my discovery of england-第6部分

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the　government　whether　they　considered　Shakespere　or　Moliere　the　greater　dramatic　artist。　The　government　answered　that　ministers　were　taking　this　under　their　earnest　consideration　and　that　a　report　would　be　submitted　to　Parliament。　Another　member　asked　the　government　if　they　knew　who　won　the　Queen's　Plate　this　season　at　Toronto。　They　did；in　fact　this　member　got　in　wrong；　as　this　is　the　very　thing　that　the　government　do　know。　Towards　the　close　of　the　evening　a　member　rose　and　asked　the　government　if　they　knew　what　time　it　was。　The　Speaker；　however；　ruled　this　question　out　of　order　on　the　ground　that　it　had　been　answered　before。

The　Parliament　Buildings　are　so　vast　that　it　is　not　possible　to　state　with　certainty　what　they　do；　or　do　not；　contain。　But　it　is　generally　said　that　somewhere　in　the　building　is　the　House　of　Lords。　When　they　meet　they　are　said　to　come　together　very　quietly　shortly　before　the　dinner　hour；　take　a　glass　of　dry　sherry　and　a　biscuit　（they　are　all　abstemious　men）；　reject　whatever　bills　may　be　before　them　at　the　moment；　take　another　dry　sherry　and　then　adjourn　for　two　years。

The　public　are　no　longer　allowed　unrestricted　access　to　the　Houses　of　Parliament；　its　approaches　are　now　strictly　guarded　by　policemen。　In　order　to　obtain　admission　it　is　necessary　either　to　（A）　communicate　in　writing　with　the　Speaker　of　the　House；　enclosing　certificates　of　naturalization　and　proof　of　identity；　or　（B）　give　the　policeman　five　shillings。　Method　B　is　the　one　usually　adopted。　On　great　nights；　however；　when　the　House　of　Commons　is　sitting　and　is　about　to　do　something　important；　such　as　ratifying　a　Home　Rule　Bill　or　cheering；　or　welcoming　a　new　lady　member；　it　is　not　possible　to　enter　by　merely　bribing　the　policeman　with　five　shillings；　it　takes　a　pound。　The　English　people　complain　bitterly　of　the　rich　Americans　who　have　in　this　way　corrupted　the　London　public。　Before　they　were　corrupted　they　would　do　anything　for　sixpence。

This　peculiar　vein　of　corruption　by　the　Americans　runs　like　a　thread；　I　may　say；　through　all　the　texture　of　English　life。　Among　those　who　have　been　principally　exposed　to　it　are　the　servants；especially　butlers　and　chauffeurs；　hotel　porters；　bell…boys；　railway　porters　and　guards；　all　taxi…drivers；　pew…openers；　curates；　bishops；　and　a　large　part　of　the　peerage。

The　terrible　ravages　that　have　been　made　by　the　Americans　on　English　morality　are　witnessed　on　every　hand。　Whole　classes　of　society　are　hopelessly　damaged。　I　have　it　in　the　evidence　of　the　English　themselves　and　there　seems　to　be　no　doubt　of　the　fact。　Till　the　Americans　came　to　England　the　people　were　an　honest；　law…abiding　race；　respecting　their　superiors　and　despising　those　below　them。　They　had　never　been　corrupted　by　money　and　their　employers　extended　to　them　in　this　regard　their　tenderest　solicitude。　　Then　the　Americans　came。　Servants　ceased　to　be　what　they　were；　butlers　were　hopelessly　damaged；　hotel　porters　became　a　wreck；　taxi…drivers　turned　out　thieves；　curates　could　no　longer　be　trusted　to　handle　money；　peers　sold　their　daughters　at　a　million　dollars　a　piece　or　three　for　two。　In　fact　the　whole　kingdom　began　to　deteriorate　till　it　got　where　it　is　now。　At　present　after　a　rich　American　has　stayed　in　any　English　country　house；　its　owners　find　that　they　can　do　nothing　with　the　butler；　a　wildness　has　come　over　the　man。　There　is　a　restlessness　in　his　demeanour　and　a　strange　wistful　look　in　his　eye　as　if　seeking　for　something。　In　many　cases；　so　I　understand；　after　an　American　has　stayed　in　a　country　house　the　butler　goes　insane。　He　is　found　in　his　pantry　counting　over　the　sixpence　given　to　him　by　a　Duke；　and　laughing　to　himself。　He　has　to　be　taken　in　charge　by　the　police。　With　him　generally　go　the　chauffeur；　whose　mind　has　broken　down　from　driving　a　rich　American　twenty　miles；　and　the　gardener；　who　is　found　tearing　up　raspberry　bushes　by　the　roots　to　see　if　there　is　any　money　under　them；　and　the　local　curate　whose　brain　has　collapsed　or　expanded；　I　forget　which；　when　a　rich　American　gave　him　fifty　dollars　for　his　soup　kitchen。

