burlesques-第25部分

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remain。'



〃'I　give　you　warning；'　roars　he；　looking　black；　blue；　yallerall

the　colors　of　the　ranebo。



〃'Take　off　your　coat；　you　imperent；　hungrateful　scoundrl；'　says　I。



〃'It's　not　your　livery；'　says　he。



〃'Peraps　you'll　understand　me；　when　I　take　off　my　own；'　says　I；

unbuttoning　the　motherapurls　of　the　MacWhirter　tartn。　　'Take　my

jackit；　Joe；'　says　I　to　the　boy；and　put　myself　in　a　hattitude

about　which　there　was　NO　MISTAYK。



　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。



〃He's　2　stone　heavier　than　meand　knows　the　use　of　his　ands　as

well　as　most　men；　but　in　a　fite；　BLOOD'S　EVERYTHINK：　the　Snobb

can't　stand　before　the　gentleman；　and　I　should　have　killed　him；

I've　little　doubt；　but　they　came　and　stopt　the　fite　betwigst　us

before　we'd　had　more　than　2　rounds。



〃I　punisht　the　raskle　tremenjusly　in　that　time；　though；　and　I'm

writing　this　in　my　own　sittn…room；　not　being　able　to　come　down　to

dinner　on　account　of　a　black…eye　I've　got；　which　is　sweld　up　and

disfiggrs　me　dreadfl。〃





〃On　account　of　the　hoffle　black　i　which　I　reseaved　in　my　rangcounter

with　the　hinfimus　Fitzwarren；　I　kep　my　roomb　for　sevral　days；　with

the　rose…colored　curtings　of　the　apartmint　closed；　so　as　to　form　an

agreeable　twilike；　and　a　light…bloo　sattin　shayd　over　the　injard

pheacher。　　My　woons　was　thus　made　to　become　me　as　much　as　pawsable；

and　（has　the　Poick　well　observes　'Nun　but　the　Brayv　desuvs　the

Fare'）　I　cumsoled　myself　in　the　sasiaty　of　the　ladies　for　my　tempory

disfiggarment。



〃It　was　Mary　Hann　who　summind　the　House　and　put　an　end　to　my

phisticoughs　with　Fitzwarren。　　I　licked　him　and　bare　him　no　mallis：

but　of　corse　I　dismist　the　imperent　scoundrill　from　my　suvvis；

apinting　Adolphus；　my　page；　to　his　post　of　confidenshle　Valley。



〃Mary　Hann　and　her　young　and　lovely　Mrs。　kep　paying　me　continyoul

visits　during　my　retiremint。　　Lady　Hangelina　was　halways　sending　me

messidges　by　her：　while　my　exlent　friend；　Lady　Bareacres　（on　the

contry）　was　always　sending　me　toakns　of　affeckshn　by　Hangelina。

Now　it　was　a　coolin　hi…lotium；　inwented　by　herself；　that　her

Ladyship　would　perscribethen；　agin；　it　would　be　a　booky　of

flowers　（my　favrit　polly　hanthuses；　pellagoniums；　and　jyponikys）；

which　none　but　the　fair　&s　of　Hangelina　could　dispose　about　the

chamber　of　the　hinvyleed。　　Ho！　those　dear　mothers！　when　they　wish

to　find　a　chans　for　a　galliant　young　feller；　or　to　ixtablish　their

dear　gals　in　life；　what　awpertunities　they　WILL　give　a　man！　　You'd

have　phansied　I　was　so　hill　（on　account　of　my　black　hi）；　that　I

couldnt　live　exsep　upon　chicking　and　spoon…meat；　and　jellies；　and

blemonges；　and　that　I　coudnt　eat　the　latter　dellixies　（which　I

ebomminate　onternoo；　prefurring　a　cut　of　beaf　or　muttn　to　hall　the

kickpshaws　of　France）；　unless　Hangelina　brought　them。　　I　et　'em；

and　sacrafised　myself　for　her　dear　sayk。



〃I　may　stayt　here　that　in　privit　convasations　with　old　Lord　B。　and

his　son；　I　had　mayd　my　proposals　for　Hangelina；　and　was　axepted；

and　hoped　soon　to　be　made　the　appiest　gent　in　Hengland。



〃'You　must　break　the　matter　gently　to　her；'　said　her　hexlent

father。　　'You　have　my　warmest　wishes；　my　dear　Mr。　De　la　Pluche；　and

those　of　my　Lady　Bareacres；　but　I　am　notnot　quite　certain　about

Lady　Angelina's　feelings。　　Girls　are　wild　and　romantic。　　They　do

not　see　the　necessity　of　prudent　establishments；　and　I　have　never

yet　been　able　to　make　Angelina　understand　the　embarrassments　of　her

family。　　These　silly　creatures　prate　about　love　and　a　cottage；　and

despise　advantages　which　wiser　heads　than　theirs　know　how　to

estimate。'



