the gambler-第27部分

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the　red　after　a　dozen　rounds；　and　practically　no　one　could　now
be　found　to　stake　upon　it。　Yet　upon　the　black　alsothe
antithesis　of　the　redno　experienced　gambler　would　stake
anything；　for　the　reason　that　every　practised　player　knows　the
meaning　of　〃capricious　fortune。〃　That　is　to　say；　after　the
sixteenth　（or　so）　success　of　the　red；　one　would　think　that　the
seventeenth　coup　would　inevitably　fall　upon　the　black；　wherefore；
novices　would　be　apt　to　back　the　latter　in　the　seventeenth
round；　and　even　to　double　or　treble　their　stakes　upon　itonly；
in　the　end；　to　lose。

Yet　some　whim　or　other　led　me；　on　remarking　that　the　red　had
come　up　consecutively　for　seven　times；　to　attach　myself　to　that
colour。　Probably　this　was　mostly　due　to　self…conceit；　for　I
wanted　to　astonish　the　bystanders　with　the　riskiness　of　my　play。
Also；　I　remember　thatoh；　strange　sensation！I　suddenly；　and
without　any　challenge　from　my　own　presumption；　became　obsessed
with　a　DESIRE　to　take　risks。　If　the　spirit　has　passed　through　a
great　many　sensations；　possibly　it　can　no　longer　be　sated　with
them；　but　grows　more　excited；　and　demands　more　sensations；　and
stronger　and　stronger　ones；　until　at　length　it　falls　exhausted。
Certainly；　if　the　rules　of　the　game　had　permitted　even　of　my
staking　fifty　thousand　florins　at　a　time；　I　should　have　staked
them。　All　of　a　sudden　I　heard　exclamations　arising　that　the
whole　thing　was　a　marvel；　since　the　red　was　turning　up　for　the
fourteenth　time！

〃Monsieur　a　gagne　cent　mille　florins；〃　a　voice　exclaimed　beside
me。

I　awoke　to　my　senses。　What？　I　had　won　a　hundred　thousand
florins？　If　so；　what　more　did　I　need　to　win？　I　grasped　the
banknotes；　stuffed　them　into　my　pockets；　raked　in　the　gold　
without　counting　it；　and　started　to　leave　the　Casino。　As　I　
passed　through　the　salons　people　smiled　to　see　my
bulging　pockets　and　unsteady　gait；　for　the　weight　which　I　was
carrying　must　have　amounted　to　half　a　pood！　Several　hands　I　saw
stretched　out　in　my　direction；　and　as　I　passed　I　filled　them
with　all　the　money　that　I　could　grasp　in　my　own。　At　length　two
Jews　stopped　me　near　the　exit。

〃You　are　a　bold　young　fellow；〃　one　said；　〃but　mind　you　depart
early　tomorrowas　early　as　you　canfor　if　you　do　not　you　will
lose　everything　that　you　have　won。〃

But　I　did　not　heed　them。　The　Avenue　was　so　dark　that　it　was
barely　possible　to　distinguish　one's　hand　before　one's　face；
while　the　distance　to　the　hotel　was　half　a　verst　or　so；　but　I
feared　neither　pickpockets　nor　highwaymen。　Indeed；　never　since
my　boyhood　have　I　done　that。　Also；　I　cannot　remember　what　I
thought　about　on　the　way。　I　only　felt　a　sort　of　fearful　pleasure
the　pleasure　of　success；　of　conquest；　of　power　（how　can　I　best
express　it？）。　Likewise；　before　me　there　flitted　the　image　of
Polina；　and　I　kept　remembering；　and　reminding　myself；　that　it
was　to　HER　I　was　going；　that　it　was　in　HER　presence　I　should
soon　be　standing；　that　it　was　SHE　to　whom　I　should　soon　be　able
to　relate　and　show　everything。　Scarcely　once　did　I　recall　what
she　had　lately　said　to　me；　or　the　reason　why　I　had　left　her；　or
all　those　varied　sensations　which　I　had　been　experiencing　a　bare
hour　and　a　half　ago。　No；　those　sensations　seemed　to　be　things　of
the　past；　to　be　things　which　had　righted　themselves　and　grown
old；　to　be　things　concerning　which　we　needed　to　trouble
ourselves　no　longer；　since；　for　us；　life　was　about　to　begin
anew。　Yet　I　had　just　reached　the　end　of　the　Avenue　when　there
DID　come　upon　me　a　fear　of　being　robbed　or　murdered。　With　each
step　the　fear　increased　until；　in　my　terror；　I　almost　started　to
run。　Suddenly；　as　I　issued　from　the　Avenue；　there　burst　upon　me
the　lights　of　the　hotel；　sparkling　with　a　myriad　lamps！　Yes；
thanks　be　to　God；　I　had　reached　home！

