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第15部分

burlesques-第15部分

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Mordeky; and well known to every lover of 〃a prime sigaw and an

exlent cup of reel Moky Coffy for 6d。〃



The Constantinople Divann is greatly used by the foring gents of

Lester Squar。  I never ad the good fortn to pass down Pipping's

Buildings without seeing a haf a duzen of 'em on the threshole of

the extablishment; giving the street an oppertunity of testing the

odar of the Misses Mordeky's prime Avannas。  Two or three mor may

be visable inside; settn on the counter or the chestis; indulging

in their fav'rit whead; the rich and spisy Pickwhick; the ripe

Manilly; or the flagrant and arheumatic Qby。



〃These Divanns are; as is very well known; the knightly resott of

the young Henglish nobillaty。  It is ear a young Pier; after an

arjus day at the House of Commons; solazes himself with a glas of

gin…and…water (the national beveridge); with cheerful conversation

on the ewents of the day; or with an armless gaym of baggytell in

the back…parlor。〃



So wrote at least our friend Jools to his newspaper; the Horriflam;

and of this back…parlor and baggytell…bord; of this counter; of

this 〃Constantinople〃 Divan; he became almost as reglar a

frequenter as the plaster of Parish Turk who sits smoking a hookey

between the two blue coffee…cups in the winder。



I have oftin; smokin my own shroot in silents in a corner of the

Diwann; listened to Jools and his friends inwaying aginst Hingland;

and boastin of their own immortial country。  How they did go on

about Wellintun; and what an arty contamp they ad for him!how

they used to prove that France was the Light; the Scenter…pint; the

Igsample and hadmiration of the whole world!  And though I scarcely

take a French paper now…a…days (I lived in early days as groom in a

French famly three years; and therefore knows the languidg);

though; I say; you can't take up Jools's paper; the Orriflam;

without readin that a minister has committed bribery and perjury;

or that a littery man has committed perjury and murder; or that a

Duke has stabbed his wife in fifty places; or some story equally

horrible; yet for all that it's admiral to see how the French gents

will swaggerhow they will be the scenters of civilizationhow

they will be the Igsamples of Europ; and nothink shall prevent 'em

knowing they will have it; I say I listen; smokin my pip in

silence。  But to our tail。



Reglar every evening there came to the 〃Constantanople〃 a young

gent etired in the igth of fashn; and indead presenting by the

cleanlyness of his appearants and linning (which was generally a

pink or blew shurt; with a cricketer or a dansuse pattern) rather a

contrast to the dinjy and whistkcard sosaity of the Diwann。  As for

wiskars; this young mann had none beyond a little yallow tought to

his chin; which you woodn notas; only he was always pulling at it。

His statue was diminnative; but his coschume supubb; for he had the

tippiest Jane boots; the ivoryheadest canes; the most gawjus

scarlick Jonville ties; and the most Scotch…plaidest trowseys; of

any customer of that establishment。  He was univusaly called

Milord。



〃Que est ce jeune seigneur?  Who is this young hurl who comes

knightly to the 'Constantanople;' who is so proddigl of his gold

(for indeed the young gent would frequinly propoase gininwater to

the company); and who drinks so much gin?〃 asked Munseer Chacabac

of a friend from the 〃Hotel de l'Ail。〃



〃His name is Lord Yardham;〃 answered that friend。  〃He never comes

here but at nightand why?〃



〃Y?〃 igsclaimed Jools; istonisht。



〃Why? because he is engaygd all dayand do you know where he is

engaygd all day?〃



〃Where?〃 asked Jools。



〃At the Foring OfficeNOW do you begin to understand?〃Jools

trembled。



He speaks of his uncle; the head of that office。〃Who IS the head

of that offis?Palmerston。〃



〃The nephew of Palmerston!〃 said Jools; almost in a fit。



〃Lor Yardham pretends not to speak French;〃 the other went on。  〃He

pretends he can only say wee and commong porty voo。  Shallow

humbug!I have marked him during our conversations。When we have

spoken of the glory of France among the nations; I have seen his

eye kindle; and his perfidious lip curl with rage。  When they have

discussed before him; the Imprudents! the affairs of Europe; and

Raggybritchovich has shown us the next Circassian Campaign; or

Sapousne has laid hare the plan of the Calabrian patriots for the

next insurrection; I have marked this strangerthis Lor Yardham。

He smokes; 'tis to conceal his countenance; he drinks gin; 'tis to

hide his face in the goblet。  And be sure; he carries every word of

our conversation to the perfidious Palmerston; his uncle。〃



〃I will beard him in his den;〃 thought Jools。  〃I will meet him

corps…a…corpsthe tyrant of Europe shall suffer through his

nephew; and I will shoot him as dead as Dujarrier。〃



When Lor Yardham came to the 〃Constantanople〃 that night; Jools i'd

him savidgely from edd to foot; while Lord Yardham replied the

same。  It wasn't much for either to doneyther being more than 4

foot ten hiJools was a grannydear in his company of the Nashnal

Gard; and was as brayv as a lion。



〃Ah; l'Angleterre; l'Angleterre; tu nous dois une revanche;〃 said

Jools; crossing his arms and grinding his teeth at Lord Yardham。



〃Wee;〃 said Lord Yardham; 〃wee。〃



〃Delenda est Carthago!〃 howled out Jools。



〃Oh; wee;〃 said the Erl of Yardham; and at the same moment his glas

of ginawater coming in; he took a drink; saying; 〃A voternsanty;

