the gambler-第24部分

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nor　in　the　Casino　nor　in　the　Park　was　he　to　be　found；　nor　did
he；　that　day；　lunch　at　his　hotel　as　usual。　However；　at　about
five　o'clock　I　caught　sight　of　him　walking　from　the　railway
station　to　the　Hotel　d'Angleterre。　He　seemed　to　be　in　a　great
hurry　and　much　preoccupied；　though　in　his　face　I　could　discern
no　actual　traces　of　worry　or　perturbation。　He　held　out　to　me　a
friendly　hand；　with　his　usual　ejaculation　of　〃　Ah！　〃　but　did　not
check　his　stride。　I　turned　and　walked　beside　him；　but　found；
somehow；　that　his　answers　forbade　any　putting　of　definite
questions。　Moreover；　I　felt　reluctant　to　speak　to　him　of　Polina；
nor；　for　his　part；　did　he　ask　me　any　questions　concerning　her；
although；　on　my　telling　him　of　the　Grandmother's　exploits；　he
listened　attentively　and　gravely；　and　then　shrugged　his
shoulders。

〃She　is　gambling　away　everything　that　she　has；〃　I　remarked。

〃Indeed？　She　arrived　at　the　Casino　even　before　I　had　taken　my
departure　by　train；　so　I　knew　she　had　been　playing。　If　I　should
have　time　I　will　go　to　the　Casino　to…night；　and　take　a　look　at
her。　The　thing　interests　me。〃

〃Where　have　you　been　today？〃　I　askedsurprised　at　myself　for
having；　as　yet；　omitted　to　put　to　him　that　question。

〃To　Frankfort。〃

〃On　business？〃

〃On　business。〃

What　more　was　there　to　be　asked　after　that？　I　accompanied　him
until；　as　we　drew　level　with　the　Hotel　des　Quatre　Saisons；　he
suddenly　nodded　to　me　and　disappeared。　For　myself；　I　returned
home；　and　came　to　the　conclusion　that；　even　had　I　met　him　at　two
o'clock　in　the　afternoon；　I　should　have　learnt　no　more　from　him
than　I　had　done　at　five　o'clock；　for　the　reason　that　I　had　no
definite　question　to　ask。　It　was　bound　to　have　been　so。　For　me
to　formulate　the　query　which　I　really　wished　to　put　was　a　simple
impossibility。

Polina　spent　the　whole　of　that　day　either　in　walking　about　the
park　with　the　nurse　and　children　or　in　sitting　in　her　own　room。
For　a　long　while　past　she　had　avoided　the　General　and　had
scarcely　had　a　word　to　say　to　him　（scarcely　a　word；　I　mean；　on
any　SERIOUS　topic）。　Yes；　that　I　had　noticed。　Still；　even　though
I　was　aware　of　the　position　in　which　the　General　was　placed；　it
had　never　occurred　to　me　that　he　would　have　any　reason　to　avoid
HER；　or　to　trouble　her　with　family　explanations。　Indeed；　when　I
was　returning　to　the　hotel　after　my　conversation　with　Astley；
and　chanced　to　meet　Polina　and　the　children；　I　could　see　that
her　face　was　as　calm　as　though　the　family　disturbances　had　never
touched　her。　To　my　salute　she　responded　with　a　slight　bow；　and　I
retired　to　my　room　in　a　very　bad　humour。

Of　course；　since　the　affair　with　the　Burmergelms　I　had　exchanged
not　a　word　with　Polina；　nor　had　with　her　any　kind　of
intercourse。　Yet　I　had　been　at　my　wits'　end；　for；　as　time　went
on；　there　was　arising　in　me　an　ever…seething　dissatisfaction。
Even　if　she　did　not　love　me　she　ought　not　to　have　trampled　upon
my　feelings；　nor　to　have　accepted　my　confessions　with　such
contempt；　seeing　that　she　must　have　been　aware　that　I　loved　her
（of　her　own　accord　she　had　allowed　me　to　tell　her　as　much）。　Of
course　the　situation　between　us　had　arisen　in　a　curious　manner。
About　two　months　ago；　I　had　noticed　that　she　had　a　desire　to　make
me　her　friend；　her　confidantthat　she　was　making　trial　of　me　for
the　purpose；　but；　for　some　reason　or　another；　the　desired　result
had　never　come　about；　and　we　had　fallen　into　the　present　strange
relations；　which　had　led　me　to　address　her　as　I　had　done。　At　the
same　time；　if　my　love　was　distasteful　to　her；　why　had　she　not
FORBIDDEN　me　to　speak　of　it　to　her？

