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honourable　friend　says）　that　he　should　waste　another　argument　upon

the　man　who　professes　that　he　cannot　understand　it！　　'I　do　NOT；

gentlemen；'　said　our　honourable　friend；　with　indignant　emphasis　and

amid　great　cheering；　on　one　such　public　occasion。　　'I　do　NOT；

gentlemen；　I　am　free　to　confess；　envy　the　feelings　of　that　man

whose　mind　is　so　constituted　as　that　he　can　hold　such　language　to

me；　and　yet　lay　his　head　upon　his　pillow；　claiming　to　be　a　native

of　that　land；





Whose　march　is　o'er　the　mountain…wave；

Whose　home　is　on　the　deep！





（Vehement　cheering；　and　man　expelled。）



When　our　honourable　friend　issued　his　preliminary　address　to　the

constituent　body　of　Verbosity　on　the　occasion　of　one　particular

glorious　triumph；　it　was　supposed　by　some　of　his　enemies；　that　even

he　would　be　placed　in　a　situation　of　difficulty　by　the　following

comparatively　trifling　conjunction　of　circumstances。　　The　dozen

noblemen　and　gentlemen　whom　our　honourable　friend　supported；　had

'come　in；'　expressly　to　do　a　certain　thing。　　Now；　four　of　the　dozen

said；　at　a　certain　place；　that　they　didn't　mean　to　do　that　thing；

and　had　never　meant　to　do　it；　another　four　of　the　dozen　said；　at

another　certain　place；　that　they　did　mean　to　do　that　thing；　and　had

always　meant　to　do　it；　two　of　the　remaining　four　said；　at　two　other

certain　places；　that　they　meant　to　do　half　of　that　thing　（but

differed　about　which　half）；　and　to　do　a　variety　of　nameless　wonders

instead　of　the　other　half；　and　one　of　the　remaining　two　declared

that　the　thing　itself　was　dead　and　buried；　while　the　other　as

strenuously　protested　that　it　was　alive　and　kicking。　　It　was

admitted　that　the　parliamentary　genius　of　our　honourable　friend

would　be　quite　able　to　reconcile　such　small　discrepancies　as　these；

but；　there　remained　the　additional　difficulty　that　each　of　the

twelve　made　entirely　different　statements　at　different　places；　and

that　all　the　twelve　called　everything　visible　and　invisible；　sacred

and　profane；　to　witness；　that　they　were　a　perfectly　impregnable

phalanx　of　unanimity。　　This；　it　was　apprehended；　would　be　a

stumbling…block　to　our　honourable　friend。



The　difficulty　came　before　our　honourable　friend；　in　this　way。　　He

went　down　to　Verbosity　to　meet　his　free　and　independent

constituents；　and　to　render　an　account　（as　he　informed　them　in　the

local　papers）　of　the　trust　they　had　confided　to　his　hands　…　that

trust　which　it　was　one　of　the　proudest　privileges　of　an　Englishman

to　possess　…　that　trust　which　it　was　the　proudest　privilege　of　an

Englishman　to　hold。　　It　may　be　mentioned　as　a　proof　of　the　great

general　interest　attaching　to　the　contest；　that　a　Lunatic　whom

nobody　employed　or　knew；　went　down　to　Verbosity　with　several

thousand　pounds　in　gold；　determined　to　give　the　whole　away　…　which

he　actually　did；　and　that　all　the　publicans　opened　their　houses　for

nothing。　　Likewise；　several　fighting　men；　and　a　patriotic　group　of

burglars　sportively　armed　with　life…preservers；　proceeded　（in

barouches　and　very　drunk）　to　the　scene　of　action　at　their　own

