mark twain, a biography, 1835-1866-第37部分

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His　pilot　memory　became　a　valuable　asset　in　news…gathering。　　Remembering
marks；　banks；　sounding；　and　other　river　detail　belonged　apparently　in　the
same　category　of　attainments　as　remembering　items　and　localities　of　news。
He　could　travel　all　day　without　a　note…book　and　at　night　reproduce　the
day's　budget　or　at　least　the　picturesqueness　of　it；　without　error。　　He
was　presently　accounted　a　good　reporter；　except　where　statistics
measurements　and　figureswere　concerned。　　These　he　gave　〃a　lick　and　a
promise；〃　according　to　De　Quille；　who　wrote　afterward　of　their
associations。　　De　Quille　says　further：

　　　　　Mark　and　I　agreed　well　in　our　work；　which　we　divided　when　there　was
　　　　　a　rush　of　events；　but　we　often　cruised　in　company；　he　taking　the
　　　　　items　of　news　he　could　handle　best；　and　I　such　as　I　felt　competent
　　　　　to　work　up。　　However；　we　wrote　at　the　same　table　and　frequently
　　　　　helped　each　other　with　such　suggestions　as　occurred　to　us　during　the
　　　　　brief　consultations　we　held　in　regard　to　the　handling　of　any　matters
　　　　　of　importance。　　Never　was　there　an　angry　word　between　us　in　all　the
　　　　　time　we　worked　together。

De　Quille　tells　how　Clemens　clipped　items　with　a　knife　when　there　were　no
scissors　handy；　and　slashed　through　on　the　top　of　his　desk；　which　in　time
took　on　the　semblance　〃of　a　huge　polar　star；　spiritedly　dashing　forth　a
thousand　rays。〃

The　author　of　'Roughing　It'　has　given　us　a　better　picture　of　the　Virginia
City　of　those　days　and　his　work　there　than　any　one　else　will　ever　write。
He　has　made〃　us　feel　the　general　spirit　of　affluence　that　prevailed；　how
the　problem　was　not　to　get　money；　but　to　spend　it；　how　〃feet〃　in　any　one
of　a　hundred　mines　could　be　had　for　the　asking；　how　such　shares　were
offered　like　apples　or　cigars　or　bonbons；　as　a　natural　matter　of　courtesy
when　one　happened　to　have　his　supply　in　view；　how　any　one　connected　with
a　newspaper　would　have　stocks　thrust　upon　him；　and　how　in　a　brief　time　he
had　acquired　a　trunk　ful　of　such　riches　and　usually　had　something　to　sell
when　any　of　the　claims　made　a　stir　on　the　market。　　He　has　told　us　of　the
desperadoes　and　their　trifling　regard　for　human　life；　and　preserved　other
elemental　characters　of　these　prodigal　days。　　The　funeral　of　Buck　Fanshaw
that　amazing　masterpieceis　a　complete　epitome　of　the　social　frontier。

It　would　not　be　the　part　of　wisdom　to　attempt　another　inclusive
presentation　of　Comstock　conditions。　　We　may　only　hope　to　add　a　few
details　of　history；　justified　now　by　time　and　circumstances；　to
supplement　the　picture　with　certain　data　of　personality　preserved　from
the　drift　of　years。




XXXVIII

ONE　OF　THE　〃STAFF〃

The　new　reporter　found　acquaintance　easy。　　The　office　force　was　like　one
family　among　which　there　was　no　line　of　caste。　　Proprietors；　editors；　and
printers　were　social　equals；　there　was　little　ceremony　among　themnone
at　all　outside　of　the　office。　　＇〃The　paper　went　to　press　at　two　in　the
morning；　then　all　the　staff　and　all　the　compositors　gathered　themselves
together　in　the　composing…room　and　drank　beer　and　sang　the　popular　war…
songs　of　the　day　until　dawn。〃S。　L。　C。；　in　1908。＇　　Samuel　Clemens
immediately　became　〃Sam；〃　or　〃Josh；〃　to　his　associates；　just　as　De　Quille
was　〃Dan〃　and　Goodman　〃Joe。〃　　He　found　that　he　disliked　the　name　of　Josh；
and；　as　he　did　not　sign　it　again；　it　was　presently　dropped。　　The　office；
and　Virginia　City　generally；　quickly　grew　fond　of　him；　delighting　in　his
originality　and　measured　speech。　　Enterprise　readers　began　to　identify
his　work；　then　unsigned；　and　to　enjoy　its　fresh　phrasing；　even　when　it
was　only　the　usual　local　item　or　mining　notice。　　True　to　its　name　and
reputation；　the　paper　had　added　a　new　attraction。

