don quixote(堂·吉珂德)-第51部分

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know　not　how　falsehood　could　have　had　the　power　of　dressing　them　up　to
seem　so　like　truth；　and　the　traitor　contrived　that　his　tears　should
vouch　for　his　words；　and　his　sighs　for　his　sincerity。
　　〃I；　a　poor　young　creature　alone；　ill　versed　among　my　people　in　cases
such　as　this；　began；　I　know　not　how；　to　think　all　these　lying
protestations　true；　though　without　being　moved　by　his　sighs　and
tears　to　anything　more　than　pure　compassion；　and　so；　as　the　first
feeling　of　bewilderment　passed　away；　and　I　began　in　some　degree　to
recover　myself；　I　said　to　him　with　more　courage　than　I　thought　I　could
have　possessed；　'If；　as　I　am　now　in　your　arms；　senor；　I　were　in　the
claws　of　a　fierce　lion；　and　my　deliverance　could　be　procured　by
doing　or　saying　anything　to　the　prejudice　of　my　honour；　it　would　no
more　be　in　my　power　to　do　it　or　say　it；　than　it　would　be　possible　that
what　was　should　not　have　been；　so　then；　if　you　hold　my　body　clasped　in
your　arms；　I　hold　my　soul　secured　by　virtuous　intentions；　very
different　from　yours；　as　you　will　see　if　you　attempt　to　carry　them
into　effect　by　force。　I　am　your　vassal；　but　I　am　not　your　slave；
your　nobility　neither　has　nor　should　have　any　right　to　dishonour　or
degrade　my　humble　birth；　and　low…born　peasant　as　I　am；　I　have　my
self…respect　as　much　as　you；　a　lord　and　gentleman：　with　me　your
violence　will　be　to　no　purpose；　your　wealth　will　have　no　weight；
your　words　will　have　no　power　to　deceive　me；　nor　your　sighs　or　tears
to　soften　me：　were　I　to　see　any　of　the　things　I　speak　of　in　him　whom
my　parents　gave　me　as　a　husband；　his　will　should　be　mine；　and　mine
should　be　bounded　by　his；　and　my　honour　being　preserved　even　though　my
inclinations　were　not　would　willingly　yield　him　what　you；　senor；　would
now　obtain　by　force；　and　this　I　say　lest　you　should　suppose　that　any
but　my　lawful　husband　shall　ever　win　anything　of　me。'　'If　that；'
said　this　disloyal　gentleman；　'be　the　only　scruple　you　feel；　fairest
Dorothea'　（for　that　is　the　name　of　this　unhappy　being）；　'see　here　I
give　you　my　hand　to　be　yours；　and　let　Heaven；　from　which　nothing　is
hid；　and　this　image　of　Our　Lady　you　have　here；　be　witnesses　of　this
pledge。'〃
　　When　Cardenio　heard　her　say　she　was　called　Dorothea；　he　showed　fresh
agitation　and　felt　convinced　of　the　truth　of　his　former　suspicion；　but
he　was　unwilling　to　interrupt　the　story；　and　wished　to　hear　the　end　of
what　he　already　all　but　knew；　so　he　merely　said：
　　〃What！　is　Dorothea　your　name；　senora？　I　have　heard　of　another　of　the
same　name　who　can　perhaps　match　your　misfortunes。　But　proceed；
by…and…by　I　may　tell　you　something　that　will　astonish　you　as　much　as
it　will　excite　your　compassion。〃
　　Dorothea　was　struck　by　Cardenio's　words　as　well　as　by　his　strange
and　miserable　attire；　and　begged　him　if　he　knew　anything　concerning
her　to　tell　it　to　her　at　once；　for　if　fortune　had　left　her　any
blessing　it　was　courage　to　bear　whatever　calamity　might　fall　upon　her；
as　she　felt　sure　that　none　could　reach　her　capable　of　increasing　in
any　degree　what　she　endured　already。
　　〃I　would　not　let　the　occasion　pass；　senora；〃　replied　Cardenio；　〃of
telling　you　what　I　think；　if　what　I　suspect　were　the　truth；　but　so　far
there　has　been　no　opportunity；　nor　is　it　of　any　importance　to　you　to
know　it。〃
　　〃Be　it　as　it　may；〃　replied　Dorothea；　〃what　happened　in　my　story
