worldly ways and byways-第37部分

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greatly　affected　by　those　ladies）　found；　to　their　disgust；　that　

their　new　customers　were　often　unable　or　unwilling　to　offer　any　

remuneration。



In　consequence　of　these　and　many　other　disillusions；　Americans　

began　to　be　called　the　〃Destroyers；〃　especially　when　it　became　

known　that　nothing　was　too　heavy　or　too　bulky　to　be　carried　away　by　

the　invaders；　who　tore　the　insides　from　the　native　houses；　the　

paintings　from　the　walls；　the　statues　from　the　temples；　and　

transported　this　booty　across　the　seas；　much　in　the　same　way　as　the　

Romans　had　plundered　Greece。　　Elaborate　furniture　seemed　especially　

to　attract　the　new　arrivals；　who　acquired　vast　quantities　of　it。



Here；　however；　the　wily　natives　（who　were　beginning　to　appreciate　

their　own　belongings）　had　revenge。　　Immense　quantities　of　worthless　

imitations　were　secretly　manufactured　and　sold　to　the　travellers　at　

fabulous　prices。　　The　same　artifice　was　used　with　paintings；　said　

to　be　by　great　masters；　and　with　imitations　of　old　stuffs　and　bric…

a…brac；　which　the　ignorant　and　arrogant　invaders　pretended　to　

appreciate　and　collect。



Previous　to　our　arrival　there　had　been　an　invasion　of　the　Continent　

by　the　English　about　the　year　1812。　　One　of　their　historians；　

called　Thackeray；　gives　an　amusing　account　of　this　in　the　opening　

chapters　of　his　〃Shabby　Genteel　Story。〃　　That　event；　however；　was　

unimportant　in　comparison　with　the　great　American　movement；　

although　both　were　characterized　by　the　same　total　disregard　of　the　

feelings　and　prejudices　of　indigenous　populations。　　The　English　

then　walked　about　the　continental　churches　during　divine　service；　

gazing　at　the　pictures　and　consulting　their　guide…books　as　

unconcernedly　as　our　compatriots　do　to…day。　　They　also　crowded　into　

theatres　and　concert　halls；　and　afterwards　wrote　to　the　newspapers　

complaining　of　the　bad　atmosphere　of　those　primitive　establishments　

and　of　the　long　ENTR'ACTES。



As　long　as　the　invaders　confined　themselves　to　such　trifles；　the　

patient　foreigners　submitted　to　their　overbearing　and　uncouth　ways　

because　of　the　supposed　benefit　to　trade。　　The　natives　even　went　so　

far　as　to　build　hotels　for　the　accommodation　and　delight　of　the　

invaders；　abandoning　whole　quarters　to　their　guests。



There　was；　however；　a　point　at　which　complacency　stopped。　　The　

older　civilizations　had　formed　among　themselves　restricted　and　

exclusive　societies；　to　which　access　was　almost　impossible　to　

strangers。　　These　sanctuaries　tempted　the　immigrants；　who　offered　

their　fairest　virgins　and　much　treasure　for　the　privilege　of　

admission。　　The　indigenous　aristocrats；　who　were　mostly　poor；　

yielded　to　these　offers　and　a　few　Americans　succeeded　in　forcing　an　

entrance。　　But　the　old　nobility　soon　became　frightened　at　the　

number　and　vulgarity　of　the　invaders；　and　withdrew　severely　into　

their　shells；　refusing　to　accept　any　further　bribes　either　in　the　

form　of　females　or　finance。



From　this　moment　dates　the　humiliation　of　the　discoverers。　　All　

their　booty　and　plunder　seemed　worthless　in　comparison　with　the　

Elysian　delights　they　imagined　were　concealed　behind　the　closed　

doors　of　those　holy　places；　visions　of　which　tortured　the　women　

