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ed　bosoms；　shoes　made　for　and　declined　by　the　very　infantry：　coats　short　in　the　waist　and　long　in　the　sleeves；　coalscuttle　bonnets；　and　grand…maternal　caps。　So　he　made　his　toilet　with　care；　and　put　his　best　hat　on　to　hide　his　shaven　crown。　He　then　kept　his　door　ajar；　and　waited　for　a　chance　of　speaking　to　the　justices。　One　soon　came：　a　portly　old　gentleman；　with　a　rubicund　face　and　honest　eye；　walked　slowly　along　the　corridor；　looking　as　wise　as　he　could；　cringed　on　by　Cooper　and　Dr。　Bailey；　the　latter　had　arrived　post　haste；　and　Baker　had　been　sent　for。　Alfred　came　out；　touched　his　hat　respectfully；　and　begged　a　private　interview　with　the　magistrate。　The　old　gentleman　bowed　politely；　for　Alfred's　dress；　address；　and　countenance；　left　no　suspicion　of　insanity　possible　in　an　unprejudiced　mind。

But　the　doctor　whispered　in　his　ear；　〃Take　care；　sir。　Dangerous！〃

Now　this　is　one　of　the　most　effective　of　the　formulae　in　a　private　asylum。　How　can　an　inexperienced　stranger　know　for　certain　that　such　a　statement　is　a　falsehood？　And　even　the　just　do　not　love　justice_to　others_quite　so　well　as　they　love　their　own　skins。　So　Squire　Tollett　very　naturally　declined　a　private　interview　with　Alfred；　and　even　drew　back　a　step；　and　felt　uneasy　at　being　so　near　him。　Alfred　implored　him　not　to　be　imposed　upon。　〃An　honest　man　does　not　whisper；〃　said　he。　〃Do　not　let　him　poison　your　mind　against　me；　on　my　honour；　I　am　as　sane　as　you　are；　and　he　knows　it。　Pray；　pray　use　your　own　eyes　and　ears；　sir；　and　give　yourself　a　chance　of　discovering　the　truth　in　this　stronghold　of　lies。〃

〃Don't　excite　yourself；　Mr。　Hardie；〃　put　in　the　doctor　parentally。　（Formula。）

〃Don't　you　interrupt　me；　doctor；　I　am　as　calm　as　you　are。　Calmer；　for；　see；　you　are　pale　at　this　moment；　that　is　with　fear　that　your　wickedness　in　detaining　a　sane　man　here　is　going　to　be　exposed。　Oh；　sir；〃　said　he；　turning　to　the　justice；　〃fear　no　violence　from　me；　not　even　angry　words；　my　misery　is　too　deep　for　irritation；　or　excitement。　I　am　an　Oxford　man；　sir；　a　prize　man；　an　Ireland　scholar。　But；　unfortunately　for　me；　my　mother　left　me　ten　thousand　pounds；　and　a　heart。　I　love　a　lady　whose　name　I　will　not　pollute　by　mentioning　it　in　this　den　of　thieves。　My　father　is　the　well…known　banker；　bankrupt；　and　cheat；　of　Barkington。　He　has　wasted　his　own　money；　and　now　covets　his　neighbour's　and　his　son's。　He　had　me　entrapped　here　on　my　wedding…day；　to　get　hold　of　my　money；　and　rob　me　of　her　I　love。　I　appeal　to　you；　sir；　to　discharge　me；　or；　if　you　have　not　so　much　confidence　in　your　own　judgment　as　to　do　that；　then　I　demand　a　commission　of　lunacy；　and　a　public　inquiry。〃

Dr。　Bailey　said；　〃That　would　be　a　most　undesirable　exposure；　both　to　yourself　and　your　friends。〃　（Formula。）

〃It　is　only　the　guilty　who　fear　the　light；　sir；〃　was　the　prompt　reply。

Mr。　Tollett　said　he　thought　the　patient　had　a　legal　right　to　a　commission　of　lunacy　if　there　was　property；　and　he　took　note　of　the　application。　He　then　asked　Alfred　if　he　had　any　complaint　to　make　of　the　food；　the　beds；　or　the　attendants。

〃Sir；〃　said　Alfred；　〃I　leave　those　complaints　to　the　insane　ones：　with　me　the　gigantic　wrong　drives　out　the　petty　worries。　I　cannot　feel　my　stings　for　my　deep　wound。〃

〃Oh；　then；　you　admit　you　are　not　treated　_unkindly_　here？〃

I　admit　nothing　of　the　kind；　sir。　I　merely　decline　to　encumber　your　memory　with　petty　injuries；　when　you　are　good　enough　to　inquire　into　a　monstrous　one。〃

