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¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡consequently¡¡I¡¡can¡¡get¡¡a¡¡reputation¡¡on¡¡her£»¡¡which¡¡is¡¡a¡¡thing¡¡I¡¡never
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡could¡¡accomplish¡¡on¡¡a¡¡transient¡¡boat¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡can¡¡¡¨bank¡¨¡¡in¡¡the
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¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡from¡¡amongst¡¡notes¡¡of¡¡smaller¡¡dimensions¡¡whose¡¡face¡¡I¡¡do¡¡not
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡exhibit£¡¡¡¡¡You¡¡will¡¡despise¡¡this¡¡egotism£»¡¡but¡¡I¡¡tell¡¡you¡¡there¡¡is¡¡a
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨stern¡¡joy¡¨¡¡in¡¡it¡£

We¡¡are¡¡dwelling¡¡on¡¡this¡¡period¡¡of¡¡Mark¡¡Twain's¡¡life£»¡¡for¡¡it¡¡was¡¡a¡¡period
that¡¡perhaps¡¡more¡¡than¡¡any¡¡other¡¡influenced¡¡his¡¡future¡¡years¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡became
completely¡¡saturated¡¡with¡¡the¡¡river¡¡its¡¡terms£»¡¡its¡¡memories£»¡¡its
influence¡¡remained¡¡a¡¡definite¡¡factor¡¡in¡¡his¡¡personality¡¡to¡¡the¡¡end¡¡of¡¡his
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he¡¡had¡¡been¡¡a¡¡subaltern¡¡not¡¡always¡¡even¡¡a¡¡wage¡­earnernow¡¡all¡¡in¡¡a
moment¡¡he¡¡had¡¡been¡¡transformed¡¡into¡¡a¡¡high¡¡chief¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡fullest¡¡ambition
of¡¡his¡¡childhood¡¡had¡¡been¡¡realizedmore¡¡than¡¡realized£»¡¡for¡¡in¡¡that¡¡day
he¡¡had¡¡never¡¡dreamed¡¡of¡¡a¡¡boat¡¡or¡¡of¡¡an¡¡income¡¡of¡¡such¡¡stately
proportions¡£¡¡¡¡Of¡¡great¡¡personal¡¡popularity£»¡¡and¡¡regarded¡¡as¡¡a¡¡safe¡¡pilot£»
he¡¡had¡¡been¡¡given¡¡one¡¡of¡¡the¡¡largest£»¡¡most¡¡difficult¡¡of¡¡boats¡£¡¡¡¡Single¡­
handed¡¡and¡¡alone¡¡he¡¡had¡¡fought¡¡his¡¡way¡¡into¡¡the¡¡company¡¡of¡¡kings¡£

And¡¡we¡¡may¡¡pardon¡¡his¡¡vanity¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡could¡¡hardly¡¡fail¡¡to¡¡feel¡¡his¡¡glory¡¡and
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Association¡¡Rooms¡£¡¡¡¡To¡¡this¡¡day¡¡he¡¡is¡¡remembered¡¡as¡¡a¡¡figure¡¡there£»
though¡¡we¡¡may¡¡believe£»¡¡regardless¡¡of¡¡his¡¡own¡¡statement£»¡¡that¡¡it¡¡was¡¡not
entirely¡¡because¡¡of¡¡his¡¡success¡£¡¡¡¡As¡¡the¡¡boys¡¡of¡¡Hannibal¡¡had¡¡gathered
around¡¡to¡¡listen¡¡when¡¡Sam¡¡Clemens¡¡began¡¡to¡¡speak£»¡¡so¡¡we¡¡may¡¡be¡¡certain
that¡¡the¡¡pilots¡¡at¡¡St¡£¡¡Louis¡¡and¡¡New¡¡Orleans¡¡laid¡¡aside¡¡other¡¡things¡¡when
he¡¡had¡¡an¡¡observation¡¡to¡¡make¡¡or¡¡a¡¡tale¡¡to¡¡tell¡£