〃'Do　you　mean　that　she　aint　fassanated　by　me？'　says　I；　bursting　out

at　this　outrayjus　ideer。



〃'She　WILL　be；　my　dear　sir。　　You　have　already　pleased　her；your

admirable　manners　must　succeed　in　captivating　her；　and　a　fond

father's　wishes　will　be　crowned　on　the　day　in　which　you　enter　our

family。'



〃'Recklect；　gents；'　says　I　to　the　2　lords；'a　barging's　a　barging

I'll　pay　hoff　Southdown's　Jews；　when　I'm　his　brother。　　As　a

STRAYNGER'（this　I　said　in　a　sarcastickle　toan）'I　wouldn't　take

such　a　LIBBATY。　　When　I'm　your　suninlor　I'll　treble　the　valyou　of

your　estayt。　　I'll　make　your　incumbrinces　as　right　as　a　trivit；　and

restor　the　ouse　of　Bareacres　to　its　herly　splender。　　But　a　pig　in　a

poak　is　not　the　way　of　transacting　bisniss　imployed　by　Jeames　De　la

Pluche；　Esquire。'



〃And　I　had　a　right　to　speak　in　this　way。　　I　was　one　of　the　greatest

scrip…holders　in　Hengland；　and　calclated　on　a　kilossle　fortune。

All　my　shares　was　rising　immence。　　Every　poast　brot　me　noose　that　I

was　sevral　thowsands　richer　than　the　day　befor。　　I　was　detummind

not　to　reerlize　till　the　proper　time；　and　then　to　buy　istates；　to

found　a　new　family　of　Delapluches；　and　to　alie　myself　with　the

aristoxy　of　my　country。



〃These　pints　I　reprasented　to　pore　Mary　Hann　hover　and　hover　agin。

'If　you'd　been　Lady　Hangelina；　my　dear　gal；'　says　I；　'I　would　have

married　you：　and　why　don't　I？　　Because　my　dooty　prewents　me。　　I'm　a

marter　to　dooty；　and　you；　my　pore　gal；　must　cumsole　yorself　with

that　ideer。'



〃There　seemed　to　be　a　consperracy；　too；　between　that　Silvertop　and

Lady　Hangelina　to　drive　me　to　the　same　pint。　　'What　a　plucky　fellow

you　were；　Pluche；'　says　he　（he　was　rayther　more　familiar　than　I

liked）；　'in　your　fight　with　Fitzwarrento　engage　a　man　of　twice

your　strength　and　science；　though　you　were　sure　to　be　beaten'　（this

is　an　etroashous　folsood：　I　should　have　finnisht　Fitz　in　10

minnits）；　'for　the　sake　of　poor　Mary　Hann！　　That's　a　generous

fellow。　　I　like　to　see　a　man　risen　to　eminence　like　you；　having　his

heart　in　the　right　place。　　When　is　to　be　the　marriage；　my　boy？'



〃'Capting　S。'　says　I；　'my　marridge　consunns　your　most　umble　servnt

a　precious　sight　more　than　you；'and　I　gev　him　to　understand　I

didn't　want　him　to　put　in　HIS　oreI　wasn't　afrayd　of　his　whiskers；

I　prommis　you；　Capting　as　he　was。　　I'm　a　British　Lion；　I　am　as

brayv　as　Bonypert；　Hannible；　or　Holiver　Crummle；　and　would　face

bagnits　as　well　as　any　Evy　drigoon　of　'em　all。



〃Lady　Hangelina；　too；　igspawstulated　in　her　hartfl　way。　　'Mr。　De　la

Pluche　（seshee）；　why；　why　press　this　point？　　You　can't　suppose　that

you　will　be　happy　with　a　person　like　me？'



〃'I　adoar　you；　charming　gal！'　says　I。　　'Never；　never　go　to　say　any

such　thing。'



〃'You　adored　Mary　Ann　first；'　answers　her　ladyship；　'you　can't　keep

your　eyes　off　her　now。　　If　any　man　courts　her　you　grow　so　jealous

that　you　begin　beating　him。　　You　will　break　the　girl's　heart　if　you

don't　marry　her；　and　perhaps　some　one　else'sbut　you　don't　mind

THAT。'



