a woman of thirty-第23部分

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l　spectre；　reason；　to　flight。

If　such　are　the　successive　transformations　through　which　a　sentiment；　transient　though　it　be；　passes　in　a　young　man　and　a　woman　of　thirty；　there　comes　a　moment　of　time　when　the　shades　of　difference　blend　into　each　other；　when　all　reasonings　end　in　a　single　and　final　reflection　which　is　lost　and　absorbed　in　the　desire　which　it　confirms。　Then　the　longer　the　resistance；　the　mightier　the　voice　of　love。　And　here　endeth　this　lesson；　or　rather　this　study　made　from　the　/ecorche/；　to　borrow　a　most　graphic　term　from　the　studio；　for　in　this　history　it　is　not　so　much　intended　to　portray　love　as　to　lay　bare　its　mechanism　and　its　dangers。　From　this　moment　every　day　adds　color　to　these　dry　bones；　clothes　them　again　with　living　flesh　and　blood　and　the　charm　of　youth；　and　puts　vitality　into　their　movements；　till　they　glow　once　more　with　the　beauty；　the　persuasive　grace　of　sentiment；　the　loveliness　of　life。



Charles　found　Mme。　d'Aiglemont　absorbed　in　thought；　and　to　his　〃What　is　it？〃　spoken　in　thrilling　tones　grown　persuasive　with　the　heart's　soft　magic；　she　was　careful　not　to　reply。　The　delicious　question　bore　witness　to　the　perfect　unity　of　their　spirits；　and　the　Marquise　felt；　with　a　woman's　wonderful　intuition；　that　to　give　any　expression　to　the　sorrow　in　her　heart　would　be　to　make　an　advance。　If；　even　now；　each　one　of　those　words　was　fraught　with　significance　for　them　both；　in　what　fathomless　depths　might　she　not　plunge　at　the　first　step？　She　read　herself　with　a　clear　and　lucid　glance。　She　was　silent；　and　Vandenesse　followed　her　example。

〃I　am　not　feeling　well；〃　she　said　at　last；　taking　alarm　at　the　pause　fraught　with　such　great　moment　for　them　both；　when　the　language　of　the　eyes　completely　filled　the　blank　left　by　the　helplessness　of　speech。

〃Madame；〃　said　Charles；　and　his　voice　was　tender　but　unsteady　with　strong　feeling；　〃soul　and　body　are　both　dependent　on　each　other。　If　you　were　happy；　you　would　be　young　and　fresh。　Why　do　you　refuse　to　ask　of　love　all　that　love　has　taken　from　you？　You　think　that　your　life　is　over　when　it　is　only　just　beginning。　Trust　yourself　to　a　friend's　care。　It　is　so　sweet　to　be　loved。〃

〃I　am　old　already；〃　she　said；　〃there　is　no　reason　why　I　should　not　continue　to　suffer　as　in　the　past。　And　'one　must　love；'　do　you　say？　Well；　I　must　not；　and　I　cannot。　Your　friendship　has　put　some　sweetness　into　my　life；　but　beside　you　I　care　for　no　one；　no　one　could　efface　my　memories。　A　friend　I　accept；　I　should　fly　from　a　lover。　Besides；　would　it　be　a　very　generous　thing　to　do；　to　exchange　a　withered　heart　for　a　young　heart；　to　smile　upon　illusions　which　now　I　cannot　share；　to　cause　happiness　in　which　I　should　either　have　no　belief；　or　tremble　to　lose？　I　should　perhaps　respond　to　his　devotion　with　egoism；　should　weigh　and　deliberate　while　he　felt；　my　memory　would　resent　the　poignancy　of　his　happiness。　No；　if　you　love　once；　that　love　is　never　replaced；　you　see。　Indeed；　who　would　have　my　heart　at　this　price？〃

There　was　a　tinge　of　heartless　coquetry　in　the　words；　the　last　effort　of　discretion。

〃If　he　loses　courage；　well　and　good；　I　shall　live　alone　and　faithful。〃　The　thought　came　from　the　very　depths　of　the　woman；　for　her　it　was　the　too　slender　willow　twig　caught　in　vain　by　a　swimmer　swept　out　by　the　current。