There　are；　it　is　true；　a　few　classes　that　have　escaped　this　contagion；　shepherds　living　in　the　hills；　drovers；　sailors；　fishermen　and　such　like。　I　remember　the　first　time　I　went　into　the　English　country…side　being　struck　with　the　clean；　honest　look　in　the　people's　faces。　I　realised　exactly　where　they　got　it：　they　had　never　seen　any　Americans。　I　remember　speaking　to　an　aged　peasant　down　in　Somerset。　〃Have　you　ever　seen　any　Americans？〃　〃Nah；〃　he　said；　〃uz　eeard　a　mowt　o'　'em；　zir；　but　uz　zeen　nowt　o'　'em。〃　It　was　clear　that　the　noble　fellow　was　quite　undamaged　by　American　contact。

Now　the　odd　thing　about　this　corruption　is　that　exactly　the　same　idea　is　held　on　the　other　side　of　the　water。　It　is　a　known　fact　that　if　a　young　English　Lord　comes　to　an　American　town　he　puts　it　to　the　bad　in　one　week。　Socially　the　whole　place　goes　to　pieces。　　Girls　whose　parents　are　in　the　hardware　business　and　who　used　to　call　their　father　〃pop〃　begin　to　talk　of　precedence　and　whether　a　Duchess　Dowager　goes　in　to　dinner　ahead　of　or　behind　a　countess　scavenger。　After　the　young　Lord　has　attended　two　dances　and　one　tea…social　in　the　Methodist　Church　Sunday　School　Building　（Adults　25　cents；　children　10　centsall　welcome。）　there　is　nothing　for　the　young　men　of　the　town　to　do　except　to　drive　him　out　or　go　further　west。

One　can　hardly　wonder　then　that　this　general　corruption　has　extended　even　to　the　policemen　who　guard　the　Houses　of　Parliament。　On　the　other　hand　this　vein　of　corruption　has　not　extended　to　English　politics。　Unlike　ours；　English　politics；one　hears　it　on　every　hand；are　pure。　Ours　unfortunately　are　known　to　be　not　so。　The　difference　seems　to　be　that　our　politicians　will　do　anything　for　money　and　the　English　politicians　won't；　they　just　take　the　money　and　won't　do　a　thing　for　it。

Somehow　there　always　seems　to　be　a　peculiar　interest　about　English　political　questions　that　we　don't　find　elsewhere。　At　home　in　Canada　our　politics　turn　on　such　things　as　how　much　money　the　Canadian　National　Railways　lose　as　compared　with　how　much　they　could　lose　if　they　really　tried；　on　whether　the　Grain　Growers　of　Manitoba　should　be　allowed　to　import　ploughs　without　paying　a　duty　or　to　pay　a　duty　without　importing　the　ploughs。　Our　members　at　Ottawa　discuss　such　things　as　highway　subsidies；　dry　farming；　the　Bank　Act；　and　the　tariff　on　hardware。　These　things　leave　me　absolutely　cold。　To　be　quite　candid　there　is　something　terribly　plebeian　about　them。　In　short；　our　politics　are　what　we　call　in　French　〃peuple。〃