It　was　only　a　brief　time　after　his　arrival　in　Virginia　City　that　Clemens
began　the　series　of　hoaxes　which　would　carry　his　reputation；　not　always
in　an　enviable　fashion；　across　the　Sierras　and　down　the　Pacific　coast。
With　one　exception　these　are　lost　to…day；　for　so　far　as　known　there　is
not　a　single　file　of　the　Enterprise　in　existence。　　Only　a　few　stray
copies　and　clippings　are　preserved；　but　we　know　the　story　of　some　of
these　literary　pranks　and　of　their　results。　　They　were　usually　intended
as　a　special　punishment　of　some　particular　individual　or　paper　or
locality；　but　victims　were　gathered　by　the　wholesale　in　their　seductive
web。　　Mark　Twain　himself；　in　his　book　of　Sketches；　has　set　down　something
concerning　the　first　of　these；　〃The　Petrified　Man；〃　and　of　another；　〃My
Bloody　Massacre；〃　but　in　neither　case　has　he　told　it　all。　　〃The　Petrified
Man〃　hoax　was　directed　at　an　official　named　Sewall；　a　coroner　and　justice
of　the　peace　at　Humboldt；　who　had　been　pompously　indifferent　in　the
matter　of　supplying　news。　　The　story；　told　with　great　circumstance　and
apparent　care　as　to　detail；　related　the　finding　of　a　petrified
prehistoric　man；　partially　imbedded　in　a　rock；　in　a　cave　in　the　desert
more　than　one　hundred　miles　from　Humboldt；　and　how　Sewall　had　made　the
perilous　five…day　journey　in　the　alkali　waste　to　hold　an　inquest　over　a
man　that　had　been　dead　three　hundred　years；　also　how；　〃with　that　delicacy
so　characteristic　of　him；〃　Sewall　had　forbidden　the　miners　from　blasting
him　from　his　position。　　The　account　further　stated　that　the　hands　of　the
deceased　were　arranged　in　a　peculiar　fashion；　and　the　description　of　the
arrangement　was　so　skilfully　woven　in　with　other　matters　that　at　first；
or　even　second；　reading　one　might　not　see　that　the　position　indicated　was
the　ancient　one　which　begins　with　the　thumb　at　the　nose　and　in　many　ages
has　been　used　impolitely　to　express　ridicule　and　the　word　〃sold。〃　　But
the　description　was　a　shade　too　ingenious。　　The　author　expected　that　the
exchanges　would　see　the　jolt　and　perhaps　assist　in　the　fun　he　would　have
with　Sewall。　　He　did　not　contemplate　a　joke　on　the　papers　themselves。　　As
a　matter　of　fact；　no　one　saw　the　〃sell〃　and　most　of　the　papers　printed
his　story　of　the　petrified　man　as　a　genuine　discovery。　　This　was　a
surprise；　and　a　momentary　disappointment；　then　he　realized　that　he　had
builded　better　than　he　knew。　　He　gathered　up　a　bundle　of　the　exchanges
and　sent　them　to　Sewall；　also　he　sent　marked　copies　to　scientific　men　in
various　parts　of　the　United　States。　　The　papers　had　taken　it　seriously；
perhaps　the　scientists　would。　　Some　of　them　did；　and　Sewall's　days　became
unhappy　because　of　letters　received　asking　further　information。　　As
literature；　the　effort　did　not　rank　high；　and　as　a　trick　on　an　obscure
official　it　was　hardly　worth　while；　but；　as　a　joke　on　the　Coast　exchanges
and　press　generally；　it　was　greatly　regarded　and　its　author；　though　as
yet　unnamed；　acquired　prestige。

