mark twain, a biography, 1835-1866-第29部分

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They　were　examined　and　passed。　　It　was　the　last　steamboat　to　make　the
trip　from　New　Orleans　to　St。　Louis。　　Mark　Twain's　pilot…days　were　over。
He　would　have　grieved　had　he　known　this　fact。

〃I　loved　the　profession　far　better　than　any　I　have　followed　since；〃　he
long　afterward　declared；　〃and　I　took　a　measureless　pride　in　it。〃

The　dreamy；　easy；　romantic　existence　suited　him　exactly。　　A　sovereign　and
an　autocrat；　the　pilot's　word　was　law；　he　wore　his　responsibilities　as　a
crown。　　As　long　as　he　lived　Samuel　Clemens　would　return　to　those　old　days
with　fondness　and　affection；　and　with　regret　that　they　were　no　more。




XXX

THE　SOLDIER

Clemens　spent　a　few　days　in　St。　Louis　（in　retirement；　for　there　was　a
pressing　war　demand　for　Mississippi　pilots）；　then　went　up　to　Hannibal　to
visit　old　friends。　　They　were　glad　enough　to　see　him；　and　invited　him　to
join　a　company　of　gay　military　enthusiasts　who　were　organizing　to　〃help
Gov。　'Claib'　Jackson　repel　the　invader。〃　　A　good　many　companies　were
forming　in　and　about　Hannibal；　and　sometimes　purposes　were　conflicting
and　badly　mixed。　　Some　of　the　volunteers　did　not　know　for　a　time　which
invader　they　intended　to　drive　from　Missouri　soil；　and　more　than　one
company　in　the　beginning　was　made　up　of　young　fellows　whose　chief
ambition　was　to　have　a　lark　regardless　as　to　which　cause　they　might
eventually　espouse。

＇The　military　organizations　of　Hannibal　and　Palmyra；　in　1861；　were　as
follows：　The　Marion　Artillery；　the　Silver　Grays；　Palmyra　Guards；　the　W。
E。　Dennis　company；　and　one　or　two　others。　　Most　of　them　were　small
private　affairs；　usually　composed　of　about　half…and…half　Union　and
Confederate　men；　who　knew　almost　nothing　of　the　questions　or　conditions；
and　disbanded　in　a　brief　time；　to　attach　themselves　to　the　regular
service　according　as　they　developed　convictions。　　The　general　idea　of
these　companies　was　a　little　camping…out　expedition　and　a　good　time。　　One
such　company　one　morning　received　unexpected　reinforcements。　　They　saw
the　approach　of　the　recruits；　and；　remarking　how　well　drilled　the　new
arrivals　seemed　to　be；　mistook　them　for　the　enemy　and　fled。＇


Samuel　Clemens　had　by　this　time　decided；　like　Lee；　that　he　would　go　with
his　State　and　lead　battalions　to　victory。　　The　〃battalion〃　in　this
instance　consisted　of　a　little　squad　of　young　fellows　of　his　own　age；
mostly　pilots　and　schoolmates；　including　Sam　Bowen；　Ed　Stevens；　and　Ab
Grimes；　about　a　dozen；　all　told。　　They　organized　secretly；　for　the　Union
militia　was　likely　to　come　over　from　Illinois　any　time　and　look　up　any
suspicious　armies　that　made　an　open　demonstration。　　An　army　might　lose
enthusiasm　and　prestige　if　it　spent　a　night　or　two　in　the　calaboose。

So　they　met　in　a　secret　place　above　Bear　Creek　Hill；　just　as　Tom　Sawyer's
red…handed　bandits　had　gathered　so　long　before　（a　good　many　of　them　were
of　the　same　lawless　lot）；　and　they　planned　how　they　would　sell　their
lives　on　the　field　of　glory；　just　as　Tom　Sawyer's　band　might　have　done　if
it　had　thought　about　playing　〃War；〃　instead　of　〃Indian〃　and　〃Pirate〃　and
〃Bandit〃　with　fierce　raids　on　peach　orchards　and　melon　patches。　　Then；　on
the　evening　before　marching　away；　they　stealthily　called　on　their
sweetheartsthose　who　had　them　did；　and　the　others　pretended　sweethearts
for　the　occasionand　when　it　was　dark　and　mysterious　they　said　good…by
and　suggested　that　maybe　those　girls　would　never　see　them　again。　　And　as
always　happens　in　such　a　case；　some　of　them　were　in　earnest；　and　two　or
three　of　the　little　group　that　slipped　away　that　night　never　did　come
back；　and　somewhere　sleep　in　unmarked　graves。

