worldly ways and byways-第32部分

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into　the　error　of　indiscriminate　introducing；　appreciating　what　a　

presentation　means　and　what　obligations　it　entails。　　The　English　

fall　into　exactly　the　contrary　error　from　ours；　and　carry　it　to　

absurd　lengths。　　Starting　with　the　assumption　that　everybody　knows　

everybody；　and　being　aware　of　the　general　dread　of　meeting　

〃detrimentals；〃　they　avoid　the　difficulty　by　making　no　

introductions。　　This　may　work　well　among　themselves；　but　it　is　

trying　to　a　stranger　whom　they　have　been　good　enough　to　ask　to　

their　tables；　to　sit　out　the　meal　between　two　people　who　ignore　his　

presence　and　converse　across　him；　for　an　Englishman　will　expire　

sooner　than　speak　to　a　person　to　whom　he　has　not　been　introduced。



The　French；　with　the　marvellous　tact　that　has　for　centuries　made　

them　the　law…givers　on　all　subjects　of　etiquette　and　breeding；　have　

another　way　of　avoiding　useless　introductions。　　They　assume　that　

two　people　meeting　in　a　drawing…room　belong　to　the　same　world　and　

so　chat　pleasantly　with　those　around　them。　　On　leaving　the　SALON　

the　acquaintance　is　supposed　to　end；　and　a　gentleman　who　should　at　

another　time　or　place　bow　or　speak　to　the　lady　who　had　offered　him　

a　cup　of　tea　and　talked　pleasantly　to　him　over　it　at　a　friend's　

reception；　would　commit　a　gross　breach　of　etiquette。



I　was　once　present　at　a　large　dinner　given　in　Cologne　to　the　

American　Geographical　Society。　　No　sooner　was　I　seated　than　my　two　

neighbors　turned　towards　me　mentioning　their　names　and　waiting　for　

me　to　do　the　same。　　After　that　the　conversation　flowed　on　as　among　

friends。　　This　custom　struck　me　as　exceedingly　well…bred　and　

calculated　to　make　a　foreigner　feel　at　his　ease。



Among　other　curious　types；　there　are　people　so　constituted　that　

they　are　unhappy　if　a　single　person　can　be　found　in　the　room　to　

whom　they　have　not　been　introduced。　　It　does　not　matter　who　the　

stranger　may　be　or　what　chance　there　is　of　finding　him　congenial。　　

They　must　be　presented；　nothing　else　will　content　them。　　If　you　are　

chatting　with　a　friend　you　feel　a　pull　at　your　sleeve；　and　in　an　

audible　aside；　they　ask　for　an　introduction。　　The　aspirant　will　

then　bring　up　and　present　the　members　of　his　family　who　happen　to　

be　near。　　After　that　he　seems　to　be　at　ease；　and　having　absolutely　

nothing　to　say　will　soon　drift　off。　　Our　public　men　suffer　terribly　

from　promiscuous　introductions；　it　is　a　part　of　a　political　career；　

a　good　memory　for　names　and　faces　and　a　cordial　manner　under　fire　

have　often　gone　a　long　way　in　floating　a　statesman　on　to　success。



Demand；　we　are　told；　creates　supply。　　During　a　short　stay　in　a　

Florida　hotel　last　winter；　I　noticed　a　curious　little　man　who　

looked　like　a　cross　between　a　waiter　and　a　musician。　　As　he　spoke　

to　me　several　times　and　seemed　very　officious；　I　asked　who　he　was。　　

The　answer　was　so　grotesque　that　I　could　not　believe　my　ears。　　I　

was　told　that　he　held　the　position　of　official　〃introducer；〃　or　

master　of　ceremonies；　and　that　the　guests　under　his　guidance　became　

known　to　each　other；　danced；　rode；　and　married　to　their　own　and　

doubtless　to　his　satisfaction。　　The　further　west　one　goes　the　more　

pronounced　this　mania　becomes。　　Everybody　is　introduced　to　

