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minute。



Body　found？　　Well。　　Waterloo　didn't　rightly　recollect　about　that。

They　were　compositors；　THEY　were。



He　considered　it　astonishing　how　quick　people　were！　　Why；　there　was

a　cab　came　up　one　Boxing…night；　with　a　young　woman　in　it；　who

looked；　according　to　Waterloo's　opinion　of　her；　a　little　the　worse

for　liquor；　very　handsome　she　was　too　…　very　handsome。　　She　stopped

the　cab　at　the　gate；　and　said　she'd　pay　the　cabman　then；　which　she

did；　though　there　was　a　little　hankering　about　the　fare；　because　at

first　she　didn't　seem　quite　to　know　where　she　wanted　to　be　drove

to。　　However；　she　paid　the　man；　and　the　toll　too；　and　looking

Waterloo　in　the　face　（he　thought　she　knew　him；　don't　you　see！）

said；　'I'll　finish　it　somehow！'　　Well；　the　cab　went　off；　leaving

Waterloo　a　little　doubtful　in　his　mind；　and　while　it　was　going　on

at　full　speed　the　young　woman　jumped　out；　never　fell；　hardly

staggered；　ran　along　the　bridge　pavement　a　little　way；　passing

several　people；　and　jumped　over　from　the　second　opening。　　At　the

inquest　it　was　giv'　in　evidence　that　she　had　been　quarrelling　at

the　Hero　of　Waterloo；　and　it　was　brought　in　jealousy。　　（One　of　the

results　of　Waterloo's　experience　was；　that　there　was　a　deal　of

jealousy　about。）



'Do　we　ever　get　madmen？'　said　Waterloo；　in　answer　to　an　inquiry　of

mine。　　'Well；　we　DO　get　madmen。　　Yes；　we　have　had　one　or　two；

escaped　from　'Sylums；　I　suppose。　　One　hadn't　a　halfpenny；　and

because　I　wouldn't　let　him　through；　he　went　back　a　little　way；

stooped　down；　took　a　run；　and　butted　at　the　hatch　like　a　ram。　　He

smashed　his　hat　rarely；　but　his　head　didn't　seem　no　worse　…　in　my

opinion　on　account　of　his　being　wrong　in　it　afore。　　Sometimes

people　haven't　got　a　halfpenny。　　If　they　are　really　tired　and　poor

we　give　'em　one　and　let　'em　through。　　Other　people　will　leave

things　…　pocket…handkerchiefs　mostly。　　I　HAVE　taken　cravats　and

gloves；　pocket…knives；　tooth…picks；　studs；　shirt…pins；　rings

（generally　from　young　gents；　early　in　the　morning）；　but

handkerchiefs　is　the　general　thing。'



'Regular　customers？'　said　Waterloo。　　'Lord；　yes！　　We　have　regular

customers。　　One；　such　a　worn…out；　used…up　old　file　as　you　can

scarcely　picter；　comes　from　the　Surrey　side　as　regular　as　ten

o'clock　at　night　comes；　and　goes　over；　I　think；　to　some　flash　house

on　the　Middlesex　side。　　He　comes　back；　he　does；　as　reg'lar　as　the

clock　strikes　three　in　the　morning；　and　then　can　hardly　drag　one　of

his　old　legs　after　the　other。　　He　always　turns　down　the　water…

stairs；　comes　up　again；　and　then　goes　on　down　the　Waterloo　Road。

He　always　does　the　same　thing；　and　never　varies　a　minute。　　Does　it

every　night　…　even　Sundays。'



