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you had in younger days。  One is tempted to look a little closer; 

to analyze what the change is; in what this subtle difference 

consists; which you feel between your past and their present。  You 

are surprised and a little angry to discover that; among other 

things; young men have better manners than were general among the 

youths of fifteen years ago。



Anyone over forty can remember three epochs in men's manners。  When 

I was a very young man; there were still going about in society a 

number of gentlemen belonging to what was reverently called the 

〃old school;〃 who had evidently taken Sir Charles Grandison as 

their model; read Lord Chesterfield's letters to his son with 

attention; and been brought up to commence letters to their 

fathers; 〃Honored Parent;〃 signing themselves 〃Your humble servant 

and respectful son。〃  There are a few such old gentlemen still to 

be found in the more conservative clubs; where certain windows are 

tacitly abandoned to these elegant…mannered fossils。  They are 

quite harmless unless you happen to find them in a reminiscent 

mood; when they are apt to be a little tiresome; it takes their 

rusty mental machinery so long to get working!  Washington 

possesses a particularly fine collection among the retired army and 

navy officers and ex…officials。  It is a fact well known that no 

one drawing a pension ever dies。



About 1875; a new generation with new manners began to make its 

appearance。  A number of its members had been educated at English 

universities; and came home burning to upset old ways and teach 

their elders how to live。  They broke away from the old clubs and 

started smaller and more exclusive circles among themselves; 

principally in the country。  This was a period of bad manners。  

True to their English model; they considered it 〃good form〃 to be 

uncivil and to make no effort towards the general entertainment 

when in society。  Not to speak more than a word or two during a 

dinner party to either of one's neighbors was the supreme CHIC。  As 

a revolt from the twice…told tales of their elders they held it to 

be 〃bad form〃 to tell a story; no matter how fresh and amusing it 

might be。  An unfortunate outsider who ventured to tell one in 

their club was crushed by having his tale received in dead silence。  

When it was finished one of the party would 〃ring the bell;〃 and 

the circle order drinks at the expense of the man who had dared to 

amuse them。  How the professional story…teller must have shuddered 

… he whose story never was ripe until it had been told a couple of 

hundred times; and who would produce a certain tale at a certain 

course as surely as clock…work。



That the story…telling type was a bore; I grant。  To be grabbed on 

entering your club and obliged to listen to Smith's last; or to 

have the conversation after dinner monopolized by Jones and his 

eternal 〃Speaking of coffee; I remember once;〃 etc。 added an 

additional hardship to existence。  But the opposite pose; which 

became the fashion among the reformers; was hardly less wearisome。  

To sit among a group of perfectly mute men; with an occasional word 

dropping into the silence like a stone in a well; was surely little 

better。



A girl told me she had once sat through an entire cotillion with a 

youth whose only remark during the evening had been (after absorbed 

contemplation of the articles in question); 〃How do you like my 

socks?〃



On another occasion my neighbor at table said to me:



〃I think the man on my right has gone to sleep。  He is sitting with 

his eyes closed!〃  She was mistaken。  He was practising his newly 

acquired 〃repose of manner;〃 and living up to the standard of his 

set。



The model young man of that period had another offensive habit; his 

pose of never seeing you; which got on the nerves of his elders to 

a considerable extent。  If he came into a drawing…room where you 

were sitting with a lady; he would shake hands with her and begin a 

conversation; ignoring your existence; although you may have been 

his guest at dinner the night before; or he yours。  This was also a 

tenet of his creed borrowed from trans…Atlantic cousins; who; by 

the bye; during the time I speak of; found America; and especially 

our Eastern states; a happy hunting…ground; … all the clubs; 

country houses; and society generally opening their doors to the 

〃sesame〃 of English nationality。  It took our innocent youths a 

good ten years to discover that there was no reciprocity in the 

arrangement; it was only in the next epoch (the list of the three 

referred to) that our men recovered their self…respect; and assumed 

towards foreigners in general the attitude of polite indifference 

which is their manner to us when abroad。  Nothing could have been 

more provincial and narrow than the ideas of our 〃smart〃 men at 

that time。  They congregated in little cliques; huddling together 

in public; and cracking personal old jokes; but were speechless 

with MAUVAISE HONTE if thrown among foreigners or into other 

circles of society。  All this is not to be wondered at considering 

the amount of their general education and reading。  One charming 

little custom then greatly in vogue among our JEUNESSE DOREE was to 

remain at a ball; after the other guests had retired; tipsy; and 

then break anything that came to hand。  It was so amusing to throw 

china; glass; or valuable plants; out of the windows; to strip to 

the waist and box or bait the tired waiters。



I look at the boys growing up around me with sincere admiration; 

