the way to peace-第6部分

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abide　in　grace　herself；〃　he　ended；　sadly。



〃I　should　have　thought　you　would　have　been　sorry　then；

that　you〃　Lewis　began；　but　checked　himself。　　〃How　about〃

he　said；　and　stopped　to　clear　his　voice；　which　broke　huskily；

〃how　about　love　between　man　and　woman？　　Husband　and　wife？〃



〃Marriage　is　honorable；〃　Brother　Nathan　conceded；　〃Shakers　don't

despise　marriage。　　But　they　like　to　see　folks　grow　out　of　it

into　something　better；　likelike　your　wife；　maybe。〃



〃Well；　your　doctrine　would　put　an　end　to　the　world；〃

Lewis　said；　smiling。



〃I　guess；〃　said　Brother　Nathan；　dryly；　〃there　ain't　any　immediate

danger　of　the　world　coming　to　an　end。〃



〃I'd　like　to　see　that　book；〃　Lewis　said；　when　they　parted

at　the　pasture…bars　where　a　foot…path　led　down　the　hill

to　his　own　house。



And　that　night　Brother　Nathan　had　an　eager　word　for　the　family。

〃He's　asked　for　a　book！〃　he　said。　　The　Eldress　smiled　doubtfully；

but　Athalia；　with　a　rapturous　upward　look；　said；



〃May　the　Lord　guide　him！〃　then　added；　practically；　〃It　won't

amount　to　anything。　　He　thinks　Shakerism　isn't　human。〃



〃That's　not　against　it；　that's　not　against　it！〃

Nathan　declared；　smiling；　〃I've　told　him　so　a　dozen　times！〃



But　Athalia　was　so　happy　that　first　year；　and　so　important；

that　she　did　not　often　concern　herself　with　the　welfare　of　the　man

who　had　been　her　husband。　　Insteadit　was　early　in　April

he　concerned　himself　with　hers；　he　tried；　tentatively；　to　see

if　it　wasn't　almost　time　for　Athalia　〃to　get　through　with　it。〃

Of　course；　afterward；　Sister　Athalia　realized；　with　chagrin；

that　this　attempt　was　only　a　forerunner　of　the　fever　that

was　developing；　which　in　a　few　days　was　to　make　him　a　very　sick　man。

But　for　the　moment　his　question　seemed　to　her　a　temptation

of　the　devil；　and；　of　course；　resisted　temptation　made　her　faith

stronger　than　ever。



It　was　a　deliciously　cold　spring　night；　Lewis　had　drawn　the　table；　with

his　books　on　it；　close　to　the　fire　to　try　to　keep　warm；　but　he　shivered；

even　while　his　shoulders　scorched；　and　somehow　he　could　not　keep　his　mind

on　the　black；　rectangular　characters　of　the　Hebrew　page　before　him。

He　had　been　interested　in　Brother　Nathan's　explanation　of　Hosea's

forecasting　of　Shakerism；　and　he　had　admitted　to　himself　that；

if　Nathan　was　correct；　there　would　be　something　to　be　said　for　Shakerism。

The　idea　made　him　vaguely　uneasy；　because；　that　〃something〃　might　be

so　conclusive；　thatBut　he　could　not　face　such　a　possibility。




He　wanted　to　dig　at　the　text；　so　that　he　might　refute　Nathan；

but　somehow　that　night　he　was　too　dull　to　refute　anybody；　and　by…and…by

he　pushed　the　black…lettered　page　aside；　and；　crouching　over　the　fire；

held　out　his　hands　to　the　blaze。　　He　thought；　vaguely；　of　the　big

fireplace　in　the　old　study；　and　suddenly；　in　the　chilly　numbness

of　his　mind；　he　saw　itwith　such　distinctness　that　he　was　startled。

Then；　a　moment　later；　it　changed　into　the　south　chamber　that

had　been　his　mother's　bedroomhe　could　even　detect　the　faint

scent　of　rose…geranium　that　always　hung　about　her；　he　noticed

that　the　green　shutters　on　the　west　windows　were　bowed；　and　from

between　them　a　line　of　sunshine　fell　across　the　matting　on　the　floor

and　touched　the　four…poster　that　had　a　chintz　spread　and　valance。