expense；　these　children　of　nature　having　conceived　a　warm

attachment　to　our　honourable　friend；　and　intending；　in　their

artless　manner；　to　testify　it　by　knocking　the　voters　in　the

opposite　interest　on　the　head。



Our　honourable　friend　being　come　into　the　presence　of　his

constituents；　and　having　professed　with　great　suavity　that　he　was

delighted　to　see　his　good　friend　Tipkisson　there；　in　his　working…

dress　…　his　good　friend　Tipkisson　being　an　inveterate　saddler；　who

always　opposes　him；　and　for　whom　he　has　a　mortal　hatred　…　made　them

a　brisk；　ginger…beery　sort　of　speech；　in　which　he　showed　them　how

the　dozen　noblemen　and　gentlemen　had　（in　exactly　ten　days　from

their　coming　in）　exercised　a　surprisingly　beneficial　effect　on　the

whole　financial　condition　of　Europe；　had　altered　the　state　of　the

exports　and　imports　for　the　current　half…year；　had　prevented　the

drain　of　gold；　had　made　all　that　matter　right　about　the　glut　of　the

raw　material；　and　had　restored　all　sorts　of　balances　with　which　the

superseded　noblemen　and　gentlemen　had　played　the　deuce　…　and　all

this；　with　wheat　at　so　much　a　quarter；　gold　at　so　much　an　ounce；

and　the　Bank　of　England　discounting　good　bills　at　so　much　per

cent。！　　He　might　be　asked；　he　observed　in　a　peroration　of　great

power；　what　were　his　principles？　　His　principles　were　what　they

always　had　been。　　His　principles　were　written　in　the　countenances

of　the　lion　and　unicorn；　were　stamped　indelibly　upon　the　royal

shield　which　those　grand　animals　supported；　and　upon　the　free　words

of　fire　which　that　shield　bore。　　His　principles　were；　Britannia　and

her　sea…king　trident！　　His　principles　were；　commercial　prosperity

co…existently　with　perfect　and　profound　agricultural　contentment；

but　short　of　this　he　would　never　stop。　　His　principles　were；　these；

…　with　the　addition　of　his　colours　nailed　to　the　mast；　every　man's

heart　in　the　right　place；　every　man's　eye　open；　every　man's　hand

ready；　every　man's　mind　on　the　alert。　　His　principles　were　these；

concurrently　with　a　general　revision　of　something　…　speaking

generally　…　and　a　possible　readjustment　of　something　else；　not　to

be　mentioned　more　particularly。　　His　principles；　to　sum　up　all　in　a

word；　were；　Hearths　and　Altars；　Labour　and　Capital；　Crown　and

Sceptre；　Elephant　and　Castle。　　And　now；　if　his　good　friend

Tipkisson　required　any　further　explanation　from　him；　he　（our

honourable　friend）　was　there；　willing　and　ready　to　give　it。



Tipkisson；　who　all　this　time　had　stood　conspicuous　in　the　crowd；

with　his　arms　folded　and　his　eyes　intently　fastened　on　our

honourable　friend：　Tipkisson；　who　throughout　our　honourable

friend's　address　had　not　relaxed　a　muscle　of　his　visage；　but　had

stood　there；　wholly　unaffected　by　the　torrent　of　eloquence：　an

object　of　contempt　and　scorn　to　mankind　（by　which　we　mean；　of

course；　to　the　supporters　of　our　honourable　friend）；　Tipkisson　now

said　that　he　was　a　plain　man　（Cries　of　'You　are　indeed！'）；　and　that

what　he　wanted　to　know　was；　what　our　honourable　friend　and　the

dozen　noblemen　and　gentlemen　were　driving　at？



Our　honourable　friend　immediately　replied；　'At　the　illimitable

perspective。'



