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again。  She signed it again。  I paid seven pound; thirteen; and

six; more; for this。  I had been over a month at Thomas Joy's。  I

was quite wore out; patience and pocket。



Thomas Joy delivered all this; as it went on; to William Butcher。

William Butcher delivered it again to three Birmingham Parlours;

from which it got to all the other Parlours; and was took; as I

have been told since; right through all the shops in the North of

England。  Note。  William Butcher delivered; at his Parlour; in a

speech; that it was a Patent way of making Chartists。



But I hadn't nigh done yet。  The Queen's bill was to be took to the

Signet Office in Somerset House; Strand … where the stamp shop is。

The Clerk of the Signet made 'a Signet bill for the Lord Keeper of

the Privy Seal。'  I paid him four pound; seven。  The Clerk of the

Lord Keeper of the Privy Seal made 'a Privy…Seal bill for the Lord

Chancellor。'  I paid him; four pound; two。  The Privy…Seal bill was

handed over to the Clerk of the Patents; who engrossed the

aforesaid。  I paid him five pound; seventeen; and eight; at the

same time; I paid Stamp…duty for the Patent; in one lump; thirty

pound。  I next paid for 'boxes for the Patent;' nine and sixpence。

Note。  Thomas Joy would have made the same at a profit for

eighteen…pence。  I next paid 'fees to the Deputy; the Lord

Chancellor's Purse…bearer;' two pound; two。  I next paid 'fees to

the Clerk of the Hanapar;' seven pound; thirteen。  I next paid

'fees to the Deputy Clerk of the Hanaper;' ten shillings。  I next

paid; to the Lord Chancellor again; one pound; eleven; and six。

Last of all; I paid 'fees to the Deputy Sealer; and Deputy Chaff…

wax;' ten shillings and sixpence。  I had lodged at Thomas Joy's

over six weeks; and the unopposed Patent for my invention; for

England only; had cost me ninety…six pound; seven; and eightpence。

If I had taken it out for the United Kingdom; it would have cost me

more than three hundred pound。



Now; teaching had not come up but very limited when I was young。

So much the worse for me you'll say。  I say the same。  William

Butcher is twenty year younger than me。  He knows a hundred year

more。  If William Butcher had wanted to Patent an invention; he

might have been sharper than myself when hustled backwards and

forwards among all those offices; though I doubt if so patient。

Note。  William being sometimes cranky; and consider porters;

messengers; and clerks。



Thereby I say nothing of my being tired of my life; while I was

Patenting my invention。  But I put this: Is it reasonable to make a

man feel as if; in inventing an ingenious improvement meant to do

good; he had done something wrong?  How else can a man feel; when

he is met by such difficulties at every turn?  All inventors taking

out a Patent MUST feel so。  And look at the expense。  How hard on

me; and how hard on the country if there's any merit in me (and my

invention is took up now; I am thankful to say; and doing well); to

put me to all that expense before I can move a finger!  Make the

addition yourself; and it'll come to ninety…six pound; seven; and

eightpence。  No more; and no less。



What can I say against William Butcher; about places?  Look at the

Home Secretary; the Attorney…General; the Patent Office; the

Engrossing Clerk; the Lord Chancellor; the Privy Seal; the Clerk of

the Patents; the Lord Chancellor's Purse…bearer; the Clerk of the

Hanaper; the Deputy Clerk of the Hanaper; the Deputy Sealer; and

the Deputy Chaff…wax。  No man in England could get a Patent for an

Indian…rubber band; or an iron…hoop; without feeing all of them。

Some of them; over and over again。  I went through thirty…five

stages。  I began with the Queen upon the Throne。  I ended with the

Deputy Chaff…wax。  Note。  I should like to see the Deputy Chaff…

wax。  Is it a man; or what is it?



What I had to tell; I have told。  I have wrote it down。  I hope

it's plain。  Not so much in the handwriting (though nothing to

boast of there); as in the sense of it。  I will now conclude with

Thomas Joy。  Thomas said to me; when we parted; 'John; if the laws

of this country were as honest as they ought to be; you would have

come to London … registered an exact description and drawing of

your invention … paid half…a…crown or so for doing of it … and

therein and thereby have got your Patent。'