〃Now　that　is　very　sensible　and　considerate；〃　said　Mr。　Tollett。　〃　I　will　see　you；　sir；　again　before　we　leave。〃

With　this　promise　Alfred　was　obliged　to　be　content。　He　retired　respectfully；　and　the　justice　said；　〃He　seems　as　sane　as　I　am。〃　The　doctor　smiled。　The　justice　observed　it；　and　not　aware　that　this　smile　was　a　formula；　as　much　so　as　a　prizefighter's　or　a　ballet…dancer's；　began　to　doubt　a　little：　He　reflected　a　moment；　then　asked　who　had　signed　the　certificates。

〃Dr。　Wycherley　for　one。〃

〃Dr。　Wycherley？　that　is　a　great　authority。〃

〃One　of　the　greatest　in　the　country；　sir。〃

〃Oh；　then　one　would　think　he　must　be　more　or　less　deranged。〃

〃Dangerously　so　at　times。　But　in　his　lucid　intervals　you　never　saw　a　more　quiet　gentlemanly　creature。〃　（Formula。）

〃How　sad！〃

〃Very。　He　is　my　most　interesting　patient　（formula）；　though　terribly　violent　at　times。　Would　you　like　to　see　the　medical　journal　about　him？〃

〃Yes；　by…and…bye。〃

The　inspection　then　continued：　the　inspector　admired　the　clean　sheets　that　covered　the　beds；　all　of　them　dirty；　some　filthy：　and　asked　the　more　reasonable　patients　to　speak　freely　and　say　if　they　had　any　complaint　to　make。　This　question　being；　with　the　usual　sagacity　of　public　inspectors；　put　in　the　presence　of　Cooper　and　the　doctor；　who　stuck　to　Tollett　like　wax；　the　mad　people　all　declared　they　were　very　kindly　treated。　The　reason　they　were　so　unanimous　was　this：　they　knew　by　experience　that；　if　they　told　the　truth；　the　justices　could　not　at　once　remedy　their　discomforts；　whereas　the　keepers；　the　very　moment　the　justices　left　the　house；　would　knock　them　down；　beat　them；　shake　them；　strait…jacket　them；　and　starve　them：　and　the　doctor；　less　merciful；　would　doctor　them。　So　they　shook　in　their　shoes；　and　vowed　they　were　very　comfortable　in　Silverton　Grove。

Thus；　in　later　days；　certain　Commissioners　of　Lunacy　inspecting　Accomb　House；　extracted　nothing　from　Mrs。　Turner；　but　that　she　was　happy　and　comfortable　under　the　benignant　sway　of　Metcalf　the　mildthere　present。　It　was　only　by　a　miracle　the　public　learned　the　truth；　and　miracles　are　rare。

Meantime；　Alfred　had　a　misgiving。　The　plausible　doctor　had　now　Squire　Tollett's　ear；　and　Tollett　was　old；　and　something　about　him　reminded　the　Oxonian　of　a　trait　his　friend　Horace　had　detected　in　old　age：

　　　　〃Vel　quod　res　omnes　timide　gelide　que　ministrat。　　　　　　Dilator；　spe　longus；　iners；〃　&c。

He　knew　there　was　another　justice　in　the　house；　but　he　knew　also　he　should　not　be　allowed　to　get　speech　with　him；　if　by　cunning　or　force　it　could　be　prevented。　He　kept　his　door　ajar。　Presently　Nurse　Hannah　came　bustling　along　with　an　apronful　of　things；　and　let　herself　into　a　vacant　room　hard　by。　This　Hannah　was　a　young　woman　with　a　pretty　and　rather　babyish　face；　diversified　by　a　thick　biceps　muscle　in　her　arm　that　a　blacksmith　need　not　have　blushed　for。　And　I　suspect　it　was　this　masculine　charm；　and　not　her　feminine　features；　that　had　won　her　the　confidence　of　Baker　and　Co。；　and　the　respect　of　his　female　patients：　big　or　little；　excited　or　not　excited；　there　was　not　one　of　them　this　bicipital　baby…face　could　not　pin　by　the　wrists；　and　twist　her　helpless　into　a　strong…room；　or　handcuff　her　unaided　in　a　moment；　and　she　did　it；　too；　on　slight　provocation。　Nurse　Hannah　seldom　came　into　Alfred's　part　of　the　house；　but　when　she　did　meet　him；　she　generally　gave　him　a　kind　look　in　passing；　and　he　had　resolved　to　speak　to　her；　and　try　if　he　could　touch　her　conscience；　or　move　her　pity。　He　saw　what　she　was　at；　but　was　too　politic　to　detect　her　openly　and　irritate　her。　He　drew　back　a　step；　and　said　softly；　〃Nurse　Hannah！　Are　you　there？〃