I　asked　Waterloo　if　he　had　given　his　mind　to　the　possibility　of

this　particular　customer　going　down　the　water…stairs　at　three

o'clock　some　morning；　and　never　coming　up　again？　　He　didn't　think

THAT　of　him；　he　replied。　　In　fact；　it　was　Waterloo's　opinion；

founded　on　his　observation　of　that　file；　that　he　know'd　a　trick

worth　two　of　it。



'There's　another　queer　old　customer；'　said　Waterloo；　'comes　over；

as　punctual　as　the　almanack；　at　eleven　o'clock　on　the　sixth　of

January；　at　eleven　o'clock　on　the　fifth　of　April；　at　eleven　o'clock

on　the　sixth　of　July；　at　eleven　o'clock　on　the　tenth　of　October。

Drives　a　shaggy　little；　rough　pony；　in　a　sort　of　a　rattle…trap　arm…

chair　sort　of　a　thing。　　White　hair　he　has；　and　white　whiskers；　and

muffles　himself　up　with　all　manner　of　shawls。　　He　comes　back　again

the　same　afternoon；　and　we　never　see　more　of　him　for　three　months。

He　is　a　captain　in　the　navy　…　retired　…　wery　old　…　wery　odd　…　and

served　with　Lord　Nelson。　　He　is　particular　about　drawing　his

pension　at　Somerset　House　afore　the　clock　strikes　twelve　every

quarter。　　I　HAVE　heerd　say　that　he　thinks　it　wouldn't　be　according

to　the　Act　of　Parliament；　if　he　didn't　draw　it　afore　twelve。'



Having　related　these　anecdotes　in　a　natural　manner；　which　was　the

best　warranty　in　the　world　for　their　genuine　nature；　our　friend

Waterloo　was　sinking　deep　into　his　shawl　again；　as　having　exhausted

his　communicative　powers　and　taken　in　enough　east　wind；　when　my

other　friend　Pea　in　a　moment　brought　him　to　the　surface　by　asking

whether　he　had　not　been　occasionally　the　subject　of　assault　and

battery　in　the　execution　of　his　duty？　　Waterloo　recovering　his

spirits；　instantly　dashed　into　a　new　branch　of　his　subject。　　We

learnt　how　'both　these　teeth'　…　here　he　pointed　to　the　places　where

two　front　teeth　were　not　…　were　knocked　out　by　an　ugly　customer　who

one　night　made　a　dash　at　him　（Waterloo）　while　his　（the　ugly

customer's）　pal　and　coadjutor　made　a　dash　at　the　toll…taking　apron

where　the　money…pockets　were；　how　Waterloo；　letting　the　teeth　go

（to　Blazes；　he　observed　indefinitely）；　grappled　with　the　apron…

seizer；　permitting　the　ugly　one　to　run　away；　and　how　he　saved　the

bank；　and　captured　his　man；　and　consigned　him　to　fine　and

imprisonment。　　Also　how；　on　another　night；　'a　Cove'　laid　hold　of

Waterloo；　then　presiding　at　the　horse…gate　of　his　bridge；　and　threw

him　unceremoniously　over　his　knee；　having　first　cut　his　head　open

with　his　whip。　　How　Waterloo　'got　right；'　and　started　after　the

Cove　all　down　the　Waterloo　Road；　through　Stamford　Street；　and　round

to　the　foot　of　Blackfriars　Bridge；　where　the　Cove　'cut　into'　a

public…house。　　How　Waterloo　cut　in　too；　but　how　an　aider　and

abettor　of　the　Cove's；　who　happened　to　be　taking　a　promiscuous

drain　at　the　bar；　stopped　Waterloo；　and　the　Cove　cut　out　again；　ran

across　the　road　down　Holland　Street；　and　where　not；　and　into　a

beer…shop。　　How　Waterloo　breaking　away　from　his　detainer　was　close

upon　the　Cove's　heels；　attended　by　no　end　of　people；　who；　seeing

him　running　with　the　blood　streaming　down　his　face；　thought

something　worse　was　'up；'　and　roared　Fire！　and　Murder！　on　the

hopeful　chance　of　the　matter　in　hand　being　one　or　both。　　How　the

Cove　was　ignominiously　taken；　in　a　shed　where　he　had　run　to　hide；

and　how　at　the　Police　Court　they　at　first　wanted　to　make　a　sessions

job　of　it；　but　eventually　Waterloo　was　allowed　to　be　'spoke　to；'

and　the　Cove　made　it　square　with　Waterloo　by　paying　his　doctor's

bill　（W。　was　laid　up　for　a　week）　and　giving　him　'Three；　ten。'

Likewise　we　learnt　what　we　had　faintly　suspected　before；　that　your

sporting　amateur　on　the　Derby　day；　albeit　a　captain；　can　be　…　'if

he　be；'　as　Captain　Bobadil　observes；　'so　generously　minded'　…

anything　but　a　man　of　honour　and　a　gentleman；　not　sufficiently

gratifying　his　nice　sense　of　humour　by　the　witty　scattering　of

flour　and　rotten　eggs　on　obtuse　civilians；　but　requiring　the

further　excitement　of　'bilking　the　toll；'　and　'Pitching　into'