My opinion is the same as Thomas Joy。  Further。  In William

Butcher's delivering 'that the whole gang of Hanapers and Chaff…

waxes must be done away with; and that England has been chaffed and

waxed sufficient;' I agree。







THE NOBLE SAVAGE







TO come to the point at once; I beg to say that I have not the

least belief in the Noble Savage。  I consider him a prodigious

nuisance; and an enormous superstition。  His calling rum fire…

water; and me a pale face; wholly fail to reconcile me to him。  I

don't care what he calls me。  I call him a savage; and I call a

savage a something highly desirable to be civilised off the face of

the earth。  I think a mere gent (which I take to be the lowest form

of civilisation) better than a howling; whistling; clucking;

stamping; jumping; tearing savage。  It is all one to me; whether he

sticks a fish…bone through his visage; or bits of trees through the

lobes of his ears; or bird's feathers in his head; whether he

flattens his hair between two boards; or spreads his nose over the

breadth of his face; or drags his lower lip down by great weights;

or blackens his teeth; or knocks them out; or paints one cheek red

and the other blue; or tattoos himself; or oils himself; or rubs

his body with fat; or crimps it with knives。  Yielding to

whichsoever of these agreeable eccentricities; he is a savage …

cruel; false; thievish; murderous; addicted more or less to grease;

entrails; and beastly customs; a wild animal with the questionable

gift of boasting; a conceited; tiresome; bloodthirsty; monotonous

humbug。



Yet it is extraordinary to observe how some people will talk about

him; as they talk about the good old times; how they will regret

his disappearance; in the course of this world's development; from

such and such lands where his absence is a blessed relief and an

indispensable preparation for the sowing of the very first seeds of

any influence that can exalt humanity; how; even with the evidence

of himself before them; they will either be determined to believe;

or will suffer themselves to be persuaded into believing; that he

is something which their five senses tell them he is not。



There was Mr。 Catlin; some few years ago; with his Ojibbeway

Indians。  Mr。 Catlin was an energetic; earnest man; who had lived

among more tribes of Indians than I need reckon up here; and who

had written a picturesque and glowing book about them。  With his

party of Indians squatting and spitting on the table before him; or

dancing their miserable jigs after their own dreary manner; he

called; in all good faith; upon his civilised audience to take

notice of their symmetry and grace; their perfect limbs; and the

exquisite expression of their pantomime; and his civilised

audience; in all good faith; complied and admired。  Whereas; as

mere animals; they were wretched creatures; very low in the scale

and very poorly formed; and as men and women possessing any power

of truthful dramatic expression by means of action; they were no

better than the chorus at an Italian Opera in England … and would

have been worse if such a thing were possible。



Mine are no new views of the noble savage。  The greatest writers on

natural history found him out long ago。  BUFFON knew what he was;

and showed why he is the sulky tyrant that he is to his women; and

how it happens (Heaven be praised!) that his race is spare in

numbers。  For evidence of the quality of his moral nature; pass

himself for a moment and refer to his 'faithful dog。'  Has he ever

improved a dog; or attached a dog; since his nobility first ran

wild in woods; and was brought down (at a very long shot) by POPE?

Or does the animal that is the friend of man; always degenerate in

his low society?



It is not the miserable nature of the noble savage that is the new

thing; it is the whimpering over him with maudlin admiration; and

the affecting to regret him; and the drawing of any comparison of

advantage between the blemishes of civilisation and the tenor of

his swinish life。  There may have been a change now and then in

those diseased absurdities; but there is none in him。



Think of the Bushmen。  Think of the two men and the two women who

have been exhibited about England for some years。  Are the majority

of persons … who remember the horrid little leader of that party in

his festering bundle of hides; with his filth and his antipathy to

water; and his straddled legs; and his odious eyes shaded by his

brutal hand; and his cry of 'Qu…u…u…u…aaa!' (Bosjesman for

something desperately insulting I have no doubt) … conscious of an

affectionate yearning towards that noble savage; or is it

idiosyncratic in me to abhor; detest; abominate; and abjure him?  I

have no reserve on this subject; and will frankly state that;

setting aside that stage of the entertainment when he counterfeited

the death of some creature he had shot; by laying his head on his

hand and shaking his left leg … at which time I think it would have

been justifiable homicide to slay him … I have never seen that

group sleeping; smoking; and expectorating round their brazier; but

I have sincerely desired that something might happen to the

charcoal smouldering therein; which would cause the immediate

suffocation of the whole of the noble strangers。



There is at present a party of Zulu Kaffirs exhibiting at the St。

George's Gallery; Hyde Park Corner; London。  These noble savages

are represented in a most agreeable manner; they are seen in an

elegant theatre; fitted with appropriate scenery of great beauty;

a

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