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and over; now presenting his unconscious face upwards; now the back

of his bald head; until the unnatural feat was accomplished; and

the bandage secured by a pin; which I have every reason to believe

entered the body of my only child。  In this tourniquet; he passes

the present phase of his existence。  Can I know it; and smile!



I fear I have been betrayed into expressing myself warmly; but I

feel deeply。  Not for myself; for Augustus George。  I dare not

interfere。  Will any one?  Will any publication?  Any doctor?  Any

parent?  Any body?  I do not complain that Mrs。 Prodgit (aided and

abetted by Mrs。 Bigby) entirely alienates Maria Jane's affections

from me; and interposes an impassable barrier between us。  I do not

complain of being made of no account。  I do not want to be of any

account。  But; Augustus George is a production of Nature (I cannot

think otherwise); and I claim that he should be treated with some

remote reference to Nature。  In my opinion; Mrs。 Prodgit is; from

first to last; a convention and a superstition。  Are all the

faculty afraid of Mrs。 Prodgit?  If not; why don't they take her in

hand and improve her?



P。S。  Maria Jane's Mama boasts of her own knowledge of the subject;

and says she brought up seven children besides Maria Jane。  But how

do I know that she might not have brought them up much better?

Maria Jane herself is far from strong; and is subject to headaches;

and nervous indigestion。  Besides which; I learn from the

statistical tables that one child in five dies within the first

year of its life; and one child in three; within the fifth。  That

don't look as if we could never improve in these particulars; I

think!



P。P。S。 Augustus George is in convulsions。







LYING AWAKE







'MY uncle lay with his eyes half closed; and his nightcap drawn

almost down to his nose。  His fancy was already wandering; and

began to mingle up the present scene with the crater of Vesuvius;

the French Opera; the Coliseum at Rome; Dolly's Chop…house in

London; and all the farrago of noted places with which the brain of

a traveller is crammed; in a word; he was just falling asleep。'



Thus; that delightful writer; WASHINGTON IRVING; in his Tales of a

Traveller。  But; it happened to me the other night to be lying: not

with my eyes half closed; but with my eyes wide open; not with my

nightcap drawn almost down to my nose; for on sanitary principles I

never wear a nightcap: but with my hair pitchforked and touzled all

over the pillow; not just falling asleep by any means; but

glaringly; persistently; and obstinately; broad awake。  Perhaps;

with no scientific intention or invention; I was illustrating the

theory of the Duality of the Brain; perhaps one part of my brain;

being wakeful; sat up to watch the other part which was sleepy。  Be

that as it may; something in me was as desirous to go to sleep as

it possibly could be; but something else in me WOULD NOT go to

sleep; and was as obstinate as George the Third。



Thinking of George the Third … for I devote this paper to my train

of thoughts as I lay awake: most people lying awake sometimes; and

having some interest in the subject … put me in mind of BENJAMIN

FRANKLIN; and so Benjamin Franklin's paper on the art of procuring

pleasant dreams; which would seem necessarily to include the art of

going to sleep; came into my head。  Now; as I often used to read

that paper when I was a very small boy; and as I recollect

everything I read then as perfectly as I forget everything I read

now; I quoted 'Get out of bed; beat up and turn your pillow; shake

the bed…clothes well with at least twenty shakes; then throw the

bed open and leave it to cool; in the meanwhile; continuing

undrest; walk about your chamber。  When you begin to feel the cold

air unpleasant; then return to your bed; and you will soon fall

asleep; and your sleep will be sweet and pleasant。'  Not a bit of

it!  I performed the whole ceremony; and if it were possible for me

to be more saucer…eyed than I was before; that was the only result

that came of it。



Except Niagara。  The two quotations from Washington Irving and

Benjamin Franklin may have put it in my head by an American

association of ideas; but there I was; and the Horse…shoe Fall was

thundering and tumbling in my eyes and ears; and the very rainbows

that I left upon the spray when I really did last look upon it;

were beautiful to see。  The night…light being quite as plain;

however; and sleep seeming to be many thousand miles further off

than Niagara; I made up my mind to think a little about Sleep;