How　well　he　knew　the　faded　roses　and　the　cockatoos　on　that　old　chintz！

Over　there　by　the　window　he　had　caught　her　crying　that　time　he　had

hurt　her　feelings；　〃just　for　his　own　pleasure〃；　the　old　stab　of　this

thought　pierced　through　the　feverish　mists　and　touched　the　quick。

He　struggled　numbly　with　the　visualization　of　fever；　brushing　his

hot　hand　across　his　eyes　and　trying　to　see　which　was　real

the　geranium…sweet　south　chamber　or　the　chilly　house　on　Lonely　Lake　Road。

Athalia　had　given　him　pain　in　that　same　wayjust　for　her　own　pleasure。

Poor　little　Tay！　　He　was　afraid　it　would　hurt　her；　some　day；　when　she

realized　it；　well；　when　she　came　to　herself；　when　she　got　through　her

playing　at　Shakerism；　he　must　not　let　her　know　how　great　the　pain

had　been；　she　would　suffer　too　much　if　she　should　understand　his　misery：

and　Athalia　didn't　bear　suffering　well。　。　。　。　But　how　long　she　had　been

getting　over　Shakerism！　　He　had　thought　it　would　only　last　six　months；

and　here　it　was　a　year！　　Well；　if　Nathan's　reading　of　the　Prophecies

was　right；　then　Athalia　would　never　get　over　it。　　She　ought　never

to　get　over　it。　　Then　what　would　become　of　the　farm　and　the　sawmill？

And　instantly　everything　was　unreal　again；　he　could　hear　the　hum

of　the　driving…wheel　and　the　screech　of　the　saw　tearing　through　a　log；

how　fragrant　the　fresh　planks　were；　and　the　great　heaps　of　sawdust

but　the　noise　made　his　head　ache；　andand　the　fire　didn't　seem　hot。　。　。　。



It　was　in　one　of　those　moments　when　the　mists　thinned；　and　he　knew　that

he　was　shivering　over　the　stove　instead　of　basking　in　the　sunshine　in　his

mother's　room　that　smelled　of　rose…geranium　leaves；　that　Athalia　came　in。

She　looked　conscious　and　confused；　full　of　a　delightful　embarrassment

at　being　for　once　alone　with　him。　　The　color　was　deep　on　her　cheeks；

and　her　eyes　were　starry。



〃Eldress　asked　me　to　bring　your　mail　down　to　you；　Brother　Lewis；〃

she　said。



〃Thalia！〃　he　said；　〃I　am　so　glad　to　see　you；　dear；　II　seem

to　be　rather　used　up；　somehow。〃　　The　mists　had　quite

cleared　away；　but　a　violent　headache　made　his　words　stumble。

〃I　was　just　wondering；　Thaliadon't　you　think　you　might　go

home　now？　　You've　had　a　whole　year　of　itand　I　really　ought

to　go　homethe　mill〃



〃Why；　Lewis　Hall！　　What　do　you　mean！〃　she　said；

forgetting　her　part　in　her　indignation。　　〃I　am　a　Shakeress。

You've　no　right　to　speak　so　to　me。〃



He　blinked　at　her　through　the　blur　of　pain。　　〃I　wish　you'd

stay　with　me；　Athalia；　I've　got　aa　sort　ofheadache。

Never　mind　about　being　a　Shakeress　just　for　to…night。　It　would

be　such　a　comfort　to　have　you。〃



But　Athalia；　with　a　horrified　look；　had　left　him。

She　fled　home　in　the　darkness　with　burning　cheeks；　she　debated

with　herself　whether　she　should　tell　Eldress　how　her　husband

no；　Brother　Lewishad　tried　to　〃tempt〃　her　back　to　him。

In　her　excitement　at　this　lure　of　the　devil　she　even　wondered

whether　Lewis　had　pretended　that　he　was　ill；　to　induce

her　to　stay　with　him？　　But　even　Athalia's　imagination　could

not　compass　such　a　thought　of　Lewis　for　more　than　a　moment；

so　she　only　told　the　Eldress　that　Brother　Lewis　had　〃tried

to　persuade　her　to　go　back　to　the　world　with　him。〃

The　Lord　had　defended　her；　she　said；　excitedly；　and　she　had

forbidden　him　to　speak　to　her！