was　that　Don　Fernando；　taking　an　image　that　stood　in　the　chamber；
placed　it　as　a　witness　of　our　betrothal；　and　with　the　most　binding
words　and　extravagant　oaths　gave　me　his　promise　to　become　my
husband；　though　before　he　had　made　an　end　of　pledging　himself　I　bade
him　consider　well　what　he　was　doing；　and　think　of　the　anger　his　father
would　feel　at　seeing　him　married　to　a　peasant　girl　and　one　of　his
vassals；　I　told　him　not　to　let　my　beauty；　such　as　it　was；　blind　him；
for　that　was　not　enough　to　furnish　an　excuse　for　his　transgression；
and　if　in　the　love　he　bore　me　he　wished　to　do　me　any　kindness；　it
would　be　to　leave　my　lot　to　follow　its　course　at　the　level　my
condition　required；　for　marriages　so　unequal　never　brought
happiness；　nor　did　they　continue　long　to　afford　the　enjoyment　they
began　with。
　　〃All　this　that　I　have　now　repeated　I　said　to　him；　and　much　more
which　I　cannot　recollect；　but　it　had　no　effect　in　inducing　him　to
forego　his　purpose；　he　who　has　no　intention　of　paying　does　not　trouble
himself　about　difficulties　when　he　is　striking　the　bargain。　At　the
same　time　I　argued　the　matter　briefly　in　my　own　mind；　saying　to
myself；　'I　shall　not　be　the　first　who　has　risen　through　marriage
from　a　lowly　to　a　lofty　station；　nor　will　Don　Fernando　be　the　first
whom　beauty　or；　as　is　more　likely；　a　blind　attachment；　has　led　to　mate
himself　below　his　rank。　Then；　since　I　am　introducing　no　new　usage　or
practice；　I　may　as　well　avail　myself　of　the　honour　that　chance
offers　me；　for　even　though　his　inclination　for　me　should　not　outlast
the　attainment　of　his　wishes；　I　shall　be；　after　all；　his　wife　before
God。　And　if　I　strive　to　repel　him　by　scorn；　I　can　see　that；　fair　means
failing；　he　is　in　a　mood　to　use　force；　and　I　shall　be　left　dishonoured
and　without　any　means　of　proving　my　innocence　to　those　who　cannot　know
how　innocently　I　have　come　to　be　in　this　position；　for　what
arguments　would　persuade　my　parents　that　this　gentleman　entered　my
chamber　without　my　consent？'
　　〃All　these　questions　and　answers　passed　through　my　mind　in　a　moment；
but　the　oaths　of　Don　Fernando；　the　witnesses　he　appealed　to；　the　tears
he　shed；　and　lastly　the　charms　of　his　person　and　his　high…bred
grace；　which；　accompanied　by　such　signs　of　genuine　love；　might　well
have　conquered　a　heart　even　more　free　and　coy　than　mine…　these　were
the　things　that　more　than　all　began　to　influence　me　and　lead　me
unawares　to　my　ruin。　I　called　my　waiting…maid　to　me；　that　there
might　be　a　witness　on　earth　besides　those　in　Heaven；　and　again　Don
Fernando　renewed　and　repeated　his　oaths；　invoked　as　witnesses　fresh
saints　in　addition　to　the　former　ones；　called　down　upon　himself　a
thousand　curses　hereafter　should　he　fail　to　keep　his　promise；　shed
more　tears；　redoubled　his　sighs　and　pressed　me　closer　in　his　arms；
from　which　he　had　never　allowed　me　to　escape；　and　so　I　was　left　by
my　maid；　and　ceased　to　be　one；　and　he　became　a　traitor　and　a
perjured　man。
　　〃The　day　which　followed　the　night　of　my　misfortune　did　not　come　so
quickly；　I　imagine；　as　Don　Fernando　wished；　for　when　desire　has
attained　its　object；　the　greatest　pleasure　is　to　fly　from　the　scene　of
pleasure。　I　say　so　because　Don　Fernando　made　all　haste　to　leave　me；
and　by　the　adroitness　of　my　maid；　who　was　indeed　the　one　who　had
admitted　him；　gained　the　street　before　daybreak；　but　on　taking　leave
of　me　he　told　me；　though　not　with　as　much　earnestness　and　fervour　as
when　he　came；　that　I　might　rest　assured　of　his　faith　and　of　the
