my discovery of england-第7部分
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sis of their politics they like to select one that is insoluble。 This guarantees that it will last。 Take for example the rights of the Crown as against the people。 That lasted for one hundred years；all the seventeenth century。 In Oklahoma or in Alberta they would have called a convention on the question； settled it in two weeks and spoiled it for further use。 In the same way the Protestant Reformation was used for a hundred years and the Reform Bill for a generation。
At the present time the genius of the English for politics has selected as their insoluble political question the topic of the German indemnity。 The essence of the problem as I understand it may be stated as follows：
It was definitely settled by the Conference at Versailles that Germany is to pay the Allies 3；912；486；782；421 marks。 I think that is the correct figure； though of course I am speaking only from memory。 At any rate； the correct figure is within a hundred billion marks of the above。
The sum to be paid was not reached without a great deal of discussion。 Monsieur Briand； the French Minister； is reported to have thrown out the figure 4；281；390；687；471。 But Mr。 Lloyd George would not pick it up。 Nor do I blame him unless he had a basket to pick it up with。
Lloyd George's point of view was that the Germans could very properly pay a limited amount such as 3；912；486；782；421 marks； but it was not feasible to put on them a burden of 4；281；390；687；471 marks。
By the way； if any one at this point doubts the accuracy of the figures just given； all he has to do is to take the amount of the indemnity as stated in gold marks and then multiply it by the present value of the mark and he will find to his chagrin that the figures are correct。 If he is still not satisfied I refer him to a book of Logarithms。 If he is not satisfied with that I refer him to any work on conic sections and if not convinced even then I refer him so far that he will never come back。
The indemnity being thus fixed； the next question is as to the method of collecting it。 In the first place there is no intention of allowing the Germans to pay in actual cash。 If they do this they will merely inflate the English beyond what is bearable。 England has been inflated now for eight years and has had enough of it。
In the second place； it is understood that it will not do to allow the Germans to offer 4；218； 390；687；471 marks' worth of coal。 It is more than the country needs。
What is more； if the English want coal they propose to buy it in an ordinary decent way from a Christian coal…dealer in their own country。 They do not purpose to ruin their own coal industry for the sake of building up the prosperity of the German nation。
What I say of coal is applied with equal force to any offers of food； grain； oil； petroleum； gas； or any other natural product。 Payment in any of these will be sternly refused。 Even now it is all the British farmers can do to live and for some it is more。 Many of them are having to sell off their motors and pianos and to send their sons to college to work。 At the same time； the German producer by depressing the mark further and further is able to work fourteen hours a day。 This argument may not be quite correct but I take it as I find it in the London Press。 Whether I state it correctly or not； it is quite plain that the problem is insoluble。 That is all that is needed in first class politics。
A really good question like the German reparation question will go on for a century。 Undoubtedly in the year 2000 A。D。； a British Chancellor of the Exchequer will still be explaining that the government is fully resolved that Germany shall pay to the last farthing （cheers）： but that ministers have no intention of allowing the German payment to take a form that will undermine British industry （wild applause）： that the German indemnity shall be so paid that without weakening the power of the Germans。 to buy from us it shall increase our power of selling to them。
Such questions last forever。
On the other hand sometimes by sheer carelessness a question gets settled and passes out of politics。 This； so we are given to understand； has happened to the Irish question。 It is settled。 A group of Irish delegates and British ministers got together round a table and settled it。 The settlement has since been celebrated at a demonstration of brotherhood by the Irish Americans of New York with only six casualties。 Henceforth the Irish question passes into history。 There may be some odd fighting along the Ulster border； or a little civil war with perhaps a little revolution every now and then； but as a question the thing is finished。
I must say that I for one am very sorry to think that the Irish question is gone。 We shall miss it greatly。 Debating societies which have flourished on it ever since 1886 will be wrecked for want of it。 Dinner parties will now lose half the sparkle of their conversation。 It will be no longer possible to make use of such good old remarks as； 〃After all the Irish are a gifted people；〃 or； 〃You must remember that fifty per cent of the great English generals were Irish。〃
