01-the kreutzer sonata-第6部分
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the sleeping…rooms; upon the bedding; upon the morning…gowns;
upon the wrappers; the linen; the costumes! Understand that if
people married according to the old fashion; as this old man said
just now; then these eiderdown coverlets and this bedding would
all be sacred details; but with us; out of ten married people
there is scarcely to be found one who; I do not say believes in
sacraments (whether he believes or not is a matter of
indifference to us); but believes in what he promises。 Out of a
hundred men; there is scarcely one who has not married before;
and out of fifty scarcely one who has not made up his mind to
deceive his wife。
〃The great majority look upon this journey to the church as a
condition necessary to the possession of a certain woman。 Think
then of the supreme significance which material details must take
on。 Is it not a sort of sale; in which a maiden is given over to
a debauche; the sale being surrounded with the most agreeable
details?
CHAPTER XI。
〃All marry in this way。 And I did like the rest。 If the young
people who dream of the honeymoon only knew what a disillusion it
is; and always a disillusion! I really do not know why all think
it necessary to conceal it。
〃One day I was walking among the shows in Paris; when; attracted
by a sign; I entered an establishment to see a bearded woman and
a water…dog。 The woman was a man in disguise; and the dog was an
ordinary dog; covered with a sealskin; and swimming in a bath。
It was not in the least interesting; but the Barnum accompanied
me to the exit very courteously; and; in addressing the people
who were coming in; made an appeal to my testimony。 'Ask the
gentleman if it is not worth seeing! Come in; come in! It only
costs a franc!' And in my confusion I did not dare to answer
that there was nothing curious to be seen; and it was upon my
false shame that the Barnum must have counted。
〃It must be the same with the persons who have passed through the
abominations of the honeymoon。 They do not dare to undeceive
their neighbor。 And I did the same。
〃The felicities of the honeymoon do not exist。 On the contrary;
it is a period of uneasiness; of shame; of pity; and; above all;
of ennui;of ferocious ennui。 It is something like the
feeling of a youth when he is beginning to smoke。 He desires to
vomit; he drivels; and swallows his drivel; pretending to enjoy
this little amusement。 The vice of marriage〃 。 。 。
〃What! Vice?〃 I said。 〃But you are talking of one of the most
natural things。〃
〃Natural!〃 said he。 〃Natural! No; I consider on the contrary
that it is against nature; and it is I; a perverted man; who have
reached this conviction。 What would it be; then; if I had not
known corruption? To a young girl; to every unperverted young
girl; it is an act extremely unnatural; just as it is to
children。 My sister married; when very young; a man twice her
own age; and who was utterly corrupt。 I remember how astonished
we were the night of her wedding; when; pale and covered with
tears; she fled from her husband; her whole body trembling;
saying that for nothing in the world would she tell what he
wanted of her。
〃You say natural? It is natural to eat; that is a pleasant;
agreeable function; which no one is ashamed to perform from the
time of his birth。 No; it is not natural。 A pure young girl
wants one thing;children。 Children; yes; not a lover。〃 。 。 。
〃But;〃 said I; with astonishment; 〃how would the human race
continue?〃
〃But what is the use of its continuing?〃 he rejoined;
vehemently。
〃What! What is the use? But then we should not exist。〃
〃And why is it necessary that we should exist?〃
〃Why; to live; to be sure。〃
〃And why live? The Schopenhauers; the Hartmanns; and all the
Buddhists; say that the greatest happiness is Nirvana; Non…Life;
and they are right in this sense;that human happiness is
coincident with the annihilation of 'Self。' Only they do not
express themselves well。 They say that Humanity should
annihilate itself to avoid its sufferings; that its object should
be to destroy itself。 Now the object of Humanity cannot be to
avoid sufferings by annihilation; since suffering is the result
of activity。 The object of activity cannot consist in
suppressing its consequences。 The object of Man; as of Humanity;
is happiness; and; to attain it; Humanity has a law which it must
carry out。 This law consists in the union of beings。 This union
is thwarted by the passions。 And that is why; if the passions
disappear; the union will be accomplished。 Humanity then will
have carried out the law; and will have no further reason to
exist。〃
〃And before Humanity carries out the law?〃
〃In the meantime it will have the sign of the unfulfilled law;
and the existence of physical love。 As long as this love shall
exist; and because of it; generations will be born; one of which