Running　up　to　my　room；　I　flung　open　the　door　of　it。　　Polina　was
still　on　the　sofa；　with　a　lighted　candle　in　front　of　her；　and
her　hands　clasped。　As　I　entered　she　stared　at　me　in　astonishment
（for；　at　the　moment；　I　must　have　presented　a　strange　spectacle）。
All　I　did；　however；　was　to　halt　before　her；　and　fling　upon　the
table　my　burden　of　wealth。

XV

I　remember；　too；　how；　without　moving　from　her　place；　or　changing
her　attitude；　she　gazed　into　my　face。

〃I　have　won　two　hundred　thousand　francs！〃　cried　I　as　I　pulled
out　my　last　sheaf　of　bank…notes。　The　pile　of　paper　currency
occupied　the　whole　table。　I　could　not　withdraw　my　eyes　from　it。
Consequently；　for　a　moment　or　two　Polina　escaped　my　mind。　Then　I
set　myself　to　arrange　the　pile　in　order；　and　to　sort　the　notes；
and　to　mass　the　gold　in　a　separate　heap。　That　done；　I　left
everything　where　it　lay；　and　proceeded　to　pace　the　room　with
rapid　strides　as　I　lost　myself　in　thought。　Then　I　darted　to　the
table　once　more；　and　began　to　recount　the　money；　until　all　of　a
sudden；　as　though　I　had　remembered　something；　I　rushed　to　the
door；　and　closed　and　double…locked　it。　Finally　I　came　to　a
meditative　halt　before　my　little　trunk。

〃Shall　I　put　the　money　there　until　tomorrow？〃　I　asked；
turning　sharply　round　to　Polina　as　the　recollection　of　her
returned　to　me。

She　was　still　in　her　old　placestill　making　not　a　sound。　Yet　her
eyes　had　followed　every　one　of　my　movements。　Somehow　in　her　face
there　was　a　strange　expressionan　expression　which　I　did　not
like。　I　think　that　I　shall　not　be　wrong　if　I　say　that　it
indicated　sheer　hatred。

Impulsively　I　approached　her。

〃Polina；〃　I　said；　〃here　are　twenty…five　thousand　florinsfifty
thousand　francs；　or　more。　Take　them；　and　tomorrow　throw　them
in　De　Griers'　face。〃

She　returned　no　answer。

〃Or；　if　you　should　prefer；〃　I　continued；　〃let　me　take
them　to　him　myself　tomorrowyes；　early　tomorrow　morning。　Shall
I？〃

Then　all　at　once　she　burst　out　laughing；　and　laughed　for　a　long
while。　With　astonishment　and　a　feeling　of　offence　I　gazed　at
her。　Her　laughter　was　too　like　the　derisive　merriment　which　she
had　so　often　indulged　in　of　latemerriment　which　had　broken
forth　always　at　the　time　of　my　most　passionate　explanations。　At
length　she　ceased；　and　frowned　at　me　from　under　her　eyebrows。

〃I　am　NOT　going　to　take　your　money；〃　she　said　contemptuously。

〃Why　not？〃　I　cried。　〃Why　not；　Polina？〃

〃Because　I　am　not　in　the　habit　of　receiving　money　for　nothing。〃

〃But　I　am　offering　it　to　you　as　a　FRIEND　in　the　same　way　I
would　offer　you　my　very　life。〃

Upon　this　she　threw　me　a　long；　questioning　glance；　as　though　she
were　seeking　to　probe　me　to　the　depths。

〃You　are　giving　too　much　for　me；〃　she　remarked　with　a　smile。　
〃The　beloved　of　De　Griers　is　not　worth　fifty　thousand　francs。〃

〃Oh　Polina；　how　can　you　speak　so？〃　I　exclaimed　reproachfully。
〃Am　I　De　Griers？〃

〃You？〃　she　cried　with　her　eyes　suddenly　flashing。　〃Why；　I
HATE　you！　Yes；　yes；　I　HATE　you！　I　love　you　no　more　than　I　do　De
Griers。〃