Eldress　Hannah　looked　perplexed。　　〃That's　not　like　Lewis。

I　wonder〃　But　she　did　not　say　what　she　wondered。　　Instead；　she　went

early　in　the　morning　down　Lonely　Lake　Road　to　Lewis's　house。

The　poor　fellow　was　entirely　in　the　mists　by　that　time；

shivering　and　burning　and　quite　unconscious；　saying　over　and　over；

〃She　wouldn't　stay；　she　wouldn't　stay。〃



〃'Lure　her　back；'〃　said　Eldress　Hannah；　with　a　snort。　　〃Poor　boy！

It's　good　riddance　for　him。〃



But　Eldress　Hannah　stayed；　and　Brother　Nathan　joined　her；

and　for　many　days　the　little　community　was　shaken　with　real　anxiety；

for　they　had　all　come　to　love　the　solitary；　waiting　husband。

Athalia；　abashed；　but　still　cherishing　the　dear　insult　of　having

been　tempted；　took　what　little　part　Eldress　allowed　her　in

the　care　of　the　sick　man；　but　in　the　six　or　seven　weeks　of　his

illness　Brother　Nathan　and　the　Eldress　were　his　devoted　nurses；

and　by…and…by　a　genuine　friendship　grew　up　between　them。

Old　Eldress　Hannah's　shrewd　good…humor　was　as　wholesome　as　a　sound

winter　apple；　and　Nathan　had　a　gayety　Lewis　had　never　suspected。

The　old　man　grew　very　confidential　in　those　days　of　Lewis's　convalescence；

he　showed　his　simple　heart　with　a　generosity　that　made

the　sick　man's　lip　tighten　once　or　twice　and　his　eyes　blur；

Lewis　came　to　know　all　about　Sister　Lydia；　indeed；　he　knew　more

than　the　old　man　knew　himself。　　When　the　invalid　grew　stronger；

Nathan　wrestled　with　him　over　the　Prophecies；　and　Lewis　studied　them

and　the　other　foundation…stones　of　the　Shaker　faith　with　a　constantly

increasing　anxiety。　　〃Because；〃　he　said；　with　a　nervous　blink；

〃if　you　ARE　right〃　But　he　left　the　sentence　unfinished。

Once　he　said；　with　a　feeble　passionfor　he　was　still　very　weak〃I

tell　you；　Nathan；　it　isn't　human！〃　and　then　added；　under　his　breath；

〃but　God　knows　whether　that's　not　in　its　fa…vor。〃





When　he　was　quite　well　again　he　was　plainly　preoccupied。

He　pored　over　the　Prophecies　with　a　concentration　that　made

him　blind　even　to　Athalia's　tired　looks。　　Once；　when　some　one

said　in　his　presence；　〃Sister　'Thalia　is　working　too　hard；〃

he　blinked　at　her　in　an　absent　way　before　the　old；

anxious　attention　awoke　in　his　eyes。



Athalia　tossed　her　head　and　said；　〃Brother　Lewis　has　his　own

affairs　to　think　of；　I　guess！〃



And　he　said；　eagerly：　　〃Yes；　'Thalia；　I　have　been　thinking

Some　day　I'll　tell　you。　　But　not　yet。〃



〃Oh；　I　haven't　time　to　pry　into　other　people's　thoughts；〃

she　said；　acidly。　　And；　indeed；　just　then　her　time　was　very　full。

She　was　enormously　useful　to　the　community　that　second　winter；

her　young　power　and　strength　shone　out　against　the　growing

weariness　of　the　old　sisters。　　〃Athalia's　capable；〃

Eldress　Hannah　said；　and　the　other　sisters　said　〃Yee；〃

and　smiled　at　one　another。



〃She　IS　useful；〃　Sister　Jane　declared；　〃do　you　know；　she　got　through

the　churning　before　nine？　　I'd　'a'　been　at　it　until　eleven！〃



〃Athalia　is　like　one　of　those　candles　that　have　a　streak　of　soft

wax　in　'em；〃　Eldress　Hannah　murmured；　〃but　she's　useful；

as　you　say；　Jane。〃



In　January；　when　the　Eldress　fell　ill；　Athalia　was　especially　useful。

She　nursed　her　with　a　passion　of　faithfulness　that　made

the　other　sisters　remonstrate。



〃You'll　wear　yourself　out；　Athalia；　you　haven't　had　your　clothes

off　for　three　days　and　nights！〃



〃The　Lord　has　upheld　me；