which I no sooner did than I whirled off in spite of myself to

Drury Lane Theatre; and there saw a great actor and dear friend of

mine (whom I had been thinking of in the day) playing Macbeth; and

heard him apostrophising 'the death of each day's life;' as I have

heard him many a time; in the days that are gone。



But; Sleep。  I WILL think about Sleep。  I am determined to think

(this is the way I went on) about Sleep。  I must hold the word

Sleep; tight and fast; or I shall be off at a tangent in half a

second。  I feel myself unaccountably straying; already; into Clare

Market。  Sleep。  It would be curious; as illustrating the equality

of sleep; to inquire how many of its phenomena are common to all

classes; to all degrees of wealth and poverty; to every grade of

education and ignorance。  Here; for example; is her Majesty Queen

Victoria in her palace; this present blessed night; and here is

Winking Charley; a sturdy vagrant; in one of her Majesty's jails。

Her Majesty has fallen; many thousands of times; from that same

Tower; which I claim a right to tumble off now and then。  So has

Winking Charley。  Her Majesty in her sleep has opened or prorogued

Parliament; or has held a Drawing Room; attired in some very scanty

dress; the deficiencies and improprieties of which have caused her

great uneasiness。  I; in my degree; have suffered unspeakable

agitation of mind from taking the chair at a public dinner at the

London Tavern in my night…clothes; which not all the courtesy of my

kind friend and host MR。 BATHE could persuade me were quite adapted

to the occasion。  Winking Charley has been repeatedly tried in a

worse condition。  Her Majesty is no stranger to a vault or

firmament; of a sort of floorcloth; with an indistinct pattern

distantly resembling eyes; which occasionally obtrudes itself on

her repose。  Neither am I。  Neither is Winking Charley。  It is

quite common to all three of us to skim along with airy strides a

little above the ground; also to hold; with the deepest interest;

dialogues with various people; all represented by ourselves; and to

be at our wit's end to know what they are going to tell us; and to

be indescribably astonished by the secrets they disclose。  It is

probable that we have all three committed murders and hidden

bodies。  It is pretty certain that we have all desperately wanted

to cry out; and have had no voice; that we have all gone to the

play and not been able to get in; that we have all dreamed much

more of our youth than of our later lives; that … I have lost it!

The thread's broken。



And up I go。  I; lying here with the night…light before me; up I

go; for no reason on earth that I can find out; and drawn by no

links that are visible to me; up the Great Saint Bernard!  I have

lived in Switzerland; and rambled among the mountains; but; why I

should go there now; and why up the Great Saint Bernard in

preference to any other mountain; I have no idea。  As I lie here

broad awake; and with every sense so sharpened that I can

distinctly hear distant noises inaudible to me at another time; I

make that journey; as I really did; on the same summer day; with

the same happy party … ah! two since dead; I grieve to think … and

there is the same track; with the same black wooden arms to point

the way; and there are the same storm…refuges here and there; and

there is the same snow falling at the top; and there are the same

frosty mists; and there is the same intensely cold convent with its

menagerie smell; and the same breed of dogs fast dying out; and the

same breed of jolly young monks whom I mourn to know as humbugs;

and the same convent parlour with its piano and the sitting round

the fire; and the same supper; and the same lone night in a cell;

and the same bright fresh morning when going out into the highly

rarefied air was like a plunge into an icy bath。  Now; see here

what comes along; and why does this thing stalk into my mind on the

top of a Swiss mountain!



It is a figure that I once saw; just after dark; chalked upon a

door in a little back lane near a country church … my first church。

How young a child I may have been at the time I don't know; but it

horrified me so intensely … in connexion with the churchyard; I

suppose; for it smokes a pipe; and has a big hat with each of its

ears sticking out in a horizontal line under the brim; and is not

in itself more oppressive than a mouth from ear to ear; a pair of

goggle eyes; and hands like two bunches of carrots; five in each;

can make it … that it is still vaguely alarming to me to recall (as

I have often done before; lying awake) the running home; the

looking behind; the horror; of its following me; though whether

disconnected from the door; or door and all; I can't say; and

perhaps never could。  It lays a disagreeable train。  I must resolve

to think of something on the voluntary principle。



The balloon ascents of this last season。  They will do to think

about; while I lie awake; as well as anything else。  I must hold

them tight though; for I feel them sliding away; and in their stead

are the Mannings; husband and wife; hanging on the top of Horse…

monger Lane Jail。  In connexion with which dismal spectacle; I

recall this curious fantasy of the mind。  That; having beheld that

execution; and having left those two forms danglin

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