from　the　western　hemisphere　and　prevented　their　taking　any　pleasure　

in　other　victories。　　To　be　received　into　those　inner　circles　became　

their　chief　ambition。　　With　this　end　in　view　they　dressed　

themselves　in　expensive　costumes；　took　the　trouble　to　learn　the　

〃lingo〃　spoken　in　the　country；　went　to　the　extremity　of　copying　the　

ways　of　the　native　women　by　painting　their　faces；　and　in　one　or　two　

cases　imitated　the　laxity　of　their　morals。



In　spite　of　these　concessions；　our　women　were　not　received　with　

enthusiasm。　　On　the　contrary；　the　very　name　of　an　American　became　a　

byword　and　an　abomination　in　every　continental　city。　　This　

prejudice　against　us　abroad　is　hardly　to　be　wondered　at　on　

reflecting　what　we　have　done　to　acquire　it。　　The　agents　chosen　by　

our　government　to　treat　diplomatically　with　the　conquered　nations；　

owe　their　selection　to　political　motives　rather　than　to　their　tact　

or　fitness。　　In　the　large　majority　of　cases　men　are　sent　over　who　

know　little　either　of　the　habits　or　languages　prevailing　in　Europe。



The　worst　elements　always　follow　in　the　wake　of　discovery。　　Our　

settlements　abroad　gradually　became　the　abode　of　the　compromised；　

the　divorced；　the　socially　and　financially　bankrupt。



Within　the　last　decade　we　have　found　a　way　to　revenge　the　slights　

put　upon　us；　especially　those　offered　to　Americans　in　the　capital　

of　Gaul。　　Having　for　the　moment　no　playwrights　of　our　own；　the　men　

who　concoct　dramas；　comedies；　and　burlesques　for　our　stage　find；　

instead　of　wearying　themselves　in　trying　to　produce　original　

matter；　that　it　is　much　simpler　to　adapt　from　French　writers。　　This　

has　been　carried　to　such　a　length　that　entire　French　plays　are　now　

produced　in　New　York　signed　by　American　names。



The　great　French　playwrights　can　protect　themselves　by　taking　out　

American　copyright；　but　if　one　of　them　omits　this　formality；　the　

〃conquerors〃　immediately　seize　upon　his　work　and　translate　it；　

omitting　intentionally　all　mention　of　the　real　author　on　their　

programmes。　　This　season　a　play　was　produced　of　which　the　first　act　

was　taken　from　Guy　de　Maupassant；　the　second　and　third　〃adapted〃　

from　Sardou；　with　episodes　introduced　from　other　authors　to　

brighten　the　mixture。　　The　piece　thus　patched　together　is　signed　by　

a　well…known　Anglo…Saxon　name；　and　accepted　by　our　moral　public；　

although　the　original　of　the　first　act　was　stopped　by　the　Parisian　

police　as　too　immoral　for　that　gay　capital。



Of　what　use　would　it　be　to　〃discover〃　a　new　continent　unless　the　

explorers　were　to　reap　some　such　benefits？　　Let　us　take　every　

advantage　that　our　proud　position　gives　us；　plundering　the　foreign　

authors；　making　penal　settlements　of　their　capitals；　and　ignoring　

their　foolish　customs　and　prejudices　when　we　travel　among　them！　　In　

this　way　shall　we　effectually　impress　on　the　inferior　races　across　

the　Atlantic　the　greatness　of　the　American　nation。









CHAPTER　39　…　A　Race　of　Slaves





IT　is　all　very　well　for　us　to　have　invaded　Europe；　and　awakened　

that　somnolent　continent　to　the　lights　and　delights　of　American　

ways；　to　have　beautified　the　cities　of　the　old　world　with　graceful　

trolleys　and　illuminated　the　catacombs　at　Rome　with　electricity。　　

Every　true　American　must　thrill　with　satisfaction　at　these　

achievements；　and　the　knowledge　that　he　belongs　to　a　dominating　