But　when　one　turns　to　England；　what　a　striking　difference！　The　English；　with　the　whole　huge　British　Empire　to　fish　in　and　the　European　system　to　draw　upon；　can　always　dig　up　some　kind　of　political　topic　of　discussion　that　has　a　real　charm　about　it。　One　month　you　find　English　politics　turning　on　the　Oasis　of　Merv　and　the　next　on　the　hinterland　of　Albania；　or　a　member　rises　in　the　Commons　with　a　little　bit　of　paper　in　his　hand　and　desires　to　ask　the　foreign　secretary　if　he　is　aware　that　the　Ahkoond　of　Swat　is　dead。　The　foreign　secretary　states　that　the　government　have　no　information　other　than　that　the　Ahkoond　was　dead　a　month　ago。　There　is　a　distinct　sensation　in　the　House　at　the　realisation　that　the　Ahkoond　has　been　dead　a　month　without　the　House　having　known　that　he　was　alive。　The　sensation　is　conveyed　to　the　Press　and　the　afternoon　papers　appear　with　large　headings；　THE　AHKOOND　OF　SWAT　IS　DEAD。　The　public　who　have　never　heard　of　the　Ahkoond　bare　their　heads　in　a　moment　in　a　pause　to　pray　for　the　Ahkoond's　soul。　Then　the　cables　take　up　the　refrain　and　word　is　flashed　all　over　the　world；　The　Ahkoond　of　Swat　is　Dead。

There　was　a　Canadian　journalist　and　poet　once　who　was　so　impressed　with　the　news　that　the　Ahkoond　was　dead；　so　bowed　down　with　regret　that　he　had　never　known　the　Ahkoond　while　alive；　that　he　forthwith　wrote　a　poem　in　memory　of　The　Ahkoond　of　Swat。　I　have　always　thought　that　the　reason　of　the　wide　admiration　that　Lannigan's　verses　received　was　not　merely　because　of　the　brilliant　wit　that　is　in　them　but　because　in　a　wider　sense　they　typify　so　beautifully　the　scope　of　English　politics。　The　death　of　the　Ahkoond　of　Swat；　and　whether　Great　Britain　should　support　as　his　successor　Mustalpha　El　Djin　or　Kamu　Flaj；there　is　something　worth　talking　of　over　an　afternoon　tea　table。　But　suppose　that　the　whole　of　the　Manitoba　Grain　Growers　were　to　die。　What　could　one　say　about　it？　They'd　be　dead；　that's　all。

So　it　is　that　people　all　over　the　world　turn　to　English　politics　with　interest。　What　more　delightful　than　to　open　an　atlas；　find　out　where　the　new　kingdom　of　Hejaz　is；　and　then　violently　support　the　British　claim　to　a　protectorate　over　it。　Over　in　America　we　don't　understand　this　sort　of　thing。　There　is　naturally　little　chance　to　do　so　and　we　don't　know　how　to　use　it　when　it　comes。　I　remember　that　when　a　chance　did　come　in　connection　with　the　great　Venezuela　dispute　over　the　ownership　of　the　jungles　and　mud…flats　of　British　Guiana；　the　American　papers　at　once　inserted　headings；　WHERE　IS　THE　ESSIQUIBO　RIVER？　That　spoiled　the　whole　thing。　If　you　admit　that　you　don't　know　where　a　place　is；　then　the　bottom　is　knocked　out　of　all　discussion。　But　if　you　pretend　that　you　do；　then　you　are　all　right。　Mr。　Lloyd　George　is　said　to　have　caused　great　amusement　at　the　Versailles　Conference　by　admitting　that　he　hadn't　known　where　Teschen　was。　So　at　least　it　was　reported　in　the　papers；　and　for　all　I　know　it　might　even　have　been　true。　But　the　fun　that　he　raised　was　not　really　half　what　could　have　been　raised。　I　have　it　on　good　authority　that　two　of　the　American　delegates　hadn't　known　where　Austria　Proper　was　and　thought　that　Unredeemed　Italy　was　on　the　East　side　of　New　York；　while　the　Chinese　Delegate　thought　that　the　Cameroons　were　part　of　Scotland。　But　it　is　these　little　geographic　niceties　that　lend　a　charm　to　European　politics　that　ours　lack　forever。

I　don't　mean　to　say　the　English　politics　always　turn　on　romantic　places　or　on　small　questions。　They　don't。　They　often　include　questions　of　the　largest　order。　But　when　the　English　introduce　a　really　large　question　as　the　basis　of　their　politics　they　like　to　select　one　that　is　insoluble。　This　guarantees　that　it　will　last。