But　she　had　not　so　forbidden　me。　On　the　contrary；　there　had　been
occasions　when　she　had　even　INVITED　me　to　speak。　Of　course；　this
might　have　been　done　out　of　sheer　wantonness；　for　I　well　knewI
had　remarked　it　only　too　oftenthat；　after　listening　to　what　I
had　to　say；　and　angering　me　almost　beyond　endurance；　she　loved
suddenly　to　torture　me　with　some　fresh　outburst　of　contempt　and
aloofness！　Yet　she　must　have　known　that　I　could　not　live　without
her。　Three　days　had　elapsed　since　the　affair　with　the　Baron；　and
I　could　bear　the　severance　no　longer。　When；　that　afternoon；　I
met　her　near　the　Casino；　my　heart　almost　made　me　faint；　it　beat
so　violently。　She　too　could　not　live　without　me；　for　had　she　not
said　that　she　had　NEED　of　me？　Or　had　that　too　been　spoken　in
jest？

That　she　had　a　secret　of　some　kind　there　could　be　no　doubt。　What
she　had　said　to　the　Grandmother　had　stabbed　me　to　the　heart。　On
a　thousand　occasions　I　had　challenged　her　to　be　open　with　me；
nor　could　she　have　been　ignorant　that　I　was　ready　to　give　my
very　life　for　her。　Yet　always　she　had　kept　me　at　a　distance　with
that　contemptuous　air　of　hers；　or　else　she　had　demanded　of　me；
in　lieu　of　the　life　which　I　offered　to　lay　at　her　feet；　such
escapades　as　I　had　perpetrated　with　the　Baron。　Ah；　was　it　not
torture　to　me；　all　this？　For　could　it　be　that　her　whole　world
was　bound　up　with　the　Frenchman？　What；　too；　about　Mr。　Astley？
The　affair　was　inexplicable　throughout。　My　God；　what　distress　it
caused　me！

Arrived　home；　I；　in　a　fit　of　frenzy；　indited　the　following：

〃Polina　Alexandrovna；　I　can　see　that　there　is　approaching　us　an
exposure　which　will　involve　you　too。　For　the　last　time　I　ask　of
youhave　you；　or　have　you　not；　any　need　of　my　life？　If　you　have；
then　make　such　dispositions　as　you　wish；　and　I　shall　always　be
discoverable　in　my　room　if　required。　If　you　have　need　of　my
life；　write　or　send　for　me。〃

I　sealed　the　letter；　and　dispatched　it　by　the　hand　of　a　corridor
lacquey；　with　orders　to　hand　it　to　the　addressee　in　person。
Though　I　expected　no　answer；　scarcely　three　minutes　had　elapsed
before　the　lacquey　returned　with　〃the　compliments　of　a　certain
person。〃

Next；　about　seven　o'clock；　I　was　sent　for　by　the　General。　I
found　him　in　his　study；　apparently　preparing　to　go　out　again；
for　his　hat　and　stick　were　lying　on　the　sofa。　When　I　entered　he
was　standing　in　the　middle　of　the　roomhis　feet　wide　apart；　and
his　head　bent　down。　Also；　he　appeared　to　be　talking　to　himself。
But　as　soon　as　ever　he　saw　me　at　the　door　he　came　towards　me　in
such　a　curious　manner　that　involuntarily　I　retreated　a　step；　and
was　for　leaving　the　room；　whereupon　he　seized　me　by　both　hands；
and；　drawing　me　towards　the　sofa；　and　seating　himself　thereon；
he　forced　me　to　sit　down　on　a　chair　opposite　him。　Then；　without
letting　go　of　my　hands；　he　exclaimed　with　quivering　lips　and　a
sparkle　of　tears　on　his　eyelashes：

〃Oh；　Alexis　Ivanovitch！　Save　me；　save　me！　Have　some　mercy　upon
me！〃

For　a　long　time　I　could　not　make　out　what　he　meant；　although　he
kept　talking　and　talking；　and　constantly　repeating　to　himself；　
〃Have　mercy；　mercy！〃　At　length；　however；　I　divined　that　he　was
expecting　me　to　give　him　something　in　the　nature　of　adviceor；
rather；　that；　deserted　by　every　one；　and　overwhelmed　with　grief
and　apprehension；　he　had　bethought　himself　of　my　existence；　and
sent　for　me　to　relieve　his　feelings　by　talking　and　talking　and
talking。