race；　before　which　the　waning　civilization　of　Europe　must　fade　away　

and　disappear。



To　have　discovered　Europe　and　to　rule　as　conquerors　abroad　is　well；　

but　it　is　not　enough；　if　we　are　led　in　chains　at　home。　　It　is　

recorded　of　a　certain　ambitious　captain　whose　〃Commentaries〃　made　

our　school…days　a　burden；　that　〃he　preferred　to　be　the　first　in　a　

village　rather　than　second　at　Rome。〃　　Oddly　enough；　WE　are　

contented　to　be　slaves　in　our　villages　while　we　are　conquerors　in　

Rome。　　Can　it　be　that　the　struggles　of　our　ancestors　for　freedom　

were　fought　in　vain？　　Did　they　throw　off　the　yoke　of　kings；　cross　

the　Atlantic；　found　a　new　form　of　government　on　a　new　continent；　

break　with　traditions；　and　sign　a　declaration　of　independence；　only　

that　we　should　succumb；　a　century　later；　yielding　the　fruits　of　

their　hard…fought　battles　with　craven　supineness　into　the　hands　of　

corporations　and　municipalities；　humbly　bowing　necks　that　refuse　to　

bend　before　anointed　sovereigns；　to　the　will　of　steamboat　

subordinates；　the　insolence　of　be…diamonded　hotel…clerks；　and　the　

captious　conductor？



Last　week　my　train　from　Washington　arrived　in　Jersey　City　on　time。　　

We　scurried　（like　good　Americans）　to　the　ferry…boat；　hot　and　tired　

and　anxious　to　get　to　our　destination；　a　hope　deferred；　however；　

for　our　boat　was　kept　waiting　forty　long　minutes；　because；　

forsooth；　another　train　from　somewhere　in　the　South　was　behind　

time。　　Expostulations　were　in　vain。　　Being　only　the　paying　public；　

we　had　no　rights　that　those　autocrats；　the　officials；　were　bound　to　

respect。　　The　argument　that　if　they　knew　the　southern　train　to　be　

so　much　behind；　the　ferry…boat　would　have　plenty　of　time　to　take　us　

across　and　return；　was　of　no　avail；　so；　like　a　cargo　of　〃moo…cows〃　

（as　the　children　say）；　we　submitted　meekly。　　In　order　to　make　the　

time　pass　more　pleasantly　for　the　two　hundred　people　gathered　on　

the　boat；　a　dusky　potentate　judged　the　moment　appropriate　to　scrub　

the　cabin　floors。　　So；　aided　by　a　couple　of　subordinates；　he　

proceeded　to　deluge　the　entire　place　in　floods　of　water；　obliging　

us　to　sit　with　our　feet　tucked　up　under　us；　splashing　the　ladies'　

skirts　and　our　wraps　and　belongings。



Such　treatment　of　the　public　would　have　raised　a　riot　anywhere　but　

in　this　land　of　freedom。　　Do　you　suppose　any　one　murmured？　　Not　at　

all。　　The　well…trained　public　had　the　air　of　being　in　church。　　My　

neighbors　appeared　astonished　at　my　impatience；　and　informed　me　

that　they　were　often　detained　in　that　way；　as　the　company　was　short　

of　boats；　but　they　hoped　to　have　a　new　one　in　a　year　or　two。　　This　

detail　did　not　prevent　that　corporation　advertising　our　train　to　

arrive　in　New　York　at　three…thirteen；　instead　of　which　we　landed　at　

four　o'clock。　　If　a　similar　breach　of　contract　had　happened　in　

England；　a　dozen　letters　would　have　appeared　in　the　〃Times；〃　and　

the　grievance　been　well　aired。



Another　infliction　to　which　all　who　travel　in　America　are　subjected　

is　the　brushing　atrocity。　　Twenty　minutes　before　a　train　arrives　at　

its　destination；　the　despot　who　has　taken　no　notice　of　any　one　up　

to　this　moment；　except　to　snub　them；　becomes　suspiciously　attentive　

and　insists　on　brushing　everybody。　　The　dirt　one　traveller　has　been　

accumulating　is　sent　in　clouds　into　the　faces　of　his　neighbors。