everybody　on　all　imaginable　occasions。　　If　a　man　asks　you　to　take　a　

drink；　he　presents　you　to　the　bar…tender。　　If　he　takes　you　for　a　

drive；　the　cab…driver　is　introduced。　　〃Boots〃　makes　you　acquainted　

with　the　chambermaid；　and　the　hotel　proprietor　unites　you　in　the　

bonds　of　friendship　with　the　clerk　at　the　desk。　　Intercourse　with　

one's　fellows　becomes　one　long　debauch　of　introduction。　　In　this　

country　where　every　liberty　is　respected；　it　is　a　curious　fact　that　

we　should　be　denied　the　most　important　of　all　rights；　that　of　

choosing　our　acquaintances。









CHAPTER　34　…　A　Question　and　an　Answer





DEAR　IDLER：



I　HAVE　been　reading　your　articles　in　The　Evening　Post。　　They　are　

really　most　amusing！　　You　do　know　such　a　lot　about　people　and　

things；　that　I　am　tempted　to　write　and　ask　you　a　question　on　a　

subject　that　is　puzzling　me。　　What　is　it　that　is　necessary　to　

succeed　…　socially？　　There！　　It　is　out！　　Please　do　not　laugh　at　me。　　

Such　funny　people　get　on　and　such　clever；　agreeable　ones　fail；　that　

I　am　all　at　sea。　　Now　do　be　nice　and　answer　me；　and　you　will　have　a　

very　grateful



ADMIRER。





The　above　note；　in　a　rather　juvenile　feminine　hand；　and　breathing　a　

faint　perfume　of　VIOLETTE　DE　PARME；　was　part　of　the　morning's　mail　

that　I　found　lying　on　my　desk　a　few　days　ago；　in　delightful　

contrast　to　the　bills　and　advertisements　which　formed　the　bulk　of　

my　correspondence。　　It　would　suppose　a　stoicism　greater　than　I　

possess；　not　to　have　felt　a　thrill　of　satisfaction　in　its　perusal。　　

There　was；　then；　some　one　who　read　with　pleasure　what　I　wrote；　and　

who　had　been　moved　to　consult　me　on　a　question　（evidently　to　her）　

of　importance。　　I　instantly　decided　to　do　my　best　for　the　

edification　of　my　fair　correspondent　（for　no　doubt　entered　my　head　

that　she　was　both　young　and　fair）；　the　more　readily　because　that　

very　question　had　frequently　presented　itself　to　my　own　mind　on　

observing　the　very　capricious　choice　of　Dame　〃Fashion〃　in　the　

distribution　of　her　favors。



That　there　are　people　who　succeed　brilliantly　and　move　from　success　

to　success；　amid　an　applauding　crowd　of　friends　and　admirers；　while　

others；　apparently　their　superiors　in　every　way；　are　distanced　in　

the　race；　is　an　undeniable　fact。　　You　have　but　to　glance　around　the　

circle　of　your　acquaintances　and　relations　to　be　convinced　of　this　

anomaly。　　To　a　reflecting　mind　the　question　immediately　presents　

itself；　Why　is　this？　　General　society　is　certainly　cultivated　

enough　to　appreciate　intelligence　and　superior　endowments。　　How　

then　does　it　happen　that　the　social　favorites　are　so　often　lacking　

in　the　qualities　which　at　a　first　glance　would　seem　indispensable　

to　success？



Before　going　any　further　let　us　stop　a　moment；　and　look　at　the　

subject　from　another　side；　for　it　is　more　serious　than　appears　to　

be　on　the　surface。　　To　be　loved　by　those　around　us；　to　stand　well　

in　the　world；　is　certainly　the　most　legitimate　as　well　as　the　most　

common　of　ambitions；　as　well　as　the　incentive　to　most　of　the　

industry　and　perseverance　in　life。　　Aside　from　science；　which　is　

sometimes　followed　for　itself　alone；　and　virtue；　which　we　are　told　

looks　for　no　other　reward；　the　hope　which　inspires　a　great　deal　of　

the　persistent　efforts　we　see；　is　generally　that　of　raising　one's　