Vandenesse's　involuntary　shudder　at　her　dictum　plead　more　eloquently　for　him　than　all　his　past　assiduity。　Nothing　moves　a　woman　so　much　as　the　discovery　of　a　gracious　delicacy　in　us；　such　a　refinement　of　sentiment　as　her　own；　for　a　woman　the　grace　and　delicacy　are　sure　tokens　of　truth。　Charles'　start　revealed　the　sincerity　of　his　love。　Mme。　d'Aiglemont　learned　the　strength　of　his　affection　from　the　intensity　of　his　pain。

〃Perhaps　you　are　right；〃　he　said　coldly。　〃New　love；　new　vexation　of　spirit。〃

Then　he　changed　the　subject；　and　spoke　of　indifferent　matters；　but　he　was　visibly　moved；　and　he　concentrated　his　gaze　on　Mme。　d'Aiglemont　as　if　he　were　seeing　her　for　the　last　time。

〃Adieu；　madame；〃　he　said；　with　emotion　in　his　voice。

〃/Au　revoir/；〃　said　she；　with　that　subtle　coquetry；　the　secret　of　a　very　few　among　women。

He　made　no　answer　and　went。

When　Charles　was　no　longer　there；　when　his　empty　chair　spoke　for　him；　regrets　flocked　in　upon　her；　and　she　found　fault　with　herself。　Passion　makes　an　immense　advance　as　soon　as　a　woman　persuades　herself　that　she　has　failed　somewhat　in　generosity　or　hurt　a　noble　nature。　In　love　there　is　never　any　need　to　be　on　our　guard　against　the　worst　in　us；　that　is　a　safeguard；　a　woman　only　surrenders　at　the　summons　of　a　virtue。　〃The　floor　of　hell　is　paved　with　good　intentions；〃it　is　no　preacher's　paradox。

Vandenesse　stopped　away　for　several　days。　Every　evening　at　the　accustomed　hour　the　Marquise　sat　expectant　in　remorseful　impatience。　She　could　not　writethat　would　be　a　declaration；　and；　moreover；　her　instinct　told　her　that　he　would　come　back。　On　the　sixth　day　he　was　announced；　and　never　had　she　heard　the　name　with　such　delight。　Her　joy　frightened　her。

〃You　have　punished　me　well；〃　she　said；　addressing　him。

Vandenesse　gazed　at　her　in　astonishment。

〃Punished？〃　he　echoed。　〃And　for　what？〃　He　understood　her　quite　well；　but　he　meant　to　be　avenged　for　all　that　he　had　suffered　as　soon　as　she　suspected　it。

〃Why　have　you　not　come　to　see　me？〃　she　demanded　with　a　smile。

〃Then　you　have　seen　no　visitors？〃　asked　he；　parrying　the　question。

〃Yes。　M。　de　Ronquerolles　and　M。　de　Marsay　and　young　d'Escrignon　came　and　stayed　for　nearly　two　hours；　the　first　two　yesterday；　the　last　this　morning。　And　besides；　I　have　had　a　call；　I　believe；　from　Mme。　Firmiani　and　from　your　sister；　Mme。　de　Listomere。〃

Here　was　a　new　infliction；　torture　which　none　can　comprehend　unless　they　know　love　as　a　fierce　and　all…invading　tyrant　whose　mildest　symptom　is　a　monstrous　jealousy；　a　perpetual　desire　to　snatch　away　the　beloved　from　every　other　influence。

〃What！〃　thought　he　to　himself；　〃she　has　seen　visitors；　she　has　been　with　happy　creatures；　and　talking　to　them；　while　I　was　unhappy　and　all　alone。〃

He　buried　his　annoyance　forthwith；　and　consigned　love　to　the　depths　of　his　heart；　like　a　coffin　to　the　sea。　His　thoughts　were　of　the　kind　that　never　find　expression　in　words；　they　pass　through　the　mind　swiftly　as　a　deadly　acid；　that　poisons　as　it　evaporates　and　vanishes。　His　brow；　however；　was　over…clouded；　and　Mme。　d'Aiglemont；　guided　by　her　woman's　instinct；　shared　his　sadness　without　understanding　it。　She　had　hurt　him；　unwittingly；　as　Vandenesse　knew。　He　talked　over　his　position　with　her；　as　if　his　jealousy　were　one　of　those　hypothetical　cases　which　lovers　love　to　discuss。　Then　the　Marquise　understood　it　all。　She　was　so　deeply　moved；　that　she　could　not　keep　back　the　tears　and　so　these　lovers　entered　the　heaven　of　love。