The　〃two　Sams〃Sam　Bowen　and　Sam　Clemenscalled　on　Patty　Gore　and　Julia
Willis　for　their　good…by　visit；　and；　when　they　left；　invited　the　girls　to
〃walk　through　the　pickets〃　with　them；　which　they　did　as　far　as　Bear　Creek
Hill。　　The　girls　didn't　notice　any　pickets；　because　the　pickets　were　away
calling　on　girls；　too；　and　probably　wouldn't　be　back　to　begin　picketing
for　some　time。　　So　the　girls　stood　there　and　watched　the　soldiers　march
up　Bear　Creek　Hill　and　disappear　among　the　trees。

The　army　had　a　good　enough　time　that　night；　marching　through　the　brush
and　vines　toward　New　London；　though　this　sort　of　thing　grew　rather
monotonous　by　morning。　　When　they　took　a　look　at　themselves　by　daylight；
with　their　nondescript　dress　and　accoutrements；　there　was　some　thing
about　it　all　which　appealed　to　one's　sense　of　humor　rather　than　to　his
patriotism。　　Colonel　Ralls；　of　Ralls　County；　however；　received　them
cordially　and　made　life　happier　for　them　with　a　good　breakfast　and　some
encouraging　words。　　He　was　authorized　to　administer　the　oath　of　office；
he　said；　and　he　proceeded　to　do　it；　and　made　them　a　speech　besides；　also
he　sent　out　notice　to　some　of　the　neighborsto　Col。　Bill　Splawn；　Farmer
Nuck　Matson；　and　othersthat　the　community　had　an　army　on　its　hands　and
perhaps　ought　to　do　something　for　it。　　This　brought　in　a　number　of
contributions；　provisions；　paraphernalia；　and　certain　superfluous　horses
and　mules；　which　converted　the　battalion　into　a　cavalry；　and　made　it
possible　for　it　to　move　on　to　the　front　without　further　delay。　　Samuel
Clemens；　mounted　on　a　small　yellow　mule　whose　tail　had　been　trimmed　down
to　a　tassel　at　the　end　in　a　style　that　suggested　his　name；　Paint　Brush；
upholstered　and　supplemented　with　an　extra　pair　of　cowskin　boots；　a　pair
of　gray　blankets；　a　home…made　quilt；　frying…pan；　a　carpet　sack；　a　small
valise；　an　overcoat；　an　old…fashioned　Kentucky　rifle；　twenty　yards　of
rope；　and　an　umbrella；　was　a　representative　unit　of　the　brigade。　　The
proper　thing　for　an　army　loaded　like　that　was　to　go　into　camp；　and　they
did　it。　　They　went　over　on　Salt　River；　near　Florida；　and　camped　not　far
from　a　farm…house　with　a　big　log　stable；　the　latter　they　used　as
headquarters。　　Somebody　suggested　that　when　they　went　into　battle　they
ought　to　have　short　hair；　so　that　in　a　hand…to…hand　conflict　the　enemy
could　not　get　hold　of　it。　　Tom　Lyon　found　a　pair　of　sheep…shears　in　the
stable　and　acted　as　barber。　　They　were　not　very　sharp　shears；　but　the
army　stood　the　torture　for　glory　in　the　field；　and　a　group　of　little
darkies　collected　from　the　farm…house　to　enjoy　the　performance。　　The　army
then　elected　its　officers。　　William　Ely　was　chosen　captain；　with　Asa
Glasscock　as　first　lieutenant。　　Samuel　Clemens　was　then　voted　second
lieutenant；　and　there　were　sergeants　and　orderlies。　　There　were　only
three　privates　when　the　election　was　over；　and　these　could　not　be
distinguished　by　their　deportment。　　There　was　scarcely　any　discipline　in
this　army。

Then　it　set　in　to　rain。　　It　rained　by　day　and　it　rained　by　night。　　Salt
River　rose　until　it　was　bank　full　and　overflowed　the　bottoms。　　Twice
there　was　a　false　night　alarm　of　the　enemy　approaching；　and　the　battalion
went　slopping　through　the　mud　and　brush　into　the　dark；　picking　out　the
best　way　to　retreat；　plodding　miserably　back　to　camp　when　the　alarm　was
over。　　Once　they　fired　a　volley　at　a　row　of　mullen　stalks；　waving　on　the
brow　of　a　hill；　and　once　a　picket　shot　at　his　own　horse　that　had　got
loose　and　had　wandered　toward　him　in　the　dusk。