〃Yes；　I　am　here；〃　said　she　sharply；　and　came　out　of　the　room　hastily；　and　shut　it。　〃What　do　you　want；　sir？〃

Alfred　clasped　his　hands　together。　〃If　you　are　a　woman；　have　pity　on　me。〃

She　was　taken　by　surprise。　〃What　can　I　do？〃　said　she　in　some　agitation。　〃I　am　only　a　servant。〃

〃At　least　tell　me　where　I　can　find　the　Visiting　Justice；　before　the　keepers　stop　me。〃

〃Hush！　Speak　lower；〃　said　Hannah。　〃You　_have_　complained　to　one；　haven't　you？〃

〃Yes；　but　he　seems　a　feeble　old　fogy。　Where　is　the　other？　Oh；　pray　tell　me？〃

〃I　mustn't：　I　mustn't　In　the　noisy　ward。　There；　run。〃

And　run　he　did。

Alfred　was　lucky　enough　to　get　safe　into　the　noisy　ward　without　being　intercepted。　And　then　he　encountered　a　sunburnt　gentleman；　under　thirty；　in　a　riding…coat；　with　a　hunting…whip　in　his　hand：　it　was　Mr。　Vane；　a　Tory　squire　and　large　landholder　in　the　county。

Now；　as　Alfred　entered　at　one　door；　Baker　himself　came　in　at　the　other；　and　they　nearly　met　at　Vane。　But　Alfred　saluted　him　first；　and　begged　respectfully　for　an　interview。

〃Certainly；　sir；〃　said　Mr。　Vane。

〃Take　care；　sir；　he　is　dangerous；〃　whispered　Baker。　Instantly　Mr。　Vane's　countenance　changed。　But　this　time　Alfred　overheard　the　formula；　and　said　quietly：　〃Don't　believe　him；　sir。　I　am　not　dangerous；　I　am　as　sane　as　any　man　in　England。　Pray　examine　me；　and　judge　for　yourself。〃

〃Ah；　that　is　his　delusion；〃　said　Baker。　〃Come；　Mr。　Hardie；　I　allow　you　great　liberties；　but　you　abuse　them。　You　really　must　not　monopolise　his　Worship　with　your　fancies。　Consider；　sir；　you　are　not　the　only　patient　he　has　to　examine。〃

Alfred's　heart　sank：　he　turned　a　look　of　silent　agony　on　Mr。　Vane。

Mr。　Vane；　either　touched　by　that　look；　or　irritated　by　Baker's　pragmatical　interference；　or　perhaps　both；　looked　that　person　coolly　in　the　face；　and　said　sternly：　〃Be　silent；　sir；　and　let　_the　gentleman_　speak　to　me。〃


CHAPTER　XXXIII

ALFRED　thus　encouraged　told　his　story　with　forced　calmness；　and　without　a　word　too　much。　Indeed；　so　clear　and　telling　was　the　narrative；　and　the　logic　so　close；　that　incoherent　patients　one　or　two　stole　up　and　listened　with　wonder　and　a　certain　dreamy　complacency；　the　bulk；　however；　held　aloof　apathetic：　inextricably　wrapped　in　fictitious　Autobiography。

His　story　told；　Alfred　offered　the　Dodds　in　evidence　that　the　fourteen　thousand　pounds　was　no　illusion；　and　referred　to　his　sister　and　several　friends　as　witnesses　to　his　sanity；　and　said　the　letters　he　wrote　were　all　stopped　in　the　asylum：　and　why？　That　no　honest　man　or　woman　might　know　where　he　was。

He　ended　by　convincing　Mr。　Vane　he　was　a　sane　and　injured　man；　and　his　father　a　dark　designing　person。

Mr。　Vane　asked　him　whether　he　had　any　other　revelations　to　make。　Alfred　replied；　〃Not　on　my　own　account；　but　for　the　sake　of　those　afflicted　persons　who　are　here　for　life。　Well；　the　beds　want　repaving；　the　vermin　thinning；　the　instruments　of　torture　want　abolishing；　instead　of　hiding　for　an　hour　or　two　when　you　happen　to　come：　what　do　the　patients　gain　by　that？　The　madmen　dare　not　complain　to　you；　sir；　because　the　last　time　one　did　complain　to　the　justices　（it　was　Mr。　Petworth）；　they　had　no　sooner　pas