Then　she　buried　her　face　in　her　hands；　and　relapsed　into
hysterics。　I　darted　to　her　side。　Somehow　I　had　an　intuition　of
something　having　happened　to　her　which　had　nothing　to　do　with
myself。　She　was　like　a　person　temporarily　insane。

〃Buy　me；　would　you；　would　you？　Would　you　buy　me　for　fifty
thousand　francs　as　De　Griers　did？〃　she　gasped　between　her
convulsive　sobs。

I　clasped　her　in　my　arms；　kissed　her　hands　and　feet；　and　fell
upon　my　knees　before　her。

Presently　the　hysterical　fit　passed　away；　and；　laying　her　hands
upon　my　shoulders；　she　gazed　for　a　while　into　my　face；　as　though
trying　to　read　itsomething　I　said　to　her；　but　it　was　clear
that　she　did　not　hear　it。　Her　face　looked　so　dark　and　despondent
that　I　began　to　fear　for　her　reason。　At　length　she　drew　me　towards　
herselfa　trustful　smile　playing　over　her　features；　and　then；　
as　suddenly；　she　pushed　me　away　again　as　she　eyed　me　dimly。

Finally　she　threw　herself　upon　me　in　an　embrace。

〃You　love　me？〃　she　said。　〃DO　you？you　who　were　willing　even　to
quarrel　with　the　Baron　at　my　bidding？〃

Then　she　laughedlaughed　as　though　something　dear；　but
laughable；　had　recurred　to　her　memory。　Yes；　she　laughed　and　wept
at　the　same　time。　What　was　I　to　do？　I　was　like　a　man　in　a　fever。
I　remember　that　she　began　to　say　something　to　methough　WHAT　I　do
not　know；　since　she　spoke　with　a　feverish　lisp；　as　though　she
were　trying　to　tell　me　something　very　quickly。　At　intervals；
too；　she　would　break　off　into　the　smile　which　I　was　beginning　to
dread。　〃No；　no！〃　she　kept　repeating。　〃YOU　are　my　dear　one；
YOU　are　the　man　I　trust。〃　Again　she　laid　her　hands　upon　my
shoulders；　and　again　she　gazed　at　me　as　she　reiterated：　〃You　love
me；　you　love　me？　Will　you　ALWAYS　love　me？〃　I　could　not　take　my
eyes　off　her。　Never　before　had　I　seen　her　in　this　mood　of
humility　and　affection。　True；　the　mood　was　the　outcome　of
hysteria；　but！　All　of　a　sudden　she　noticed　my　ardent　gaze；　and
smiled　slightly。　The　next　moment；　for　no　apparent　reason；　she
began　to　talk　of　Astley。

She　continued　talking　and　talking　about　him；　but　I　could　not
make　out　all　she　saidmore　particularly　when　she　was
endeavouring　to　tell　me　of　something　or　other　which　had　happened
recently。　On　the　whole；　she　appeared　to　be　laughing　at　Astley；
for　she　kept　repeating　that　he　was　waiting　for　her；　and　did　I
know　whether；　even　at　that　moment；　he　was　not　standing　beneath
the　window？　〃Yes；　yes；　he　is　there；〃　she　said。　〃Open　the
window；　and　see　if　he　is　not。〃　She　pushed　me　in　that　direction；
yet；　no　sooner　did　I　make　a　movement　to　obey　her　behest　than　she
burst　into　laughter；　and　I　remained　beside　her；　and　she
embraced　me。

〃Shall　we　go　away　tomorrow？〃　presently　she　asked；　as　though
some　disturbing　thought　had　recurred　to　her　recollection。　〃How
would　it　be　if　we　were　to　try　and　overtake　Grandmamma？　I　think
we　should　do　so　at　Berlin。　And　what　think　you　she　would　have　to
say　to　us　when　we　caught　her　up；　and　her　eyes　first　lit　upon　us？
What；　too；　about　Mr。　Astley？　HE　would　not　leap　from　the
Shlangenberg　for　my　sake！　No！　Of　that　I　am　very　sure！〃and　she
laughed。　〃Do　you　know　where　he　is　going　next　year？　He　says　he
intends　to　go　to　the　North　Pole　for　scientific　investigations；
and　has　invited　me　to　go　with　him！　Ha；　ha；　ha！　He　also　says　that
we　Russians　know　nothing；　can　do　nothing；　without　European　help。
But　he　is　a　good　fellow　all　the　same。　For　instance；　he　does　not
blame　the　General　in　the　matter；　but　declar