Munseer:〃 and then he offered it like a man of fashn to Jools。



A light broak on Jools's mind as he igsepted the refreshmint。

〃Sapoase;〃 he said; 〃instedd of slaughtering this nephew of the

infamous Palmerston; I extract his secrets from him; suppose I pump

himsuppose I unveil his schemes and send them to my paper?  La

France may hear the name of Jools de Chacabac; and the star of

honor may glitter on my bosom。〃



So axepting Lord Yardham's cortasy; he returned it by ordering

another glass of gin at his own expence; and they both drank it on

the counter; where Jools talked of the affaers of Europ all night。

To everything he said; the Earl of Yardham answered; 〃Wee; wee;〃

except at the end of the evening; when he squeeged his & and said;

〃Bong swore。〃



〃There's nothing like goin amongst 'em to equire the reel

pronounciation;〃 his lordship said; as he let himself into his

lodgings with his latch…key。  〃That was a very eloquent young gent

at the 'Constantinople;' and I'll patronize him。〃



〃Ah; perfide; je te demasquerai!〃 Jools remarked to himself as he

went to bed in his 〃Hotel de l'Ail。〃  And they met the next night;

and from that heavning the young men were continyually together。



Well; one day; as they were walking in the Quadrant; Jools talking;

and Lord Yardham saying; 〃Wee; wee;〃 they were struck all of a heap

by seeing



But my paper is igshosted; and I must dixcribe what they sor in the

nex number。





III。



THE CASTLE OF THE ISLAND OF FOGO。





The travler who pesews his dalitefle coarse through the fair rellum

of Franse (as a great romantic landskippist and neamsack of mind

would say) never chaumed his i's within a site more lovely; or vu'd

a pallis more magniffiznt than that which was the buthplace of the

Eroing of this Trew Tale。  Phansy a country through whose werdant

planes the selvery Garonne wines; likelike a benevvolent sarpent。

In its plasid busum antient cassles; picturask willidges; and

waving woods are reflected。  Purple hills; crownd with inteak

ruings; rivvilets babbling through gentle greenwoods; wight farm

ouses; hevvy with hoverhanging vines; and from which the appy and

peaseful okupier can cast his glans over goolden waving cornfealds;

and M。 Herald meddows in which the lazy cattle are graysinn; while

the sheppard; tending his snoughy flox; wiles away the leisure

mominx on his lootthese hoffer but a phaint pictur of the rurial

felissaty in the midst of widge Crinoline and Hesteria de Viddlers

were bawn。



Their Par; the Marcus de Viddlers; Shavilear of the Legend of Honor

and of the Lion of Bulgum; the Golden Flease; Grand Cross of the

Eflant and Castle; and of the Catinbagpipes of Hostria; Grand

Chamberleng of the Crownd; and Major…Genaril of Hoss…Mareens; &c。

&c。 &c。is the twenty…foth or fith Marquis that has bawn the

Tittle; is disended lenyally from King Pipping; and has almost as

antient a paddygree as any which the Ollywell Street frends of the

Member of Buckinumsheer can supply。



His Marchyniss; the lovely & ecomplisht Emily de St。 Cornichon;

quitted this mortial spear very soon after she had presented her

lord with the two little dawling Cherrybins above dixcribed; in

whomb; after the loss of that angle his wife; the disconslit

widderer found his only jy on huth。  In all his emusemints they

ecumpanied him; their edjacation was his sole bisniss; he atcheaved

it with the assistnce of the ugliest and most lernid masters; and

the most hidjus and egsimplary governices which money could

procure。  R; how must his peturnle art have bet; as these Budds;

which he had nurrisht; bust into buty; and twined in blooming

flagrance round his pirentle Busm!



The villidges all round his hancestral Alls blessed the Marcus and

his lovely hoffsprig。  Not one villidge in their naybrood but was

edawned by their elygint benifisns; and where the inhabitnts wern't

rendered appy。  It was a pattern pheasantry。  All the old men in

the districk were wertuous & tockative; ad red stockins and i…eeled

drab shoes; and beautiful snowy air。  All the old women had peaked

ats; and crooked cains; and chince gowns tucked into the pockits of

their quiltid petticoats; they sat in pictarask porches; pretendin

to spinn; while the lads and lassis of the villidges danst under

the hellums。  O; tis a noble sight to whitniss that of an appy

pheasantry!  Not one of those rustic wassals of 

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