worldly ways and byways-第14部分

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risk　their　lives　and　digestions　in　long　journeys　into　Central　

Africa　or　to　the　frozen　zones；　while　so　much　good　material　lies　

ready　to　their　hands　in　our　own　land。　　The　habits　of　the　〃natives〃　

in　New　England　alone　might　occupy　an　active　mind　indefinitely；　

offering　as　interesting　problems　as　any　to　be　solved　by　penetrating　

Central　Asia　or　visiting　the　man…eating　tribes　of　Australia。



Perhaps　one　of　our　scientific　celebrities；　before　undertaking　his　

next　long　voyage；　will　find　time　to　make　observations　at　home　and　

collect　sufficient　data　to　answer　some　questions　that　have　long　

puzzled　my　unscientific　brain。　　He　would　be　doing　good　work。　　Fame　

and　honors　await　the　man　who　can　explain　why；　for　instance；　sane　

Americans　of　the　better　class；　with　money　enough　to　choose　their　

surroundings；　should　pass　so　much　of　their　time　in　hotels　and　

boarding　houses。　　There　must　be　a　reason　for　the　vogue　of　these　

retreats　…　every　action　has　a　cause；　however　remote。　　I　shall　await　

with　the　deepest　interest　a　paper　on　this　subject　from　one　of　our　

great　explorers；　untoward　circumstances　having　some　time　ago　forced　

me　to　pass　a　few　days　in　a　popular　establishment　of　this　class。



During　my　visit　I　amused　myself　by　observing　the　inmates　and　trying　

to　discover　why　they　had　come　there。　　So　far　as　I　could　find　out；　

the　greater　part　of　them　belonged　to　our　well…to…do　class；　and　when　

at　home　doubtless　lived　in　luxurious　houses　and　were　waited　on　by　

trained　servants。　　In　the　small　summer　hotel　where　I　met　them；　they　

were　living　in　dreary　little　ten　by　twelve　foot　rooms；　containing　

only　the　absolute　necessities　of　existence；　a　wash…stand；　a　bureau；　

two　chairs　and　a　bed。　　And　such　a　bed！　　One　mattress　about　four　

inches　thick　over　squeaking　slats；　cotton　sheets；　so　nicely　

calculated　to　the　size　of　the　bed　that　the　slightest　move　on　the　

part　of　the　sleeper　would　detach　them　from　their　moorings　and　undo　

the　housemaid's　work；　two　limp；　discouraged　pillows　that　had　

evidently　been　〃banting；〃　and　a　few　towels　a　foot　long　with　a　

surface　like　sand…paper；　completed　the　fittings　of　the　room。　　Baths　

were　unknown；　and　hot　water　was　a　luxury　distributed　sparingly　by　a　

capricious　handmaiden。　　It　is　only　fair　to　add　that　everything　in　

the　room　was　perfectly　clean；　as　was　the　coarse　table　linen　in　the　

dining　room。



The　meals　were　in　harmony　with　the　rooms　and　furniture；　consisting　

only　of　the　strict　necessities；　cooked　with　a　Spartan　disregard　for　

such　sybarite　foibles　as　seasoning　or　dressing。　　I　believe　there　

was　a　substantial　meal　somewhere　in　the　early　morning　hours；　but　I　

never　succeeded　in　getting　down　in　time　to　inspect　it。　　By　

successful　bribery；　I　induced　one　of　the　village　belles；　who　served　

at　table；　to　bring　a　cup　of　coffee　to　my　room。　　The　first　morning　

it　appeared　already　poured　out　in　the　cup；　with　sugar　and　cold　milk　

added　at　her　discretion。　　At　one　o'clock　a　dinner　was　served；　

consisting　of　soup　（occasionally）；　one　meat　dish　and　attendant　

vegetables；　a　meagre　dessert；　and　nothing　else。　　At　half…past　six　

there　was　an　equally　rudimentary　meal；　called　〃tea；〃　after　which　no　

further　food　was　distributed　to　the　inmates；　who　all；　however；　

