burlesques-第61部分

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prints　the　C。　has　been　made　acquainted　with　the　flattering　proposal

of　His　Serene　Highness　relative　to　a　union　between　himself　（the

Champion）　and　her　Serene　Highness　the　Princess　Helen　of　Cleves。

The　Champion　accepts　with　pleasure　that　polite　invitation；　and　will

have　the　honor　of　waiting　upon　the　Prince　and　Princess　of　Cleves

about　half　an　hour　after　the　receipt　of　this　letter。〃



〃Tol　lol　de　rol；　girl；〃　shouted　the　Prince　with　heartfelt　joy。

（Have　you　not　remarked；　dear　friend；　how　often　in　novel…books；　and

on　the　stage；　joy　is　announced　by　the　above　burst　of　insensate

monosyllables？）　　〃Tol　lol　de　rol。　　Don　thy　best　kirtle；　child；　thy

husband　will　be　here　anon。〃　　And　Helen　retired　to　arrange　her

toilet　for　this　awful　event　in　the　life　of　a　young　woman。　　When　she

returned；　attired　to　welcome　her　defender；　her　young　cheek　was　as

pale　as　the　white　satin　slip　and　orange　sprigs　she　wore。



She　was　scarce　seated　on　the　dais　by　her　father's　side；　when　a　huge

flourish　of　trumpets　from　without　proclaimed　the　arrival　of　THE

CHAMPION。　　Helen　felt　quite　sick：　a　draught　of　ether　was　necessary

to　restore　her　tranquillity。



The　great　door　was　flung　open。　　He　entered；the　same　tall　warrior；

slim；　and　beautiful；　blazing　in　shining　steel。　　He　approached　the

Prince's　throne；　supported　on　each　side　by　a　friend　likewise　in

armor。　　He　knelt　gracefully　on　one　knee。



〃I　come；〃　said　he　in　a　voice　trembling　with　emotion；　〃to　claim；　as

per　advertisement；　the　hand　of　the　lovely　Lady　Helen。〃　　And　he　held

out　a　copy　of　the　Allgemeine　Zeitung　as　he　spoke。



〃Art　thou　noble；　Sir　Knight？〃　asked　the　Prince　of　Cleves。



〃As　noble　as　yourself；〃　answered　the　kneeling　steel。



〃Who　answers　for　thee？〃



〃I；　Karl；　Margrave　of　Godesberg；　his　father！〃　said　the　knight　on

the　right　hand；　lifting　up　his　visor。



〃And　ILudwig；　Count　of　Hombourg；　his　godfather！〃　said　the　knight

on　the　left；　doing　likewise。



The　kneeling　knight　lifted　up　his　visor　now；　and　looked　on　Helen。



〃I　KNEW　IT　WAS；〃　said　she；　and　fainted　as　she　saw　Otto　the　Archer。



But　she　was　soon　brought　to；　gentles；　as　I　have　small　need　to　tell

ye。　　In　a　very　few　days　after；　a　great　marriage　took　place　at

Cleves　under　the　patronage　of　Saint　Bugo；　Saint　Buffo；　and　Saint

Bendigo。　　After　the　marriage　ceremony；　the　happiest　and　handsomest

pair　in　the　world　drove　off　in　a　chaise…and…four；　to　pass　the

honeymoon　at　Kissingen。　　The　Lady　Theodora；　whom　we　left　locked　up

in　her　convent　a　long　while　since；　was　prevailed　upon　to　come　back

to　Godesberg；　where　she　was　reconciled　to　her　husband。　　Jealous　of

her　daughter…in…law；　she　idolized　her　son；　and　spoiled　all　her

little　grandchildren。　　And　so　all　are　happy；　and　my　simple　tale　is

done。



I　read　it　in　an　old；　old　book；　in　a　mouldy　old　circulating　library。

'Twas　written　in　the　French　tongue；　by　the　noble　Alexandre　Dumas；

but　'tis　probable　that　he　stole　it　from　some　other；　and　that　the

other　had　filched　it　from　a　former　tale…teller。　　For　nothing　is　new

under　the　sun。　　Things　die　and　are　reproduced　only。　　And　so　it　is

that　the　forgotten　tale　of　the　great　Dumas　reappears　under　the

signature　of



THERESA　MACWHIRTER。



WHISTLEBINKIE；　N。B。；　December　1。









REBECCA　AND　ROWENA。



A　ROMANCE　UPON　ROMANCE。



