the heir of redclyffe-第100部分

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depended　on　her。　　His　comforts　were　so　cared　for；　that　he　was　often　

sorry　she　should　have　troubled　herself　about　them；　and　though　he　could　

have　little　of　her　company；　he　never　was　allowed　to　feel　himself　

deserted。　　Anne；　Arnaud；　the　old　Italian　nurse；　or　Amy　herself；　were　

easily　summoned；　and　gave　him　full　care　and　attention。



He　was；　however；　necessarily　a　good　deal　alone；　and　though　his　cousin's　

books　were　at　his　disposal；　eyes　and　head　were　too　weak　for　reading；　

and　he　was　left　a　prey　to　his　own　thoughts。　　His　great　comfort　was；　

that　Guy　was　less　ill　than　he　had　been　himself；　and　that　there　was　no　

present　danger；　otherwise；　he　could　never　have　endured　the　conviction　

that　all　had　been　caused　by　his　own　imprudence。　　Imprudence！　　Philip　

was　brought　very　low　to　own　that　such　a　word　applied　to　him；　yet　it　

would　have　been　well　for　him　had　that　been　the　chief　burthen　on　his　

mind。　　Was　it　only　an　ordinary　service　of　friendship　and　kindred　that　

Guy　had；　at　the　peril　of　his　own　life；　rendered　him？　　Was　it　not　a　

positive　return　of　good　for　evil？　　Yes；　evil！　　He　now　called　that　evil；　

or　at　least　harshness　and　hastiness　in　judgment；　which　he　had　hitherto　

deemed　true　friendship　and　consideration　for　Guy　and　Amy。　　Every　

feeling　of　distrust　and　jealousy　had　been　gradually　softening　since　his　

recovery　began；　gratitude　had　done　much；　and　dismay　at　Guy's　illness　

did　more。　　It　would　have　been　noble　and　generous　in　Guy　to　act　as　he　

had　done；　had　Philip's　surmises　been　correct；　and　this　he　began　to　

doubt；　though　it　was　his　only　justification；　and　even　to　wish　to　lose　

it。　　He　had　rather　believe　Guy　blameless。　　He　would　do　so；　if　possible；　

and　he　resolved；　on　the　first　opportunity；　to　beg　him　to　give　him　one　

last　assurance　that　all　was　right；　and　implicitly　believe　him。　　But　how　

was　it　possible　again　to　assume　to　be　a　ruler　and　judge　over　Guy　after　

it　was　known　how　egregiously　he　himself　had　erred？　　There　was　shame；　

sorrow；　self…humiliation；　and　anxiety　wherever　he　turned；　and　it　was　no　

wonder　that　depression　of　spirits　retarded　his　recovery。



It　was　not　till　the　tenth　day　after　Guy's　illness　had　begun　that　Philip　

was　able　to　be　dressed；　and　to　come　into　the　next　room；　where　Amabel　

had　promised　to　dine　with　him。　　As　he　lay　on　the　sofa；　she　thought　he　

looked　even　more　ill　than　in　bed；　the　change　from　his　former　appearance　

being　rendered　more　visible；　and　his　great　height　making　him　look　the　

more　thin。　　He　was　apparently　exhausted　with　the　exertion　of　dressing；　

for　he　was　very　silent　all　dinner…time；　though　Amabel　could　have　better　

talked　to…day　than　for　some　time　past；　since　Guy　had　had　some　

refreshing　sleep；　was　decidedly　less　feverish；　seemed　better　for　

nourishing　food；　and　said　that　he　wanted　nothing　but　a　puff　of　

Redclyffe　wind　to　make　him　well。　　He　was　pleased　to　hear　of　Philip's　

step　in　recovery；　and　altogether；　Amy　was　cheered　and　happy。



She　left　her　cousin　as　soon　as　dinner　was　over；　and　did　not　come　to　him　

again　for　nearly　an　hour　and　a　half。　　She　was　then　surprised　to　find　

him　finishing　a　letter；　resting　his　head　on　one　hand；　and　looking　wan；　

weary；　and　very　unhappy。



'Have　you　come　to　letter　writing？'



'Yes；'　he　answered；　in　a　worn；　dejected　tone；　'I　must　ask　you　to　direct　

this；　I　can't　make　it　legible；'