seemed　perfectly　contented　with　this　arrangement。　　In　fact　they　

apparently　looked　on　the　act　of　eating　as　a　disagreeable　task；　to　

be　hurried　through　as　soon　as　possible　that　they　might　return　to　

their　aimless　rocking　and　chattering。



Instead　of　dinner　hour　being　the　feature　of　the　day；　uniting　people　

around　an　attractive　table；　and　attended　by　conversation；　and　the　

meal　lasting　long　enough　for　one's　food　to　be　properly　eaten；　it　

was　rushed　through　as　though　we　were　all　trying　to　catch　a　train。　　

Then；　when　the　meal　was　over；　the　boarders　relapsed　into　apathy　

again。



No　one　ever　called　this　hospitable　home　a　boarding…house；　for　the　

proprietor　was　furious　if　it　was　given　that　name。　　He　also　scorned　

the　idea　of　keeping　a　hotel。　　So　that　I　never　quite　understood　in　

what　relation　he　stood　toward　us。　　He　certainly　considered　himself　

our　host；　and　ignored　the　financial　side　of　the　question　severely。　　

In　order　not　to　hurt　his　feelings　by　speaking　to　him　of　money；　we　

were　obliged　to　get　our　bills　by　strategy　from　a　male　subordinate。　　

Mine　host　and　his　family　were　apparently　unaware　that　there　were　

people　under　their　roof　who　paid　them　for　board　and　lodging。　　We　

were　all　looked　upon　as　guests　and　〃entertained；〃　and　our　rights　

impartially　ignored。



Nothing；　I　find；　is　so　distinctive　of　New　England　as　this　graceful　

veiling　of　the　practical　side　of　life。　　The　landlady　always　

reminded　me；　by　her　manner；　of　Barrie's　description　of　the　bill…

sticker's　wife　who　〃cut〃　her　husband　when　she　chanced　to　meet　him　

〃professionally〃　engaged。　　As　a　result　of　this　extreme　detachment　

from　things　material；　the　house　ran　itself；　or　was　run　by　

incompetent　Irish　and　negro　〃help。〃　　There　were　no　bells　in　the　

rooms；　which　simplified　the　service；　and　nothing　could　be　ordered　

out　of　meal　hours。



The　material　defects　in　board　and　lodging　sink；　however；　into　

insignificance　before　the　moral　and　social　unpleasantness　of　an　

establishment　such　as　this。　　All　ages；　all　conditions；　and　all　

creeds　are　promiscuously　huddled　together。　　It　is　impossible　to　

choose　whom　one　shall　know　or　whom　avoid。　　A　horrible　burlesque　of　

family　life　is　enabled；　with　all　its　inconveniences　and　none　of　its　

sanctity。　　People　from　different　cities；　with　different　interests　

and　standards；　are　expected　to　〃chum〃　together　in　an　intimacy　that　

begins　with　the　eight　o'clock　breakfast　and　ends　only　when　all　

retire　for　the　night。　　No　privacy；　no　isolation　is　allowed。　　If　you　

take　a　book　and　begin　to　read　in　a　remote　corner　of　a　parlor　or　

piazza；　some　idle　matron　or　idiotic　girl　will　tranquilly　invade　

your　poor　little　bit　of　privacy　and　gabble　of　her　affairs　and　the　

day's　gossip。　　There　is　no　escape　unless　you　mount　to　your　ten…by…

twelve　cell　and　sit　（like　the　Premiers　of　England　when　they　visit　

Balmoral）　on　the　bed；　to　do　your　writing；　for　want　of　any　other　

conveniences。　　Even　such　retirement　is　resented　by　the　boarders。　　

You　are　thought　to　be　haughty　and　to　give　yourself　airs　if　you　do　

not　sit　for　twelve　consecutive　hours　each　day　in　unending　

conversation　with　them。



When　one　reflects　that　thousands　of　our　countrymen　pass　at　least　

one…half　of　their　lives　in　these　asylums；　and　that　thousands　more　

in　America　know　no　other　homes；　but　move　from　one　hotel　to　another；　