Inquiries　began　to　be　made　as　to　who　was　the　smart　chap　in　Virginia　that
did　these　things。　　The　papers　became　wary　and　read　Enterprise　items　twice
before　clipping　them。　　Clemens　turned　his　attention　to　other　matters　to
lull　suspicion。　　The　great　〃Dutch　Nick　Massacre〃　did　not　follow　until　a
year　later。

Reference　has　already　been　made　to　the　Comstock's　delight　in　humor　of　a
positive　sort。　　The　practical　joke　was　legal　tender　in　Virginia。　　One
might　protest　and　swear；　but　he　must　take　it。　　An　example　of　Comstock
humor；　regarded　as　the　finest　assay；　is　an　incident　still　told　of　Leslie
Blackburn　and　Pat　Holland；　two　gay　men　about　town。　　They　were　coming　down
C　Street　one　morning　when　they　saw　some　fine　watermelons　on　a　fruit…stand
at　the　International　Hotel　corner。　　Watermelons　were　rare　and　costly　in
that　day　and　locality；　and　these　were　worth　three　dollars　apiece。
Blackburn　said：

〃Pat；　let's　get　one　of　those　watermelons。　　You　engage　that　fellow　in
conversation　while　I　stand　at　the　corner；　where　I　can　step　around　out　of
sight　easily。　　When　you　have　got　him　interested；　point　to　something　on
the　back　shelf　and　pitch　me　a　melon。〃

This　appealed　to　Holland；　and　he　carried　out　his　part　of　the　plan
perfectly；　but　when　he　pitched　the　watermelon　Blackburn　simply　put　his
hands　in　his　pockets；　and　stepped　around　the　comer；　leaving　the　melon　a
fearful　disaster　on　the　pavement。　　It　was　almost　impossible　for　Pat　to
explain　to　the　fruit…man　why　he　pitched　away　a　three…dollar　melon　like
that　even　after　paying　for　it；　and　it　was　still　more　trying；　also　more
expensive；　to　explain　to　the　boys　facing　the　various　bars　along　C　Street。

Sam　Clemens；　himself　a　practical　joker　in　his　youth；　found　a　healthy
delight　in　this　knock…down　humor　of　the　Comstock。　　It　appealed　to　his
vigorous；　elemental　nature。　　He　seldom　indulged　physically　in　such
things；　but　his　printed　squibs　and　hoaxes　and　his　keen　love　of　the
ridiculous　placed　him　in　the　joker　class；　while　his　prompt　temper；　droll
manner；　and　rare　gift　of　invective　made　him　an　enticing　victim。

Among　the　Enterprise　compositors　was　one　by　the　name　of　Stephen　E。
Gillis　（Steve；　of　courseone　of　the　〃fighting　Gillises〃）；　a　small；
fearless　young　fellow；　handsome；　quick　of　wit；　with　eyes　like　needle…
points。

〃Steve　weighed　only　ninety…five　pounds；〃　Mark　Twain　once　wrote　of　him；
〃but　it　was　well　known　throughout　the　Territory　that　with　his　fists　he
could　whip　anybody　that　walked　on　two　legs；　let　his　weight　and　science　be
what　they　might。〃

Clemens　was　fond　of　Steve　Gillis　from　the　first。　　The　two　became　closely
associated　in　time；　and　were　always　bosom　friends；　but　Steve　was　a
merciless　joker；　and　never　as　long　as　they　were　together　could　he　〃resist
the　temptation　of　making　Sam　swear；〃　claiming　that　his　profanity　was
grander　than　any　music。

A　word　hereabout　Mark　Twain's　profanity。　　Born　with　a　matchless　gift　of
phrase；　the　printing…office；　the　river；　and　the　mines　had　developed　it　in
a　rare　perfection。　　To　hear　him　denounce　a　thing　was　to　give　one　the
fierce；　searching　delight　of　galvanic　waves。　　Every　characterization
seemed　the　most　perfect　fit　possible　until　he　applied　the　next。　　And
somehow　his　profanity　was　seldom　an　offense。　　It　was　not　mere　idle
swearing；　it　seemed　always　genuine　and　serious。　　His　selection　of　epithet
was　always　dignified　and　stately；　from　whatever　sourceand　it　might　be
from　the　Bible　or　the　gutter。　　Some　one　has　defined　dirt　as　misplaced
matter。　　It　is　perhaps　the　greatest　definition　ever　uttered。　　It　is