self　and　those　one　loves　by　one's　efforts　into　a　sphere　higher　than　

where　cruel　fate　had　placed　them；　that　they；　too；　may　take　their　

place　in　the　sunshine　and　enjoy　the　good　things　of　life。　　This　

ambition　is　often　purely　disinterested；　a　life　of　hardest　toil　is　

cheerfully　borne；　with　the　hope　（for　sole　consolation）　that　dear　

ones　will　profit　later　by　all　the　work；　and　live　in　a　circle　the　

patient　toiler　never　dreams　of　entering。　　Surely　he　is　a　stern　

moralist　who　would　deny　this　satisfaction　to　the　breadwinner　of　a　

family。



There　are　doubtless　many　higher　motives　in　life；　more　elevated　

goals　toward　which　struggling　humanity　should　strive。　　If　you　

examine　the　average　mind；　however；　you　will　be　pretty　sure　to　find　

that　success　is　the　touchstone　by　which　we　judge　our　fellows　and　

what；　in　our　hearts；　we　admire　the　most。　　That　is　not　to　be　

wondered　at；　either；　for　we　have　done　all　we　can　to　implant　it　

there。　　From　a　child's　first　opening　thought；　it　is　impressed　upon　

him　that　the　great　object　of　existence　is　to　succeed。　　Did　a　parent　

ever　tell　a　child　to　try　and　stand　last　in　his　class？　　And　yet　

humility　is　a　virtue　we　admire　in　the　abstract。　　Are　any　of　us　

willing　to　step　aside　and　see　our　inferiors　pass　us　in　the　race？　　

That　is　too　much　to　ask　of　poor　humanity。　　Were　other　and　higher　

standards　to　be　accepted；　the　structure　of　civilization　as　it　

exists　to…day　would　crumble　away　and　the　great　machine　run　down。



In　returning　to　my　correspondent　and　her　perfectly　legitimate　

desire　to　know　the　road　to　success；　we　must　realize　that　to　a　large　

part　of　the　world　social　success　is　the　only　kind　they　understand。　　

The　great　inventors　and　benefactors　of　mankind　live　too　far　away　on　

a　plane　by　themselves　to　be　the　object　of　jealousy　to　any　but　a　

very　small　circle；　on　the　other　hand；　in　these　days　of　equality；　

especially　in　this　country　where　caste　has　never　existed；　the　

social　world　seems　to　hold　out　alluring　and　tangible　gifts　to　him　

who　can　enter　its　enchanted　portals。　　Even　politics；　to　judge　by　

the　actions　of　some　of　our　legislators；　of　late；　would　seem　to　be　

only　a　stepping…stone　to　its　door！



〃But　my　question；〃　I　hear　my　fair　interlocutor　saying。　　〃You　are　

not　answering　it！〃



All　in　good　time；　my　dear。　　I　am　just　about　to　do　so。　　Did　you　ever　

hear　of　Darwin　and　his　theory　of　〃selection？〃　　It　would　be　a　slight　

to　your　intelligence　not　to　take　it　for　granted　that　you　had。　　

Well；　my　observations　in　the　world　lead　me　to　believe　that　we　

follow　there　unconsciously；　the　same　rules　that　guide　the　wild　

beasts　in　the　forest。　　Certain　individuals　are　endowed　by　nature　

with　temperaments　which　make　them　take　naturally　to　a　social　life　

and　shine　there。　　In　it　they　find　their　natural　element。　　They　

develop　freely　just　where　others　shrivel　up　and　disappear。　　There　

is　continually　going　on　unseen　a　〃natural　selection；〃　the　

discarding　of　unfit　material；　the　assimilation　of　new　and　congenial　

elements　from　outside；　with　the　logical　result　of　a　survival　of　the　

fittest。　　Aside　from　this；　you　will　find　in　〃the　world；〃　as　

anywhere　else；　that　the　person　who　succeeds　is　generally　he　who　has　

been　willing　to　give　the　most　of　his　strength　and　mind　to　that　one　

object；　and　has　not　allowed　the　flowers　on　the　hillside　to　distract　

him　from　his　path；　remembering　also　that　g