while　the　same　outlay　would　procure　them　cosy；　cheerful　dwellings；　

it　does　seem　as　if　these　modern　Arabs；　Holmes's　〃Folding　Bed…

ouins；〃　were　gradually　returning　to　prehistoric　habits　and　would　

end　by　eating　roots　promiscuously　in　caves。



The　contradiction　appears　more　marked　the　longer　one　reflects　on　

the　love　of　independence　and　impatience　of　all　restraint　that　

characterize　our　race。　　If　such　an　institution　had　been　conceived　

by　people　of　the　Old　World；　accustomed　to　moral　slavery　and　to　a　

thousand　petty　tyrannies；　it　would　not　be　so　remarkable；　but　that　

we；　of　all　the　races　of　the　earth；　should　have　created　a　form　of　

torture　unknown　to　Louis　XI。　or　to　the　Spanish　Inquisitors；　is　

indeed　inexplicable！　　Outside　of　this　happy　land　the　institution　is　

unknown。　　The　PENSION　when　it　exists　abroad；　is　only　an　exotic　

growth　for　an　American　market。　　Among　European　nations　it　is　

undreamed　of；　the　poorest　when　they　travel　take　furnished　rooms；　

where　they　are　served　in　private；　or　go　to　restaurants　or　TABLE　

D'HOTES　for　their　meals。　　In　a　strictly　continental　hotel　the　

public　parlor　does　not　exist。　　People　do　not　travel　to　make　

acquaintances；　but　for　health　or　recreation；　or　to　improve　their　

minds。　　The　enforced　intimacy　of　our　American　family　house；　with　

its　attendant　quarrelling　and　back…biting；　is　an　infliction　of　

which　Europeans　are　in　happy　ignorance。



One　explanation；　only；　occurs　to　me；　which　is　that　among　New　

England　people；　largely　descended　from　Puritan　stock；　there　still　

lingers　some　blind　impulse　at　self…mortification；　an　hereditary　

inclination　to　make　this　life　as　disagreeable　as　possible　by　self…

immolation。　　Their　ancestors；　we　are　told　by　Macaulay；　suppressed　

bull　baiting；　not　because　it　hurt　the　bull；　but　because　it　gave　

pleasure　to　the　people。　　Here　in　New　England　they　refused　the　Roman　

dogma　of　Purgatory　and　then　with　complete　inconsistency；　invented　

the　boarding…house；　in　order；　doubtless；　to　take　as　much　of　the　joy　

as　possible　out　of　this　life；　as　a　preparation　for　endless　bliss　in　

the　next。









CHAPTER　15　…　A　False　Start





HAVING　had；　during　a　wandering　existence；　many　opportunities　of　

observing　my　compatriots　away　from　home　and　familiar　surroundings　

in　various　circles　of　cosmopolitan　society；　at　foreign　courts；　in　

diplomatic　life；　or　unofficial　capacities；　I　am　forced　to　

acknowledge　that　whereas　my　countrywoman　invariably　assumed　her　new　

position　with　grace　and　dignity；　my　countryman；　in　the　majority　of　

cases；　appeared　at　a　disadvantage。



I　take　particular　pleasure　in　making　this　tribute　to　my　〃sisters〃　

tact　and　wit；　as　I　have　been　accused　of　being　〃hard〃　on　American　

women；　and　some　half…humorous　criticisms　have　been　taken　seriously　

by　over…susceptible　women　…　doubtless　troubled　with　guilty　

consciences　for　nothing　is　more　exact　than　the　old　French　proverb；　

〃It　is　only　the　truth　that　wounds。〃



The　fact　remains　clear；　however；　that　American　men；　as　regards　

polish；　facility　in　expressing　themselves　in　foreign　languages；　the　

arts　of　pleasing　and　entertaining；　in　short；　the　thousand　and　one　

nothings　composing　that　agreeable　whole；　a　cultivated　member　of　

society；　are　inferior　to　their　womankind。　　I　feel　sure　that　all　

Americans　who　have　travelled　and　have　seen　their　compatriot　in　his　

social　relations　with　foreigners；　w