Waterloo；　and　'cutting　him　about　the　head　with　his　whip；'　finally

being；　when　called　upon　to　answer　for　the　assault；　what　Waterloo

described　as　'Minus；'　or；　as　I　humbly　conceived　it；　not　to　be

found。　　Likewise　did　Waterloo　inform　us；　in　reply　to　my　inquiries；

admiringly　and　deferentially　preferred　through　my　friend　Pea；　that

the　takings　at　the　Bridge　had　more　than　doubled　in　amount；　since

the　reduction　of　the　toll　one　half。　　And　being　asked　if　the

aforesaid　takings　included　much　bad　money；　Waterloo　responded；　with

a　look　far　deeper　than　the　deepest　part　of　the　river；　HE　should

think　not！　…　and　so　retired　into　his　shawl　for　the　rest　of　the

night。



Then　did　Pea　and　I　once　more　embark　in　our　four…oared　galley；　and

glide　swiftly　down　the　river　with　the　tide。　　And　while　the　shrewd

East　rasped　and　notched　us；　as　with　jagged　razors；　did　my　friend

Pea　impart　to　me　confidences　of　interest　relating　to　the　Thames

Police；　we；　between　whiles；　finding　'duty　boats'　hanging　in　dark

corners　under　banks；　like　weeds　…　our　own　was　a　'supervision　boat'

…　and　they；　as　they　reported　'all　right！'　flashing　their　hidden

light　on　us；　and　we　flashing　ours　on　them。　　These　duty　boats　had

one　sitter　in　each：　an　Inspector：　and　were　rowed　'Ran…dan；'　which　…

for　the　information　of　those　who　never　graduated；　as　I　was　once

proud　to　do；　under　a　fireman…waterman　and　winner　of　Kean's　Prize

Wherry：　who；　in　the　course　of　his　tuition；　took　hundreds　of　gallons

of　rum　and　egg　（at　my　expense）　at　the　various　houses　of　note　above

and　below　bridge；　not　by　any　means　because　he　liked　it；　but　to　cure

a　weakness　in　his　liver；　for　which　the　faculty　had　particularly

recommended　it　…　may　be　explained　as　rowed　by　three　men；　two

pulling　an　oar　each；　and　one　a　pair　of　sculls。



Thus；　floating　down　our　black　highway；　sullenly　frowned　upon　by　the

knitted　brows　of　Blackfriars；　Southwark；　and　London；　each　in　his

lowering　turn；　I　was　shown　by　my　friend　Pea　that　there　are；　in　the

Thames　Police　Force；　whose　district　extends　from　Battersea　to

Barking　Creek；　ninety…eight　men；　eight　duty　boats；　and　two

supervision　boats；　and　that　these　go　about　so　silently；　and　lie　in

wait　in　such　dark　places；　and　so　seem　to　be　nowhere；　and　so　may　be

anywhere；　that　they　have　gradually　become　a　police　of　prevention；

keeping　the　river　almost　clear　of　any　great　crimes；　even　while　the

increased　vigilance　on　shore　has　made　it　much　harder　than　of　yore

to　live　by　'thieving'　in　the　streets。　　And　as　to　the　various　kinds

of　water…thieves；　said　my　friend　Pea；　there　were　the　Tier…rangers；

who　silently　dropped　alongside　the　tiers　of　shipping　in　the　Pool；

by　night；　and　who；　going　to　the　companion…head；　listened　for　two

snores　…　snore　number　one；　the　skipper's；　snore　number　two；　the

mate's　…　mates　and　skippers　always　snoring　great　guns；　and　being

dead　sure　to　be　hard　at　it　if　they　had　turned　in　and　were　asleep。

Hearing　the　double　fire；　down　went　the　Rangers　into　the　skippers'

cabins；　groped　for　the　skippers'　inexpressibles；　which　it　was　the

custom　of　those　gentlemen　to　shake　off；　watch；　money；　braces；

boots；　and　all　together；　on　the　floor；　and　therewith　made　off　as

silently　as　might　be。　　Then　there　were　the　Lumpers；　or　labourers

employed　to　unload　vessels。　　They　wore　loose　canv