forgue went out early in the morning! But if Eppy
would meet him; how could he or anyone help it?




CHAPTER XLV。

A LAST ENCOUNTER。

Now for a while; Donal seldom saw lady Arctura; and when he did;
received from her no encouragement to address her。 The troubled look
had reappeared on her face。 In her smile; as they passed in hall or
corridor; glimmered an expression almost patheticsomething like an
appeal; as if she stood in sore need of his help; but dared not ask
for it。 She was again much in the company of Miss Carmichael; and
Donal had good cause to fear that the pharisaism of her would…be
directress was coming down upon her spirit; not like rain on the
mown grass; but like frost on the spring flowers。 The impossibility
of piercing the Christian pharisee holding the traditions of the
elders; in any vital partso pachydermatous is he to any spiritual
argumentis a sore trial to the old Adam still unslain in lovers of
the truth。 At the same time nothing gives patience better
opportunity for her perfect work。 And it is well they cannot be
reached by argument and so persuaded; they would but enter the
circles of the faithful to work fresh schisms and breed fresh
imposthumes。

But Donal had begun to think that he had been too forbearing towards
the hideous doctrines advocated by Miss Carmichael。 It is one thing
where evil doctrines are quietly held; and the truth associated with
them assimilated by good people doing their best with what has been
taught them; and quite another thing where they are forced upon some
shrinking nature; weak to resist through the very reverence which is
its excellence。 The finer nature; from inability to think another of
less pure intent than itself; is often at a great disadvantage in
the hands of the coarser。 He made up his mind that; risk as it was
to enter into disputations with a worshipper of the letter; inasmuch
as for argument the letter is immeasurably more available than the
spiritfor while the spirit lies in the letter unperceived; it has
no force; and the letter…worshipper is incapable of seeing that God
could not possibly mean what he makes of itnotwithstanding the
risk; he resolved to hold himself ready; and if anything was given
him; to cry it out and not spare。 Nor had he long resolved ere the
opportunity came。

It had come to be known that Donal frequented the old avenue; and it
was with intent; in the pride of her acquaintance with scripture;
and her power to use it; that Miss Carmichael one afternoon led her
unwilling; rather recusant; and very unhappy disciple thither: she
sought an encounter with him: his insolence towards the
old…established faith must be confounded; his obnoxious influence on
Arctura frustrated! It was a bright autumnal day。 The trees were
sorely bereaved; but some foliage yet hung in thin yellow clouds
upon their patient boughs。 There was plenty of what Davie called
scushlin; that is the noise of walking with scarce lifted feet
amongst the thick…lying withered leaves。 But less foliage means more
sunlight。

Donal was sauntering along; his book in his hand; now and then
reading a little; now and then looking up to the half…bared
branches; now and then; like Davie; sweeping a cloud of the fallen
multitude before him。 He was in this childish act when; looking up;
he saw the two ladies approaching; he did not see the peculiar
glance Miss Carmichael threw her companion: 〃Behold your prophet!〃
it said。 He would have passed with lifted bonnet; but Miss
Carmichael stopped; smiling: her smile was bright because it showed
her good teeth; but was not pleasant because it showed nothing else。

〃Glorying over the fallen; Mr。 Grant?〃 she said。

Donal in his turn smiled。

〃That is not Mr。 Grant's way;〃 said Arctura; 〃so far at least as I
have known him!〃

〃How careless the trees are of their poor children!〃 said Miss
Carmichael; affecting sympathy for the leaves。

〃Pardon me;〃 said Donal; 〃if I grudge them your pity: there is
nothing more of children in those leaves than there is in the hair
that falls on the barber's floor。〃

〃It is not very gracious to pull a lady up so sharply!〃 returned
Miss Carmichael; still smiling: 〃I spoke poetically。〃

〃There is no poetry in what is not true;〃 rejoined Donal。 〃Those are
not the children of the tree。〃

〃Of course;〃 said Miss Carmichael; a little surprised to find their
foils crossed already; 〃a tree has no children! but〃

〃A tree no children!〃 exclaimed Donal。 〃What then are all those
beech…nuts under the leaves? Are they not the children of the tree?〃

〃Yes; and lost like the leaves!〃 sighed Miss Carmichael。

〃Why do you say they are lost? They must fulfil the end for which
they were made; a

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