The　rank　and　file　did　not　care　for　picket　duty。　　Sam　Bowenordered　by
Lieutenant　Clemens　to　go　on　guard　one　afternoondenounced　his　superior
and　had　to　be　threatened　with　court…martial　and　death。　　Sam　went　finally；
but　he　sat　in　a　hot　open　place　and　swore　at　the　battalion　and　the　war　in
general；　and　finally　went　to　sleep　in　the　broiling　sun。　　These　things
began　to　tell　on　patriotism。　　Presently　Lieutenant　Clemens　developed　a
boil；　and　was　obliged　to　make　himself　comfortable　with　some　hay　in　a
horse…trough；　where　he　lay　most　of　the　day；　violently　denouncing　the　war
and　the　fools　that　invented　it。　　Then　word　came　that　〃General〃　Tom
Harris；　who　was　in　command　of　the　district；　was　stopping　at　a　farmhouse
two　miles　away；　living　on　the　fat　of　the　land。

That　settled　it。　　Most　of　them　knew　Tom　Harris；　and　they　regarded　his
neglect　of　them　as　perfidy。　　They　broke　camp　without　further　ceremony。

Lieutenant　Clemens　needed　assistance　to　mount　Paint　Brush；　and　the　little
mule　refused　to　cross　the　river；　so　Ab　Grimes　took　the　coil　of　rope；
hitched　one　end　of　it　to　his　own　saddle　and　the　other　end　to　Paint
Brush's　neck。　　Grimes　was　mounted　on　a　big　horse；　and　when　he　started　it
was　necessary　for　Paint　Brush　to　follow。　　Arriving　at　the　farther　bank；
Grimes　looked　around；　and　was　horrified　to　see　that　the　end　of　the　rope
led　down　in　the　water　with　no　horse　and　rider　in　view。　　He　spurred　up　the
bank；　and　the　hat　of　Lieutenant　Clemens　and　the　ears　of　Paint　Brush
appeared。

〃Ah；〃　said　Clemens；　as　he　mopped　his　face；　〃do　you　know　that　little　devil
waded　all　the　way　across？〃

A　little　beyond　the　river　they　met　General　Harris；　who　ordered　them　back
to　camp。　　They　admonished　him　to　〃go　there　himself。〃　　They　said　they　had
been　in　that　camp　and　knew　all　about　it。　　They　were　going　now　where　there
was　foodreal　food　and　plenty　of　it。　　Then　he　begged　them；　but　it　was　no
use。　　By　and　by　they　stopped　at　a　farm…house　for　supplies。　　A　tall；　bony
woman　came　to　the　door：

〃You're　secesh；　ain't　you？〃

They　acknowledged　that　they　were　defenders　of　the　cause　and　that　they
wanted　to　buy　provisions。　　The　request　seemed　to　inflame　her。

〃Provisions！〃　she　screamed。　　〃Provisions　for　secesh；　and　my　husband　a
colonel　in　the　Union　Army。　　You　get　out　of　here！〃

She　reached　for　a　hickory　hoop…pole　that　stood　by　the　door；　and　the　army
moved　on。　　When　they　arrived　at　Col。　Bill　Splawn's　that　night　Colonel
Splawn　and　his　family　had　gone　to　bed；　and　it　seemed　unwise　to　disturb
them。　　The　hungry　army　camped　in　the　barnyard　and　crept　into　the　hay…loft
to　sleep。　　Presently　somebody　yelled　〃Fire！〃　One　of　the　boys　had　been
smoking　and　started　the　hay。　　Lieutenant　Clemens　suddenly　wakened；　made　a
quick　rolling　movement　from　the　blaze；　and　rolled　out　of　a　big　hay…window
into　the　barnyard　below。　　The　rest　of　the　army；　startled　into　action；
seized　the　burning　hay　and　pitched　it　out　of　the　same　window。　　The
lieutenant　had　sprained　his　ankle　when　he　struck　the　ground；　and　his　boil
was　far　from　well；　but　when　the　burning　hay　descended　he　forgot　his
disabiliti