BY　MR。　MICHAEL　ANGELO　TITMARSH。





CHAPTER　I。



THE　OVERTURE。COMMENCEMENT　OF　THE　BUSINESS。





Well…beloved　novel…readers　and　gentle　patronesses　of　romance；

assuredly　it　has　often　occurred　to　every　one　of　you；　that　the　books

we　delight　in　have　very　unsatisfactory　conclusions；　and　end　quite

prematurely　with　page　320　of　the　third　volume。　　At　that　epoch　of

the　history　it　is　well　known　that　the　hero　is　seldom　more　than

thirty　years　old；　and　the　heroine　by　consequence　some　seven　or

eight　years　younger；　and　I　would　ask　any　of　you　whether　it　is　fair

to　suppose　that　people　after　the　above　age　have　nothing　worthy　of

note　in　their　lives；　and　cease　to　exist　as　they　drive　away　from

Saint　George's；　Hanover　Square？　　You；　dear　young　ladies；　who　get

your　knowledge　of　life　from　the　circulating　library；　may　be　led　to

imagine　that　when　the　marriage　business　is　done；　and　Emilia　is

whisked　off　in　the　new　travelling…carriage；　by　the　side　of　the

enraptured　Earl；　or　Belinda；　breaking　away　from　the　tearful

embraces　of　her　excellent　mother；　dries　her　own　lovely　eyes　upon

the　throbbing　waistcoat　of　her　bridegroomyou　may　be　apt；　I　say；

to　suppose　that　all　is　over　then；　that　Emilia　and　the　Earl　are

going　to　be　happy　for　the　rest　of　their　lives　in　his　lordship's

romantic　castle　in　the　North；　and　Belinda　and　her　young　clergyman

to　enjoy　uninterrupted　bliss　in　their　rose…trellised　parsonage　in

the　West　of　England：　but　some　there　be　among　the　novel…reading

classesold　experienced　folkswho　know　better　than　this。　　Some

there　be　who　have　been　married；　and　found　that　they　have　still

something　to　see　and　to　do；　and　to　suffer　mayhap；　and　that

adventures；　and　pains；　and　pleasures；　and　taxes；　and　sunrises　and

settings；　and　the　business　and　joys　and　griefs　of　life　go　on　after；

as　before　the　nuptial　ceremony。



Therefore　I　say；　it　is　an　unfair　advantage　which　the　novelist　takes

of　hero　and　heroine；　as　of　his　inexperienced　reader；　to　say　good…by

to　the　two　former；　as　soon　as　ever　they　are　made　husband　and　wife；

and　I　have　often　wished　that　additions　should　be　made　to　all　works

of　fiction　which　have　been　brought　to　abrupt　terminations　in　the

manner　described；　and　that　we　should　hear　what　occurs　to　the　sober

married　man；　as　well　as　to　the　ardent　bachelor；　to　the　matron；　as

well　as　to　the　blushing　spinster。　　And　in　this　respect　I　admire

（and　would　desire　to　imitate；）　the　noble　and　prolific　French

author；　Alexandre　Dumas；　who　carries　his　heroes　from　early　youth

down　to　the　most　venerable　old　age；　and　does　not　let　them　rest

until　they　are　so　old；　that　it　is　full　time　the　poor　fellows　should

get　a　little　peace　and　quiet。　　A　hero　is　much　too　valuable　a

gentleman　to　be　put　upon　the　retired　list；　in　the　prime　and　vigor

of　his　youth；　and　I　wish　to　know　what　lady　among　us　would　like　to

be　put　on　the　shelf；　and　thought　no　longer　interesting；　because　she

has　a　family　growing　up；　and　is　four　or　five　and　thirty　years　of

age？　　I　have　known　ladies　at　sixty；　with　hearts　as　tender　and　ideas

as　romantic　as　any　young　misses　of　sixteen。　　Let　us　have　middle…

aged　novels　then；　as　well　as　your　extremely　juvenile　legends：　let

the　young　ones　be　warned　that　the　old　folks　have　a　right　to　be

interesting：　and　that　a　lady　may　continue　to　have　a　heart；　although

she　is　somewhat　stouter　than　she　was　when　a　school…girl；　and　a　man