sanctity　and　sincerity　of　his　oaths；　and　to　confirm　his　words　he
drew　a　rich　ring　off　his　finger　and　placed　it　upon　mine。　He　then
took　his　departure　and　I　was　left；　I　know　not　whether　sorrowful　or
happy；　all　I　can　say　is；　I　was　left　agitated　and　troubled　in　mind
and　almost　bewildered　by　what　had　taken　place；　and　I　had　not　the
spirit；　or　else　it　did　not　occur　to　me；　to　chide　my　maid　for　the
treachery　she　had　been　guilty　of　in　concealing　Don　Fernando　in　my
chamber；　for　as　yet　I　was　unable　to　make　up　my　mind　whether　what　had
befallen　me　was　for　good　or　evil。　I　told　Don　Fernando　at　parting；　that
as　I　was　now　his；　he　might　see　me　on　other　nights　in　the　same　way；
until　it　should　be　his　pleasure　to　let　the　matter　become　known；　but；
except　the　following　night；　he　came　no　more；　nor　for　more　than　a　month
could　I　catch　a　glimpse　of　him　in　the　street　or　in　church；　while　I
wearied　myself　with　watching　for　one；　although　I　knew　he　was　in　the
town；　and　almost　every　day　went　out　hunting；　a　pastime　he　was　very
fond　of。　I　remember　well　how　sad　and　dreary　those　days　and　hours
were　to　me；　I　remember　well　how　I　began　to　doubt　as　they　went　by；
and　even　to　lose　confidence　in　the　faith　of　Don　Fernando；　and　I
remember；　too；　how　my　maid　heard　those　words　in　reproof　of　her
audacity　that　she　had　not　heard　before；　and　how　I　was　forced　to　put
a　constraint　on　my　tears　and　on　the　expression　of　my　countenance；
not　to　give　my　parents　cause　to　ask　me　why　I　was　so　melancholy；　and
drive　me　to　invent　falsehoods　in　reply。　But　all　this　was　suddenly
brought　to　an　end；　for　the　time　came　when　all　such　considerations　were
disregarded；　and　there　was　no　further　question　of　honour；　when　my
patience　gave　way　and　the　secret　of　my　heart　became　known　abroad。
The　reason　was；　that　a　few　days　later　it　was　reported　in　the　town　that
Don　Fernando　had　been　married　in　a　neighbouring　city　to　a　maiden　of
rare　beauty；　the　daughter　of　parents　of　distinguished　position；　though
not　so　rich　that　her　portion　would　entitle　her　to　look　for　so
brilliant　a　match；　it　was　said；　too；　that　her　name　was　Luscinda；　and
that　at　the　betrothal　some　strange　things　had　happened。〃
　　Cardenio　heard　the　name　of　Luscinda；　but　he　only　shrugged　his
shoulders；　bit　his　lips；　bent　his　brows；　and　before　long　two　streams
of　tears　escaped　from　his　eyes。　Dorothea；　however；　did　not　interrupt
her　story；　but　went　on　in　these　words：
　　〃This　sad　intelligence　reached　my　ears；　and；　instead　of　being　struck
with　a　chill；　with　such　wrath　and　fury　did　my　heart　burn　that　I
scarcely　restrained　myself　from　rushing　out　into　the　streets；　crying
aloud　and　proclaiming　openly　the　perfidy　and　treachery　of　which　I
was　the　victim；　but　this　transport　of　rage　was　for　the　time　checked　by
a　resolution　I　formed；　to　be　carried　out　the　same　night；　and　that
was　to　assume　this　dress；　which　I　got　from　a　servant　of　my　father's；
one　of　the　zagals；　as　they　are　called　in　farmhouses；　to　whom　I
confided　the　whole　of　my　misfortune；　and　whom　I　entreated　to　accompany
me　to　the　city　where　I　heard　my　enemy　was。　He；　though　he
remonstrated　with　me　for　my　boldness；　and　condemned　my　resolution；
when　he　saw　me　bent　upon　my　purpose；　offered　to　bear　me　company；　as　he
said；　to　the　end　of　the　world。　I　at　once　packed　up　in　a　linen
pillow…case　a　woman's　dress；　and　some　jewels　and　money　to　provide
for　emergencies；　and　in　the　silence　of　the　night；　without　letting　my
treacherous　maid　know；　I