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡He¡¡was¡¡much¡¡given¡¡to¡¡spinning¡¡yarns¡¡£§writes¡¡one¡¡associate¡¡of¡¡those
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡days£§¡¡so¡¡funny¡¡that¡¡his¡¡hearers¡¡were¡¡convulsed£»¡¡and¡¡yet¡¡all¡¡the
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡time¡¡his¡¡own¡¡face¡¡was¡¡perfectly¡¡sober¡£¡¡¡¡If¡¡he¡¡laughed¡¡at¡¡all£»¡¡it
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡must¡¡have¡¡been¡¡inside¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡would¡¡have¡¡killed¡¡his¡¡hearers¡¡to¡¡do¡¡that¡£
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Occasionally¡¡some¡¡of¡¡his¡¡droll¡¡yarns¡¡would¡¡get¡¡into¡¡the¡¡papers¡£¡¡¡¡He
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡may¡¡have¡¡written¡¡them¡¡himself¡£

Another¡¡riverman¡¡of¡¡those¡¡days¡¡has¡¡recalled¡¡a¡¡story¡¡he¡¡heard¡¡Sam¡¡Clemens
tell£º

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡We¡¡were¡¡speaking¡¡of¡¡presence¡¡of¡¡mind¡¡in¡¡accidentswe¡¡were¡¡always
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡talking¡¡of¡¡such¡¡things£»¡¡then¡¡he¡¡said£º

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨Boys£»¡¡I¡¡had¡¡great¡¡presence¡¡of¡¡mind¡¡once¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡was¡¡at¡¡a¡¡fire¡£¡¡¡¡An¡¡old
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¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡in¡¡the¡¡crowd¡¡below¡¡looked¡¡up£»¡¡but¡¡nobody¡¡did¡¡anything¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡ladders
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¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡threw¡¡the¡¡old¡¡man¡¡the¡¡end¡¡of¡¡it¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡caught¡¡it¡¡and¡¡I¡¡told¡¡him¡¡to¡¡tie
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡it¡¡around¡¡his¡¡waist¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡did¡¡so£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡pulled¡¡him¡¡down¡£¡¨

This¡¡was¡¡one¡¡of¡¡the¡¡stories¡¡that¡¡got¡¡into¡¡print¡¡and¡¡traveled¡¡far¡£
Perhaps£»¡¡as¡¡the¡¡old¡¡pilot¡¡suggests£»¡¡he¡¡wrote¡¡some¡¡of¡¡them¡¡himself£»¡¡for
Horace¡¡Bixby¡¡remembers¡¡that¡¡¡¨Sam¡¡was¡¡always¡¡scribbling¡¡when¡¡not¡¡at¡¡the
wheel¡£¡¨

But¡¡if¡¡he¡¡published¡¡any¡¡work¡¡in¡¡those¡¡river¡­days¡¡he¡¡did¡¡not¡¡acknowledge
it¡¡laterwith¡¡one¡¡exception¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡exception¡¡was¡¡not¡¡intended¡¡for
publication£»¡¡either¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡was¡¡a¡¡burlesque¡¡written¡¡for¡¡the¡¡amusement¡¡of¡¡his
immediate¡¡friends¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡has¡¡told¡¡the¡¡story¡¡himself£»¡¡more¡¡than¡¡once£»¡¡but¡¡it
belongs¡¡here¡¡for¡¡the¡¡reason¡¡that¡¡some¡¡where¡¡out¡¡of¡¡the¡¡general
circumstance¡¡of¡¡it¡¡there¡¡originated¡¡a¡¡pseudonym£»¡¡one¡¡day¡¡to¡¡become¡¡the
best¡­known¡¡in¡¡the¡¡hemispheres¡¡the¡¡name¡¡Mark¡¡Twain¡£