will finally fulfil the law。 When at last the law shall be
fulfilled; the Human Race will be annihilated。 At least it is
impossible for us to conceive of Life in the perfect union of
people。〃
CHAPTER XII。
〃Strange theory!〃 cried I。
〃Strange in what? According to all the doctrines of the Church;
the world will have an end。 Science teaches the same fatal
conclusions。 Why; then; is it strange that the same thing should
result from moral Doctrine? 'Let those who can; contain;' said
Christ。 And I take this passage literally; as it is written。
That morality may exist between people in their worldly
relations; they must make complete chastity their object。 In
tending toward this end; man humiliates himself。 When he shall
reach the last degree of humiliation; we shall have moral
marriage。
〃But if man; as in our society; tends only toward physical love;
though he may clothe it with pretexts and the false forms of
marriage; he will have only permissible debauchery; he will know
only the same immoral life in which I fell and caused my wife to
fall; a life which we call the honest life of the family。 Think
what a perversion of ideas must arise when the happiest situation
of man; liberty; chastity; is looked upon as something wretched
and ridiculous。 The highest ideal; the best situation of woman;
to be pure; to be a vestal; a virgin; excites fear and laughter
in our society。 How many; how many young girls sacrifice their
purity to this Moloch of opinion by marrying rascals that they
may not remain virgins;that is; superiors! Through fear of
finding themselves in that ideal state; they ruin themselves。
〃But I did not understand formerly; I did not understand that the
words of the Gospel; that 'he who looks upon a woman to lust
after her has already committed adultery;' do not apply to the
wives of others; but notably and especially to our own wives。 I
did not understand this; and I thought that the honeymoon and all
of my acts during that period were virtuous; and that to satisfy
one's desires with his wife is an eminently chaste thing。 Know;
then; that I consider these departures; these isolations; which
young married couples arrange with the permission of their
parents; as nothing else than a license to engage in debauchery。
〃I saw; then; in this nothing bad or shameful; and; hoping for
great joys; I began to live the honeymoon。 And very certainly
none of these joys followed。 But I had faith; and was determined
to have them; cost what they might。 But the more I tried to
secure them; the less I succeeded。 All this time I felt anxious;
ashamed; and weary。 Soon I began to suffer。 I believe that on
the third or fourth day I found my wife sad and asked her the
reason。 I began to embrace her; which in my opinion was all that
she could desire。 She put me away with her hand; and began to
weep。
〃At what? She could not tell me。 She was filled with sorrow;
with anguish。 Probably her tortured nerves had suggested to her
the truth about the baseness of our relations; but she found no
words in which to say it。 I began to question her; she answered
that she missed her absent mother。 It seemed to me that she was
not telling the truth。 I sought to console her by maintaining
silence in regard to her parents。 I did not imagine that she
felt herself simply overwhelmed; and that her parents had nothing
to do with her sorrow。 She did not listen to me; and I accused
her of caprice。 I began to laugh at her gently。 She dried her
tears; and began to reproach me; in hard and wounding terms; for
my selfishness and cruelty。
〃I looked at her。 Her whole face expressed hatred; and hatred of
me。 I cannot describe to you the fright which this sight gave
me。 'How? What?' thought I; 'love is the unity of souls; and
here she hates me? Me? Why? But it is impossible! It is no
longer she!'
〃I tried to calm her。 I came in conflict with an immovable and
cold hostility; so that; having no time to reflect; I was seized
with keen irritation。 We exchanged disagreeable remarks。 The
impression of this first quarrel was terrible。 I say quarrel;
but the term is inexact。 It was the sudden discovery of the
abyss that had been dug between us。 Love was exhausted with the
satisfaction of sensuality。 We stood face to face in our true
light; like two egoists trying to procure the greatest possible
enjoyment; like two individuals trying to mutually exploit each
other。
〃So what I called our quarrel was our actual situation as it
appeared after the satisfaction of sensual desire。 I did not
realize that this cold hostility was our normal state; and that
this first quarrel would soon be drowned under a new flood of the
intensest sensuality。 I thought that we had disputed with each
other; and had become reconciled; and that it would not happen
again。 But in this same honeymoon there came a period of
satiety;