It　was　considered　by　the　whole　assembly　that　this　happy　statement

of　our　honourable　friend's　political　views　ought；　immediately；　to

have　settled　Tipkisson's　business　and　covered　him　with　confusion；

but；　that　implacable　person；　regardless　of　the　execrations　that

were　heaped　upon　him　from　all　sides　（by　which　we　mean；　of　course；

from　our　honourable　friend's　side）；　persisted　in　retaining　an

unmoved　countenance；　and　obstinately　retorted　that　if　our

honourable　friend　meant　that；　he　wished　to　know　what　THAT　meant？



It　was　in　repelling　this　most　objectionable　and　indecent

opposition；　that　our　honourable　friend　displayed　his　highest

qualifications　for　the　representation　of　Verbosity。　　His　warmest

supporters　present；　and　those　who　were　best　acquainted　with　his

generalship；　supposed　that　the　moment　was　come　when　he　would　fall

back　upon　the　sacred　bulwarks　of　our　nationality。　　No　such　thing。

He　replied　thus：　'My　good　friend　Tipkisson；　gentlemen；　wishes　to

know　what　I　mean　when　he　asks　me　what　we　are　driving　at；　and　when　I

candidly　tell　him；　at　the　illimitable　perspective；　he　wishes　（if　I

understand　him）　to　know　what　I　mean？'　…　'I　do！'　says　Tipkisson；

amid　cries　of　'Shame'　and　'Down　with　him。'　　'Gentlemen；'　says　our

honourable　friend；　'I　will　indulge　my　good　friend　Tipkisson；　by

telling　him；　both　what　I　mean　and　what　I　don't　mean。　　（Cheers　and

cries　of　'Give　it　him！'）　　Be　it　known　to　him　then；　and　to　all　whom

it　may　concern；　that　I　do　mean　altars；　hearths；　and　homes；　and　that

I　don't　mean　mosques　and　Mohammedanism！'　　The　effect　of　this　home…

thrust　was　terrific。　　Tipkisson　（who　is　a　Baptist）　was　hooted　down

and　hustled　out；　and　has　ever　since　been　regarded　as　a　Turkish

Renegade　who　contemplates　an　early　pilgrimage　to　Mecca。　　Nor　was　he

the　only　discomfited　man。　　The　charge；　while　it　stuck　to　him；　was

magically　transferred　to　our　honourable　friend's　opponent；　who　was

represented　in　an　immense　variety　of　placards　as　a　firm　believer　in

Mahomet；　and　the　men　of　Verbosity　were　asked　to　choose　between　our

honourable　friend　and　the　Bible；　and　our　honourable　friend's

opponent　and　the　Koran。　　They　decided　for　our　honourable　friend；

and　rallied　round　the　illimitable　perspective。



It　has　been　claimed　for　our　honourable　friend；　with　much　appearance

of　reason；　that　he　was　the　first　to　bend　sacred　matters　to

electioneering　tactics。　　However　this　may　be；　the　fine　precedent

was　undoubtedly　set　in　a　Verbosity　election：　and　it　is　certain　that

our　honourable　friend　（who　was　a　disciple　of　Brahma　in　his　youth；

and　was　a　Buddhist　when　we　had　the　honour　of　travelling　with　him　a

few　years　ago）　always　professes　in　public　more　anxiety　than　the

whole　Bench　of　Bishops；　regarding　the　theological　and　doxological

opinions　of　every　man；　woman；　and　child；　in　the　United　Kingdom。



As　we　began　by　saying　that　our　honourable　friend　has　got　in　again

at　this　last　election；　and　that　we　are　delighted　to　find　that　he

has　got　in；　so　we　will　conclude。　　Our　honourable　friend　cannot　come

in　for　Verbosity　too　often。　　It　is　a　good　sign；　it　is　a　great

example。　　It　is　to　men　like　our　honourable　friend；　and　to　contests

like　those　from　which　he　comes　triumphant；　that　we　are　mainly

indebted　for　that　ready　interest　in　politics；　that　fresh　enthusiasm

in　the　discharge　of　the　duties　of　citizenship；　that　ardent　desire

to　rush　to　the　poll；　at　present　so　manifest　throughout　England。

When　the　contest　lies　（as　it　sometimes　does）　between　two　such　men

as　our　honourable　friend；　it　stimulates　the　finest　emotions　of　our

nature；　and　awakens　the　highest　admiration　of　which　our　heads　and

hearts　are　capable。



It　is　not　too　much　to　predict　that　our　honourable　friend　will　be

always　at　his　post　in　the　ensui