No　wonder；　so　much　did　his　hand　tremble；　as　he　held　out　the　envelope。



'To　your　sister？'　she　asked。



'No；　to　yours。　　I　never　wrote　to　her　before。　　There's　one　enclosed　to　

your　father；　to　tell　all。'



'I　am　glad　you　have　done　it；'　answered　Amy；　in　a　quiet　tone　of　sincere　

congratulation。　　'You　will　be　better　now　it　is　off　your　mind。　　But　how　

tired　you　are。　　You　must　go　back　to　bed。　　Shall　I　call　Arnaud？'



'I　must　rest　first'and　his　voice　failing；　he　laid　back　on　the　sofa；　

closed　his　eyes；　turned　ashy　pale；　and　became　so　faint　that　she　could　

not　leave　him；　and　was　obliged　to　apply　every　restorative　within　reach　

before　she　could　bring　him　back　to　a　state　of　tolerable　comfort。



The　next　minute　her　work　was　nearly　undone；　when　Anne　came　in　to　ask　

for　the　letters　for　the　post。　　'Shall　I　send　yours？'　asked　Amy。



He　muttered　an　assent。　　But　when　she　looked　back　to　him　after　speaking　

to　Anne；　she　saw　a　tremulous；　almost　convulsed　working　of　the　closed　

eyes　and　mouth；　while　the　thin　hands　were　clenched　together　with　a　

force　contrasting　with　the　helpless　manner　in　which　they　had　hung　a　

moment　before。　　She　guessed　at　the　intensity　of　anguish　it　mast　cost　a　

temper　so　proud；　a　heart　of　so　strong　a　mould；　and　feelings　so　deep；　to　

take　the　first　irrevocable　step　in　self…humiliation；　giving　up　into　the　

hands　of　others　the　engagement　that　had　hitherto　been　the　cherished　

treasure　of　his　life；　and　above　all；　in　exposing　Laura　to　bear　the　

brunt　of　the　penalty　of　the　fault　into　which　he　had　led　her。　　'Oh；　for　

Guy　to　comfort　him；'　thought　she；　feeling　herself　entirely　incompetent；　

dreading　to　intrude　on　his　feelings；　yet　thinking　it　unkind　to　go　away　

without　one　sympathizing　word　when　he　was　in　such　distress。



'You　will　be　glad；　in　time；'　at　last　she　said。　　He　made　no　answer。



She　held　the　stimulants　to　him　again；　and　tried　to　arrange　him　more　

comfortably。



'Thank　you；'　at　last　he　said。　　'How　is　Guy？'



'He　has　just　had　another　nice　quiet　sleep；　and　is　quite　refreshed。'



'That　is　a　blessing；　at　least。　　But　does　not　he　want　you？　　I　have　been　

keeping　you　a　long　time？'



'Thank　you；　as　he　is　awake；　I　should　like　to　go　back。　　You　are　better　

now。'



'Yes；　while　I　don't　move。'



'Don't　try。　　I'll　send　Arnaud；　and　as　soon　as　you　can；　you　had　better　

go　to　bed　again。'



Guy　was　still　awake；　and　able　to　hear　what　she　had　to　tell　him　about　

Philip。



'Poor　fellow！'　said　he。　　'We　must　try　to　soften　it。'



'Shall　I　write？'　said　Amy。　　'Mamma　will　be　pleased　to　hear　of　his　

having　told　you；　and　they　must　be　sorry　for　him；　when　they　hear　how　

much　the　letter　cost　him。'



'Ah！　they　will　not　guess　at　half　his　sorrow。'



'I　will　write　to　papa；　and　send　it　after　the　other　letters；　so　that　he　

may　read　it　before　he　hears　of　Philip's。'



'Poor　Laura！'　said　Guy。　　'Could　not　you　write　a　note　to　her　too？　　I　

want　her　to　be　told　that　I　am　very　sorry；　if　I　ever　gave　her　pain　by　

speaking　thoughtlessly　of　him。'



'Nay；'　said　Amy；　smiling；　'you　have　not　much　to　reproach　yourself　with　

in　that　way。　　It　was　I　that　always　abused　him。'



'You　can　never　do　so　again　'



'No；　I　don't　think　I　can；　now　I　have　seen　his　sorrow。'