The settlement turned out to be a very simple affair。 Ireland was merely given dominion status。 What that is； no one knows； but it means that the Irish have now got it and that they sink from the high place that they had in the white light of publicity to the level of the Canadians or the New Zealanders。
Whether it is quite a proper thing to settle trouble by conferring dominion status on it； is open to question。 It is a practice that is bound to spread。 It is rumoured that it is now contemplated to confer dominion status upon the Borough of Poplar and on the Cambridge undergraduates。 It is even understood that at the recent disarmament conference England offered to confer dominion status on the United States。 President Harding would assuredly have accepted it at once but for the protest of Mr。 Briand； who claimed that any such offer must be accompanied by a permission to increase the French fire…brigade by fifty per cent。
It is lamentable； too； that at the very same moment when the Irish question was extinguished； the Naval Question which had lasted for nearly fifty years was absolutely obliterated by disarmament。 Henceforth the alarm of invasion is a thing of the past and the navy practically needless。 Beyond keeping a fleet in the North Sea and one on the Mediterranean； and maintaining a patrol all round the rim of the Pacific Ocean； Britain will cease to be a naval power。 A mere annual expenditure of fifty million pounds sterling will suffice for such thin pretence of naval preparedness as a disarmed nation will have to maintain。
This thing too； came as a surprise； or at least a surprise to the general public who are unaware of the workings of diplomacy。 Those who know about such things were fully aware of what would happen if a whole lot of British sailors and diplomatists and journalists were exposed to the hospitalities of Washington。 The British and Americans are both alike。 You can't drive them or lead them or coerce them； but if you give them a cigar they'll do anything。 The inner history of the conference is only just beginning to be known。 But it is whispered that immediately on his arrival Mr。 Balfour was given a cigar by President Harding。 Mr。 Balfour at once offered to scrap five ships； and invited the entire American cabinet into the British Embassy； where Sir A。 Geddes was rash enough to offer them champagne。
The American delegates immediately offered to scrap ten ships。 Mr。 Balfour； who simply cannot be outdone in international courtesy； saw the ten and raised it to twenty。 President Harding saw the twenty； raised it to thirty； and sent out for more poker chips。
At the close of the play Lord Beatty； who is urbanity itself； offered to scrap Portsmouth Dockyard； and asked if anybody present would like Canada。 President Harding replied with his customary tact that if England wanted the Philippines； he would think it what he would term a residuum of normalcy to give them away。 There is no telling what might have happened had not Mr。 Briand interposed to say that any transfer of the Philippines must be regarded as a signal for a twenty per cent increase in the Boy Scouts of France。 As a tactful conclusion to the matter President Harding raised Mr。 Balfour to the peerage。
As things are； disarmament coming along with the Irish settlement； leaves English politics in a bad way。 The general outlook is too peaceful altogether。 One looks round almost in vain for any of those 〃strained relations〃 which used to be the very basis of English foreign policy。 In only one direction do I see light for English politics； and that is over towards Czecho…Slovakia。 It appears that Czecho…Slovakia owes the British Exchequer fifty million sterling。 I cannot quote the exact figure； but it is either fifty million or fifty billion。 In either case Czecho…Slovakia is unable to pay。 The announcement has just been made by M。 Sgitzch； the new treasurer； that the country is bankrupt or at least that he sees his way to make it so in a week。
It has been at once reported in City circles that there are 〃strained relations〃 between Great Britain and Czecho…Slovakia。 Now what I advise is； that if the relations are strained； keep them so。 England has lost nearly all the strained relations she ever had； let her cherish the few that she still has。 I know that there are other opinions。 The suggestion has been at once made for a 〃round table conference；〃 at which the whole thing can be freely discussed without formal protocols and something like a 〃gentleman's agreement〃 reached。 I say； don't do it。 England is being ruined by these round table conferences。 They are sitting round in Cairo and Calcutta and Capetown； filling all the best hotels and eating out the substance of the taxpayer。
I am told that Lloyd George has offered to go to Czecho…Slovakia。 He should be stopped。 It is said that Professor Keynes has proved that the best way to deal with the debt of Czecho…Slovakia is to send them whatever cash we have left； thereby turning the exchange upside down on them； and forcing them to buy all their Christmas presents in Manchester。
It is wiser not to do anything of the sort。 England should se