they are so superior to their predecessors in breeding; in 

civility; in deference to older people; and in a thousand other 

little ways that mark high…bred men。  The stray Englishman; of no 

particular standing at home no longer finds our men eager to 

entertain him; to put their best 〃hunter〃 at his disposition; to 

board; lodge; and feed him indefinitely; or make him honorary 

member of all their clubs。  It is a constant source of pleasure to 

me to watch this younger generation; so plainly do I see in them 

the influence of their mothers … women I knew as girls; and who 

were so far ahead of their brothers and husbands in refinement and 

culture。  To have seen these girls marry and bring up their sons so 

well has been a satisfaction and a compensation for many 

disillusions。  Woman's influence will always remain the strongest 

lever that can be brought to bear in raising the tone of a family; 

it is impossible not to see about these young men a reflection of 

what we found so charming in their mothers。  One despairs at times 

of humanity; seeing vulgarity and snobbishness riding triumphantly 

upward; but where the tone of the younger generation is as high as 

I have lately found it; there is still much hope for the future。









CHAPTER 32 … An Ideal Hostess





THE saying that 〃One…half of the world ignores how the other half 

lives〃 received for me an additional confirmation this last week; 

when I had the good fortune to meet again an old friend; now for 

some years retired from the stage; where she had by her charm and 

beauty; as well as by her singing; held all the Parisian world at 

her pretty feet。



Our meeting was followed on her part by an invitation to take 

luncheon with her the next day; 〃to meet a few friends; and talk 

over old times。〃  So half…past twelve (the invariable hour for the 

〃second breakfast;〃 in France) the following day found me entering 

a shady drawing…room; where a few people were sitting in the cool 

half…light that strayed across from a canvas…covered balcony 

furnished with plants and low chairs。  Beyond one caught a glimpse 

of perhaps the gayest picture that the bright city of Paris offers; 

… the sweep of the Boulevard as it turns to the Rue Royale; the 

flower market; gay with a thousand colors in the summer sunshine; 

while above all the color and movement; rose; cool and gray; the 

splendid colonnade of the Madeleine。  The rattle of carriages; the 

roll of the heavy omnibuses and the shrill cries from the street 

below floated up; softened into a harmonious murmur that in no way 

interfered with our conversation; and is sweeter than the finest 

music to those who love their Paris。



Five or six rooms EN SUITE opening on the street; and as many more 

on a large court; formed the apartment; where everything betrayed 

the ARTISTE and the singer。  The walls; hung with silk or tapestry; 

held a collection of original drawings and paintings; a fortune in 

themselves; the dozen portraits of our hostess in favorite roles 

were by men great in the art world; a couple of pianos covered with 

well…worn music and numberless photographs signed with names that 

would have made an autograph…fiend's mouth water。



After a gracious; cooing welcome; more whispered than spoken; I was 

presented to the guests I did not know。  Before this ceremony was 

well over; two maids in black; with white caps; opened a door into 

the dining…room and announced luncheon。  As this is written on the 

theme that 〃people know too little how their neighbors live;〃 I 

give the MENU。  It may amuse my readers and serve; perhaps; as a 

little object lesson to those at home who imagine that quantity and 

not quality is of importance。



Our gracious hostess had earned a fortune in her profession (and I 

am told that two CHEFS preside over her simple meals); so it was 

not a spirit of economy which dictated this simplicity。  At first; 

HORS D'OEUVRES were served; … all sorts of tempting little things; 

… very thin slices of ham; spiced sausages; olives and caviar; and 

eaten … not merely passed and refused。  Then came the one hot dish 

of the meal。  〃One!〃  I think I hear my reader exclaim。  Yes; my 

friend; but that one was a marvel in its way。  Chicken A 

L'ESPAGNOLE; boiled; and buried in rice and tomatoes cooked whole

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