Amabel　was　quite　in　spirits；　as　she　brought　her　writing　to　his　bed…

side；　and　read　her　sentences　to　him　as　she　composed　the　letter　to　her　

father；　while　he　suggested　and　approved。　　It　was　a　treat　indeed　to　have　

him　able　to　consult　with　her　once　more；　and　he　looked　so　much　relieved　

and　so　much　better；　that　she　felt　as　if　it　was　the　beginning　of　real　

improvement；　though　still　his　pulse　was　fast；　and　the　fever；　though　

lessened；　was　not　gone。



The　letter　was　almost　as　much　his　as　her　own；　and　he　ended　his　

dictation　thus：　'Say　that　I　am　sure　that　if　I　get　better　we　may　make　

arrangements　for　their　marriage。'



Then；　as　Amy　was　finishing　the　letter　with　her　hopes　of　his　amendment；　

he　added；　speaking　to　her；　and　not　dictating　'If　not；'she　shrank　

and　shivered；　but　did　not　exclaim；　for　he　looked　so　calm　and　happy　that　

she　did　not　like　to　interrupt　him　'If　not；　you　know；　it　will　be　very　

easy　to　put　the　money　matters　to　rights；　whatever　may　happen。'









CHAPTER　34







Sir；

It　is　your　fault　I　have　loved　Posthumus；

You　bred　him　as　my　playfellow；　and　he　is

A　man　worth　any　woman；　over…buys　me

Almost　the　sum　he　pays。CYMBELINE





The　first　tidings　of　Philip's　illness　arrived　at　Hollywell　one　morning　

at　breakfast；　and　were　thus　announced　by　Charles



'There！　　So　he　has　been　and　gone　and　done　it。'



'What？　　Who？　　Not　Guy？'



'Here　has　the　Captain　gone　and　caught　a　regular　bad　fever；　in　some　

malaria　hole；　delirious；　and　all　that　sort　of　thing；　and　of　course　our　

wise　brother　and　sister　must　needs　go　and　nurse　him；　by　way　of　a　pretty　

little　interlude　in　their　wedding　tour！'



Laura's　voice　alone　was　unheard　in　the　chorus　of　inquiry。　　She　sat　

cold；　stiff；　and　silent；　devouring　with　her　ears　each　reply；　that　fell　

like　a　death…blow；　while　she　was　mechanically　continuing　the　

occupations　of　breakfast。　　When　all　was　told；　she　hurried　to　her　own　

room；　but　the　want　of　sympathy　was　becoming　intolerable。　　If　Amabel　had　

been　at　home；　she　must　have　told　her　all。　　There　was　no　one　else；　and　

the　misery　to　be　endured　in　silence　was　dreadful。　　Her　dearesther　

whole　joy　and　hopesuffering；　dying；　and　to　hear　all　round　her　

speaking　of　him　with　kindness；　indeed；　but　what　to　her　seemed　

indifference；　blaming　him　for　wilfulness；　saying　he　had　drawn　it　on　

himself；it　seemed　to　drive　her　wild。　　She　conjured　up　pictures　of　his　

sufferings；　and　dreaded　Guy's　inexperience；　the　want　of　medical　advice；　

imagining　everything　that　was　terrible。　　Her　idol；　to　whom　her　whole　

soul　was　devoted；　was　passing　from　her；　and　no　one　pitied　her；　while　

the　latent　consciousness　of　disobedience　debarred　her　from　gaining　

solace　from　the　only　true　source。　　All　was　blank　desolationa；　wild　

agony；　untempered　by　resignation；　uncheered　by　prayer；　for　though　she　

did　pray；　it　was　without　trust；　without　hope；　while　her　wretchedness　

was　rendered　more　overwhelming　by　her　efforts　to　conceal　it。　　These　

were　so　far　ineffectual　that　no　one　could　help　perceiving　that　she　was　

extremely　unhappy；　but　then　all　the　family　knew　she　was　very　fond　of　

Philip；　and　neither　her　mother　nor　brother　could　be　surprised　at　her　

distress；　though　it　certainly　appeared　to　them　excessive。　　Mrs。　

Edmonstone　was　very　sorry　for　her；　and　very　affectionate　and　

considerate；　but　Laura　was　too　much　absorbed；　in　her　own　feelings　to