In　fact；　he　was　in　such　a　confused　and　despondent　state　of　mind
that；　clasping　his　hands　together；　he　actually　went　down　upon
his　knees　and　begged　me　to　go　to　Mlle。　Blanche；　and　beseech　and
advise　her　to　return　to　him；　and　to　accept　him　in　marriage。

〃But；　General；〃　I　exclaimed；　〃possibly　Mlle。　Blanche　has
scarcely　even　remarked　my　existence？　What　could　I　do　with　her？〃

It　was　in　vain　that　I　protested；　for　he　could　understand　nothing
that　was　said　to　him；　Next　he　started　talking　about　the
Grandmother；　but　always　in　a　disconnected　sort　of　fashionhis
one　thought　being　to　send　for　the　police。

〃In　Russia；〃　said　he；　suddenly　boiling　over　with　indignation；　
〃or　in　any　well…ordered　State　where　there　exists　a　government；
old　women　like　my　mother　are　placed　under　proper　guardianship。
Yes；　my　good　sir；〃　he　went　on；　relapsing　into　a　scolding　tone　as
he　leapt　to　his　feet　and　started　to　pace　the　room；　〃do　you　not
know　this　〃　（he　seemed　to　be　addressing　some　imaginary　auditor
in　the　corner）　〃do　you　not　know　this；　that　in　Russia　old　women
like　her　are　subjected　to　restraint；　the　devil　take　them？〃
Again　he　threw　himself　down　upon　the　sofa。

A　minute　later；　though　sobbing　and　almost　breathless；　he　managed
to　gasp　out　that　Mlle。　Blanche　had　refused　to　marry　him；　for　the
reason　that　the　Grandmother　had　turned　up　in　place　of　a
telegram；　and　it　was　therefore　clear　that　he　had　no　inheritance
to　look　for。　Evidently；　he　supposed　that　I　had　hitherto　been　in
entire　ignorance　of　all　this。　Again；　when　I　referred　to　De
Griers；　the　General　made　a　gesture　of　despair。　〃He　has　gone
away；〃　he　said；　〃and　everything　which　I　possess　is　mortgaged　to
him。　I　stand　stripped　to　my　skin。　Even　of　the　money　which　you
brought　me　from　Paris；　I　know　not　if　seven　hundred　francs　be
left。　Of　course　that　sum　will　do　to　go　on　with；　but；　as　regards
the　future；　I　know　nothing；　I　know　nothing。〃

〃Then　how　will　you　pay　your　hotel　bill？〃　I　cried　in
consternation。　〃And　what　shall　you　do　afterwards？〃

He　looked　at　me　vaguely；　but　it　was　clear　that　he　had　not
understoodperhaps　had　not　even　heardmy　questions。　Then　I　tried
to　get　him　to　speak　of　Polina　and　the　children；　but　he　only
returned　brief　answers　of　〃　Yes；　yes；〃　and　again　started　to
maunder　about　the　Prince；　and　the　likelihood　of　the　latter
marrying　Mlle。　Blanche。　〃What　on　earth　am　I　to　do？〃　he
concluded。　〃What　on　earth　am　I　to　do？　Is　this　not　ingratitude？
Is　it　not　sheer　ingratitude？〃　And　he　burst　into　tears。

Nothing　could　be　done　with　such　a　man。　Yet　to　leave　him　alone
was　dangerous；　for　something　might　happen　to　him。　I　withdrew
from　his　rooms　for　a　little　while；　but　warned　the　nursemaid　to
keep　an　eye　upon　him；　as　well　as　exchanged　a　word　with　the
corridor　lacquey　（a　very　talkative　fellow）；　who　likewise
promised　to　remain　on　the　look…out。

Hardly　had　I　left　the　General；　when　Potapitch　approached　me　with
a　summons　from　the　Grandmother。　It　was　now　eight　o'clock；　and
she　had　returned　from　the　Casino　after　finally　losing　all　that
she　possessed。　I　found　her　sitting　in　her　chairmuch　distressed
and　evidently　fatigued。　Presently　Martha　brought　her　up　a　cup　of
tea　and　forced　her　to　drink　it；　yet；　even　then　I　could　detect　in
the　old　l