Heaven　and　Hell　are　two　great　imaginative　conceptions　formulating　our　ideas　of　Joy　and　Sorrowthose　two　poles　about　which　human　existence　revolves。　Is　not　heaven　a　figure　of　speech　covering　now　and　for　evermore　an　infinite　of　human　feeling　impossible　to　express　save　in　its　accidentssince　that　Joy　is　one？　And　what　is　Hell　but　the　symbol　of　our　infinite　power　to　suffer　tortures　so　diverse　that　of　our　pain　it　is　possible　to　fashion　works　of　art；　for　no　two　human　sorrows　are　alike？

One　evening　the　two　lovers　sat　alone　and　side　by　side；　silently　watching　one　of　the　fairest　transformations　of　the　sky；　a　cloudless　heaven　taking　hues　of　pale　gold　and　purple　from　the　last　rays　of　the　sunset。　With　the　slow　fading　of　the　daylight；　sweet　thoughts　seem　to　awaken；　and　soft　stirrings　of　passion；　and　a　mysterious　sense　of　trouble　in　the　midst　of　calm。　Nature　sets　before　us　vague　images　of　bliss；　bidding　us　enjoy　the　happiness　within　our　reach；　or　lament　it　when　it　has　fled。　In　those　moments　fraught　with　enchantment；　when　the　tender　light　in　the　canopy　of　the　sky　blends　in　harmony　with　the　spells　working　within；　it　is　difficult　to　resist　the　heart's　desires　grown　so　magically　potent。　Cares　are　blunted；　joy　becomes　ecstasy；　pain；　intolerable　anguish。　The　pomp　of　sunset　gives　the　signal　for　confessions　and　draws　them　forth。　Silence　grows　more　dangerous　than　speech　for　it　gives　to　eyes　all　the　power　of　the　infinite　of　the　heavens　reflected　in　them。　And　for　speech；　the　least　word　has　irresistible　might。　Is　not　the　light　infused　into　the　voice　and　purple　into　the　glances？　Is　not　heaven　within　us；　or　do　we　feel　that　we　are　in　the　heavens？

Vandenesse　and　Juliefor　so　she　had　allowed　herself　to　be　called　for　the　past　few　days　by　him　whom　she　loved　to　speak　of　as　Charles　Vandenesse　and　Julie　were　talking　together；　but　they　had　drifted　very　far　from　their　original　subject；　and　if　their　spoken　words　had　grown　meaningless　they　listened　in　delight　to　the　unspoken　thoughts　that　lurked　in　the　sounds。　Her　hand　lay　in　his。　She　had　abandoned　it　to　him　without　a　thought　that　she　had　granted　a　proof　of　love。

Together　they　leaned　forward　to　look　out　upon　a　majestic　cloud　country；　full　of　snows　and　glaciers　and　fantastic　mountain　peaks　with　gray　stains　of　shadow　on　their　sides；　a　picture　composed　of　sharp　contrasts　between　fiery　red　and　the　shadows　of　darkness；　filling　the　skies　with　a　fleeting　vision　of　glory　which　cannot　be　reproduced　magnificent　swaddling…bands　of　sunrise；　bright　shrouds　of　the　dying　sun。　As　they　leaned　Julie's　hair　brushed　lightly　against　Vandenesse's　cheek。　She　felt　that　light　contact；　and　shuddered　violently；　and　he　even　more；　for　imperceptibly　they　both　had　reached　one　of　those　inexplicable　crises　when　quiet　has　wrought　upon　the　senses　until　every　faculty　of　perception　is　so　keen　that　the　slightest　shock　fills　the　heart　lost　in　melancholy　with　sadness　that　overflows　in　tears；　or　raises　joy　to　ecstasy　in　a　heart　that　is　lost　in　the　vertigo　of　love。　Almost　involuntarily　Julie　pressed　her　lover's　hand。　That　wooing　pressure　gave　courage　to　his　timidity。　All　the　joy　of　the　present；　all　the　hopes　of　the　future　were　blended　in　the　emotion　of　a　first　caress；　the　bashful　trembling　kiss　that　Mme。　d'Aiglemont　received　upon　her　cheek。　The　slighter　the　concession；　the　more　dangerous　and　insinuating　it　was。　For　their　double　misfortune　it　was　only　too　sincere　a　revelation。　Two　noble　natures　had　met　and　blended；　drawn　each　to　each　by　every　law　of　natural　attraction；　held