That¡¡terse£»¡¡positive£»¡¡peremptory£»¡¡dynamic¡¡pen¡­name¡¡was¡¡first¡¡used¡¡by¡¡an
old¡¡pilot¡¡named¡¡Isaiah¡¡Sellersa¡¡sort¡¡of¡¡¡¨oldest¡¡inhabitant¡¨¡¡of¡¡the
river£»¡¡who¡¡made¡¡the¡¡other¡¡pilots¡¡weary¡¡with¡¡the¡¡scope¡¡and¡¡antiquity¡¡of
his¡¡reminiscent¡¡knowledge¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡contributed¡¡paragraphs¡¡of¡¡general
information¡¡and¡¡Nestorian¡¡opinions¡¡to¡¡the¡¡New¡¡Orleans¡¡Picayune£»¡¡and
signed¡¡them¡¡¡¨Mark¡¡Twain¡£¡¨¡¡¡¡They¡¡were¡¡quaintly¡¡egotistical¡¡in¡¡tone£»
usually¡¡beginning£º¡¡¡¨My¡¡opinion¡¡for¡¡the¡¡benefit¡¡of¡¡the¡¡citizens¡¡of¡¡New
Orleans£»¡¨¡¡and¡¡reciting¡¡incidents¡¡and¡¡comparisons¡¡dating¡¡as¡¡far¡¡back¡¡as
1811¡£

Captain¡¡Sellers¡¡naturally¡¡was¡¡regarded¡¡as¡¡fair¡¡game¡¡by¡¡the¡¡young¡¡pilots£»
who¡¡amused¡¡themselves¡¡by¡¡imitating¡¡his¡¡manner¡¡and¡¡general¡¡attitude¡¡of
speech¡£¡¡¡¡But¡¡Clemens¡¡went¡¡further£»¡¡he¡¡wrote¡¡at¡¡considerable¡¡length¡¡a
broadly¡¡burlesque¡¡imitation¡¡signed¡¡¡¨Sergeant¡¡Fathom£»¡¨¡¡with¡¡an
introduction¡¡which¡¡referred¡¡to¡¡the¡¡said¡¡Fathom¡¡as¡¡¡¨one¡¡of¡¡the¡¡oldest¡¡cub
pilots¡¡on¡¡the¡¡river¡£¡¨¡¡¡¡The¡¡letter¡¡that¡¡followed¡¡related¡¡a¡¡perfectly
impossible¡¡trip£»¡¡supposed¡¡to¡¡have¡¡been¡¡made¡¡in¡¡1763¡¡by¡¡the¡¡steamer¡¡¡¨the
old¡¡first¡¡Jubilee¡¨¡¡with¡¡a¡¡¡¨Chinese¡¡captain¡¡and¡¡a¡¡Choctaw¡¡crew¡£¡¨¡¡¡¡It¡¡is¡¡a
gem¡¡of¡¡its¡¡kind£»¡¡and¡¡will¡¡bear¡¡reprint¡¡in¡¡full¡¡today¡£¡¡¡¡£§See¡¡Appendix¡¡B£»
at¡¡the¡¡end¡¡of¡¡the¡¡last¡¡volume¡££§

The¡¡burlesque¡¡delighted¡¡Bart¡¡Bowen£»¡¡who¡¡was¡¡Clemens's¡¡pilot¡¡partner¡¡on
the¡¡Edward¡¡J¡£¡¡Gay¡¡at¡¡the¡¡time¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡insisted¡¡on¡¡showing¡¡it¡¡to¡¡others¡¡and
finally¡¡upon¡¡printing¡¡it¡£¡¡¡¡Clemens¡¡was¡¡reluctant£»¡¡but¡¡consented¡£¡¡¡¡It
appeared¡¡in¡¡the¡¡True¡¡Delta¡¡£¨May¡¡8¡¡or¡¡9£»¡¡1859£©£»¡¡and¡¡was¡¡widely¡¡and
boisterously¡¡enjoyed¡£

It¡¡broke¡¡Captain¡¡Sellers's¡¡literary¡¡heart¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡never¡¡contributed¡¡another
paragraph¡£¡¡¡¡Mark¡¡Twain¡¡always¡¡regretted¡¡the¡¡whole¡¡matter¡¡deeply£»¡¡and¡¡his
own¡¡revival¡¡of¡¡the¡¡name¡¡was¡¡a¡¡sort¡¡of¡¡tribute¡¡to¡¡the¡¡old¡¡man¡¡he¡¡had
thoughtlessly¡¡wounded¡£¡¡¡¡If¡¡Captain¡¡Sellers¡¡has¡¡knowledge¡¡of¡¡material
matters¡¡now£»¡¡he¡¡is¡¡probably¡¡satisfied£»¡¡for¡¡these¡¡things¡¡brought¡¡to¡¡him£»
and¡¡to¡¡the¡¡name¡¡he¡¡had¡¡chosen£»¡¡what¡¡he¡¡could¡¡never¡¡himself¡¡have¡¡achieved
immortality¡£