〃'Break　yours；　you　adoarible　creature！　　I'd　die　first！　　And　as　for

Mary　Hann；　she　will　git　over　it；　people's　arts　aint　broakn　so　easy。

Once　for　all；　suckmstances　is　changed　betwigst　me　and　er。　　It's　a

pang　to　part　with　her'　（says　I；　my　fine　hi's　filling　with　tears）；

'but　part　from　her　I　must。'



〃It　was　curius　to　remark　abowt　that　singlar　gal；　Lady　Hangelina；

that　melumcolly　as　she　was　when　she　was　talking　to　me；　and　ever　so

dismlyet　she　kep　on　laffing　every　minute　like　the　juice　and　all。



〃'What　a　sacrifice！'　says　she；　'it's　like　Napoleon　giving　up

Josephine。　　What　anguish　it　must　cause　to　your　susceptible　heart！'



〃'It　does；'　says　I'Hagnies！'　　（Another　laff。）



〃'And　ifif　I　don't　accept　youyou　will　invade　the　States　of

the　Emperor；　my　papa；　and　I　am　to　be　made　the　sacrifice　and　the

occasion　of　peace　between　you！'



〃'I　don't　know　what　you're　eluding　to　about　Joseyfeen　and　Hemperors

your　Pas；　but　I　know　that　your　Pa's　estate　is　over　hedaneers

morgidged；　that　if　some　one　don't　elp　him；　he's　no　better　than　an

old　pawper；　that　he　owes　me　a　lot　of　money；　and　that　I'm　the　man

that　can　sell　him　up　hoss　&　foot；　or　set　him　up　agenTHAT'S　what　I

know；　Lady　Hangelina；'　says　I；　with　a　hair　as　much　as　to　say；　'Put

THAT　in　your　ladyship's　pipe　and　smoke　it。'



〃And　so　I　left　her；　and　nex　day　a　serting　fashnable　paper　enounced



〃'MARRIAGE　IN　HIGH　LIFE。We　hear　that　a　matrimonial　union　is　on

the　tapis　between　a　gentleman　who　has　made　a　colossal　fortune　in

the　Railway　World；　and　the　only　daughter　of　a　noble　earl；　whose

estates　are　situated　in　D…ddles…x。　　An　early　day　is　fixed　for　this

interesting　event。'〃





〃Contry　to　my　expigtations　（but　when　or　ow　can　we　reckn　upon　the

fealinx　of　wimming？）　Mary　Hann　didn't　seem　to　be　much　efected　by

the　hideer　of　my　marridge　with　Hangelinar。　　I　was　rayther

disapinted　peraps　that　the　fickle　young　gal　reckumsiled　herself　so

easy　to　give　me　hup；　for　we　Gents　are　creechers　of　vannaty　after

all；　as　well　as　those　of　the　hopsit　secks；　and　betwigst　you　and　me

there　WAS　mominx；　when　I　almost　wisht　that　I'd　been　borne　a

Myommidn　or　Turk；　when　the　Lor　would　have　permitted　me　to　marry

both　these　sweet　beinx；　wherehas　I　was　now　condemd　to　be　appy　with

ony　one。



〃Meanwild　everythink　went　on　very　agreeable　betwigst　me　and　my

defianced　bride。　　When　we　came　back　to　town　I　kemishnd　Mr。　Showery

the　great　Hoctionear　to　look　out　for　a　town　maushing　sootable　for　a

gent　of　my　qualaty。　　I　got　from　the　Erald　Hoffis　（not　the　Mawning

Eraldno；　no；　I'm　not　such　a　Mough　as　to　go　THERE　for　ackrit

infamation）　an　account　of　my　famly；　my　harms　and　pedigry。



〃I　hordered　in　Long　Hacre；　three　splendid　equipidges；　on　which　my

arms　and　my　adord　wife's　was　drawn　&　quartered；　and　I　got　portricks

of　me　and　her　paynted　by　the　sellabrated　Mr。　Shalloon；　being

resolved　to　be　the　gentleman　in　all　things；　and　knowing　that　my

character　as　a　man　of　fashn　wasn't　compleat　unless　I　sat　to　that

dixtinguished　Hartist。　　My　likenis　I　presented　to　Hangelina。　　It's

not　considered　flattringand　though　SHE　parted　with　it；　as　you

will　hear；　mighty　willingly；　there's　ONE　young　lady　（a　thousand

times　handsomer）　that　values　it　as　the　happle　of　her　hi。



〃Would　any　man　beleave　that　this　picture　was　soald　at　my　sale　for

about　a　twenty