his　feelings；　although　he　gets　his　hair　from　Truefitt's。



Thus　I　would　desire　that　the　biographies　of　many　of　our　most

illustrious　personages　of　romance　should　be　continued　by　fitting

hands；　and　that　they　should　be　heard　of；　until　at　least　a　decent

age。Look　at　Mr。　James's　heroes：　they　invariably　marry　young。

Look　at　Mr。　Dickens's：　they　disappear　from　the　scene　when　they　are

mere　chits。　　I　trust　these　authors；　who　are　still　alive；　will　see

the　propriety　of　telling　us　something　more　about　people　in　whom　we

took　a　considerable　interest；　and　who　must　be　at　present　strong　and

hearty；　and　in　the　full　vigor　of　health　and　intellect。　　And　in　the

tales　of　the　great　Sir　Walter　（may　honor　be　to　his　name）；　I　am　sure

there　are　a　number　of　people　who　are　untimely　carried　away　from　us；

and　of　whom　we　ought　to　hear　more。



My　dear　Rebecca；　daughter　of　Isaac　of　York；　has　always；　in　my　mind；

been　one　of　these；　nor　can　I　ever　believe　that　such　a　woman；　so

admirable；　so　tender；　so　heroic；　so　beautiful；　could　disappear

altogether　before　such　another　woman　as　Rowena；　that　vapid；　flaxen…

headed　creature；　who　is；　in　my　humble　opinion；　unworthy　of　Ivanhoe；

and　unworthy　of　her　place　as　heroine。　　Had　both　of　them　got　their

rights；　it　ever　seemed　to　me　that　Rebecca　would　have　had　the

husband；　and　Rowena　would　have　gone　off　to　a　convent　and　shut

herself　up；　where　I；　for　one；　would　never　have　taken　the　trouble

of　inquiring　for　her。



But　after　all　she　married　Ivanhoe。　　What　is　to　be　done？　　There　is

no　help　for　it。　　There　it　is　in　black　and　white　at　the　end　of　the

third　volume　of　Sir　Walter　Scott's　chronicle；　that　the　couple　were

joined　together　in　matrimony。　　And　must　the　Disinherited　Knight；

whose　blood　has　been　fired　by　the　suns　of　Palestine；　and　whose

heart　has　been　warmed　in　the　company　of　the　tender　and　beautiful

Rebecca；　sit　down　contented　for　life　by　the　side　of　such　a　frigid

piece　of　propriety　as　that　icy；　faultless；　prim；　niminy…piminy

Rowena？　　Forbid　it　fate；　forbid　it　poetical　justice！　　There　is　a

simple　plan　for　setting　matters　right；　and　giving　all　parties　their

due；　which　is　here　submitted　to　the　novel…reader。　　Ivanhoe's

history　MUST　have　had　a　continuation；　and　it　is　this　which　ensues。

I　may　be　wrong　in　some　particulars　of　the　narrative；as　what

writer　will　not　be？but　of　the　main　incidents　of　the　history；　I

have　in　my　own　mind　no　sort　of　doubt；　and　confidently　submit　them

to　that　generous　public　which　likes　to　see　virtue　righted；　true

love　rewarded；　and　the　brilliant　Fairy　descend　out　of　the　blazing

chariot　at　the　end　of　the　pantomime；　and　make　Harlequin　and

Columbine　happy。　　What；　if　reality　be　not　so；　gentlemen　and　ladies；

and　if；　after　dancing　a　variety　of　jigs　and　antics；　and　jumping　in

and　out　of　endless　trap…doors　and　windows；　through　life's　shifting

scenes；　no　fairy　comes　down　to　make　US　comfortable　at　the　close　of

the　performance？　　Ah！　let　us　give　our　honest　novel…folks　the

benefit　of　their　position；　and　not　be　envious　of　their　good　luck。



No　person　who　has　read　the　preceding　volumes　of　this　history；　as

the　famous　chronicler　of　Abbotsford　has　recorded　them；　can　doubt

for　a　moment　what　was　the　result　of　the　marriage　between　Sir

Wilfrid　of　Ivanhoe　and　Lady　Rowena。　　Those　who　have　marked　her

conduct　during　her　maide