XXVIII

PILOTING¡¡AND¡¡PROPHECY

Those¡¡who¡¡knew¡¡Samuel¡¡Clemens¡¡best¡¡in¡¡those¡¡days¡¡say¡¡that¡¡he¡¡was¡¡a
slender£»¡¡fine¡­looking¡¡man£»¡¡well¡¡dressedeven¡¡dandifiedgiven¡¡to¡¡patent
leathers£»¡¡blue¡¡serge£»¡¡white¡¡duck£»¡¡and¡¡fancy¡¡striped¡¡shirts¡£¡¡¡¡Old¡¡for¡¡his
years£»¡¡he¡¡heightened¡¡his¡¡appearance¡¡at¡¡times¡¡by¡¡wearing¡¡his¡¡beard¡¡in¡¡the
atrocious¡¡mutton¡­chop¡¡fashion£»¡¡then¡¡popular£»¡¡but¡¡becoming¡¡to¡¡no¡¡one£»
least¡¡of¡¡all¡¡to¡¡him¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡pilots¡¡regarded¡¡him¡¡as¡¡a¡¡great¡¡reader
a¡¡student¡¡of¡¡history£»¡¡travels£»¡¡literature£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡sciencesa¡¡young¡¡man
whom¡¡it¡¡was¡¡an¡¡education¡¡as¡¡well¡¡as¡¡an¡¡entertainment¡¡to¡¡know¡£¡¡¡¡When¡¡not
at¡¡the¡¡wheel£»¡¡he¡¡was¡¡likely¡¡to¡¡be¡¡reading¡¡or¡¡telling¡¡yarns¡¡in¡¡the
Association¡¡Rooms¡£

He¡¡began¡¡the¡¡study¡¡of¡¡French¡¡one¡¡day¡¡when¡¡he¡¡passed¡¡a¡¡school¡¡of
languages£»¡¡where¡¡three¡¡tongues£»¡¡French£»¡¡German£»¡¡and¡¡Italian£»¡¡were¡¡taught£»
one¡¡in¡¡each¡¡of¡¡three¡¡rooms¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡price¡¡was¡¡twenty¡­five¡¡dollars¡¡for¡¡one
language£»¡¡or¡¡three¡¡for¡¡fifty¡¡dollars¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡student¡¡was¡¡provided¡¡with¡¡a
set¡¡of¡¡cards¡¡for¡¡each¡¡room¡¡and¡¡supposed¡¡to¡¡walk¡¡from¡¡one¡¡apartment¡¡to
another£»¡¡changing¡¡tongues¡¡at¡¡each¡¡threshold¡£¡¡¡¡With¡¡his¡¡unusual¡¡enthusiasm
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after¡¡the¡¡first¡¡two¡¡or¡¡three¡¡round¡¡trips¡¡concluded¡¡that¡¡for¡¡the¡¡present
French¡¡would¡¡do¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡did¡¡not¡¡return¡¡to¡¡the¡¡school£»¡¡but¡¡kept¡¡his¡¡cards¡¡and
bought¡¡text¡­books¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡must¡¡have¡¡studied¡¡pretty¡¡faithfully¡¡when¡¡he¡¡was
off¡¡watch¡¡and¡¡in¡¡port£»¡¡for¡¡his¡¡river¡¡note¡­book¡¡contains¡¡a¡¡French
exercise£»¡¡all¡¡neatly¡¡written£»¡¡and¡¡it¡¡is¡¡from¡¡the¡¡Dialogues¡¡of¡¡Voltaire¡£

This¡¡old¡¡note¡­book¡¡is¡¡interesting¡¡for¡¡other¡¡things¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡notes¡¡are¡¡no
longer¡¡timid£»¡¡hesitating¡¡memoranda£»¡¡but¡¡vigorous¡¡records¡¡made¡¡with¡¡the
dash¡¡of¡¡assurance¡¡that¡¡comes¡¡from

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